I'd give 2 dates. See where things go for your H's sake but not put much more than a breezy effort at it. Also suggest he hang out with Craig 1 on 1 if he wants to.
I’d suck it up and go so MH could start to re-establish a relationship with his best friend. Then I’d encourage him to make dates for just the two of them.
As the only couple from our pre-kids group to have kids, I can tell you that navigating the early years was super tough. My friends didn’t understand and had expectations that were overwhelming at times. I pulled back, as did MH. I know that his side blamed me for being controlling and he didn’t correct the narrative because he was slightly oblivious for a long time (thought I was reading into things).
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
I don’t believe that Lauren is unaware that she hasn’t spoken to you in a year, missed your birthday, and knows you four are awkward. I’m not buying her “I’m so breezy” invitation. Lauren’s got issues. If it was simply being a busy newish mom, she would be a hella lot warmer & more apologetic.
I do think Lauren very much wants the narrative to be that’s she IS breezy and made a huge effort with you and you never responded. It’s the same playbook as the child’s birthday party. She gets to make you the bad guy. Just like the host, too.
I really detest people who bring unwanted food to my parties.
I would probably call her bluff with an invitation to dinner or something else we were already doing. That may make me immature. But I doubt she’d follow through anyway. Something is off with her.
I do think Lauren very much wants the narrative to be that’s she IS breezy and made a huge effort with you and you never responded. It’s the same playbook as the child’s birthday party. She gets to make you the bad guy. Just like the host, too.
This is probably the main reason why I wouldn't "not reply" at all. Your DH is friends with Craig, I wouldn't want to do anything to affect that.
We've got weirdness in our neighborhood with some of the wives. At this point, I'm 'hanging on' for the sake of my son and his friendship with their kids. Once he's done/ moved away, then I'm moving on past these women. I dont' have time in my life for people who aren't genuine!
Since I like to make stories up with very little information- this is what I think went down.
This is assuming there was something nefarious with the lost bday invite on her part. They got into a big blow up fight over the holidays. He accused her of never wanting to hang out with his people and making no effort. She vowed to do better and has now reached out. She might just be doing it for show. You just have to see if she really means it, which means you just leave that ball in her court to drive this meet-up.
Obviously you need to keep us updated now.We are invested.
I think I'd agree to meet them for dinner (at a restaurant so you can leave when you want and they have to make the reservation) and see what they have to say. They haven't been good friends to you in a long time; I would need acknowledgement of that and an actual apology to want to continue a couples friendship. Otherwise I'd let it go. Your H can meet up with Craig 1:1 if he wants to.
I'm trying to imagine what I'd do if this happened with my longest friendship, and I think I'd probably give it another chance. I do think friendships can ebb and flow over time and sometimes get away from us.
At the same time, I've had friends cut me out before and then come back later and apologize, and while I have nothing but good wishes for them now, I was never interested in a true friendship again because I didn't trust them anymore.
I think I'd reply as some others have suggested and see about getting together. And I'd have zero expectations going in. See how things go, and if they go poorly hopefully that will be the end of it for everyone.
So - she replied over 24 hours ago and no follow up, and it's Thursday night? Huh.
Everyone is different, but if I text someone saying "let's get together in the next couple weeks" and they replied as you did, I would already know my schedule but allowing for a check in with DH, I would have texted back last night with a date and time.
So - I'm skeptical of their desire to actually get together.
If they're struggling with communication, you're probably going to have to prompt her again if you actually want to. I bet real money she will get busy and forget again.
Being friends with other adults when you have kids is hard.
Oh. With your update, I think she's one of those people that says "we should get together!" as a pleasantry but doesn't literally mean it. I have a college friend like this-- it took me a while to figure out it was basically just a verbal tic.
Lauren has no intention of actually getting together, she just thinks that something she's supposed to say when reaching out.
If they're struggling with communication, you're probably going to have to prompt her again if you actually want to. I bet real money she will get busy and forget again.
Being friends with other adults when you have kids is hard.
There's no need on my end! I'll not be prompting this again.
They hang out with other people, so I don't think it's a struggle to maintain friendships while having young kids.
If they're struggling with communication, you're probably going to have to prompt her again if you actually want to. I bet real money she will get busy and forget again.
Being friends with other adults when you have kids is hard.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
I’m guessing that Craig wants to rekindle his friendship with your H and Lauren is just going along with it. She sounds exhausting and not a very good friend. I’d leave it up to the guys to plan something and not make a huge effort with Lauren. Maybe the guys can just be friends. I’m curious if either of them will text you back to actually pick a date/time/place to get together.
I don't really want to defend Lauren, because she sounds like a lot of drama and it doesn't seem like you really want to be friends with her. But I will add that it does sometimes legitimately take until a weekend for my partner and I to be able to discuss things like upcoming plans with a toddler and two busy full time jobs. But it sounds like you got what you wanted out of the exchange, which is to put the onus on them/your H to set up a concrete time to hang out and go from there. So just wait now!
If they're struggling with communication, you're probably going to have to prompt her again if you actually want to. I bet real money she will get busy and forget again.
Being friends with other adults when you have kids is hard.
There's no need on my end! I'll not be prompting this again.
They hang out with other people, so I don't think it's a struggle to maintain friendships while having young kids.
You don't sound like you WANT to so my comment is probably moot. If you don't WANT to then your response to her was strange. If you WANT to, they sound like they have poor communication skills. I've had this same scenario with trying to get together and life just keeps getting in the way. I find getting together with friends as a working parent with life shit to be very difficult.
But at the end of the day, it's whether you want or not.
Oh. With your update, I think she's one of those people that says "we should get together!" as a pleasantry but doesn't literally mean it. I have a college friend like this-- it took me a while to figure out it was basically just a verbal tic.
Lauren has no intention of actually getting together, she just thinks that something she's supposed to say when reaching out.
There's no need on my end! I'll not be prompting this again.
They hang out with other people, so I don't think it's a struggle to maintain friendships while having young kids.
You don't sound like you WANT to so my comment is probably moot. If you don't WANT to then your response to her was strange. If you WANT to, they sound like they have poor communication skills. I've had this same scenario with trying to get together and life just keeps getting in the way. I find getting together with friends as a working parent with life shit to be very difficult.
But at the end of the day, it's whether you want or not.
Why are you trying to make this OPs problem? These people do not historically have a history of bad communication! The onus is not on OP! Life, in general, gets in the way for people with and without children. These people have acted strangely, accused OP and H of something ridiculous, if they want a chance at rekindling it’s up to them.
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus
Ok douche, go ahead and call it mud. My husband DID have halitosis. We addressed it after I talked to you girls on here and guess what? Years later, no problem. Mofongo, you're a cunt. Eat shit. ~anonnamus