Obgyn office randoms

[Deleted]

A trip to the obgyns is always entertaining. Tell me your best/ worst story.

Here's mine: it is dn hard to pee in a cup while pregnant/ unable to see your vagina.

Also: my obgyn's nurse reminds me of a rat-terrier. I think she teases her hair a solid 4". I would pip if I could figure out a polite way to ask for a photograph!

[Deleted]

When I was 16/17 and pondering sexual activity I decided to ask my family doctor for a referral to an OB. Instead he was all "hang on," brought in the nurse and gave me my very first pap. Looking back it was real nice of him but I was SO not ready.

[GailGoldie]

not OB exactly, but getting my HSG test done the doc yells to the nurse - "I need a large speculum"... and I think "oh GREAT I have a large vagina!" but then he said "Oh, wait, the medium is working"... and i was relieved to know my vag was only a medium

[Awkward]

This didn't happen to me, but to my sister. She was seeing a new GYN for the first time. The nurse brings her into the exam room to wait and hands her a magazine from the rack on the wall as my sister gets up on the exam table. In a few minutes the doc comes into the room, introduces herself, and bends over to open the stirrups. My sister tries to reach over to put away the magazine. The rack is just a little too far, she starts to fall off the table, swings her leg out for balance, and kicks the GYN square in the jaw.

Luckily no one was hurt, but OMG I just about died when she told me this story. This kind of thing would ONLY happen to my sister.

[Pilsy]

Sept 26, 2012 15:16:03 GMT -5 Awkward said:

This didn't happen to me, but to my sister. She was seeing a new GYN for the first time. The nurse brings her into the exam room to wait and hands her a magazine from the rack on the wall as my sister gets up on the exam table. In a few minutes the doc comes into the room, introduces herself, and bends over to open the stirrups. My sister tries to reach over to put away the magazine. The rack is just a little too far, she starts to fall off the table, swings her leg out for balance, and kicks the GYN square in the jaw.

FTW!

My mom had her feet in stirrups and was making small talk with her doc and eventually said something like, "But they all look alike, anyway, right?" She was trying to comfort herself.
He said, "No, definitely not."


My doctor told me I have a beautiful cervix. That was a little weird. I didn't know whether to thank him. I mean, do I get to take credit for that?

[jennistarr1]

ok...TMI warning...I have 2 stories, you can enjoy the first and the look away for the 2nd...oh wait, there will be a bonus 3rd if you make it through 2nd

1st: My sister referred me and he sent her a thank you note...we could not make out if he signed it "fondly your or fondling yours"...dr's handwriting left this too close for comfort

2nd: I lactate, I have since the 11th grade...I told him about it during the breast exam and he said "oh, that's doubtful" as he gave my nipple a squeeze...sure enough, milk squirts out, shoots me in the eye...and the nurse held the clipboard over her head for protection. 1st appointment ever by the way

Bonus 3rd: After the above 1st GYN appointment ever...he sat me up and said "you smell like roses"

[jennistarr1]

Sept 26, 2012 15:04:37 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

I peed on my sweater the last time I was in my OB's office.

give us more

[StJess80]

One of my good friends is deathly afraid of going to the gyn, like panic attacks and all of that. She's also a 35 year old virgin, so I am sure that plays a part. Anyway, during one of her exams, she clenched down so hard, that she broke the speculum!!

I told her she may need to put a warning label on her vag in the future.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 15:37:53 GMT -5 StJess80 said:

One of my good friends is deathly afraid of going to the gyn, like panic attacks and all of that. She's also a 35 year old virgin, so I am sure that plays a part. Anyway, during one of her exams, she clenched down so hard, that she broke the speculum!!

I told her she may need to put a warning label on her vag in the future.

Woah! They should maybe give her a valium next time. I hate the speculum too but if you let the nurse know beforehand that you require extra gentle care it's not so bad.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 15:31:20 GMT -5 jennistarr1 said:

ok...TMI warning...I have 2 stories, you can enjoy the first and the look away for the 2nd...oh wait, there will be a bonus 3rd if you make it through 2nd

1st: My sister referred me and he sent her a thank you note...we could not make out if he signed it "fondly your or fondling yours"...dr's handwriting left this too close for comfort

2nd: I lactate, I have since the 11th grade...I told him about it during the breast exam and he said "oh, that's doubtful" as he gave my nipple a squeeze...sure enough, milk squirts out, shoots me in the eye...and the nurse held the clipboard over her head for protection. 1st appointment ever by the way

Bonus 3rd: After the above 1st GYN appointment ever...he sat me up and said "you smell like roses"

I am dying!!!!

