Post by karinothing on Dec 5, 2023 11:03:52 GMT -5
We had a house exploded near us last night (well about 10 minutes away, we heard the explosion). A guy had been a standoff with police (he started by firing flair guns out his window) and it ended with the house exploding. It was a duplex and luckily the other family had been evacuated but I feel so bad for them (family with two young kids). Right before Christmas So far it looks like no one was hurt except I guess the guy inside the house, but he is currently unaccounted for.
I have been back from vacation for less than 48 hours and I'm already stressed, lol. I need to stop overscheduling myself! Tonight I have class, tomorrow I'm ushering a play, Thursday I have a massage, and then Friday my friend and her H are arriving mid-day for the weekend. I just feel like I have no time to prepare for having guests, and I am really annoyed that our Christmas decorations aren't out yet - it's already less than 3 weeks until the holiday! There just hasn't been any multiple hour block of time available to do it. I hope to do it a little here and there over the next couple of days during the day, but I have no idea when we're going to put up the tree. Maybe Sunday? It's putting me in a funk because I LOVE the holidays but with skipping Thanksgiving and being gone the entire week after, it really hasn't felt like the season at all yet. I am at least listening to Christmas music while working today.
I am so glad my friends are visiting, but it's really not the best timing with it being the weekend after our vacation. Losing 3 weekends in a row is rough!
scm1011 , we are being asked (forced) to use PTO, but my issue is really with the people bitching that they donât like taking time off vs the people who are saying they already have PTO allotted for other things. They did specify that if the additional PTO requirement was a âhardshipâ we could work it out with our managers, so no one is being forced to go into âPTO debtâ over the policy, but theyâre trying to make people take more time off because I guess the amount of banked time people have been accruing is getting out of control.
Ohhhh, so people are not taking time off and hoarding PTO? Yeah, no sympathy there.
Iâm annoyed with my H. In June we got a letter that his dentist was no longer taking our insurance. I looked on a local board near his office and found recs and then cross referenced them with our insurance. I sent them to him and reminded him that when I needed a new dentist everyone good was an 8 month waiting list for new patients so make an appt soon because he had just had an appt: he replied that his coworker had a dentist he liked. We talked about it about a month later and he said his coworkerâs dentist was not taking his insurance and I again said well you should call those people I sent you because itâs hard to get in. In October he got an email from dentist saying basically âyou can still use us youâll just be out of network.â So he asked me if this meant he could still use his dentist and I said not really bc out of network benefits were substantially less and he always needs work done. And again said youâre going to have a lag in services because you havenât called the new people yet. Lo and behold yesterday was his six month appointment with the old dentist and he went ahead and went anyway and needs two fillings done. Insurance covers at 80% of negotiated rate and out of network only covers at 60% of total cost. Our costs for everything have skyrocketed this year and if anything his income has gone down because he works in sales and it has been a slow year. I cannot believe that he canât get it together when I did all the work for him and he had the nerve to tell me that I should have just done it for him.
It was amazing! I actually have meant to PM you, we went to the restaurant you recommended and it was also amazing! Really good food there and several other places, especially in Cartagena. We just loved the culture there - it was so fun being in a place where people are outside socializing and celebrating so much - so much music and dancing everywhere. And of course it was beautiful. We expected to like Colombia but both said it exceeded our expectations, too.
I am in a funk. I love the holidays and on the surface, everything is fine. There is not a lot going on that I can't handle, yet I still feel blah. For example, we had a holiday brunch with friends this past weekend. We had a great time, good food, played games, etc. After we left, I just felt...sad? There was no reason to feel this way because it was great, so I have no idea why I felt this way. DH and I don't have kids, but the two other couples do (middle schoolers and up) but that has always been the case. Their kids are great but obviously a lot of the conversations revolve around the kids. Both of the other wives are stay at home moms basically, so they have time to make their houses all perfect and cook elaborate meals and I just can't relate because I work full time and that has never really been my forte anyway. I keep my house nice and I make meals, but I just feel like they are on a different level. They just always seem so much more put together. We have been friends for years and years and they are definitely not making me feel this way, but it is something that I'm internalizing.
