It's done, I told him.

[starburst604]

I didn't want to crowd randoms with my stuff but wanted to give an update. As planned, I told him in the driveway after DD got on the bus. He tried to hide it, but I think I caught him really off guard. I was super nervous so it was hard to articulate much except what I wanted to get across - that I'd filed for divorce and he could pick up the summons from my attorney, or I can have him served. This is the conversation as I remember it:

Me: I wanted to let you know that I've filed for divorce. The papers are ready, and you can either pick them up from my attorney in Med...
Him: Well we're going to use a mediator, right? Attorneys will cost so much money.
Me: I'm using an attorney. You can pick up the summons at her office or I can have it served to you next week. Let me know what you want to do.
Him: I can't believe you're using an attorney, that's going to screw us financially. So you don't even want to talk about it?
Me: I don't really have anything to say. You cancelled on the therapy appointment, didn't ask to reschedule it, you haven't done anything to try and work on things.
Him: Neither have you.
Me: That's because I'm done.
Him: ok

I walked around to my driver's side and got in, he walked toward the house and then walked back to my car. I cracked the window and he said "So we'll put the house on the market around June 1st?" I said sure. I think in that moment the only thing he could think of was try to threaten me with the loss of the house, like I haven't already thought that through. I drove to work and I'm just kind of sitting here numb. Thankfully I'm only here until noon and then going to get DD from her half day of school. I don't even know how to feel. There are cupcakes in the lunch room and I might go get one to have for breakfast. 

[jinkies]

I'm proud of you. Take care of yourself today. A cupcake for breakfast sounds good to me!

[livinitup]

I think this calls for a cupcake. Probably two.

Well done.

[bears]

Take a breath. Eat a cupcake. This is a first step and there are better things to come.

[gretchenindisguise]

Have 2 cupcakes.

You did great. Much love and light as you take this journey. I'm hopeful it ends in actual happiness for you.

[maudefindlay]

I'm glad that step is over for you and that his reaction was calm and not as angry and yelling as he could have been.

[noodleoo]

Hugs, friend. I know that was probably really hard, but you are doing the right thing. I hope you are relieved that part is over. Sending you hugs and strength.

[pandorica]

Eat all the cupcakes. Great job! I'm glad he didn't make it a huge confrontation and that you're getting out of town for the night.

[emilyinchile]

You are a BADASS ICON of boundaries and protecting your peace. Eat that cupcake and savor it.

[lavenderblue]

I'm so glad for you that it is done. You are doing the best thing protecting yourself with an attorney.

[underwaterrhymes]

Eat a cupcake or two and take some deep breaths. You did AWESOME.

[rachers]

Enjoy the cupcake and enjoy the afternoon with your DD. I know this must be so hard.

[glw]

I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. And have a cupcake.

[Jalapeñomel]

I can't imagine how hard this is, but good for you!

[abs]

I am so proud of you!

[Bad Dingo]

So many hugs, you deserve all of the cupcakes!!

[scm1011]

Mar 22, 2024 8:38:29 GMT -5 emilyinchile said:

You are a BADASS ICON of boundaries and protecting your peace. Eat that cupcake and savor it.

QFT!!!!!

Your strength, resolve, and grace through this has been amazing. I'm proud of you!! Now go eat a cupcake or 3. 

[TR]

Great job! I don't want to be pessimistic, but I'd say on guard just because his initial reaction may have been tempered by shock and he may act out once he's had a chance to absorb the information. But I hope everything continues to go smoothly, I really do!

[followyourarrow]

Eat the cupcake! You've got this. I hope you enjoy a peaceful weekend.

[starburst604]

Mar 22, 2024 8:47:33 GMT -5 TR said:

Great job! I don't want to be pessimistic, but I'd say on guard just because his initial reaction may have been tempered by shock and he may act out once he's had a chance to absorb the information. But I hope everything continues to go smoothly, I really do!

Oh I absolutely agree. Especially once he starts drinking today, I'm pretty much expecting it. I'm now going to be the bad guy for hiring an attorney instead of a mediator. Because ya know, he's just such a reasonable person!

[acr]

Good for you. You got this! It's probably going to be a stressful few months, but life on the other side will be worth it.

[deadwing]

Proud of you starburst604! Eat a cupcake for breakfast. Take another with you when you leave. You've earned it.

[litskispeciality]

You are a bad a$$ woman. Have the cupcake, and a glass of wine. I'm here if you want to PM. Wishing you and DD all the best and safety in the time ahead.

[Tacocat]

I haven’t commented yet, but been following along. Proud of you and you are so strong with what you are doing! Go eat that cupcake! 🧁

[bex1973]

You are amazing and I'm so proud of you!!!

[blondemoment123]

I'm so proud of you! Sending love!

[lo]

Hugs! Eat all the cupcakes!

[lucybrown]

Sending so much love. I’m really proud of you. 💕

[flygirl]

I have to say I smirked a little when he said “neither have you” and you said “that’s because I’m done.” Double high five for not letting him throw it back on you! And I’d eat a cupcake for breakfast lunch and dinner

[meanie]

I think you are up to two dozen cupcakes by my post, have them all!