s/o Sports- do you attend every game, meet, match?

[sunshineandpinot]

I'm mainly asking as they get older.... 
Both my daughters (12 & 15) play club volleyball and unless their schedules conflict, I attend every tournament. All the parents do. The games are high energy and a lot of fun. It would be weird to not go without a legit conflict. 
However, my older dd (freshman) is also swimming and running track in high school. The swim meets were all local, and I swam in HS so I have an interest in the sport. I went to every meet. No biggie, I also enjoyed that, though it's not as fun as volleyball IMO. 
Which brings me to track. :/ 
She joined track three weeks into the season (due to finishing swim.) She's a sprinter and running the 100, 200, 4x100 and 4x200. Barely over a minute on the track total. SURPRISE! She made regionals and it's 3 hours away. They are going the night before, staying in a hotel, and running the next day. Then they'll come home. 
Would you go? She claims she doesn't care but I think she'd like me to be there. I'd miss a day of work and have to figure out childcare for my younger dd, but that's all doable.
Details aren't out yet; I don't even know where they're staying or the schedule of events. 
The track parents aren't as bonded; honestly I haven't met a single one and they don't seem to attend the track meets, maybe bc they're in the middle of the day? idk. Hoping more details come out today but I want to start getting my ducks in a row if needed. 

[Roc A Bee]

SD plays HS soccer and the games have been at 3:30pm or 4:30pm so the 3:30pm game was impossible to go with work. DH and I would take time off to go to 3-4 games that season plus one tournament. The 4:30 was slightly easier and DH got to see about half the games (he only goes on our time; her mom goes on her time). I got to maybe 5 games total.

[ECB]

DS plays lacrosse and now that he's in high school, his club team ONLY plays in 2 day tournaments - one is out of town.

Yes, I go to all his tournaments. But to your point, the parents all get along and we enjoy hanging out. There are a few parents, though, that due to schedules (one couple both work in a hospital) - sometimes parents aren't able to come and someone else will take the boy to/from the tournament.

One of my lacrosse mom friends - her older son just started track this year and she said its an eye opener. THe meets are ALL day and the events her son is in are scattered throughout the day and usually over pretty quick (kind of like swim meets!). The impression I get from her is that it's a bit more tedious - she'll leave and go shop, or get her nails done. Something to pass the time. And again - she isn't really close to those parents, which I think plays a role.

IDK - I try to go to as much of DSs stuff. There have been a few scenarios where both DH and I have to miss. DS has always said he's fine with that, and I think he is. But I think it's also because he knows that we both try to be as at much of his stuff as we can be, that he understands that occasionally we have to miss.

ETA: I was focused on tournaments/ meets because I know they are all long.  For games - DS now just has school games and DH and I both go to those too as much as we can.  My schedule is very flexible so I can pretty much always go.  DH isn't AS flexible but luckily he has a boss who very much puts family first and totally supports DH leaving work early to make games. 

[cjcouple]

95% I have been at everything. Even if my boys had conflicts, DH & I split up and 1 would be there with each.

I personally would go to the regional track meet. To me that's a big deal to make it. I would never judge anyone for not going though. Not all parents can be at everything so I always make it a point to cheer for ALL teammates to fill in for those that can't be there for whatever reason.

[sugarbear1]

I would absolutely go.

DS1 plays club and school baseball. From March to August (and then again September to November), there are anywhere from two to six games per week. I go to as many as possible, and the only reasons I would not attend are work or DS2's activities (or a funeral).

There have been a couple travel tournaments that exH has gone to (sometimes we split and sometimes we both go) and I've used those opportunities to do something fun with just DS2.

[roo54]

My 11 yo DD is in lacrosse and my 8 yo DD is in soccer. I go to everything. The only time I miss is if both kids have something at the same time, and then DH and I divide and conquer.

[redheadk]

Not a sport but ballet. I do not miss any of DD’s performances, ever, including any that involve travel. Dh goes to the local ones on weekends but does not miss work to watch. When she was doing comps, he would watch the livestream though.

My mom was at pretty much all of my performances. I remember one occasion we attended a ballet festival out of state the same weekend one of my sisters competed in gymnastics regionals in a 3rd state. My mom watched my performance then took a very early flight to see my sister then flew back to see my next show (different piece).

I do think it’s totally ok to not be at every meet/game/performance, this is just what I choose. It’s mainly just important to be supportive and prioritize being there regularly.

[abs]

DD plays softball and is in band. Softball games are on the weekends and I haven’t missed one. Band is a bit tougher because there are events during the school day, after school, weekends, and sometimes contests aren’t close. I have made every concert but only half of the other things.

