I came to the area almost 20 years ago for grad school. H grew up here and had come back after college; I met him a few months after I moved here. We lived in the city for a long time but moved to his hometown area 4 years ago, about 20 miles outside of the city.
Most people in town either grew up here or have a spouse who did - it's one of those places where people choose to come back to to raise their families. It's rare to meet someone in town who has no connection here.
Why I agreed to it/enjoy it - it's a relaxed beach town, it's stunningly beautiful, it's historic, there's a ton of town pride and activities, we live on the ocean, it's a place where people tend to stay for generations and there's a real sense of connection between the residents.
We live in the area we grew up in. Talked about moving a lot, but we have a great network here. H would never do well in a city and we love having four seasons. As a family we love being outside skiing, boating, fishing, hiking and we have a great area for that.
If we were to move H would pick somewhere out west, like Montana, I would pick somewhere like Asheville, NC. So we stay where we are.
We did a cross-country move seven years ago to a place that was new to both of us, because 1) DH got a great job offer that would get him out of a place where he was unhappy for years, and my WFH job is portable so I could go anywhere 2) we felt it would be a nice place to live where we could afford the lifestyle we wanted, as opposed to other potential options (he's in a very niche industry so there are relatively few places he could realistically get a job) and 3) we would be within driving distance of family.
We wouldn't have moved only for #2 or #3, #1 was the deciding factor. We are both from Ohio and most of our family is still there, but we met & got married in California and then lived in Colorado for 12 years (because that's where DH got a job post-grad-school and we thought it would be a good place to live). So we are used to living far from family in a place where we basically know nobody and building out a support system/community.
It was a good decision. We're happy with just about everything about where we live now.
Post by lavenderblue on Feb 9, 2024 9:22:00 GMT -5
I live about 45 minutes from where I grew up. I moved to this area when I got married so that exH could be close to his kids. My family thought I'd move back when I got divorced, but my kids are in high school, so I'm here at least until they graduate.
I grew up here but moved to the UK for university and stayed for a few years after, living in different areas.
I realised that I was saving up all my money and vacation time to come back here as much as I could. I hated the dark in the winter. And I realised that when I watched the Olympics, I was happy if a British person won a medal, but I was crying if a Jamaican did... so I knew it was time to move back home!
I stay because I got married and had my boys. I love the lifestyle here. After DH died, people asked if I would move back to the UK. I have no desire to raise my mixed-race boys in the UK. They may choose that, or the US, for university themselves, but they then, they will have a strong self-knowledge and confidence from growing up in a black country.
I picked grew up here (here meaning state in my answer) but H is from MI as well and we've both lived in the state our whole lives. We live about 45 from both of our (different) hometowns and the majority of our families live in the state as well.
But other reasons keep us here - after college I had hopes to move to warmer temps but it never panned out and I'm ok with that honestly. I don't love the bitter cold but those days aren't a huge number and I do like having 4 seasons. Also - Michigan really is beautiful and offers lots of options. And our area is pretty LCOL.
We do talk about moving to warmer temps after retirement depending on where our daughter ends up. We talk a lot about the Carolina's because we both like it there and while we've liked the idea for a number of years that also happens to now be where H's mom and one of his sisters live but I wouldn't want to live exactly where they live because it's a bit too rural for me.
Jalapeñomel, since I was 18, I've never lived in the same location for more than 4 years. Even in London, I've never lived in the same part of it (so many different vibes/parts, so it almost feels like new). We're on 4 years in our house this spring and while I would love something different (like a different country), I don't see us moving any time soon (I do love our house and neighbourhood). I do get you on itching to move often.
I lived in MA my whole life, but never loved it. We move to GA a year and a half ago, mainly because it seemed like a nice place to live that had career opportunities for both of us and a reasonable COL. I really love it here and don’t plan to move again until we retire.
