Post by mysteriouswife on Feb 9, 2024 1:20:03 GMT -5
We are both from this area. He was born and raised in Nashville. I was outside of the metro area. A friend introduced us while I was in HS.
His job relocated us to Atlanta for 7 years. We moved back by chance around 6 years ago. He got a random call from his current employer looking for someone with his skill set. Oddly, he was days away from being laid off due to his company filing bankruptcy. He skirted the lay off by 4 days.
Ironically, my mom passed away shortly after we moved back. It started a long 2 years for us. I still like to think it was the universe telling us this is where we needed to be. I was able to spend a solid 6 months with my mom, help my aunt peacefully transition to hospice, watch GMIL become terminal with cancer, and other things that I would have been devastated to not be here for. Sure, it was tragic but I was able to help my family in the difficult times
We are here mainly because it's where my parents now live. When we moved back from London, it was easier to just move in with them, and then I got a job here so we've stayed. It's a very nice place, and there are a ton of outdoor activities we can do, but honestly I'd move elsewhere in Canada if I felt like I could leave my parents. They're in good health now but are getting older and I feel compelled to stay. The cost of living is horribly high. We have virtually no disposable income. The city is a sleepy government city with nothing open past 8pm. It's a beautiful part of the country but the cost of living here depresses me.
Genuine question - where would you go?
H and I toss around ideas because we both have wandering spirits, but we get caught up in job opportunities/salaries vs. cost of living. We have no family where we are and no reason to stay expect we like BC (women's healthcare is a huge plus), we love our proximity to mountains and ocean, and our jobs are tolerable because of the salaries. I don't want to move somewhere more conservative and I don't want to make less money even in a cheaper COL.
We fantasize about stupid moves, like going back to the states because my aunt and uncle are selling 40 acres for $250k and who doesn't want a pond, a creek, a nearly mature Christmas tree farm, and no neighbours (hello Hallmark movie).
Honestly, I'd move to Québec in a heartbeat. I speak French, H does not, but I don't think that would matter because he works remotely and doesn't really care about making friends (he has zero friends here). I work in public service and the BC provincial salaries are crap compared to municipal salaries or other provinces' salaries. I'm sure I could make as much elsewhere and then maybe even have a whole house for what we paid for our condo. Sometimes I fantasize about moving to a small town in the interior, but I'm not sure it's all that much cheaper. Very of occasionally I think about moving to Calgary, because I have friends and family there and I know the city well. But then I remember what a hot mess Alberta is and also how much I hate the dry air.
I have moved multiple times since university (Northern NJ twice, DC area, Boston area, PA twice) and all of them were for jobs. I moved to London for a job in 2004. We remain here because it's a great place to live if you have a decent job. We live in our part of London because I can walk to a lot of places, such as grocery, small specialist shops, pubs, restaurants, etc. If I was able to work from home, I'd rarely use any sort of transportation outside of my legs.
I moved to MA in my 20s. Closer to Boston. I just always loved Boston so when I was old enough I came. H grew up about 15 minutes from where we live now (about 30 mins outside of Boston).
Post by Velar Fricative on Feb 9, 2024 5:53:36 GMT -5
We both grew up in the NYC suburbs (different parts), and now live in NYC. We live in our specific borough because this is where DH got a job over 20 years ago, and then I moved in with him shortly after and now work in the same borough too.
Neither of us has any desire to leave this metro area because our families are here and we liked growing up in this area. There’s also no shortage of jobs, and we were lucky to buy our house when we did so moving would really cost us in the long run. I like raising my kids in NYC because people here come from all walks of life, and the lifestyle you live here can be whatever you want it to be without anyone else caring. That’s basically why I wanted out of the suburbs when I was younger.
I was born and raised in Toronto. I spent my whole life there. Then when I wanted to do my MBA, I wanted to live abroad so my H suggested the Netherlands. I applied and on our layover for our honeymoon, I spent 10 hours in Amsterdam to see if I’d like it. First and only time I ever visited. 🤣 I did like it. We moved 9 months later for 1-2 yrs. It’s been 5.5 years now and we live in a city outside of Amsterdam. We’re likely going to apply for our permanent residency and then look at moving to another european city. Eventually we want to go back to Ontario but it is soooo expensive for a house. 🥲🥲 our interest rate is 1.34% on our house and we have that until 2031.
I was born and raised in Florida. My H had lived there on and off. We had been planning to move after we got married 2/29/20, but then the pandemic happened and everything was up in the air. Memorial Day weekend 2020 we were discussing, what are we gonna dooooo because we desperately wanted to leave Florida. So we made a list of all the states and one by one crossed off the states either of us objected to, for any reason at all. We narrowed it down to New England, and ultimately Maine. I started stalking listings and we ended up in a town we’d never heard of and it was the best (luckiest) thing ever.
