My calendar is packed later today because the office I'm supporting is on central time and I'm on eastern. Honestly the rest of the week looks busy.
Oh and school is closed today for the election. Why can't they use the libraries instead of schools? Most people do early voting anyway.
Yes, I find this so annoying. Also, they never actually build election days into the calendar in my district, they just decide maybe 2 months ahead of time to close schools.
Post by emilyinchile on Mar 5, 2024 8:50:23 GMT -5
starburst604 I just read your posts from yesterday and oh. my. god. What a fucking CHILD. Also "this set me off" - so he's basically admitting that he can't control his anger and saying that's a reason he can't go to therapy, aka the perfect place to explore being "set off" by normal life events? Cool cool. I hope your conversation with your dad went as well as possible and that you're feeling ok today.
How is it only Tuesday? Feels like it should be at least Thursday
I'm dragging today. Kid also struggled this morning and we left a little late (nothing drastic) so she was all worked up even though I told her it was fine, we weren't that late, etc. And then we had to stop for a train (which happens a lot in our town so not a big deal) and she actually said "fuck this train" LOL But on the plus side about 2 minutes after I got to my office it all of a sudden started POURING rain so at least I didn't get caught in that!
I need to think of a fun local activity for kid and I to do one day during Spring Break at the end of the month. We just went on vacation during her Intersession week a couple of weeks ago so it won't be anything too big (which she understands) but I feel bad if she has nothing to do all week.
bears, it's on the calendar at the start of the year, it's just annoying. The county still doesn't get that most households are 2 working parents and just make the calendar without paying attention to the effects.
Does anyone have a Pottery Barn coupon she's not using? I'd be grateful for one, as I'm about to drop $$$ on a hamper for DD1. I feel like a sucker, but she's only getting a few birthday gifts, and I do love that this is functional.
I'm volunteering at our local election this afternoon after a half day of work. It's a small town, so voting it just at Town Hall. I wish I didn't have to use PTO, but whatever. I get a kick out of hanging with the older ladies who make up most of the volunteer pool.
Post by starburst604 on Mar 5, 2024 9:05:00 GMT -5
emilyinchile you read my mind! I was thinking THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY SIR!!! Fortunately he left to stay at a friend's last night so I didn't have to deal with him. I didn't have it in me to call my dad yesterday, but I did email the attorney I'm going to use and asked how to start the process.
Post by followyourarrow on Mar 5, 2024 9:06:20 GMT -5
I have the final tonight for economics. This class has kicked my butt. I only need a 70% to maintain a B in the class, so please cross your fingers for me.
All kinds of things have suddenly decided to break at home but thank god they are breaking when FI is home so he can take care of them. This morning it was the bathroom fan. Living in a very humid state, we really need it so the bathroom doesn't get moldy.
Post by donutsmakemegonuts on Mar 5, 2024 9:10:03 GMT -5
I have a monthly report due that is not hard, but tedious and annoying. I try to have a different mindset about it every month, but I can never get to a positive place. It's also dreary and rainy here today (and for the next several days apparently) which makes me lack motivation anyway.
In other news, my FIL apparently invited himself and my MIL to our house for a date in May that he decided would work to get all the family for dinner. He wants to plan this dinner at the restaurant where we had their 50th wedding anniversary and said "we really liked the room you guys got for us!". You mean the private room we booked specifically for this party which required a deposit and commitment to a catered menu??? That room? Why can't we just make reservations for a table?? And the kicker is he knows that the party was planned in advance and cost money, so I don't understand why he wants this. He also worded it like he wants my DH to plan it again, which he will not be. DH sent him the menus and information about booking the room to FIL in an email lol. He also picked a date that worked for FIL, MIL and SIL and her family, but didn't ask us if it would work for us. He just assumed. He also assumed that my BIL who lives in CA will be flying in for the weekend for this, which he is not. The main issue I have with all of this is that DH won't just be straightforward with him in the moment. He won't say hey, wait a minute, were you going to ask us if we are available that day?? Or, I don't think that will work for us! Instead, DH vents to me and then has to come up some plan to call him back and explain how it won't work. Except he won't do it right away, he will wait weeks, which gives FIL false hope. Ugh. All I know is if my mom said she wanted to do something on a specific day that did not work for me I would address it in the moment.