I moved to Chicago almost 20 years ago for my then spouse. We split up about 10 years ago. I moved from the city to the burbs 2 years ago - and we're a total anomaly out here as we aren't retired and don't have kids. We enjoy the lack of traffic and noise as well as the additional living space. However, I miss the energy of the city a lot, and feel a bit out of place out here sometimes. It's also been harder to meet people out here.
While we are still working, I don't see us leaving the area (especially as fully remote work feels like it's slipping away). But would really love to live somewhere a little more scenic at some point in my life.
When we moved back to MA we knew we would probably always be working in the vicinity of Boston so we told our realtor to find us something in a 30 mile radius of the city. Our house was the first one we saw that actually felt like a home and was affordable.
We saw some doozies - houses with broken floor joists, rooms we could barely stand up in, and one gem that was overlooking the highway.
We don't have any family in the state but we went to college here and almost all of our friends are here.
Post by lolalolalola on Feb 9, 2024 9:57:21 GMT -5
I moved to my city for university and never left. DH moved a tonne as a kid and he never wanted to move again. We met at our first job out of university, in this city.
I don’t love Alberta politics but we have built our lives here and I can’t imagine starting over anywhere else. I haven’t made a new friend in at least a decade. We make good salaries and cost of living is decent so I can’t complain about that aspect. We are also big downhill skiers and our proximity to world class ski resorts would be hard to give up.
Jalapeñomel , since I was 18, I've never lived in the same location for more than 4 years. Even in London, I've never lived in the same part of it (so many different vibes/parts, so it almost feels like new). We're on 4 years in our house this spring and while I would love something different (like a different country), I don't see us moving any time soon (I do love our house and neighbourhood). I do get you on itching to move often.
I feel like moving gets in your blood and it's hard to shake.
Post by liverandonions on Feb 9, 2024 10:18:32 GMT -5
I said Other because we moved to TX for a better life for our kids, nicer house than we could afford in CA, less crime and homelessness in the direct area around our home, and it happened to be near family which is why we chose here over another state
We moved from CA to SW WA almost 2 years ago. My husband and I needed a change, our lives were feeling stagnant. The COL was ridiculously high there. We had been renting for 9 years and really wanted to get a house of our own. Both our families lived within 25 minutes of our old house, so it was hard to make the decision to actually go because it meant adding 700 miles between our kids and their grandparents. We found a wonderful town with a great school district and I have been so much happier here.
In college, before I met DH, I always planned to move to the Carolinas after graduation. Then I met H and we settled 10 minutes from his hometown (3 hours from mine) since he already had an established job. We have since moved 30 minutes from his hometown to our dream home/property. DH and I both have established jobs that we have been in 23 and 15 years, respectively, so there is no desire or long-term plan to relocate. My parents will relocate here when they retire.
I need a "most of the above" option. We live in Philadelphia. We both grew up very close to here, but went away for college and grad school. We moved back bc DH got a job here and I could get a new job easily (still mad about it -- I love love love Philly and wouldn't want to live anywhere else, but my first job in DC was so amazing and I've never been able to replicate that experience). So we moved both to be closer to family and for jobs.
I'll never leave here. There's no greater city in the world (I know people will disagree but Philly has such a great vibe. I love it here so much)
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
1) I grew up in this general area and so did H 2) I was too chicken shit when I was 18 to go to school out of state all alone 3) Now that we have kids I'd be really hesitant to move away from my mom and sister
Post by chickadee77 on Feb 9, 2024 10:28:25 GMT -5
We moved for my H's job. Then we left because we dislike the community and wanted to be on hand for his aging mother. Then covid hit and our formerly mostly-sane corner of FL went absolutely INsane, and since we still had our house, we came back and are making do.
We're trying to figure out where we want to go - probably either MN or MI, since we still really dislike living in the Bible Belt.
I went to college here and loved the city and never left. DH moved here for work and it's pretty much a central location for both of our extended families. Works for us.
We were both born and raised here and never wanted to leave the city. We live close to everything important to us (including family) and we're just Philadelphia people.
We chose to live here because there are lots of job opportunities, beautiful old houses that that we could afford (we both love old houses), and it's the perfect in-between spot of a city with lots to do and the country which is where I feel comfortable.