We are both from this general area but we live in the specific area where H was raised. At the time we moved here it was a better commute for both of our jobs. In general it’s a more sprawling, suburban area than where I grew up (which was suffering a good deal of blight when we first settled).
For all intents and purposes it’s the same though, as it relates to that post in MMM. It’s less diverse here and there is a lot more “new money” out here which attracts a certain type of parenting style.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Feb 9, 2024 7:13:03 GMT -5
We live in the area dh and I both grew up. We moved away (and moved several times) when dh was in the military, but when he finished his requirement, we moved back to be near family that is still in the area. Our kids were little when we moved back so we really wanted family support. Neither of us would have picked this area if family wasn't here.
We came back to IA after having kids to be close to family.
Our specific town we chose for jobs and just the general vibe of the town
It has been rough politically for 8 years here. We stay because we love our community. Our kids are well established and thriving in their school communities. We love where we live.
Post by blondemoment123 on Feb 9, 2024 7:26:08 GMT -5
My dad retired from the military in a nearby town when I was a senior in high school. They moved to our current town when I was in college. In that timeframe I met my H who also in the military. We all just stayed here after I graduated college.
MH and I met in college and had bounced between our two home states for the entirety of our relationship. We decided we wanted to leave our city when my oldest was in 7th grade. We set a one year clock for ourselves because we wanted her to start and finish high school in the same place. Lack of diversity and big city amenities were our primary complaints; the lack of diversity had led to a LOT of issues for our kids in school. I started interviewing in other cities with the idea that a job relocation would be the most affordable way to have a big move.
We were originally planning to stay in the Southeast, but I wound up interviewing for a job in Houston. TX had never, ever been on our radars. I was so pleasantly surprised at how much we liked the city though and it really did tick all our boxes. I turned down the job- but we moved here anyway. It's definitely the biggest risk I have ever taken and, five years later, I'm so glad we did it.
MH's parents and his sister followed up a few years later so we now have family here. I don't like Texas politics and summers are quite miserable. But I really love our lives here. My kids are absolutely thriving. The diversity here is amazing. Our house and overall COL are both crazy affordable compared to almost any big city. I don't anticipate leaving until our kids are out of school, at a minimum.
The Army told us to. H is going to retire in the next couple of years and we can literally pick anywhere in the US to live and we have no idea where we will go. It is exciting and stressful.
DH and I moved here (northern VA/DC area) for my job when we graduated from college, but we also knew he was extremely likely to find a job there too. He did, and we're both still working at the same organization.
We've idly speculated about moving somewhere else, but there's really nowhere else we'd both be able to do what we currently do without taking big steps back in our careers. Plus my parents moved here a couple years after we did for my dad's job, and with all of DH's work travel staying near them is a plus for me, and I'd like to be nearby as they age. AND, DH's parents and his sister and her family have all moved to within a two hour drive of us in the last couple of years, so we're probably not going anywhere any time soon.
I didn't respond because I have several reasons. I grew up in upstate NY (Capital District, to be specific), then spent nearly 30 years in Colorado. I still love Colorado, but I grew to miss being near water and near my family, so I moved back about 9 years ago. As an added plus, and part of the reason to move, I was able to buy a much nicer house than I could have gotten in CO.
There were multiple reasons - it is a nice area to live in (and is MCOL), has good schools, and is one of the few suburbs/suburban towns in my metro area which actually has a nice little downtown area with shops and restaurants. DH actually did not want to live here because he grew up here (and he still feels that way after 13 years...sorry, DH), but gave in to my request. He has family from his mom's side close by, and my parents are 45 minutes away. We can get to the downtown area of the metro city in about 20 minutes. Most places we might want to go in the metro area (e.g., Costco, the mall, doctor offices, etc.) are within about 30 minutes of our house. Our metro area is around 1M in population, and the metro city has various industries and there are good job opportunities.
If DH had his way, we'd move to East Tennessee - he likes the Great Smoky Mountains area. Likely we will at least buy a condo there when we retire, and then see where our kids end up. It would be nice to be in a place with milder winters (we are in MI).
Post by dancingirl21 on Feb 9, 2024 8:14:01 GMT -5
We live where DH grew up in a suburb of Chicago. I grew up in a tiny Wisconsin town and knew I wanted something bigger. After college I got a job in Chicago and moved to DH. We had only been dating for 4 months, so it was a leap of faith. DH needed to be in a large city for his job and it made sense to be near his family. I don’t see us leaving. We love the school where our kids are at, I like our town, having DH’s family really close is great and most of my family is 4 hours away.
