I’m so glad I haven’t been to many weddings, because clearly, I’m cheap. 🤣
This may be pearl clutch? I thought a rule of thumb was to give what your plate/food costs. Wedding food is so expensive I assume it's probably more than $50 a person. Seriously though no one should keep track of how much each guest spent, or if they "got their money back".
Post by turkletsmom on Apr 12, 2024 16:11:50 GMT -5
I'd probably do $100 minimum in this situation/relationship. A few years ago I would have given less, but everything just costs so much more now and I feel like the gifts I give are keeping up with that increase.
I’m so glad I haven’t been to many weddings, because clearly, I’m cheap. 🤣
This may be pearl clutch? I thought a rule of thumb was to give what your plate/food costs. Wedding food is so expensive I assume it's probably more than $50 a person. Seriously though no one should keep track of how much each guest spent, or if they "got their money back".
I have heard this too but how am I supposed to know how much they are paying per plate? I’m certainly not going to contact the venue/do that much research on it.
Post by mcppalmbeach on Apr 12, 2024 17:12:38 GMT -5
I am the most frugal and for sure if I am going I will give $100 (again assuming I can afford it of course).I don’t really prescribe to the whole “cover your plate” thing, but I figure a night out for two with drinks is going to cost us at least $100 so that just feels right to me. I would give more to a close family member like my niece or nephew. For a friend I would more likely do a gift.
This may be pearl clutch? I thought a rule of thumb was to give what your plate/food costs. Wedding food is so expensive I assume it's probably more than $50 a person. Seriously though no one should keep track of how much each guest spent, or if they "got their money back".
I have heard this too but how am I supposed to know how much they are paying per plate? I’m certainly not going to contact the venue/do that much research on it.
Yeah I guess that part doesn't really make sense because how do you know how much the couple is spending unless they tell you? I just assume at least $50 pp as I paid over $70 pp over 10 years ago and that was trying to keep it lower cost.
Thinking about it further the guest shouldn't be stuck spending more because rich cousin Muffy's parents could afford a country club wedding and sprung for the surf and turf. What do you do for weddings at less expensive venues or pot luck etc? I typically just give the same amount regardless of venue and hope it's enough to cover my meal.
I’m so glad I haven’t been to many weddings, because clearly, I’m cheap. 🤣
This may be pearl clutch? I thought a rule of thumb was to give what your plate/food costs. Wedding food is so expensive I assume it's probably more than $50 a person. Seriously though no one should keep track of how much each guest spent, or if they "got their money back".
This is like the most regional of regional "rules" and it is always fascinating to me because people who believe in "cover your plate" BELIEVE it. And I come from the most regional of regional "rules" where a monetary gift is tacky and you have to give a gift off the registry, but also, they can't tell people about the registry because that is also tacky. You have to discreetly ask.
It's my favorite when people from each of these regions marry each other.
I have heard this too but how am I supposed to know how much they are paying per plate? I’m certainly not going to contact the venue/do that much research on it.
Yeah I guess that part doesn't really make sense because how do you know how much the couple is spending unless they tell you? I just assume at least $50 pp as I paid over $70 pp over 10 years ago and that was trying to keep it lower cost.
Thinking about it further the guest shouldn't be stuck spending more because rich cousin Muffy's parents could afford a country club wedding and sprung for the surf and turf. What do you do for weddings at less expensive venues or pot luck etc? I typically just give the same amount regardless of venue and hope it's enough to cover my meal.
My niece is getting married in June in NJ. Each plate will be almost $300 after tip and tax included. Totally ridiculous but oh so common in this area. She is having about 250 people. NUTS
My first thought was $50. We used to give $50 for friends/acquaintances and $100 for family/close friends. It has been years since we've attended a wedding though so those amounts are probably low.
Post by somersault72 on Apr 12, 2024 21:19:10 GMT -5
I live in a LCOL area and I'd give $50 max. As far as "covering my plate" no one in my family has a wedding that is anywhere near 50 bucks a plate. It's not that there aren't weddings is in this area that don't cost that much (or more), just no one in my family is having one. Also, I had never even heard of that before this board.
I live in a LCOL area and I'd give $50 max. As far as "covering my plate" no one in my family has a wedding that is anywhere near 50 bucks a plate. It's not that there aren't weddings is in this area that don't cost that much (or more), just no one in my family is having one. Also, I had never even heard of that before this board.
I do live in a HCOL area and the only people I have heard talk about “covering your plate.” Was way back on the knot/early days of the nest.