Post by emilyinchile on Mar 5, 2024 9:13:26 GMT -5
starburst604 that's an awesome step, congratulations! And that language your H used just also feels kind of...threatening? Not in a physical way but in the emotional abuse vein for sure, like if you "let" something happen that upsets him then he can't be responsible for how he reacts. I know there are plenty of hard moments ahead of you, but overall this seems like it's just going to be such a positive change in your life.
starburst604 that's an awesome step, congratulations! And that language your H used just also feels kind of...threatening? Not in a physical way but in the emotional abuse vein for sure, like if you "let" something happen that upsets him then he can't be responsible for how he reacts. I know there are plenty of hard moments ahead of you, but overall this seems like it's just going to be such a positive change in your life.
You are so right. I think at this point he's trying different tactics of emotional abuse on me because he feels like he's losing control over the situation. In this instance he's telling me "YOU consented to our child coming home sick, therefore YOU have ruined my plans, so I will punish you by refusing the therapy appointment". But, his problem is he's always underestimated me.
Post by emilyinchile on Mar 5, 2024 9:19:28 GMT -5
L and I had such a fun little afternoon yesterday. Because of our (dumb, stupid) car needing a repair, we went on a public transit adventure involving a total of 5 buses so that we could go to 3 different stores to get things he needed. All the buses came quickly and weren't too packed, the shopping was fast, and he was SO excited about his new shoes. Considering it could have been a major frustration and ended with buying nothing, to have it all work perfectly was amazing!
Post by Patsy Baloney on Mar 5, 2024 9:22:01 GMT -5
I’m exhausted by entitled parents. I really do think my time as a GS leader is coming to an end. I’ve been planning an overnight for months now and we’ve had half of our families now drop out in the week before the campout. Various excuses, but all of it is entitlement. They’ve known about the overnight, they were polled on the best date, 100% agreement and now 742 things are more important than this.
I’m tired of wasting my time planning for so many only to have half show up. While I’m committed and happy to have so much fun with the kids who do show I’m tired. It sucks to be told over and over again that everything is more important than what your pour so much energy into.
starburst604 that's an awesome step, congratulations! And that language your H used just also feels kind of...threatening? Not in a physical way but in the emotional abuse vein for sure, like if you "let" something happen that upsets him then he can't be responsible for how he reacts. I know there are plenty of hard moments ahead of you, but overall this seems like it's just going to be such a positive change in your life.
You are so right. I think at this point he's trying different tactics of emotional abuse on me because he feels like he's losing control over the situation. In this instance he's telling me "YOU consented to our child coming home sick, therefore YOU have ruined my plans, so I will punish you by refusing the therapy appointment". But, his problem is he's always underestimated me.
This week is insane. We have the start of track, theater arts, terra novas and confirmation practice. Blech.
It’s so crazy they still use schools. I can remember my grade school in the 80s was a precinct but we didn’t close. We just commingled and cancelled gym 🤣
I made homemade flour tortillas last night and they were SO GOOD!!
starburst604 that's an awesome step, congratulations! And that language your H used just also feels kind of...threatening? Not in a physical way but in the emotional abuse vein for sure, like if you "let" something happen that upsets him then he can't be responsible for how he reacts. I know there are plenty of hard moments ahead of you, but overall this seems like it's just going to be such a positive change in your life.
You are so right. I think at this point he's trying different tactics of emotional abuse on me because he feels like he's losing control over the situation. In this instance he's telling me "YOU consented to our child coming home sick, therefore YOU have ruined my plans, so I will punish you by refusing the therapy appointment". But, his problem is he's always underestimated me.
That seems clear! His initial tantrum in all of this seems to have spiraled beyond what he expected. I imagine he didn't expect you to be all "you know what? F this shit - I'm out." But good for you girl - you deserve better!!
Today I have an early work meeting and tomorrow we have late start for the kids which means work/meetings for me and DS stays home to play video games for 2 extra hours. He's not sad about that.
PDQ H is not in a good place mentally (depression). I need to talk with him about making time for a counselor. It's time. I hope he's ready to hear this tonight. PDQ
macmars45, good luck with your husband. It is hard to see someone struggle and know you cannot fix it. starburst604, kick his ass to the curb. I cannot recall; is he going to be totally floored by the actual filing for divorce? or do you think he is prepared for you to do this?