I grew up here but my H and I met and lived in South Florida when we decided to move here. He got a job offer and the cost of living was so different from where we were; it was exciting to think we could buy a huge house for the same amount as a one-bedroom condo. We really didn't intend to stay all that long but my H actually really likes the midwest, we had my son and my parents started to need me so 13 years later, here we still are. I had thought we'd leave once DH is in college but now my mom is widowed and we may need to move my ILs here. I'd love to be a million other places but it may never happen.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Feb 9, 2024 8:23:50 GMT -5
We got jobs here after college. Then we moved away for 5 years and missed it and moved back.
There weren't many jobs where I'm from and H is from an area that I have zero interest in living in plus I have zero interest in living near my in laws. He would move back but knows I wouldn't.
We'll likely follow our kids if they settle somewhere else as adults though. I like where we live but I'm not tied to it forever.
For the snow in MN. I’m kidding. This is my home state even though I’ve lived in other states as well. I don’t want to live anywhere hot and we have a lot to do in the Msp/St Paul area. I had read the post on MMM and I think the poster will find her problems anywhere. The suburb I live in is not like that but the adjacent town is much wealthier and it’s very much like what she described.
We grew up about 45 minutes south of where we live now, so it’s far enough away that we’re not living in our home town, but still near by. My H went to college here. We stay for jobs and because the cost of living is dirt cheap.
I could not imagine staying in one place for an extended period of time. This is the longest I've lived anywhere (10 years) , and although I'm itching to move, I'm sure this is it for us.
Post by followyourarrow on Feb 9, 2024 8:36:59 GMT -5
I moved to the general area because my sister and her family are here. I chose my specific town because that's where I could get a job. I'm an hour and a half from my sister, which is much better than the 12 hours I was! My mom plans to retire somewhere down here in the nearish future. I met FI here and he grew up here. I don't know if I'll stay in South Louisiana forever, but I like it here and have no plans to move any time soon.
I grew up in the burbs and my DH came here for college. We moved together to NYC for a while but then returned because it was a more affordable place to buy and because we both have a solid network of friends here. I'd really like to move to Europe for a stint (3 out of 4 of us have EU passports and DH can get a spousal visa fairly easily), but DH hasn't bought in. I do love where I live though so I'm content to stay.
Post by sarapocalypse on Feb 9, 2024 8:41:14 GMT -5
We live in North Carolina and I wanted to live here for as long as I can remember. I grew up in Maryland but spent a lot of time visiting family in South Carolina, which meant traveling through North Carolina a lot. It always seemed like a nice place with a variety of things to do. I decided to go to college in North Carolina and loved it as much as I thought I would. I moved back to Maryland after school and got married but after a couple years, we moved back down to North Carolina not too far from where I went to college. We love it and have no plans to move unless we decide to move closer to family for some reason (everyone is about 4 hours from us in different directions).
I moved here to be near a sibling that went to school here. I was tired of my city. I met H here, he went to grad school here.
I’ve been here 20+ years but H is currently discerning if he wants to move up to the top level job in his field. He’s one level down basically. Moving up to a top level job will require a relocation within the state. I’ve told him I’m game. I do wonder what that would really be like though. We would only be able to make it work if I could stay remote at my current job, which is very likely.
I love reading these; some of you have fun, romantic stories!
H and I both grew up in this general area. In HS I said I would never live here and wanted to go explore the world. We moved to CA after college but came back to this area (VT/NH) 14 years ago to be closer to family. We have moved around this region mostly staying in VT since then, but in 2019 moved to NH to be closer to H's job and no longer pay income taxes (ha! that was a wash as our property taxes are so high now, lol)
I LOVE the town we live in; we are fortunate to live in the largest town in our region (able to get delivery/2 minutes to a target/more diverse population) but still have a few acres and the perks of that (we have our own swim hole). My drive to work is 10 minutes now, compared to 30 before. It takes just minutes to get to essentially everything we need. We are close to my mom and usually my in laws as well. We have built an incredible network of friends and support here and are starting to get involved in local politics. It is nice to be in a great community like this and while I am open to moving when we retire, I would like to stay in our town until our son is done with HS.
We moved away when we first got married long enough for DH to get experience in his field and moved back to the metro area we grew up (MN)...both about 45 minutes from where we grew up. It's all we really know, most of our relatives are here. My parents always say they are going to move away in retirement and I think the economy will prevent them from doing so. We have a great quality of life, low traffic, good public schools, jobs, healthy economy. I don't feel like I fit in the suburb we live in, but it's all we can afford. It feels like there's a lot of nepotism and it's a tad too small for my liking, but I love the house we bought. I do hope my kids move away in a way that I never could do, I want that for them.
Post by emilyinchile on Feb 9, 2024 9:11:14 GMT -5
I voted because FI grew up here, but I came here originally on study abroad, met my ex and came back to be with him. By the time we split up I had my life established here. We generally enjoy our lifestyle - close to everything in the city but with a neighborhood feel - and are close to my ILs who are great and very involved with L.