If you eloped- what did that look like?

[wanderingback]

My partner and I are thinking about getting legally married (we’ve been together for 9 years). He’s the one who brought up the idea, now that we have our daughter. We’ve both been married before and even if I hadn’t, I still wouldn’t want a "big wedding" at this point.

So anyway, trying to decide if we just want to go to courthouse or have some kind of party at all (my partner especially has a lot of friends so if we did this I think we’d just go all out and invite all our friends for a big party) or even do something "destination" and invite a few friends.

So anyway, curious what others have done who didn’t have the traditional "big wedding."

[TR]

We decided to get married with just our immediate family out in Montana. We had H’s niece officiate so the only stranger there was our photographer. We had 11 guests in total, just my mom & dad, H’s mom& dad, older sister, BIL & 3 niblings, and his younger sister who didn’t have a partner at the time. Then we had dinner at the nice hotel downtown afterward. Aside from the drama of the day with my mom & the hospital, it was a lovely day and I would choose it again in a heartbeat.

We did have friends who threw us parties in Dallas & Charleston later, but we didn’t ask for those and would have been just as happy without them.

[sproctopus]

The immigration lawyer told us it was the only way he could stay here legally so we went straight to town hall, called every JP on the list until we found one at home and went and got married in her living room 🎉🎉

We both went to work after 😂

[Saudade]

My ex-H and I were planning a wedding and decided to cancel it. We got married two weeks later in my parents' back yard with my immediate family and his, but also his main aunts and grandma (total guests: 12). The JOP came to "officiate".

If I were to do it now? I'd just sign the papers and be done. I don't need anything else.

[Roc A Bee]

We eloped in my favorite coastal town. It was just us and DH’s two kids. My bff did the ceremony and her husband did our photos.

We stayed the night before, got up, got ready, walked to a state park and said “I Dos” then we took the group to lunch at a place I made reservations at.

My friend was the real rockstar who surprised me with a bouquet and mini wedding cake.

The next day we had a “housewarming” with 80 people (DH has a huge family) and announced it before dinner. Everyone was shocked but so happy for us. I’d never do it any other way.

[Patsy Baloney]

My elopement plans were a simple courthouse ceremony, then taking us with our witnesses (and most likely immediate family) out to dinner.

We didn’t do it because a larger wedding was important to our parents and we were young, but boy I dream of that day I didn’t have whenever I look at the wedding photo hanging in our living room!

[waverly]

2 of my friends did the courthouse followed by a dinner at a restaurant.

My SIL did a destination wedding with a rural cabin mountain vibe near MD/PA border.

[bears]

Nov 27, 2023 14:35:43 GMT -5 Roc A Bee said:

The next day we had a “housewarming” with 80 people (DH has a huge family) and announced it before dinner. Everyone was shocked but so happy for us. I’d never do it any other way.

I remember you posting about planning a housewarming and thinking that you were planning a big blow out! It sounds like it was such a lovely celebration.

[devonpow]

My BIL and SIL had a small destination wedding in Mexico with just immediate family and very close friends (maybe 15-20 people?). That was in November. Then they threw a big New Year’s Eve party that year for everyone as a way to celebrate. Both occasions were amazingly fun.

[wanderingback]

Nov 27, 2023 14:25:33 GMT -5 sproctopus said:

The immigration lawyer told us it was the only way he could stay here legally so we went straight to town hall, called every JP on the list until we found one at home and went and got married in her living room 🎉🎉

We both went to work after 😂

Lol, love it.
Thankfully he has his green card (at least for the next 8 years!!) so currently no huge rush.

[pandorica]

We eloped in Yosemite! I highly recommend what we did to everyone I know who gets engaged, it was amazing. We got an officiant and a really amazing photographer who pretty much only does Yosemite engagements/elopement. He drove us into the park and we got married at about 8am for the perfect lighting and no crowds, then he drove us around the park and showed us all the great sites and we hopped out for pictures everywhere.