[fluffycookie]

1/2 season hockey I went to all the games because they were Saturday and Sunday. HS was rough because I missed almost a month of games because I was sick almost all of January. When the games were after work or on the weekend we were able to go, but the 4pm games after school were harder to make depending on our schedules.

[DotAndBuzz]

If it was doable, yes, I'd go.

Regionals is a big deal, so I'd do what I could to be there if it wouldn't be a hardship.

[jamaicam]

DS1 is in swimming, both club and school. Also in cricket but they rarely have matches.
DS2 is in soccer (club and school), track (school) and swimming (school).

I do not go to everything - I cannot! I tend to go to all school swim meets (as both kids are doing that), most school soccer matches (we have a great group of parents so that is fun); some club swim meets (often will ask him what races he wants me there for and go for those), some club soccer (that tends to be 2 day tournaments so I go for the semis and finals usually); and some track.

We are fortunate that most of the stuff is with 30 minutes of home so I can go for sme of a day.

This weekend is a track meet. DS2 is doing 800m, high jump and relays. He wants me to be there for his 800m which is the first race of the day, so I will go for that and then leave

[glitzy07]

I generally try to attend every game, if possible. Thankfully our family's main sport (hockey) is my most favorite sport so I actually enjoy going to the games. I don't love (or understand) soccer or lacrosse as much but I still try to be there for everything I can. My kids usually understand if I can't make it for whatever reason (work, appointments, H and I have to divide and conquer). But I wouldn't miss them for something like a friend get together if I could avoid it.

I only played sports in high school and my parents rarely came. I didn't necessarily mind it, but I really love seeing my kids play so I try to go and support and cheer them on.

That said, I sort of loathe watching individual sports. My SS did karate when he was younger and we went to a meet one time that was like 7 hours long and he was competing for about 15 minutes total the whole day. Those kill me and I'm really thankful that currently my kids are way more into team sports...

[thebreakfastclub]

I think I would try to attend but as I mentioned in the other sports post, tournaments seem so terrible.

I would be so miserable if I had to spend a majority of the summer at baseball games.

[circa1978]

Sports are H's thing. I've asked DS if he wants me to and he's disinterested. He's not intrinsically motivated to participate - it's all at H's behest - but if he was really, really interested/proud of course I'd be there. I'll be interested to see how this all develops now that he's in middle school.

[shortstax]

Agreed—making regionals is so rare. I would try to go and maybe take the younger child too to cheer her on.

Random question—most of the regular track meets are during the day? No wonder parent spectating is low. Do they miss school for meets?

[egishere]

I try to make everything but in the fall especially we often have overlapping times with football and soccer so DH and me have to divide and conquer. And then I've had to miss some soccer for other DDs dance competitions. For middle school basketball we weren't able to make the away games always but they have a bus.

[InBetweenDays]

Yes, we try to go to every game. Right now it's tough because both DD and DS are playing high school lacrosse so there are often conflicts. Then we divide and conquer as much as possible (with a slight edge to trying to see DD because it's her senior year). Plus lacrosse here relies on a TON of parent involvement because it's technically a "club" sport in our state (associated with that high school but gets no support from the district). So parents drive vans or carpools to away games since we don't get buses (drove 2 hours each way for a game Monday night), parents do the scoring and timing, etc. So this week we end up having 7 games and making it to 5.

Same with rec soccer in the fall. DD also did bowling for school and we never went to any of those matches. But that was just a kind of random fun thing she did with friends and I don't think any parents went.

When DD did travel lacrosse one of us went to all of the tournaments. We occasionally turned it into more of a vacation (especially if we flew cross country) so then all of us went.

[Stan]

I miss a lot because of my job. If I can go, I will always go. Right now mine is in soccer. Last time she played for about 45 seconds.

[penguingrrl]

I get to what I can. My oldest is a varsity swimmer and I go when I can. Unfortunately my son’s sensory issues mean I can’t bring him (he’s super sensitive to noise and couldn’t tolerate an indoor pool during a meet) so that limits my ability to get there if I can’t find a sitter. 99% of the meets are during the work day, so H gets to nothing since he doesn’t get home until 6.

[sunshineandpinot]

Apr 18, 2024 10:30:26 GMT -5 shortstax said:

Agreed—making regionals is so rare. I would try to go and maybe take the younger child too to cheer her on.

Random question—most of the regular track meets are during the day? No wonder parent spectating is low. Do they miss school for meets?

They do miss school for meets. It's not ideal; dd hates missing class. 

