Can we complain about people?

[tacokick]

This is just a long vent but I’m mad today!

Today I was supposed to go to my dad’s for lunch. He made a big deal over inviting me over for a lunch for my birthday and so he can give me my present.

Yesterday I called and asked which of two places near his house did he want to pick up lunch from. He said he didn’t want either choice because he “just had chicken” and he wanted a sub. One, I don’t want that and two, the place he wanted it from is closed until dinner. He is kind of weird about food so I thought not getting lunch wasn’t ideal but not worth arguing over.

I asked if he’d want me visit him in the morning (get doughnuts?) and pick up my present and his mail so I can pay his bills and just skip lunch and he said “I don’t have a present for you. I haven’t been to the store”—which I knew is not true.

I legit thought he was joking now; he makes a lot of deadpan jokes. I was like “ha ha I get it! You invited me over for my birthday lunch and to give me a present and now you don’t want lunch and you don’t have a present? Very funny. What time should I come over?”.

He replied he didn’t want lunch from either place and thought I could just run to the bank and get myself some money out of his account. WTF.

I am so mad. I plan every holiday and make or arrange every holiday and birthday meal.
I had a horrible migraine for his birthday in July but I still made him an elaborate cake and my husband went without me, brought lunch for him, a friend and my brother and the cake! I didn’t even get a slice!

He got my husband and brother a present for their birthdays! My brother does less than zero for him and I handle his whole life outside of his shopping and meal prep.

He is the one who made this big deal over inviting me to lunch for my birthday, said it’s our new tradition since my mom died and that he would have a present for me etc. I didn’t suggest or expect anything.

I know it’s not some confusion on his end, he just isn’t thinking about anyone but himself—he doesn’t want my suggestion for lunch and I have access to his bank account (to pay his bills) so why bother making the trip himself?

We already decided not to celebrate holidays on the day this year (except Thanksgiving) and I am going to put no effort in. Here’s a frozen pizza to split! Merry Christmas!

At least it isn’t my actual birthday today??


Is anyone else mad today? Don’t let me be alone!

[TR]

I'm sorry. My dad forgot my birthday this year. Not unprecedented, but he's been better in recent years and usually at least sends a last-minute Edible Arrangement when he remembers day of. But this year was 40 and nada. He did happen to call me two days after and I even mentioned my mom being in town, but he didn't say happy birthday or even acknowledge I said it so...that was weird.

I'm annoyed at people at work who keep fucking things up and can't seem to do their jobs, but yet want to complain about other things.

[deadwing]

tacokick, that sounds incredibly frustrating. I kind of secretly hate my birthday because in theory it should be "special" but in reality it's just another day.

I'm somewhat annoyed with my new boss, but I probably shouldn't be. He stepped into the shoes of a giant and is doing OK. He just isn't as knowledgeable as my old boss. I feel like old boss and I could communicate very quickly and efficiently because of our long history - we just got what the other needed very easily. New boss I need to explain things to like he's 5 sometimes. He was completely useless during the crisis last week, even though he stayed in the epic meeting and took notes on things so he could learn. Old boss would have been in the trenches with me getting shit back online.

[pandorica]

I'm sorry, that sounds like you're fully justified in being mad!

My complaint: My H is (IMO) irrationally mad about our Disney trip happening this fall. He has decided to stay home with the twins because he thinks it will be stressful with them, and thinks we should have just put it off for 3-4 more years.
Counterpoint: this was my mom's idea and she's paying for tickets and rental car, and the lodging is free from my uncle. Flights I paid $50 because we had points. So seems like a freaking no brainer to me to go now AND again later when the twins are older... Just skipping it seems like punishing my DD just because he doesn't like the timing or going with my family.

[scm1011]

tacokick, I'm sorry, that would infuriate me. My birthday was Monday and neither of my parents called me, so I commiserate. The next day my Dad texted me and I was like "oh thanks, it was yesterday". Womp womp.

