We are looking at going on a spring break trip where we'd need to stay in a couple different hotels. Kids will be just turned 15 (girl), 13 (boy), 11 (girl), 9 (girl). Often if we have a suite for 6 it has something like 2 queen beds and a king. If this is the case, do you think it's still okay for the 13 yo boy to share a bed with one of his sisters??? I have zero concerns about anything innappropriate happening but...is it weird at this point for him to share the bed? (My mom says weird). If the kids don't share, it's a little awkward b/c either someone has to sleep on a couch/pullout or an an airbed or something...or DH and I could split up into a "girls' room" and "boys' room" but that's not really ideal.
WWYD? I don't really know that there are a ton of options. Maybe other people with 4 or more kids have ideas??
How do the kids feel about it? You mention what your mom thinks, but not what the actual people involved think, which seems way more important.
Bedroom logistics are a big piece of why we do VRBOs/etc. rather than hotels most of the time. Whether it's teens or babies, often families are more comfortable with more sleeping spaces. We're doing hotels for part of our upcoming trip to Costa Rica, and my kids will share a king or a queen some nights, but they're 8 and 4 and actually super excited about it. Unless they could finagle to share with mom instead, which would be the real win to them, lol.
I don't think it's weird but would understand if he doesn't want to. We have 4 kids too (much younger though) and we usually have two of the boys share a bed, and DH shares with another boy and I share with my daughter. Mostly because DD prefers sleeping with me. It's only a night or two and not a big deal
I don't think it's weird but would understand if he doesn't want to. We have 4 kids too (much younger though) and we usually have two of the boys share a bed, and DH shares with another boy and I share with my daughter. Mostly because DD prefers sleeping with me. It's only a night or two and not a big deal
ETA: we also have a few air mattresses that we bring if needed and the kids take turns using them
Post by countthestars on Jan 11, 2024 23:22:47 GMT -5
I think you should ask him. We only have two kids, but we often get a rollaway bed just for more space to spread out. I don't know why sleeping on an air mattress or something else would be awkward?
I have a 13 yr old boy and an 11 yr old girl, and they haven’t wanted to share a bed for a while. I sleep w/ my daughter and my husband and son share the other bed.
My kids don't seem to care yet. I just didn't know if that was strange. Maybe b/c they all have to share one small room at our cottage (but not share beds).
We are flying and renting a car, so I could maybe buy a cheap airbed at Walmart or wherever and ditch it at the end of the trip. Maybe they could rotate sleeping on it. Or maybe they could just make the "pillow wall" or whatever for more privacy if they need it!
I have to make the actual itinerary, so maybe we could do a VRBO or similar. But it's kind of a road trip, so more likely we'd do a couple nights here, couple there, it won't be super warm, and we all love having an indoor pool, free breakfast, etc at a hotel.
I don’t think it’s weird, for a night here or there. We have one girl and 3 boys. The oldest two are an 11-year-old girl and almost 10-year-old boy. They share often on vacations I imagine will continue to do so. They fight with each other less than if we put either one with a younger brother.
We’re staying in a rental house this summer with a family group of 12 people total. The house has 6 bedrooms, four queens and two fulls. That’s so atypical for a vacation rental - usually there are a couple singles or a set of bunk beds or something. So we’re going to rent two twin rollaway beds when we rent a pack n play for my youngest. While the house has enough beds for us, we don’t know that any two kids will do well sharing a full size bed.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 12, 2024 7:24:42 GMT -5
My kids are 14 and 12, and they much prefer to have a pull-out couch as an option and have one of them sleep on that (we often say that usually they will split it half and half, but then ds starts on it because he's older, and he can sleep on pretty much anything and then when it's time to switch he usually says he'd rather just keep logistics the same). And we just booked a VRBO for spring break, and I picked one that had less nice living room furniture than another unit in the same complex (they were the only 2 available) because the nicer one had a king in the master and a queen in the guest bedroom with no mention of a pull out, but the one we booked has 2 twins in the guest bedroom. So we are willing to sacrifice SOME other comforts so that the kids don't have to share a bed. But if them sharing a bed was really the only option and it was not book something at all or them share, they'd share and it'd be fine. However, I do think the last time we tried to have them share, they started fighting and kicking each other and it was awful, so we did end up sleeping me with dd and ds with dh.