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 15:41:51 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Sept 26, 2012 15:37:53 GMT -5 StJess80 said:

One of my good friends is deathly afraid of going to the gyn, like panic attacks and all of that. She's also a 35 year old virgin, so I am sure that plays a part. Anyway, during one of her exams, she clenched down so hard, that she broke the speculum!!

I told her she may need to put a warning label on her vag in the future.

Was it a crystal speculum or something? I toss those things aroun all the time and they seem pretty durable. Did she just push it out? Or broke it?

Super vag!!!!

[Deleted]

Another good one: the "congrats you're pregnant" pamphlet from the obgyn talks about all the things you can/can not do. Sex, exercise, etc. it also states, in BOLD print "DO NOT blow forcefully into the vagina."

I didn't know that was a thing...

[Pilsy]

Sept 26, 2012 15:55:46 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Another good one: the "congrats you're pregnant" pamphlet from the obgyn talks about all the things you can/can not do. Sex, exercise, etc. it also states, in BOLD print "DO NOT blow forcefully into the vagina."

I didn't know that was a thing...

Wow, I'm really going to miss that when I get pregnant.

[ellipses84]

At my first appt. with a midwife, she had terrible bedside manner and made negative comments about my bikini line. I keep my landing strip trim, not Brazilian or anything. I think it was a generational thing but you would think a person who sees vaginas all day would be used to variety and know that most 20-something's don't have a huge ungroomed bush.

She also told me misinformation about a category B drug so I complained to the clinic and requested to switch midwives.

[rikki]

I read an article in high school that scared the crap out of me. I think the general gist was that air up the vagina could travel to your heart and kill you. I can't remember the exact details but I was so scared of oral sex for years. Thanks a lot, Cosmo.

[Pilsy]

Sept 26, 2012 16:16:35 GMT -5 rikki said:

I read an article in high school that scared the crap out of me. I think the general gist was that air up the vagina could travel to your heart and kill you. I can't remember the exact details but I was so scared of oral sex for years. Thanks a lot, Cosmo.

If I had read that, I'd have been scared, too. Not necessarily of dying, but of dying and then having people know it was as a result of oral sex gone wrong.

[slug*bug]

Sept 26, 2012 16:13:11 GMT -5 ellipses84 said:

At my first appt. with a midwife, she had terrible bedside manner and made negative comments about my bikini line.

Wow: how unprofessional of her.

[sprky79]

My favorite GYN was this Nurse Practioner in college. She looked like a stepford wife, was perky as hell, and her name was Mitzy. Who doesn't love a Mitsy!

[badtzmaru22]

I had to take the three hour glucose test for gestational diabetes, and the lab was downstairs from my OB's office. I went to the lab, drank the drink, and then went upstairs for my appointment in between blood draws. I started to feel ill in the waiting room, and laid down in the fetal position on the exam table once I got back in the room.

All of a sudden I knew I was going to lose it, and before I could make it to the sink, I projectile vomited ALL OVER. It was just straight glucose drink, since you do the test on an empty stomach, but it was all over the walls---- I have never puked so much or so violently in my life. And it didn't even matter that I eventually made it to the sink, because it was coming it so forcefully it just splashed back up at me. Poor OB walked in in the middle of this chaos, but kept her distance.

And of course if you puke, the test is invalid, so I had to repeat it a few days later. My OB gave me zofran, which helped.

[biscoffcookies]

The OB from my practice who delivered DD was not one that I had ever seen before. As she performed the first cervical check at the hospital, she says, "you have a beautiful pelvis."

Regardless of my apparently birth-friendly pelvis and hips, it still took 3 hours of pushing to deliver DD due to her huge head, which measured in something like the 97th percentile.

[6fsn]

This was in the waiting room. A random jr high aged girl sat down beside me and started telling me she was there with her sisterwho was in the 9th grade and having sex. The mom was making the sister get tested and get bc. That was a little too much info then she started telling me the names of the boys sister had slept with. I didn't know this girl, her sister, or any of the boys, but this was a town of 10k people. It was random I didn't know one of the families.