[sdlaura]

I'm sorry tacokick - that sucks.

pandorica , how old are your twins? We debated whether to bring my youngest to Disneyland with us when we went in June - he had just turned 3. But was 2 for purposes of getting in free He LOVED it. The rest of the family had the best time watching him have so much fun. We were so glad we brought him.

I loved how we could take the older kids twice when we did rider switch for bigger kid rides. Like I would go on the ride with my two older kids while DH waited with our two littles, then my two older kids would get to go on it again with DH when I got off - without waiting in line again. And Disney has lots of rides that smaller kids can go on, relative to other theme parks, IMO.

I also took my older kids to Disney World when they were 1 and 2 years old. DH had a conference. They also had a great time.

[pandorica]

Aug 24, 2023 10:56:35 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

I'm sorry tacokick - that sucks.

pandorica , how old are your twins? We debated whether to bring my youngest to Disneyland with us when we went in June - he had just turned 3. But was 2 for purposes of getting in free He LOVED it. The rest of the family had the best time watching him have so much fun. We were so glad we brought him.

I loved how we could take the older kid twice when we did rider switch. Like I would go on the ride with my two older kids while DH waited with our two littles, then my two older kids would get to go on it again with DH when I got off - without waiting in line again.

I also took my older kids to Disney World when they were 1 and 2 years old. DH had a conference. They also had a great time.

They will be 13 months, so definitely a handful! And we'd have to figure out logistics like 2 extra car seats, PnPs etc. And I was totally on board with taking them still but he's being a grump and wants to stay home, so whatever to him! Just annoyed that he's going to be annoyed about it for the entire planning phase and while we're there 🙄

[sdlaura]

pandorica - that makes sense, and will obviously be way easier for you to just go with your older child.

But in terms of car seats, you could always just rent them along with the rental car, and Disney has lots of baby rental places that will just drop off some PnPs to wherever you're staying (if not a hotel that provides them). So I wouldn't let that stop you if you want to take everyone

[erbear]

tacokick, that sucks. I'm mad at him too.

I'm also mad at my boss. Long story short, he and I have worked together for 16 years (he was actually my student teacher then...) and he's worked his way into admin. He's generally great at it, but he's making it weird. I know there's an adjustment but dude, we've been friends forever. I visited your babies in the hospital when they were born. We've drank a billion beers together and gossiped about our co-workers. I know we need to scale it back but dumping me to be "professional" is pretty shitty.

[maudefindlay]

Car line, come on folks, get it together. Swoop in as a group, swoop out as a group. Stop making half the line stop twice and drop off is not the time to have a full fledged conversation thru the window. In and out, keep it moving.

[fortnightlily]

DH's relatives are making us travel several states away this weekend for a family event on Sunday even though a) they live 40 minutes from us, but wanted to do the event closer to the rest of the family, b) Monday is DS's first day of school, and c) didn't give people much notice so some of the family won't be there anyway because they had other plans. And we just got back from a vacation that involved a lot of driving a week ago.

[pandorica]

Aug 24, 2023 11:03:14 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

pandorica - that makes sense, and will obviously be way easier for you to just go with your older child.

But in terms of car seats, you could always just rent them along with the rental car, and Disney has lots of baby rental places that will just drop off some PnPs to wherever you're staying (if not a hotel that provides them). So I wouldn't let that stop you if you want to take everyone

Trust me, I want to take everyone! My H is just being a giant baby about it all and refuses to go (and I'm not taking all 3 kids without him). He'll just sit home and be mad about it.

[tacokick]

Well, at least I know I am not alone in having parents that suck at birthdays! I’m sorry this is so common for all of us. It’s only one day a year!! Get it together!

[maudefindlay]

Aug 24, 2023 11:16:48 GMT -5 fortnightlily said:

DH's relatives are making us travel several states away this weekend for a family event on Sunday even though a) they live 40 minutes from us, but wanted to do the event closer to the rest of the family, b) Monday is DS's first day of school, and c) didn't give people much notice so some of the family won't be there anyway because they had other plans. And we just got back from a vacation that involved a lot of driving a week ago.

Why not just say no, sounds like you have plenty of reasons to opt out.