Sometimes I wish movies were real, and we could do a swap like in The Holiday (really hoping you've seen that). I'm a SAHM and I've been in a funk lately myself (I think I've posted about it a few times here and there). My kids are middle and high school aged. I have a lot of free time technically, but it's oddly spaced, and my dh works insane hours and my kids have a lot of after school commitments and ds requires a lot of supervision still to make sure he gets his schoolwork done and not lie about it. So yeah, I have a nice house, it's decorated nicely, and I'm super involved in my kids' lives, but I'm bored out of my mind a lot of the day and feeling like I'm spending my life as a maid/chauffeur/nag to my family and wasting my own intelligence. I've tried to find hobbies and volunteer opportunities that are meaningful and fulfilling to offset this thinking and fill some of my free hours during the day but every time I think I might have an idea, an obstacle pops up that makes it untenable.
Post by litskispeciality on Dec 5, 2023 11:38:52 GMT -5
karinothing, I'm glad you're ok. I hope your poor neighbors are physically ok, and that they get a lot of help asap. So scary!
If employees truly have a lot of PTO saved up (let's save at least 4 weeks), and they're not disclosing saving it for surgery, FMLA, maybe even a long trip, then yes "having too" take 2 - 3 days off at the EOY when everyone else is off isn't that bad. I'd hate to be the manager listening to the complaints though.
I think I need to get to S. America sometime. My co-worker just went down there, and I'm glad to hear wildrice that you had a good trip. Sounds like there's a lot to do and amazing food
DH's fatal flaw is going out of his way to help others while leaving me flailing in the wind with everything that needs to be done to keep our family's shit together.
Case in point, scouring an email from church requesting hand-me-downs we probably could give if someone bothers to go through the kids outgrown clothes and striking up a conversation about this with me while he's out of town for work.
But at the same time, not bothering to procure a single Christmas gift for anyone this year, or any of the required clothing/shoes for band/choir/ballet performances that are needed by tonight. I was out of town for work all last week and surprising to no one, that has all been left for me to figure out and scramble to get today. Last night I didn't walk in the door from after work until after 9.
I am on the edge of completely losing my mind.
On top of just normal December craziness, I have an enormous project at work that I must focus on and I'm dealing with some health bullshit that has me on and off some meds that are causing me to be extra irritable and weepy. I don't even want to be around myself.
I need to get fasting blood work done before an appt next week and I'm WFH so I thought today would be a good day to do that. I don't have the physical lab order that my dr. gave me two months ago, I do have a pdf on my phone. Which I should have known wouldn't work. Oh no, it needs to be faxed directly from the dr, who didn't answer when I called from the lab, or I need a physical copy.
I just went home, picked a fight over text with DH over the mental load and burst into tears in the car.
Post by litskispeciality on Dec 5, 2023 11:41:03 GMT -5
We're "behind" on holiday decorating...even though it's 5 days in to Dec. I seriously blame the pressure to decorate before Thanksgiving. We have a sh!t show going on right now, but I think DH still wants to decorate...but we won't have time until at least this weekend. I gave him "permission" not to decorate the outside of the house this year since we don't even see it, maybe except a bit of light in the windows.
And my random, do celebrities on podcasts, say the ones where they re-watch the show they're on, get paid to do the podcast, or just the endorsements and commercials if it picks up enough listeners? Brought to you by my Spotify wrap-up, and I need a distraction today.
The Rapture is coming because I have a WYET, frozen vegetables cooked in microwave and then left in there overnight with no lid. đ”âđ« The Internet says No.
What kind of vegetable? Although I'm not really sure that it matters. I'm pretty much sure it's a no.
I am in a funk. I love the holidays and on the surface, everything is fine. There is not a lot going on that I can't handle, yet I still feel blah. For example, we had a holiday brunch with friends this past weekend. We had a great time, good food, played games, etc. After we left, I just felt...sad? There was no reason to feel this way because it was great, so I have no idea why I felt this way. DH and I don't have kids, but the two other couples do (middle schoolers and up) but that has always been the case. Their kids are great but obviously a lot of the conversations revolve around the kids. Both of the other wives are stay at home moms basically, so they have time to make their houses all perfect and cook elaborate meals and I just can't relate because I work full time and that has never really been my forte anyway. I keep my house nice and I make meals, but I just feel like they are on a different level. They just always seem so much more put together. We have been friends for years and years and they are definitely not making me feel this way, but it is something that I'm internalizing.