At my last appt. the doc's phone went off. Her ringtone was Dancing Queen.

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 17:59:42 GMT -5 biscoffcookies said:

The OB from my practice who delivered DD was not one that I had ever seen before. As she performed the first cervical check at the hospital, she says, "you have a beautiful pelvis."

I have never received this "compliment." Makes me wonder what a non-beautiful pelvis looks.... wait. No. No that's not an image I want to see!

[londoncalling]

Meeting my new ob for the first time he had me stand up and spin around. Then he said "oh we aren't going to have any problems getting a baby out of you. Look at your hips and pelvic structure!" Thanks?

Another time he also told me and dh some dirty jokes after my appointment. Dh thought it was unprofessional while I was in tears laughing. I truly really like this doctor he's quirky and made my appointments interesting.

Eta: fix typo

[birdmom]

At my 38 week appointment, I peed in the cup and then dropped it in the toilet. Its impossible to see down there when you're so huge!

[froggy76]

My GYN in college told me I got the "cervix of the day" award.

When I was pg, I saw a new, young doctor for my 39w appt. She did an internal exam that hurt like a mofo and she just kept saying, "I can't find it, I can't find it." (I think she was looking for my cervix?) She was on call when I went into labor, but luckily DD stayed put until the next shift.

[dirtyred]

Sept 26, 2012 15:55:46 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Another good one: the "congrats you're pregnant" pamphlet from the obgyn talks about all the things you can/can not do. Sex, exercise, etc. it also states, in BOLD print "DO NOT blow forcefully into the vagina."

I didn't know that was a thing...

We had a woman who repeatedly had free air in her abdomen, a couple of times so bad that she required surgery to remove it. The resident had to get a really detailed sexual history (he said he didn't know whose face was redder--his or the patient's) and it turns out that her FI liked to blow air in her vagina, apparently hard enough that it entered her uterus and then escaped out into her pelvic and abdominal cavities.

[StJess80]

Sept 26, 2012 15:45:30 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Sept 26, 2012 15:41:51 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Was it a crystal speculum or something? I toss those things aroun all the time and they seem pretty durable. Did she just push it out? Or broke it?

Super vag!!!!

No kidding! I told her to never tell any man that, because that is NOT a power that will be looked fondly upon.

According to what she told me, she didn't push it out, she clenched and broke it. The dr pulled it out, looked at it in a confused manner and threw it away.

[beans]

In my first appointment, my gyno had trouble finding my cervix I guess and told me that I was put together like the CIA put me together...

At my most recent one, I was super nervous and sweating a lot, and my heart rate was high (this was commented on like 4 times) and I ripped the stupid paper gown completely in half - so I had like to giant sleeves flopping around while trying to keep it closed in the front and my ass having out in the back, while the Dr was talking about everything possible while I sat their awkwardly. The nurse came in and out, and the clinic director came in accidentally. Then when the good shit was going down, the clinic director came back in and the Dr (resident) and nurse were all in there. It was awesome. And they just kept bringing up my high heart rate and anxiety, which made it worse.

ETA and I saw this doodle on a paper in the corner which was hilarious!

[Deleted]

Sept 26, 2012 19:46:11 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

Sept 26, 2012 15:55:46 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

Another good one: the "congrats you're pregnant" pamphlet from the obgyn talks about all the things you can/can not do. Sex, exercise, etc. it also states, in BOLD print "DO NOT blow forcefully into the vagina."

I didn't know that was a thing...

We had a woman who repeatedly had free air in her abdomen, a couple of times so bad that she required surgery to remove it. The resident had to get a really detailed sexual history (he said he didn't know whose face was redder--his or the patient's) and it turns out that her FI liked to blow air in her vagina, apparently hard enough that it entered her uterus and then escaped out into her pelvic and abdominal cavities.

I DO NOT understand how someone could find sexual pleasure/ arousal from blowing into/ having a vag blown into. What. The. Hell.

[Deleted]

I don't have a cervix, uterus, or ovaries. I explained this on a first visit to the nurse, who promptly laughed and then said "no, really...when was your last menstrual cycle?".