[windyseas]

Aug 24, 2023 11:11:43 GMT -5 maudefindlay said:

Car line, come on folks, get it together. Swoop in as a group, swoop out as a group. Stop making half the line stop twice and drop off is not the time to have a full fledged conversation thru the window. In and out, keep it moving.

Along this line, can we also please pay attention to the car in front of us?  Our car line in past years has been pretty smooth and relatively quick.  This year, for whatever reason, it's much slower and backs up more than in previous years.  Knowing this, can we please pay attention to when the car in front of us moves?  Especially if we are actually getting to where the kids get out of the car?  When you are staring at your phone and not moving, you are delaying the line for everyone.  

[ssmjlm]

fortnightlily, 100% do not go. Set those boundaries.



There is a rule here at work. You do not upset two people in our office, our admin person and our security/property person. Two different division heads have upset these people this week and then come running to me. NOPE NOPE NOPE. You abide by the golden rule or you pay the consequences. They are nice, hardworking people who have expectations. If you can't meet what I consider minimal expectations from these people, that's on you.

[fortnightlily]

We can't skip it, unfortunately. And have no real reason to other than inconvenience. I'm just venting because I'm annoyed

[Rainyday]

Aug 24, 2023 11:00:31 GMT -5 pandorica said:

Aug 24, 2023 10:56:35 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

I'm sorry tacokick - that sucks.

pandorica , how old are your twins? We debated whether to bring my youngest to Disneyland with us when we went in June - he had just turned 3. But was 2 for purposes of getting in free He LOVED it. The rest of the family had the best time watching him have so much fun. We were so glad we brought him.

I loved how we could take the older kid twice when we did rider switch. Like I would go on the ride with my two older kids while DH waited with our two littles, then my two older kids would get to go on it again with DH when I got off - without waiting in line again.

I also took my older kids to Disney World when they were 1 and 2 years old. DH had a conference. They also had a great time.

They will be 13 months, so definitely a handful! And we'd have to figure out logistics like 2 extra car seats, PnPs etc. And I was totally on board with taking them still but he's being a grump and wants to stay home, so whatever to him! Just annoyed that he's going to be annoyed about it for the entire planning phase and while we're there 🙄

I'm your H in their scenario. Just green them to stay home, he won't be/have any fun at Disney.
It sounds overwhelming (to me) and I would be dreading the trip and then ruining it for everyone else.

[pandorica]

Aug 24, 2023 11:29:38 GMT -5 Rainyday said:

Aug 24, 2023 11:00:31 GMT -5 pandorica said:

They will be 13 months, so definitely a handful! And we'd have to figure out logistics like 2 extra car seats, PnPs etc. And I was totally on board with taking them still but he's being a grump and wants to stay home, so whatever to him! Just annoyed that he's going to be annoyed about it for the entire planning phase and while we're there 🙄

I'm your H in their scenario. Just green them to stay home, he won't be/have any fun at Disney.
It sounds overwhelming (to me) and I would be dreading the trip and then ruining it for everyone else.

I did already tell him he could stay home. But he's definitely also annoyed we're going without him, which is the part I'm mad about!

[verycontrary247]

On Tuesday a parent brought their kid with an active HFMD rash into my kids daycare class. Teachers didn't catch it and send kid home until naptime.

We have *so much* going on in the next 2 weeks, it will be absolutely awful if she gets it. My husbands birthday is tomorrow, we have expensive tickets to Wicked and dinner reservations. My daughters birthday (and her birthday party) is next week, we are traveling back to our home town so our immediate family and some friends can attend, and she's finally old enough to be super hyped about it. She's been talking about it for months now. I will feel like a massive asshole if we have to cancel because realistically we won't be able to reschedule.



We've kept her home yesterday and today but it's essentially a waiting game to see whether she gets a fever or breaks out in a rash.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’m dreading working with a co-worker. I have no idea how she wasn’t fired last year, she’s a shit person and a shit teacher. I feel so bad for kids in her class, and I wish the parents were more vocal about her continuing.