Sometimes I wish movies were real, and we could do a swap like in The Holiday (really hoping you've seen that). I'm a SAHM and I've been in a funk lately myself (I think I've posted about it a few times here and there). My kids are middle and high school aged. I have a lot of free time technically, but it's oddly spaced, and my dh works insane hours and my kids have a lot of after school commitments and ds requires a lot of supervision still to make sure he gets his schoolwork done and not lie about it. So yeah, I have a nice house, it's decorated nicely, and I'm super involved in my kids' lives, but I'm bored out of my mind a lot of the day and feeling like I'm spending my life as a maid/chauffeur/nag to my family and wasting my own intelligence. I've tried to find hobbies and volunteer opportunities that are meaningful and fulfilling to offset this thinking and fill some of my free hours during the day but every time I think I might have an idea, an obstacle pops up that makes it untenable. Â
I could have written this. I mostly feel like my intelligence is seeping out of my brain and that being a SAHM has made me the most boring person on the planet. I think itâs normal to struggle with your identity through life and I think we all question our choices from time to time. Every time I am ready for a big change something happens that reminds me how much value I provide at home and right now I think it would be impossible to re-enter the work force. So, we carry on. When I get in these funks staying off the internet helps tremendously. Nothing good comes from social media comparisons.
We had a house exploded near us last night (well about 10 minutes away, we heard the explosion). A guy had been a standoff with police (he started by firing flair guns out his window) and it ended with the house exploding. It was a duplex and luckily the other family had been evacuated but I feel so bad for them (family with two young kids). Right before Christmas So far it looks like no one was hurt except I guess the guy inside the house, but he is currently unaccounted for.
This was all over our news this morning, and we aren't local. It looked insane. I'm glad the other family got out, but yeah, that sucks so much for them to have lost their home right before Christmas due to some psycho living next door.
scm1011 , we are being asked (forced) to use PTO, but my issue is really with the people bitching that they donât like taking time off vs the people who are saying they already have PTO allotted for other things. They did specify that if the additional PTO requirement was a âhardshipâ we could work it out with our managers, so no one is being forced to go into âPTO debtâ over the policy, but theyâre trying to make people take more time off because I guess the amount of banked time people have been accruing is getting out of control.
The solution here is to limit the number of days you can carry over from year to year - not force people to take time off when they may not want to.
We had a house exploded near us last night (well about 10 minutes away, we heard the explosion). A guy had been a standoff with police (he started by firing flair guns out his window) and it ended with the house exploding. It was a duplex and luckily the other family had been evacuated but I feel so bad for them (family with two young kids). Right before Christmas So far it looks like no one was hurt except I guess the guy inside the house, but he is currently unaccounted for.
This was all over our news this morning, and we aren't local. It looked insane. I'm glad the other family got out, but yeah, that sucks so much for them to have lost their home right before Christmas due to some psycho living next door.
Right? I feel so bad because I am sure he had been harassing them for a while. He had written posts about how he was convinced they were going to murder him on Dec 7th. And there was essentially nothing they could do.
I really am shocked no one else was hurt seriously. I mean you can see the police driving up right as it explodes.
We had a house exploded near us last night (well about 10 minutes away, we heard the explosion). A guy had been a standoff with police (he started by firing flair guns out his window) and it ended with the house exploding. It was a duplex and luckily the other family had been evacuated but I feel so bad for them (family with two young kids). Right before Christmas So far it looks like no one was hurt except I guess the guy inside the house, but he is currently unaccounted for.
Omg, I heard this reported on my local radio station this morning! How crazy!
Sometimes I wish movies were real, and we could do a swap like in The Holiday (really hoping you've seen that). I'm a SAHM and I've been in a funk lately myself (I think I've posted about it a few times here and there). My kids are middle and high school aged. I have a lot of free time technically, but it's oddly spaced, and my dh works insane hours and my kids have a lot of after school commitments and ds requires a lot of supervision still to make sure he gets his schoolwork done and not lie about it. So yeah, I have a nice house, it's decorated nicely, and I'm super involved in my kids' lives, but I'm bored out of my mind a lot of the day and feeling like I'm spending my life as a maid/chauffeur/nag to my family and wasting my own intelligence. I've tried to find hobbies and volunteer opportunities that are meaningful and fulfilling to offset this thinking and fill some of my free hours during the day but every time I think I might have an idea, an obstacle pops up that makes it untenable. Â
I could have written this. I mostly feel like my intelligence is seeping out of my brain and that being a SAHM has made me the most boring person on the planet. I think itâs normal to struggle with your identity through life and I think we all question our choices from time to time. Every time I am ready for a big change something happens that reminds me how much value I provide at home and right now I think it would be impossible to re-enter the work force. So, we carry on. When I get in these funks staying off the internet helps tremendously. Nothing good comes from social media comparisons.
Same here.