I think it’s weird. How am I supposed to know what someone spent? And it’s not my job to make sure your wedding costs are covered
Why not just send your guests a bill with their invite? Then everyone knows how much to give you LOL
I live in a LCOL area and I'd give $50 max. As far as "covering my plate" no one in my family has a wedding that is anywhere near 50 bucks a plate. It's not that there aren't weddings is in this area that don't cost that much (or more), just no one in my family is having one. Also, I had never even heard of that before this board.
I do live in a HCOL area and the only people I have heard talk about “covering your plate.” Was way back on the knot/early days of the nest.
I think it’s weird. How am I supposed to know what someone spent? And it’s not my job to make sure your wedding costs are covered
Why not just send your guests a bill with their invite? Then everyone knows how much to give you LOL
It is absolutely ridiculous! I had a friend a long time ago that was a total bridezilla when throwing her wedding and she told me this nonsense. I forever thought she was the biggest asshole after that.
We had a big wedding that was $$$$ and we paid for it ourselves. I never in a million years thought it was the guests job to "cover their plate." I honesty don't even remember who gave me what gifts. Again, I'm just not a gifts person, lol.
I grew up where it was regional to “cover your plate” when you were a guest at a wedding. It was not considered the guest’s job, my goodness. It’s just an expression.
Lots of people didn’t, it’s hardly enforceable. Younger cousins, older relatives, etc. - a card and well wishes is more than appreciated. It just wasn’t unusual for someone like my father who was attending with all four of us (when we were teens, still living at home) to give a check that covered all four of us.
Post by nothingcontroversial on Apr 13, 2024 19:43:52 GMT -5
We give $200 for weddings, regardless of the Cost of Living of the wedding location, but that's because we can afford it because our combined household income is $270K in a low COL community. Back when I was single and only making $20K a year, I gave $25 to weddings. I upped it to $50 when I got a new job that paid $36K a year.
We have a family friend who said that when he went to weddings, he didn't write the check until after dinner. You know, so that he knew how good the food tasted and whether the guests were fed well. Maybe he was joking. Maybe he wasn't.
This may be pearl clutch? I thought a rule of thumb was to give what your plate/food costs. Wedding food is so expensive I assume it's probably more than $50 a person. Seriously though no one should keep track of how much each guest spent, or if they "got their money back".
This is like the most regional of regional "rules" and it is always fascinating to me because people who believe in "cover your plate" BELIEVE it. And I come from the most regional of regional "rules" where a monetary gift is tacky and you have to give a gift off the registry, but also, they can't tell people about the registry because that is also tacky. You have to discreetly ask.
It's my favorite when people from each of these regions marry each other.
So, I've been part of "the family" and "the extended family" at weddings where people brought boxed gifts instead of money, and it was a huge pain in the ass to load up all of these gifts into various family members' vehicles at the end of the night. And sometimes some of the family members have had a little too much to drink at that point. So, the inebriated aren't very helpful being "volunteered" to load gifts. So, I know that all gifts are very much appreciated (or should be) but personally, I'm surprised that some regions actually "prefer" that guests bring boxed gifts instead of money.
This is like the most regional of regional "rules" and it is always fascinating to me because people who believe in "cover your plate" BELIEVE it. And I come from the most regional of regional "rules" where a monetary gift is tacky and you have to give a gift off the registry, but also, they can't tell people about the registry because that is also tacky. You have to discreetly ask.
It's my favorite when people from each of these regions marry each other.
So, I've been part of "the family" and "the extended family" at weddings where people brought boxed gifts instead of money, and it was a huge pain in the ass to load up all of these gifts into various family members' vehicles at the end of the night. And sometimes some of the family members have had a little too much to drink at that point. So, the inebriated aren't very helpful being "volunteered" to load gifts. So, I know that all gifts are very much appreciated (or should be) but personally, I'm surprised that some regions actually "prefer" that guests bring boxed gifts instead of money.
I clutched pearls reading your response - in my gift giving region, no one would dare bring it to the wedding! When I got married, I think I had 2 brought to the reception, maybe? From out of town people. 99% of things are delivered beforehand. There was a super old school tradition of inviting friends over before the wedding to see the gifts displayed in the bride's family home which luckily had petered out by the time I got married, but the early delivery of gifts practice remained.
I haven't been to a wedding since before COVID, but the last couple we gave $100. I used to do $50 when I had less money, and I do really believe in the "give what you can afford" thing. Someone upthread mentioned that $100 is really dinner and drinks on any random night out these days (for us) so that makes me think that I may even go a little higher for the next wedding, especially if it's someone I'm closer with.
For this particular wedding I'd probably do $100 if I attended, or $50 if I was just sending a gift.