I don’t think it’s weird for siblings to share a bed at any age. I actually find it odd to make this a “thing”.
And as such, i wouldn’t even bring it up until they do - IF they ever do! If a family of 6 sharing 3 beds is their “norm”, they may not think about it past that and I wouldn’t add to it.
Post by dcrunnergirl52 on Jan 12, 2024 8:09:50 GMT -5
If they don't mind, I think it's fine. I have 13-year old boy/girl twins, and they haven't shared a bed in a while. DD doesn't want to, and honestly though, I don't blame her b/c sleeping with DS1 is like sleeping with your own personal tornado.
I have a 13 yr old boy and an 11 yr old girl, and they haven’t wanted to share a bed for a while. I sleep w/ my daughter and my husband and son share the other bed.
This is us exactly. It's hardest on DH and I because DS constantly moves when he sleeps and DD is a bed hog. Edit to say: This is not because of the boy/girl thing. It's because the kids don't get along and if they sleep together it will be a full night of "Stop touching me!" and those types of things.
I don't think it's weird, but definitely check with the kids to see what they prefer. I have one brother and around early teens is when we stopped sharing beds and just got a cot for me. I have two daughters (5 and 7) and we split them up and each parent sleeps with a kid. Otherwise it's a disaster of them fighting all night. So maybe another option is your son shares a bed with your H?
DS is 13 and DD is 10 and they are definitely anti bed sharing for the last 2-3 years or so. H or I sleep with DD, DS sleeps with H, or by himself on a couch or whatnot.
Post by puppylove64 on Jan 12, 2024 9:46:43 GMT -5
My 11 and 9 year old sons don’t like to share beds. I say rent what you can or what you can afford, whatever works and they figure out the bedding situation. When I was a kid, I slept on the floor. It is up to them to work it out. When they start paying, they get first dibs on beds 😂
I guess I’m the odd one out in that I do find it a bit weird for opposite gender siblings to share a bed after puberty. It just feels weird to me. We only have three kids, but oftentimes if we are in a place with only 2 beds my girls share one (although they also generally prefer not to share) and my DS sleeps on the floor on a camping pad with a small sleeping bag.
And actually since my older two turned 16 and 13 we just get two hotel rooms most of the time and the girls get one and DH, I, and DS get the other. Or a suite with two bedrooms and a pull out couch at something like an extended stay.
That’s all only if we must stay in a hotel. Usually we prefer houses or apartments where everyone has their own bed and there are 2 bathrooms (DD1 and DH cannot share a bathroom it creates conflict, hence why we usually get two hotel rooms anymore).
ETA: I’m actually surprised you are able to find hotels that allow six in a room. I have a very hard time finding rooms that allow 5 for the most part. I’m surprised you haven’t needed to get two rooms already.
I'd ask the kids before you go, and if they're fine with it, it's fine for them to share a bed. There are plenty of families where siblings of different genders share rooms or beds at home due to space restrictions, so I don't think it's inherently weird. If you and your kids are fine with it, I wouldn't worry about what your mom or anyone else thinks.
I don’t think it’s weird for siblings to share a bed at any age. I actually find it odd to make this a “thing”.
And as such, i wouldn’t even bring it up until they do - IF they ever do! If a family of 6 sharing 3 beds is their “norm”, they may not think about it past that and I wouldn’t add to it.
This. I'm surprise so many think it's such a big deal. They're siblings. They can share a bed.
Post by longtimenopost on Jan 12, 2024 12:14:27 GMT -5
My family of origin was myself, brother, mom, dad. I shared a bed with my mom for as long as I can remember in a 2-double or queen room. Rather than just gender, I think we considered size? Like we're a big/tall family and it was tight for my parents to share a double or queen lol, so they shared with a child. I'd pair your husband and DS, you and your youngest, and the two older sisters together. Or you pair with whichever daughter would have the hardest time settling down and sleeping with one of the others.