I recently went to a wedding and at the rehearsal dinner was seated at a table full of phd scientists. When they asked what I did for work, and I said Iâm a SAHM and homeschool my kids they all just kind of paused and said, âoh cool.â And then continued to talk about big important science things and whether academia or the corporate world was better. I have never felt so dumb in my life.
I often feel less than when Iâm in social situations even though Iâm generally very happy with my life. I wish social settings involved less talk about what you do for a living and more talk about what you like to do for fun, etc.
My kid had a life lesson in compounding disappointments this morning. First her Elf didn't move last night (she knows it's us haha) then she opened her advent calendar and there was no chocolate there (probably fell down in box) then she had a dentist appointment (which was fine but not something she loves of course) but was cheered because she got to see her cousin who works at the dentist office. Then I take her to school and there were a bunch of kids on the playground (unclear if it was her class) for an extra recess that she missed out on. It's rough being 10 almost 11 for my kid today LOL
We had one last holiday get together that we needed to set a date for and that got set last night. Lots of stuff to do but I like when I have target dates/deadlines. We're hosting 3 holiday parties this year plus kids family b-day party is this Saturday and I'm excited. I like to host so it doesn't seem like too much for me, especially because everyone helps with food. The only part I'm not looking forward to is dealing with my mom at the b-day party and one of the holiday gatherings. If she even shows up for either of them.
The Rapture is coming because I have a WYET, frozen vegetables cooked in microwave and then left in there overnight with no lid. đ”âđ« The Internet says No.
What kind of vegetable? Although I'm not really sure that it matters. I'm pretty much sure it's a no.
đ It's a mix of broccoli, red pepper, 2 types of squash, red onion. Shady Pines, here I come.
donutsmakemegonuts, I feel this was like 40% of my life. Which, when you think about it, is entirely too much to feel down due to internally comparing yourself to others. I wish I had an answer, but I do have commiseration.
mcppalmbeach, this would put me over the fucking edge. Did he seriously ask you why you didn't book it for him??
holly116, I am sorry, I am feeling similarly right now. Just so overwhelmed with not enough help. H goes into crazy work mode (80-100 hours a week) so we regularly do not see him at all for days at a time, everything therefore falls to me.
DS2 went grocery shopping with me this week. He picked up those little pudding cups and put them in our cart. I packed one in my own lunch today and I kinda forgot how tasty they are. I wish I had another, lol.
scm1011 , we are being asked (forced) to use PTO, but my issue is really with the people bitching that they donât like taking time off vs the people who are saying they already have PTO allotted for other things. They did specify that if the additional PTO requirement was a âhardshipâ we could work it out with our managers, so no one is being forced to go into âPTO debtâ over the policy, but theyâre trying to make people take more time off because I guess the amount of banked time people have been accruing is getting out of control.
Do you guys not have a max amount that people can bank at one time? We do at our company. If you're at the max and don't start taking PTO you don't accrue any more time until you go below the max.
On a semi related note, my boss (who I'm pretty sure doesn't like me) just told me that starting next year we're not allowed to take time off if we don't have enough PTO to cover it. I guess I don't really understand this policy. I'm hourly so if I don't have the PTO I go unpaid so the company is saving money and I'm still getting the time off. This feels like a win/win to me.
Thereâs a head cold going around my office and my boss very generously gave it to me. Boo hoo hoo.
I hate colds. My mouth is so dry. Iâll never neglect you again, nose. Youâre the real MVP of breathing.
I feel allll of this. I'm on day 4 of the head cold from hell. At least last night I was able to breathe out of my nose for the first time in three days? Hope you feel better!
scm1011 , we are being asked (forced) to use PTO, but my issue is really with the people bitching that they donât like taking time off vs the people who are saying they already have PTO allotted for other things. They did specify that if the additional PTO requirement was a âhardshipâ we could work it out with our managers, so no one is being forced to go into âPTO debtâ over the policy, but theyâre trying to make people take more time off because I guess the amount of banked time people have been accruing is getting out of control.
Do you guys not have a max amount that people can bank at one time? We do at our company. If you're at the max and don't start taking PTO you don't accrue any more time until you go below the max.
We have a max you can roll over per year, but not a max amount you can bank overall. So with a company where some people roll over the max every year and often times stay for 10+ years, some people have a giant bank of hours, which then has an effect on the balance sheet. They may get to a point where they limit the bank you can have, but who knows if/when that would happen. This is a giant company, so major policy changes like that tend to take a long time to approve.
Does anyone else just feel uterlly useless on a therapy day? Like can not get anything productive done for the entire day except therapy kind of useless. Please tell me I'm not the only one.