We originally invited a small handful of people but no one was able to make it, which I wasn't sad about. My parents later had a smallish wedding party for both families to celebrate. I wouldn't have done that if I had to pay for it but was happy to have her plan and execute it for us haha

[MDmomof2]

DH and I semi-eloped to Las Vegas. He is from Las Vegas and his parents, grandparents, and sister lived there and came to the wedding. My parents and brother flew out for it. We had dinner and my sister in law made us a cake. My brother later got married at the courthouse with about 10 people in attendance and we went to lunch afterwards. My parents truly eloped - my mom left the house in the middle of the night and she and my Dad went to the next town over and got married. My mom's parents also eloped. I come from a family of elopers so having an actual wedding wasn't going to be our thing!

[penguingrrl]

My sister had a tiny wedding. They were engaged already and had been for a while and decided they didn't want to deal with a huge wedding and planning and money. So they called us and said that in 3 weeks they were getting married, but there or don't. It was great! They had the small, short ceremony in a gazebo in their town and then we all went out to their favorite restaurant afterwards. The only people invited were immediate family plus my mom's sister (who is basically our second parent) and it was completely low key. She and her husband were super happy with it and are very happily married 10 years later!

[sparkythelawyer]

I think if I were going to do it again, and I 100% had my way, I'd find a super fun party dress and amazing shoes, a marryin' sam, and go to the rooftop of somewhere swanky, and just, get married in the middle of happy hour, or dinner reservations, while people are just going about their own little celebrations, like the most amazing secret, then flyout the next morning for like, two weeks on a beach drinking drinks with little umbrellas.

That is not even a little bit practical for my life, my kid, etc. But if I'm daydreaming...

[lilypad1126]

We got married in Vegas. It wasn't an elopement per se, but I also didn't invite anyone. I did, at my mother's request/insistence, send wedding announcements before the wedding, but they by no means invited people to attend, lol.

Still, we had 11 guests (my parents, my great uncle, 2 of my best friends, 2 of my H's friends (one who lived in Vegas at the time), H's brother, and 3 of H's cousins). We then just went to dinner at an off-the-strip restaurant afterwards.

We never even had any sort of party when we returned, lol. That was more b/c we were in the middle of a cross-country move, and our family was/is scattered across the country), but it was still perfect. The perfect mix of elopement and wedding for us.

[somersault72]

DH and I got married on the gulf coast at sunset, just he and I. Not even my kid was there. I think my mom was a little sad SHE wasn't there, but then she and my dad ended up going away for their 40th anniversary during the same time. I have no regrets about the way we did it. It was a second marriage for each of us. My family did have us a little reception a couple of months later which was very nice of them.

[mala]

We went tiny wedding. I think 22ppl total, including us. Immediate fam, grandma, and a handful of our closest friends. Ceremony and apps at my parents place on the water. Patry bus to a Ruth Chris steakhosue. We were supposed to have the patio to ourselves but they had another table out there which pissed me off a little, but wasn't worth getting worked up over. Anyways, elected not to do a fixed menu, so we had to be rather patient with dinner, but we didn't mind. I wanted creme brulee for dessert, so we didn't do a cake. Everyone just got what they wanted. Bus back to the house and done. Low key, so easy. 10/10 would do again.

[brooke77]

We had a small destination wedding in Mexico. We got married on the beach and then had dinner at a restaurant. Just immediate family and a few friends. When we got back home, we had a huge reception. It was really nice and I wouldn’t change a thing (except the groom 🤣)

[just]

How are there no photos here....

[joy]

We married in Bermuda with our parents and siblings. It was 11 people total.

We picked a hotel, they did the rest.

[rosiebear]

I work near the county courthouse, which is right around the corner from our picturesque state capitol, so I see a lot of couples obviously taking wedding photos during the workday.