Realized that being away for Easter means I DON'T HAVE TO COOK FOR EASTER!!!!!!!! Now how do I make a little Easter basket for my son that I can hide in my carryon? LOL
starburst604 that's an awesome step, congratulations! And that language your H used just also feels kind of...threatening? Not in a physical way but in the emotional abuse vein for sure, like if you "let" something happen that upsets him then he can't be responsible for how he reacts. I know there are plenty of hard moments ahead of you, but overall this seems like it's just going to be such a positive change in your life.
You are so right. I think at this point he's trying different tactics of emotional abuse on me because he feels like he's losing control over the situation. In this instance he's telling me "YOU consented to our child coming home sick, therefore YOU have ruined my plans, so I will punish you by refusing the therapy appointment". But, his problem is he's always underestimated me.
I'm sorry starburst604, he sucks. Did you keep the therapy appointment anyway? I bet it is not unusual for one of the couple to not show up.
I can't get over how shitty he was to you about your child being sick. How's she doing with all this?
I finally got the official offer for my promotion and accepted it last week, and now I'm in supervisory training hell. I don't object to the training, but there's web-based training in three places and two types of in person training (one of which can be registered for in our regular training portal, one of which you can find there but can't actually register for- it tells you to register with a specific office but gives no contact info), and half of it is duplicative of my regular annual training but has to be done separately from that. What I really need to be doing is figuring out tasking for the employees under me and support contractors that are onboarding. I don't regret taking the new role, but I will be glad to get through the transition and be settled into the job.
No school for kids here due to primaries either (added to the calendar after the start of the year); they don't really need supervision but I'm WFH anyway. It's rainy and gross, so trying to psych myself up to go vote since that's the only thing I need to leave the house for today.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Mar 5, 2024 10:16:04 GMT -5
I recently discovered that I love Everything Bagel seasoning (from Aldi). I've been putting it on so much...toast with cream cheese for breakfast, roasted vegetables for lunch, any random bland chicken or fish I find myself eating. But no matter how well I brush my teeth or even use mouthwash after eating, it leaves such a strong garlic and oniony taste in my mouth. It's fine for when I'm home, but I feel so self-conscious when I go out in public after. Maybe I need to start chewing gum again, but my jaw is not a fan of that.
Why can't I sleep with my mouth open when I really need to? I know that's not normally desirable, but I have a cold and my face is so congested and stuffy and I just cannot breathe through my nose, so you'd think my brain would say, "Okay- we will use your mouth tonight".
But my brain says, "Whoops, you fell asleep with your mouth open, let me shut that for you!" and I end up jerking myself awake because, well, I can't breathe. I am so tired! We had a thunderstorm roll through at 5am Sunday morning, I couldn't sleep Sunday night because DD was sick and couldn't sleep, and now I'm sick and apparently have to choose between sleeping and breathing, so yay! I hate this week and I have so much to do!
Post by starburst604 on Mar 5, 2024 10:22:24 GMT -5
shauni27 I really think he will somehow be surprised even though I don't know what he expects me to do at this point. It will take about 6 weeks for the papers to be ready for me to serve him. I don't plan to say a word until the papers are ready and the atty said I can have him served or he can pick them up at her office. I think I will tell him when they are ready and give him that option, and have a couple of nights away planned for me and DD to let the dust settle. I'm hoping it will work out so they are ready over the April school break.
noodleoo I didn't keep that appointment since I've already been working with my therapist. I think DD probably senses that something is going on though we don't argue or anything. Telling her is going to be awful but I have to keep reminding myself that he brings nothing to this relationship but hurt and in the long term she will be so much better off that I got away from him. We both will be.
starburst604 I am sorry that you are at that point, but I am glad you seem confident about it and from what you have shared, it sounds like a good choice. Divorce is no fun but it's also often the start of something much better.
My husband is going to visit his parents and he’s pretty nervous about that. They are exhausting on a good day and his dad’s in the hospital (but apparently doing okay). We figured it was good to for him to go in case his dad’s health went down hill vs waiting for when he was planning to go in six weeks. But it’s not a fun visit and the weather is supposed to be bad the whole time. And a lot of driving because the hotel, their house and the hospital are not very close to each other.
I’m staying here with the three dogs. Last time he went away by himself we didn’t have the beagle yet and I think she will be shocked! She normally spends the day as his intern when he works from home and she gets sad when he works in-office. She will have to make do with watching me knit this project I’m way behind on.