when we got married and were going to a lot of weddings I always gave $100... but now we've been married 18 years (yikes) and everything costs so much more... so I guess I would do at least 150 now. Good to think about this since I'm going to a wedding in 2 weeks
Yeah I guess that part doesn't really make sense because how do you know how much the couple is spending unless they tell you? I just assume at least $50 pp as I paid over $70 pp over 10 years ago and that was trying to keep it lower cost.
Thinking about it further the guest shouldn't be stuck spending more because rich cousin Muffy's parents could afford a country club wedding and sprung for the surf and turf. What do you do for weddings at less expensive venues or pot luck etc? I typically just give the same amount regardless of venue and hope it's enough to cover my meal.
My niece is getting married in June in NJ. Each plate will be almost $300 after tip and tax included. Totally ridiculous but oh so common in this area. She is having about 250 people. NUTS
Holy fuck. I can't imagine spending that much on a day for any reason. And that's just feeding people. My brain is just blown.
When you think about it, my wedding back in 2005 was about $4000 (not including rings or wedding clothing, my dress, etc. That includes the church + hall for reception, food, drink, decorations, plates, flowers, etc.). Food was about $1000. 70-75 people. That's $50ish overall and $14 on food/drink per person. I can see how someone in a HCOL area that is going all out can spend $250-300/person these sday. Unless that's just food.
My niece is getting married in June in NJ. Each plate will be almost $300 after tip and tax included. Totally ridiculous but oh so common in this area. She is having about 250 people. NUTS
Holy fuck. I can't imagine spending that much on a day for any reason. And that's just feeding people. My brain is just blown.
Same! I feel exactly the same way. I know it super expensive in this area BUT you do not need 250 people!!!
When you think about it, my wedding back in 2005 was about $4000 (not including rings or wedding clothing, my dress, etc. That includes the church + hall for reception, food, drink, decorations, plates, flowers, etc.). Food was about $1000. 70-75 people. That's $50ish overall and $14 on food/drink per person. I can see how someone in a HCOL area that is going all out can spend $250-300/person these sday. Unless that's just food.
Post by emilyinchile on Apr 14, 2024 20:42:50 GMT -5
fernweh out of curiosity, how much were you thinking vs your H?
I truly have no issue with people giving whatever they can or choose - we've been pleasantly surprised by some unexpectedly big gifts, and I am honestly equally touched by early 20s cousins who gave like $10 each. I'm usually in the $50-100 range depending on closeness, but if it's for a wedding in the US I have by definition spent a lot on just getting there, so I don't feel bad if I'm on the lower end of gift spending.
Post by litskispeciality on Apr 15, 2024 10:37:31 GMT -5
That's funny about the physical gifts. In my rEGi0n you have (typically a fancy) card box and a gift table. Most (younger, say 50 or so and under) give you a card with cash, and most *older* guests still give you a physical gift, something off of your registry. I agree it's a huge PITA to pack up. We left at 3 AM the night of/after our wedding, so my parents had to pack up their van, then make another trip down when we got home. I didn't even know or think to ask for help, so we were kind of scrambling night of.
Anyway, this thread makes me feel better about just give what you can and that $100 - 150 seems relatively reasonable.
I will still never understand why people spend so much to have over 200 people at a wedding, especially when they 're paying more than $50 PP (use that money for a house, retirement, really anything), but let them do them I guess.
fernweh out of curiosity, how much were you thinking vs your H?
I truly have no issue with people giving whatever they can or choose - we've been pleasantly surprised by some unexpectedly big gifts, and I am honestly equally touched by early 20s cousins who gave like $10 each. I'm usually in the $50-100 range depending on closeness, but if it's for a wedding in the US I have by definition spent a lot on just getting there, so I don't feel bad if I'm on the lower end of gift spending.
H was thinking $200. I honestly had no idea - but $200 seems like a lot. I haven’t been to a wedding in close to 10 years. Back then My go to was $50 but we were significantly less comfortable financially and also $50 doesn’t go as far as it did that long ago.
I might send regrets in this instance unless there are folks who you'll look forward to seeing. I know people frown on this, but in a situation where I'm not especially close but am included because of others who will be there, I'd cover my plate.