Most brides are dressed in simple short dresses or suits; grooms in suits or just business casual. I’d say about half the time, maybe less, at least one set of parents are in tow and there are several restaurants in the area where they can have a nice lunch celebration.

I love weddings so these courthouse weddings catch my eye.

Although I didn’t elope, I did have a friend get internet ordained, which is always an option if you want to have the ceremony at your home or in a restaurant or park and you don’t want to book a minister or judge for the occasion.

[Roc A Bee]

Nov 27, 2023 14:47:12 GMT -5 bears said:

Nov 27, 2023 14:35:43 GMT -5 Roc A Bee said:

The next day we had a “housewarming” with 80 people (DH has a huge family) and announced it before dinner. Everyone was shocked but so happy for us. I’d never do it any other way.

I remember you posting about planning a housewarming and thinking that you were planning a big blow out! It sounds like it was such a lovely celebration.

Ha! Yes that was me! I was paranoid posting our plans even here because my IRL friend use to lurk and idk if she still does.

[Roc A Bee]

I also attended the most beautiful wedding this summer. My friend rented a home where the immediate family and closest friends (myself/DH and one other couple) stayed. They had 27 guests total to the wedding and it was the most intimate, special event. Not an elopement but paired down and so great.

[Bad Dingo]

We got married in St. Lucia, just the two of us and it was perfect. No stress or family drama. We had a big party when we got back home, I wore my dress again and we showed our wedding video.

[mildop]

Nov 27, 2023 18:36:44 GMT -5 Roc A Bee said:

I also attended the most beautiful wedding this summer. My friend rented a home where the immediate family and closest friends (myself/DH and one other couple) stayed. They had 27 guests total to the wedding and it was the most intimate, special event. Not an elopement but paired down and so great.

This is what we did but in the Caribbean. It was immediate family and wedding party for the guests, 20 people total.

[tacokick]

We went to the courthouse. No witnesses. It was great. We sent out announcements after the ceremony.

My in-laws wanted to do something for their friends and family so few months later had a catered party their house. They planned it and paid for it.

We basically just showed up and were the guests of honor. It was fine! We got married after being together a year so it was the first time I met a lot of his relatives and it was nice to get it over with all at once. It was basically like having a holiday party but in June.

[nsl]

Ours was very spur-of-the-moment (we were already engaged, but H's med school rotations were wreaking havoc on our wedding planning and we finally got tired of it) so we just reached out to a friend who had recently officiated a weeding for some people we knew, I wore a dress I already owned, and we had some other friends come out as witnesses. There was a cool piece of public art I really liked in the city center, and we spent 10 minutes in front of it (while all the commuters stared) doing the ceremony and taking a few pictures. We took everyone out to dinner afterwards.

I know my parents were disappointed not to be there, and we did wind up having a "wedding" months later that they planned and paid for as a result. Still, absolutely no regrets about doing things our way for the real deal.

[mofongo]

I did not elope, just wanted to say that this is very exciting:)))

[TR]

Using the little one room church we were married in did involve a cattle deal, but you probably wouldn’t have to worry about that lol

[ellipses84]

I did not elope but I had a small destination wedding in Vegas and I’ve thought about it a lot. I know several friends have amazing elopements in Vegas.

In hindsight I wish I’d known about the Wayfarers Chapel near LA and had a little ceremony there because it is so incredibly gorgeous (but small).

I’ve always romanticized getting married at a nice city hall (like NYC or SF) with a really great photographer to take city/ lifestyle/ atrium photos, then meet up with close friends/family at a private room in a restaurant for a meal. I’ve seen a cute video where the guests all do a little parade walking the bride and groom to a park nearby for a group photo (kind of like traditional wedding parades in New Orleans).

My cousin got married in a meaningful spot in the wilderness (tied up her dress to hike there) with a couple witnesses, the officiant and a photographer. Then she had a party in 2 different cities a few months apart to celebrate with family and friends.