[laterz]

::pulls up chair::

To the person posting about their Maui vacation - I get it, it might've been preplanned, it's not near Lahaina, but read the room. Not the time for posting a billion pictures.
To my husband - I love you, but please go away for a weekend and let me have the house all by myself for at least 3 days and 2 nights.
To my mom and dad - stop showing up in my dreams and fighting with me. I don't like it.
To my direct reports - sometimes you have to pick up the phone and actually talk to people.

[emilyinchile]

I'm sorry tacokick, that's just unnecessarily shitty of your dad and not what you deserve. I hope you take out the money and spend it on something you're really excited about!

[somersault72]

WTF is wrong with your dad tacokick??? This is just SO shitty.

My 5 year old is doing rec cheer. Her cheer coach is SO bitchy. My 5 year old described her as "not pleasant" LOL. We have an app for communication and she immediately snaps back at everyone with crappy responses. I see her grab girls by the arm at practices (no!). I don't know why she signed up to coach quite honestly.

[noodleoo]

tacokick, that sucks. It is worse than him forgetting your bday.

Neighbor who is a teacher: please stop telling me things I shouldn't know about DD1's school. Last year she told me my kid got moved at the last minute for some dumb reason from a class with her BFF to a class with no close friends. She struggled and was lonely, it was a whole thing. I just assumed it was chance but it extra pisses me off to know that she was moved at the last minute. This year, she told me that there is a certain kid in her class who is disruptive and inappropriate. She said she wanted to "warn me" but seriously, now I'm stressing over something that I have no control over and school hasn't even started yet. Why tell me? She's a nice person but apparently likes to gossip.

[waverly]

Someone I work with cannot take feedback. They were doing something wrong which is double the work and stuff they learned the first week. For example, look at the item/ look at the computer basic level stuff. I mentioned it to them because if I didn't they might say why didn't you tell me.

So then they push back oh well this wasn't done. This was never required to be done. Then they say oh well you didn't do that thing correctly over there. Yes, I did. I just explained to you that this side was our normal stuff and this other side over here was a special consideration. You chose not to listen to me, then you tried to challenge me to make yourself feel better all because I let you know that the work was already completed, something you would know if you bothered to open your eyeballs. You are exhausting.

[Bernadine]

Can I just complain in general? Because I’m not sure who’s responsible for this, lol.

I still don’t have my new car. We put the deposit down 5 1/2 weeks ago. If they had told us they weren’t sure when it would be in, fine. But they keep telling us next week, then it doesn’t come in, then next week, etc.

How does no one know where this car is and when they’ll get it??

[tacokick]

Aug 24, 2023 13:24:45 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

Can I just complain in general? Because I’m not sure who’s responsible for this, lol.

I still don’t have my new car. We put the deposit down 5 1/2 weeks ago. If they had told us they weren’t sure when it would be in, fine. But they keep telling us next week, then it doesn’t come in, then next week, etc.

How does no one know where this car is and when they’ll get it??

This happened with us recently and then suddenly we did get the car and they mysteriously refunded us $1000 so maybe that will happen to you too? Fingers crossed.

[cricketwife]

tacokick,  Ugh.  I'm so sorry.  

and YES! I WOULD LIKE TO COMPLAIN!!  I was speaking with my aunt on Friday.  She lives states away and is moving to my state but several hours from me.  She's starting to move her stuff down and trying to coordinate visiting my mother (her sister) in my city who lives in memory care.  

She is the caretaker of her/their brother, who also has dementia.  

Me:  So are you able to leave [uncle/brother] alone while you come down here? 
Aunt:  Cricketwife, I haven't told anybody this but he passed away. 
Me: When?
Aunt:  July 30  (IT WAS AUGUST 18!!!!)
Me: And when were you planning on telling people?
Aunt: I was waiting until anybody asked about him and you are the first one who asked. 

WTAF.  I mean honest to God.  For a family that is not particularly close and doesn't speak all the often, that is SOOOOO CRAZY. 

and inconsiderate. and rude. and just shitty. 

[ProfessorArtNerd]

cricketwife, I am agog. Wow