What is your household division of labour? M

[hannamaren]

My H does insurance defense and he often asks people that are laid up due to an accident what their share of the household work is. It got us talking last night. First he said that no lawyer would believe our reality (me - 90%, him 10%) but then I laughed and said it is more like me -40%, him 10% and 50% doesnt get done.

So how does your household divvy things up? (things can be carpool, vacuuming, grocery shopping)

[GailGoldie]

DH does at least 50% if not more of the actual cleaning. he does 99% of vacuuming, 99% of the dishes (does them almost every night)... he does the laundry (i fold it and put it away)...

I clean the kid's rooms, I clean the bathroom 90% of the time... I wipe down the kitchen more than DH, etc.

[honeybee]

Eh, we split pretty evenly. I do all the cooking, food shopping, random tiding, bathroom cleaning. He does most of the laundry, all the dishes, vacuuming and yard work.

When we do big house hold cleaning we pick a day we're both home and just power through chores until its all done.

[mbcdefg]

Me: cooking, grocery shopping, laundry

MH: yard maintenance, a lot of the household cleaning

He feeds the cats in the morning, I do it at night, and we both clean up after them. And we both take care of the dishes, either together or depending on who's free at the time.

[heyrebekah]

Sept 26, 2012 9:23:37 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

me -40%, him 10% and 50% doesnt get done.

This sounds about right.

[hocus]

I would say that over a year it is pretty close to 55-45 but at any given time it might swing 60-40 to 40-60 because one of us has something going on that means we're stretched too thin.

The main reason why I do more is that I have no commute (I work at home). So I do drop off for my older kid off at preschool and do most of the parent involvement there. I also cook dinner during the time when I would commute (DH cooks dinner 1 night per week, and we order once a week). In 2 years I might give up WAH role so I assume things with shift at that time.

When we're both home we're completely 50-50 with the kids and DH helps with the very little house work we do (though I do slightly more, because I care more).

[hannamaren]

This is one of those posts, isnt it? That comes up all the time.
Sorry.

[Deleted]

Probably 40DH-60Me now. DH does the laundry, some kid cauffering, some kid jobs (bedtime), picks up, grocery shops, car stuff, some gift shopping, yard work (what little gets done) & few various household chores. I do everything else. For years it was more like 85% me.

[ssmjlm]

DH does all outside, I maybe do 10% which is the flower bed stuff.

I probably do 60% inside and he does 40%.

Wow typing it out he does more, but honestly he always does the yardwork when I'm still at work and I just take care of the weeding and pruning.

[Deleted]

Most cleaning is outsourced.

Of what isn't outsourced, we split it pretty evenly. And we're both kind of self-sufficent... like, we each do our own laundry and typically make our own dinners (we rarely want the same thing) and such.

[lindyanne]

Right now, I'd say about 80/20 or 90/10 and 50/10/40 on the weeks that the cleaning lady comes. I do pretty much all shopping (including grabbing things for DH for his office (personal and "office" supplies - small office) and taking them over sometimes, 97% of cooking, 75% of dishes, 95% of "kid stuff" (bc even activities I normally schedule during the week so we have our weekends free). DH helps with laundry, puts his own away and mows the lawn most of the time (he enjoys this so he wants me to leave it for him but I let him do it when the weather isn't cooperating or he's just busy). I'm fine with the arrangement. We also rotate on putting DS to bed and rotate weekend shifts with one day each weekend getting to sleep in. He'll pitch in more if he sees things that need done or I ask and he is gone from the house for about 12 hours a day (leaves at 6:30 to go to the gym and then works till around 6) and usually does a bit of work at home too.

[chessie]

Its never even 50/50, Sometimes one is diong more then the other, just how it is. I do most household (cooking, cleaning, vacuum, bills, scheduling, scrubbing floors, deep cleaning, laundry, dog exercising, horse feeding, field pickup and trash turnout). DH does a lot of the bigger jobs, grass management/field management, manure management, car repairs, repairs of all farm equipment, all repairs on house/additions house/barns, fixes (horses break shit all the time!) and splits wood for heatting (we don't have any other source). dH is layed up on and off, and honestly its a bitch, he does far more then me or most people around. I got hurt the last time from trying to do EVERYTHING and ended up in the hospital. If we have kids we will have to hire help, no way, no how, especially no family/friends around.

[Velvetshady]

Sept 26, 2012 9:28:56 GMT -5 heyrebekah said:

Sept 26, 2012 9:23:37 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

me -40%, him 10% and 50% doesn't get done.

This sounds about right.

This. Except is really more like me responsible for 50%, him responsible for 50%, and 60% doesn't get done (or rarely gets done).

[littlemisssunshine]

Probably 60/40.

Me: Vacuuming, mopping, bathrooms, dusting, dishes, cooking, laundry, picking up clutter, and all other random cleaning.

Him: yard work, sweeping, grocery shopping, feeds/takes care of cat & turtle

It usually works, unless its winter and he's not going much yard work and doesn't pick up the slack inside.

[Susie]

Calvin:
- grocery shopping
- dinner every night
- feed Doggie D breakfast + make coffee
- most kitchen cleaning

Susie:
- bill paying, checkbook balancing
- researching/initiating all major financial discussions & large purchases
- most non-kitchen cleaning (bathrooms, vacuuming)

Everything else is up for grabs based on who has time.