[jinkies]

Both my kids' competitions are infrequent. DD's are local, maybe once a month, and we try to both go. H has missed one or two though for various reasons.

DS's competitions are statewide and concentrated over the course of 8 weeks (so almost every weekend). Only one parent goes since it's an all-day, sometimes all-weekend, event and we have to balance other things.

[hermione]

I do not enjoy track but yes, I'd go. My DD throws shot put and does no running events. We've driven 90 minutes each way to watch her throw a ball three times and then be done for the day.

[InBetweenDays]

And to actually answer your question - if it's doable I'd try to make it work. And congrats to her!

[sunshineandpinot]

Alrighty! Looks like I'm driving to Houston lol. I bet the regional meet will be fun and it will be interesting to see how she stacks up against the other, older runners.
Thanks all, I was originally planning on going then started second guessing myself.
I did remember that I did miss a few HS volleyball games but they were 3-4 hours away (single game, not a tournament) and no regrets there. I made every other one.

[SusanBAnthony]

I go to maybe 25-50% of my kids sports/performances/competitions.

Usually H and I try to split stuff so one parent is there. But we miss most away swim meets, because it's just a pain in the butt. We would have to leave work early and then be driving and in traffic and at the meet up til 8-9 pm, then have to go make up time at work early the next morning. Not good for my mental health.

I know I'm an outlier on this but I need my down time. Sure my kids would like it if I came but they know we come when we reasonably can. I would probably go to regional, but grudgingly.

[wanderingback]

I did track and soccer growing up (only child) and generally my parents came to most things. That included tournaments, things far away, when I was only in 1 or 2 events for track, etc. I do remember times my dad would drive me and my mom would stay home (don’t remember the reasons if she gave them) but for the most part they were there and I did appreciate it.

In general in your situation I would try to go but it sounds like the logistics for this specific meet might be difficult? So if that’s the case then it’s ok to skip this time.

I don’t know what you do for work, but for me in general I won’t be taking off of work to attend my daughter’s events if they’re last minute, but my partner has a more flexible job. For me to take off work I usually give a 6 weeks notice at least cause otherwise patients have to be rescheduled. While work isn’t the most important thing in the world I do think it can also be important to be a good role model for kids being a working parent and deciding how to balance things.

[minniemouse]

We do our best to have at least 1 parent at each game/meet/comp/concert. Sometimes we are late because of work or dropping off a sibling somewhere else. My kids are 10 and 14. Younger dd does competitive dance. She’s in band and chorus at school as well. Teenage dd does cross country in the fall, lacrosse in spring/summer, and ice skating (currently on a break for that since lax gas become time consuming). She is also in band/chorus. The only sport we haven’t seen too many parents attend is cross country. The meets were kind of far away though.

[luckystar2]

I’ve gone to everything. We only have one kid so it makes it much easier. I haven’t had any issue that made attending a challenge.

Dd does gymnastics so it’s often hours at a meet to see her compete for like a total of 2 mins. But I really enjoy watching everyone else and her teammates.

Dd just joined track so I definitely understand the hours of a meet for very little actual competition time. But I would go in your situation since it’s a big meet for her. Ugh we just had an invitational that was hour away. She had 2 events but one ended up being cancelled because of the weather. So we spent hours waiting for her one event in the cold/wind. It sucked! If the weather looks nice that would make going to regionals easier!! But bad weather could sway me not to want to go, but I’d still go.

[styme46]

When oldest kid was playing for high school, we tried to get to as many as we could. Since we are a small rural school most of our away games for high school are 3+ hours away. We went to all the home games and all the close games but since we have the business, we didn't go to the away games unless they were regionals, district tournament, or state tournament.

So far, I've been to all of ds's middle school stuff, but they have their away games/meets much closer. We did go to a wrestling tournament this past weekend that was 3.5 hours away but that was only because he didn't have to be there until noon and it's our slow season, so we are closed and didn't have anyone staying here at the time. If we would've had guests, we wouldn't have gone. High school will be the same for ds as it was for dd... we'll attend when we can.

[luckystar2]

Apr 18, 2024 10:40:47 GMT -5 sunshineandpinot said:

Apr 18, 2024 10:30:26 GMT -5 shortstax said:

Agreed—making regionals is so rare. I would try to go and maybe take the younger child too to cheer her on.

Random question—most of the regular track meets are during the day? No wonder parent spectating is low. Do they miss school for meets?

They do miss school for meets. It's not ideal; dd hates missing class. 

Oh that stinks! Our track meets are in the evenings. We have a weekly local meet at 5 and then invitationals on the weekend during the day. My dd probably wouldn’t do track if she had to consistently miss class.