My random is I wonder how many of these DH's go out of the marriage to get what they aren't getting from their wives.
lol.
additional random: I feel sorry for people whose minds automatically go here. what a sad, sad way to look at commitment.
My perusal of CL casual encounters (for entertainment) has been eye opening. There are a lot of married scumbags. And closet gays, based on the number of "my wife's OOT" posts looking for BJs from dudes.
Post by emilyinchile on Oct 16, 2012 13:46:33 GMT -5
Flygirl, I don't think it's weird. For some people physical intimacy is super important as a way to show love and affection, and if that's the case for your H, I can see why he would feel sad that he felt a lack of affection from his wife on his birthday (not that I think you weren't affectionate - hopefully you know what I mean here). It's not like he had a tantrum over "just" a BJ.
additional random: I feel sorry for people whose minds automatically go here. what a sad, sad way to look at commitment.
My perusal of CL casual encounters (for entertainment) has been eye opening. There are a lot of married scumbags. And closet gays, based on the number of "my wife's OOT" posts looking for BJs from dudes.
What's sad Tacom, is depriving your partner of something they enjoy. I agree with the poster that said it was grounds for divorce. I'm not thinking only oral sex here either, I'm thinking something as simple as them not supporting my hobby or whatever.
Additionally, men look at sex different. I would bet a million dollars that a man who hasn't received a BJ in years would take one in a heartbeat from a lady if they thought they could get away with it.
My perusal of CL casual encounters (for entertainment) has been eye opening. There are a lot of married scumbags. And closet gays, based on the number of "my wife's OOT" posts looking for BJs from dudes.
What's sad Tacom, is depriving your partner of something they enjoy. I agree with the poster that said it was grounds for divorce. I'm not thinking only oral sex here either, I'm thinking something as simple as them not supporting my hobby or whatever.
Additionally, men look at sex different. I would bet a million dollars that a man who hasn't received a BJ in years would take one in a heartbeat from a lady if they thought they could get away with it.
in a perfect world, my sexual interests would align perfectly with my SO's. unfortunately, I have a strong aversion to putting my mouth around someone's dick, so we find other ways to be intimate. I don't think anyone is deprived here. if he did truly feel deprived (and not just oh man I wish tacom would blow me - but actually feeling like something is missing in our partnership through lack of BJs), he could very easily ask me to leave. I don't pay rent, can't offer any $$ to our household, and do minimal housework since starting grad school. it's not like he's trapped here or something.
my SO works weird hours and travels frequently for work - he could probably get away with cheating if he wanted to. I guess I have enough trust in our partnership that I hope he values the love, trust, and intimacy we've built over the years more than he values a warm mouth around his peen. if it ever got to the point where that wasn't true, I hope he would come to me and let me know. I also chose a partner I respect as a person, so it's easy for me to have a little faith in him to do the right thing.
either way, I value my choice as an autonomous individual to not do something with my body that I'm physically uncomfortable with. I feel sorry for women who suggest that participating in a physical act you do not want to participate in is necessary to prevent infidelity. again, what a sad, sad way to look at commitment.
What's sad Tacom, is depriving your partner of something they enjoy. I agree with the poster that said it was grounds for divorce. I'm not thinking only oral sex here either, I'm thinking something as simple as them not supporting my hobby or whatever.
Additionally, men look at sex different. I would bet a million dollars that a man who hasn't received a BJ in years would take one in a heartbeat from a lady if they thought they could get away with it.
in a perfect world, my sexual interests would align perfectly with my SO's. unfortunately, I have a strong aversion to putting my mouth around someone's dick, so we find other ways to be intimate. I don't think anyone is deprived here. if he did truly feel deprived (and not just oh man I wish tacom would blow me - but actually feeling like something is missing in our partnership through lack of BJs), he could very easily ask me to leave. I don't pay rent, can't offer any $$ to our household, and do minimal housework since starting grad school. it's not like he's trapped here or something.
my SO works weird hours and travels frequently for work - he could probably get away with cheating if he wanted to. I guess I have enough trust in our partnership that I hope he values the love, trust, and intimacy we've built over the years more than he values a warm mouth around his peen. if it ever got to the point where that wasn't true, I hope he would come to me and let me know. I also chose a partner I respect as a person, so it's easy for me to have a little faith in him to do the right thing.
either way, I value my choice as an autonomous individual to not do something with my body that I'm physically uncomfortable with. I feel sorry for women who suggest that participating in a physical act you do not want to participate in is necessary to prevent infidelity. again, what a sad, sad way to look at commitment.
I'm playing devil's advocate here. But don't you think that everyone woman (or man) that has been cheated on thought the same thing? That they could and do trust their partners and chose someone they respected and would respect them back? That it would never happen to them.
I'm just saying that it's a lot more common than people like to believe.
Also, I didn't say it was necessary to prevent infidelity. I know people who have great sex lives and still cheat. People cheat for a variety of reasons and it's not always directly related to sex.
My perusal of CL casual encounters (for entertainment) has been eye opening. There are a lot of married scumbags. And closet gays, based on the number of "my wife's OOT" posts looking for BJs from dudes.