[SJ]

Me: meal planning, grocery shopping, Weeknight Cooking, dishes, picking up clutter, paying bills & doing all administrative tasks

Him: Special Occasion cooking, laundry, most car stuff

Neither/Cleaning Service: Vacuuming, mopping, bathrooms, dusting, and all other deep cleaning.

No One: folding laundry, ironing

We don't have kids or pets but I think that DH will be a very involved dad someday. He is hoping to SAH one day/week (he owns his own business)

[fbf2006]

We feel it's equal enough.
Him: cooking, cleaning bathrooms, planning vacations
Me: mopping/cleaning the apartment, kitchen cleanup, dishwashing (putting dishes in dish washer), laundry,
Both: grocery shopping (we typically go together), bill paying that doesn't get done automatically
No one: dusting lol

[cjeanette]

It is probably 25% me and 75% H.

[ECB]

It's fair based on our lives. I can't give %'s though. Dh works 2 weeks on/ 2 weeks off. When he's at work- it's entirely on me. Everything. Chores, childcare, etc. Everything.

But when he's home (occasionally during his "on" time and then his full 2 weeks off), he always pitches in as best he can, and during his off time - he REALLY takes on a huge load.

He knows how much work it is for me when he's gone, so when he's home, he tries to take the burden off of me as best he can

[midwest07]

What does he mean that no lawyer would believe that your household was 90/10? I know a lot of households that are basically 100/0.

I am guessing he means that one would think a plaintiff is exaggerating if he/she says that he/she does 90% of the work?

[ejpint]

We're pretty even, I think.
I do 90% of cooking and laundry.
H does 75% of dishes (loading/unloading dishwasher).
H does all the yard work, except for maintaining/watering outside plants and running the edger, those are mine.
When we "clean" on weekends, I usually do upstairs (bathroom, put away laundry, vacuum), and H does downstairs (pick up clutter, shred mail, run Roomba, wipe down kitchen surfaces). Then I dust everything.

ETA - we do all shopping together

[Deleted]

Cleaning is not done by us.

Gardening is not done by us.

More often than not, everything else that's left is done by my husband.

[h]

For the most part, kid stuff (daycare drop offs and pickups, bath and bedtime, doctor's appointments, etc.) is pretty 50/50. I do the cooking, grocery shopping, and meal planning. DH does the kitchen clean up and dishes. We share laundry and general picking up, though DH does a little more than I do. He coordinates home and car repairs; I buy the kids' clothes and do the household shopping. The housekeeper cleans the bathrooms, mops the floors, changes the sheets, and does all the other deep cleaning.

[dcrunnergirl]

I'd say 60% me/40% DH.

My extra is b/c I do all the things that require "mental energy." Meal planning, social planning, trip planning, weekend activity planning, scheduling dr and dentist appts, talking to our daycare provider, researching stuff for the kids, buying their clothes, etc.

[hannamaren]

Sept 26, 2012 10:04:07 GMT -5 midwest07 said:

What does he mean that no lawyer would believe that your household was 90/10? I know a lot of households that are basically 100/0.

I am guessing he means that one would think a plaintiff is exaggerating if he/she says that he/she does 90% of the work?

Yes the second sentence.

[marchmom06]

-We outsource cleaning & most yard work

When DH is not traveling, I consider most things to be split fairly evenly. As another poster said, that's over the course of a month or a year, but things vary based on our workload on a daily/weekly basis.

Kid drop off/pick up - 75%me/25%DH
Meal planing & cooking - 90% me/10% DH
Grocery shopping - 90% DH/10% me
Cleaning the house/tidying/laundry - 50% each
Bill paying & finances - 95% me/5% DH
Kid time - 50%/50%
All other organizational tasks (vacation planning, summer camp organizing, kid activities, etc) - 100% me

[egishere]

probably 60/40 here too with me being the 60%.

DH does all the outside stuff and usually the dishes and trash.

I do most of the cooking, laundry and light cleaning (we have a cleaning lady twice a month). But I also do all the meal planning, grocery shopping, dr appt, etc.

[glynn2009]

DH does all the mopping, vaccuming, washing dishes, taking he girls to school, cooking on grill, making snacks, mowing, putting the baby to bed.

I keep thinks pick-up around the house, laundry, cook, meal plan, shopping, bill paying, plan activies and make sure everyone know how they are getting home. Make all vacation plans, doctors appointments, getting everyone a plan for getting to and from activies. Keep up with the older kids and what they need. Talk to all family in planning events.

I keep everyone on track which DH could not do but I pick-up the slack for him when needed.

[Deleted]

DH: sets the trash/recycling out, fills the dishwasher, usually does 1 dinner a week, some laundry, a few other things but not on a regular basis

Me: I do the rest (but I also WFH so I have more time)

[fortmyersbride]

I'm going to go with 70% for me and 30% for DH. But that's of what we actually do, since the nanny does kids' laundry, we have a house cleaner and a lawn guy. I give myself the 70% for doing the kids stuff and errands. He can have his 30% for being the only one who cooks.

Before I went PT I would say it was 40% me / 40% him and 20% shit just not getting done.