I don’t think it’s weird for siblings to share a bed at any age. I actually find it odd to make this a “thing”.
And as such, i wouldn’t even bring it up until they do - IF they ever do! If a family of 6 sharing 3 beds is their “norm”, they may not think about it past that and I wouldn’t add to it.
Exactly. I even have shared a bed with my dad somewhat recently. For many families this is very normal and I don’t think it needs to be made in to something odd unless a person involved specifically says they don’t want to do it.
I don’t think it’s weird for siblings to share a bed at any age. I actually find it odd to make this a “thing”.
And as such, i wouldn’t even bring it up until they do - IF they ever do! If a family of 6 sharing 3 beds is their “norm”, they may not think about it past that and I wouldn’t add to it.
Exactly. I even have shared a bed with my dad somewhat recently. For many families this is very normal and I don’t think it needs to be made in to something odd unless a person involved specifically says they don’t want to do it.
We have three kids, 2 boys (12 & 8) and girl (4). Usually it’s me and my daughter, my husband and the 8 year old and the oldest on his own - bed, pullout or floor. Our boys would probably fight if they had to share and my oldest does acrobatics in his sleep that nobody could sleep next to him. My daughter ends up in bed next to me most days anyway….also she will fall asleep quickly and we can all go back to lights on full noise and she won’t wake up.
On our latest trip we got two adjoining rooms each with double beds. Oldest and DH in one room. Middle and me + daughter in the other. Everyone had their own bed and daughter and I shared a bed.
Post by wanderingback on Jan 12, 2024 18:13:43 GMT -5
I don’t know if this is the right emotion but it’s kind of sad to me that family members sharing beds is weird to some people.
Not exactly the same cause I’m an only child but I used to travel with my (male) cousin and we used to share a bed and I loved the times we got to travel together.
Post by rootbeerfloat on Jan 12, 2024 20:56:38 GMT -5
My kids (17 yo boy, 14 yo girl) won't share a bed, though they did when they were younger (or they would share with us). I look for rooms without a pullout couch or preferably a suite if we can afford it. DD has issues and prefers sleeping on a couch anyway. We've also taken an air mattress on local staycations, but don't do very many of those.
Post by wanderingback on Jan 12, 2024 22:02:02 GMT -5
Sorry 1 more thing haha.
If 1 of my family members was judging or saying this is weird I would happily ask them if they want to give me extra money for a hotel or bigger apartment (I know families where kids share beds cause they live in small living quarters).
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jan 13, 2024 9:13:04 GMT -5
We are in this situation with a 16 boy and 13 girl. We get a bigger room if we can but sometimes it's just not possible. We pay them 20$ a night to share the bed without complaining. It has worked great. They get spending money on the trip. And their only complaint about sharing the bed is just that their sibling is an annoying punk and they don't want to.... So for 20$ they are willing to suck it up and we don't have to pay 200$ for another room. When they are falling asleep and one of them is complaining that the other is stealing the covers or whatever we just say "do you want your 20 bucks or not?" And they grumble and work it out because money talks lol.
That said we are fast approaching a time when we don't have a choice and have to just get the second room. Not sure when exactly that will be- maybe when DS turns 18. I guess I shouldn't phrase it as don't have a choice... We will probably choose to get a second room at some point.
How do the kids feel about it? You mention what your mom thinks, but not what the actual people involved think, which seems way more important.
Bedroom logistics are a big piece of why we do VRBOs/etc. rather than hotels most of the time. Whether it's teens or babies, often families are more comfortable with more sleeping spaces. We're doing hotels for part of our upcoming trip to Costa Rica, and my kids will share a king or a queen some nights, but they're 8 and 4 and actually super excited about it. Unless they could finagle to share with mom instead, which would be the real win to them, lol.
1000000% this. Nothing sounds worse than being on vacation and having to share a hotel room with my 6 year old, lol. Once he goes to bed I want to watch tv, play games, have a cocktail...not sit in the dark silently.