Post by countthestars on Feb 9, 2024 10:39:18 GMT -5
I grew up here, and H's family is within a 5 hour drive, most within 2. We both went to college in New England and our friends are here. My parents and sister are in our town, which is a great place to raise a family. We are an hour from Boston and 3.5 from NYC, plus beaches, mountains, 4 seasons. MA has so much to offer, and our progressive politics is the icing on the cake for me.
I said we moved for MH's job, but it's a bit of a SS. MH finished med school while I was still in grad school. We ranked places for residency partially based on locations that were a good job market for me. We ended up in our #1 choice.
MH was very enthusiastic about moving to NC since he had been here for college. I was more lukewarm, but once we ended up here, I really liked it.
It contrasts really well to the NYC suburbs where we grew up--affordable, not terribly congested, close to nature. I miss easy access to the beach, but I think it's just so much nicer to live here.
I grew up an hour away from where we live. My husband moved here for college. But that is how we GOT here, not why we live here. We would both rather live elsewhere but the very specific industry that my husband works in is also located her, so we stay until he retires.
This location wasn’t on the radar for us to permanently settle. Quite the opposite. We had lived about an hour away from where we are now, I HATED living there, and never ever wanted to come back here. Was very happy where we were, in Durham. Unfortunately when H was looking for a job was when there were basically none to be had in 2012. He got exactly one job offer, so he had to take it, and was actually so fortunate to even get one offer. Other people he trained with weren’t so lucky. So here we are, 14 years later. He likes his position, so we got really lucky on that front as well, in that he didn’t move us across the country to a job he hated and wanted/needed to leave.
Last year though, a few positions became available in the location we had always dreamed of settling. We looked pretty seriously into the logistics (neighborhoods, home prices, schools, etc), but ultimately decided not to pursue it. Would have had to uproot the kids and would have to start all over building social and support circles in a time where we (and the kids) very much need them firmly established. Maybe someday though…
Jalapeñomel , since I was 18, I've never lived in the same location for more than 4 years. Even in London, I've never lived in the same part of it (so many different vibes/parts, so it almost feels like new). We're on 4 years in our house this spring and while I would love something different (like a different country), I don't see us moving any time soon (I do love our house and neighbourhood). I do get you on itching to move often.
I feel like moving gets in your blood and it's hard to shake.
I'm the same way. I've never been as content with where I live as I am now, but I think about living in other places all the time. I think it would have to be abroad again, though. I can't think of anywhere else in the US that would tempt me away.
I moved to NYC 14 years ago because I wanted to. Moved into a sublet, without a job lined up. I told my family that if things didn't work out, I'd come back home, but I never actually intended to. (I got a job very quickly.)
I did consider moving to Philly when I got divorced in 2018, but I had received a nice job offer, which I could actually afford to live on my own, and didn't want to make that big of a change.
My H now is a musician, so unless he changes his career, we're here for the long haul. I don't mind - my salary as a staff nurse would be much lower almost anywhere else in the country. We moved into an incredibly affordable apartment this year, so we actually might be able to save to buy something eventually.
I live here because I grew up here, spent some time away (college and the five years following), and came home to work in the family company. My whole extended family is here.
I only lasted 9 months working with my dad and brother. I'm a teacher now, but also 50% owner of the company. If I leave teaching, I would work with my brother. I definitely don't see myself leaving.
I need a "most of the above" option. We live in Philadelphia. We both grew up very close to here, but went away for college and grad school. We moved back bc DH got a job here and I could get a new job easily (still mad about it -- I love love love Philly and wouldn't want to live anywhere else, but my first job in DC was so amazing and I've never been able to replicate that experience). So we moved both to be closer to family and for jobs.
I'll never leave here. There's no greater city in the world (I know people will disagree but Philly has such a great vibe. I love it here so much)
without a doubt one of my favorites. I am so glad my sister lives there so we can visit regularly. We head out again in a week!