What's sad Tacom, is depriving your partner of something they enjoy. I agree with the poster that said it was grounds for divorce. I'm not thinking only oral sex here either, I'm thinking something as simple as them not supporting my hobby or whatever.
Additionally, men look at sex different. I would bet a million dollars that a man who hasn't received a BJ in years would take one in a heartbeat from a lady if they thought they could get away with it.
I feel like your experiences are really limited and perhaps you don't have maturity enough to speak to what happens in relationships. People compromise because they love each other, if giving oral is something that your partner doesn't like, then rational people understand and find other ways to be fulfilled. But you aren't rational, so I am sure this doesn't make sense to you.
What's sad Tacom, is depriving your partner of something they enjoy. I agree with the poster that said it was grounds for divorce. I'm not thinking only oral sex here either, I'm thinking something as simple as them not supporting my hobby or whatever.
Additionally, men look at sex different. I would bet a million dollars that a man who hasn't received a BJ in years would take one in a heartbeat from a lady if they thought they could get away with it.
I feel like your experiences are really limited and perhaps you don't have maturity enough to speak to what happens in relationships. People compromise because they love each other, if giving oral is something that your partner doesn't like, then rational people understand and find other ways to be fulfilled. But you aren't rational, so I am sure this doesn't make sense to you.
Perhaps. I don't know anyone in a successful relationship. I also know far too many people who cheat, have been cheated, act a mistress/sugar baby, etc. The one thing in common, they all have great marriages and would never leave but for some reason or another they are cheating.
So, if one day I come post here about my husband cheating on me you all are just going tell me it's my fault? :-(
For me, I know that it makes DH feel good, and I personally want to work on trying to do something that I don't necessarily love doing to make him happy. I am not perfect, and I am working on it.
"Men will be men" if their wife doesn't give them what they want? All men would cheat if this were the case, sorry, no one is completely satisfied all.the.time.
I don't think it's an excuse to cheat if you knew what you were getting yourself into. I'm just honestly shocked that people would marry someone who won't do it. It's such a simple and spectacular thing, IMO, and I can't imagine deciding to live without it for the rest of my life. If my husband just didn't want to he likely would not have ended up being my husband.
Post by peppermint08 on Oct 16, 2012 15:15:42 GMT -5
Can I jump in the conversation?
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
I honestly don't know. It just gets me all hot and bothered. Sometimes I fantasize about giving a bj when masturbating. The funny thing is I rarely give one (like on his bday maybe) because he has little stamina (a bj is like 2mins and bam done) and I prefer to save him for sex.
ETA: flygirl: is it something you'd like to enjoy doing if the problem of smell etc could be fixed? Or does the whole idea turn you off. And no, I don't think for a minute "men will be men" is an excuse to cheat. Bliss just has a very low opinion of commitment as I'm realizing today. The rest of us would offer to attack with pitchforks if your (or any other h cheated)
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
I like giving my lover pleasure, it's a bit of a power thing too. It also really turns me on knowing that they are turned on.
I will say that Giant will occasionally hold off because "it feels so good" and he doesn't want me to stop so maybe you aren't doing anything wrong.
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
Use more hand if your mouth is tired. It'll speed things up.
I don't think it's an excuse to cheat if you knew what you were getting yourself into. I'm just honestly shocked that people would marry someone who won't do it. It's such a simple and spectacular thing, IMO, and I can't imagine deciding to live without it for the rest of my life. If my husband just didn't want to he likely would not have ended up being my husband.
I think this is a really simplistic way of looking at it. From the outside, there are a lot of things about other people's relationships that are difficult to comprehend. I got a lot of amazement/flack/curiosity about the fact that I married someone of a different religion and, to boot, who votes for a different political party than I do. I know it's mind-boggling to people for whom religion or politics are a central part of their lives (as important as sex for some people I know IRL), but if it was such a big deal to us, we wouldn't have married each other.
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
This is exactly my problem. Dude ... I like giving you a bj every now and again, but if you take so long I get cramps in my face ... I will put it off next time. Because I do NOT like face cramps. Also, it makes me wonder if I suck (pun not necessarily intentional) at the bj since it DOES take so long.
My confession is that confession posts always make me feel so lame. I'm a goody goody rule follower to the core. Dh used to make me nervous in uni because he'd always get into mischief.
I feel very bad about this, but I have a favorite child.
THANK YOU!! I do too
Are your favorites static or do they shift? I find that at any given time I tend to find myself favoring one of my kids, but who I favor tends to change. I think I really just prefer some phases/ages over others.
My confession is that confession posts always make me feel so lame. I'm a goody goody rule follower to the core. Dh used to make me nervous in uni because he'd always get into mischief.
Are your favorites static or do they shift? I find that at any given time I tend to find myself favoring one of my kids, but who I favor tends to change. I think I really just prefer some phases/ages over others.
This may be what is causing it. It will be interesting to see as the girls grow older.
My "juicy" confession: DH and I like to have sex outdoors. We live hear the Blue Ridge Parkway, so a few times a year we'll head out in his convertible and find an isolated area to, ahem, enjoy.