My confession is that I'm such a prude when it comes to sex. I'm so embarrased to talk about it that I can't even participate in the sex related threads.
My sex life is beyond boring and I'm a big responsible for that but I don't know how to iniciate more or be more relaxed. Any suggestions?
Are your favorites static or do they shift? I find that at any given time I tend to find myself favoring one of my kids, but who I favor tends to change. I think I really just prefer some phases/ages over others.
This may be what is causing it. It will be interesting to see as the girls grow older.
Yes, I do sometimes but not always. It's vey difficult for me to get in the mood. And then, when we're doing it, it's hard to be less shy and self- concious. I guess I have a hard time seeing me in a sexual way.
To the girls that love giving, why do you love it? I wouldn't mind if the spouse would hurry up but I will be down there forever and after awhile a girl gets tired. Maybe I am doing it wrong I guess.
It makes me feel powerful and sexy. And I love that he nearly passes out almost every time. I haven't been with a ton of people - but he's also the only one I've ever known who needs almost no recovery time. So he can finish and we can jump right back on to other things. Or that again. ;D
I hope you do, because I'm serious. I used to be more self-conscious during sex and never fully let myself get into it.
a couple years ago (when SO and I first moved in together), I started unwinding in the evening with a scented bubble bath, candles, and a glass or two of wine. anything that helps me let go of stress and makes me feel sexy definitely enriches the whole experience and helps me step out of my shell. I still look forward to wine-infused weekends, and SO knows it's going to be a good night when I shower or bathe in the evening. lol.
Bunny- How about dimming the lights, drinking a glass of wine and getting a little dressed up to feel less conscious (sexy hair, sexy makeup, etc).
This. Maybe a massage or something to get you all ready.
Do you watch New Girl? There was an episode a few weeks back where Jess needed an "emotional fluffer" before casual sex. Maybe you need something similar; ie emotional fluffing to feel more connected/sexy prior to sex.
Champagna, that's got to be tough on you. But you are a wonderful mom and I'm willing to bet money that no one would ever guess that you have a favorite.
Bunny- How about dimming the lights, drinking a glass of wine and getting a little dressed up to feel less conscious (sexy hair, sexy makeup, etc).
Thanks for the help! I've tried that in the past and helped but it's been a long, long time since then. Maybe I should try again and see what happens, but it's so hard for me because I don't feel attractive and I almost feel silly when I try to be more sexy. It's ridiculous because I've been with my H for almost 8 years, but I feel embarrased in bed.
I hope you do, because I'm serious. I used to be more self-conscious during sex and never fully let myself get into it.
a couple years ago (when SO and I first moved in together), I started unwinding in the evening with a scented bubble bath, candles, and a glass or two of wine. anything that helps me let go of stress and makes me feel sexy definitely enriches the whole experience and helps me step out of my shell. I still look forward to wine-infused weekends, and SO knows it's going to be a good night when I shower or bathe in the evening. lol.
The bath is a great idea also! it could definitely help me unwind and be more relaxed before sex actually starts. Thank you very much for your suggestions and for sharing your experience, it makes me hopeful that I can do better!
Bunny- How about dimming the lights, drinking a glass of wine and getting a little dressed up to feel less conscious (sexy hair, sexy makeup, etc).
This. Maybe a massage or something to get you all ready.
Do you watch New Girl? There was an episode a few weeks back where Jess needed an "emotional fluffer" before casual sex. Maybe you need something similar; ie emotional fluffing to feel more connected/sexy prior to sex.
No, I don't watch that show but it's true that I need to feel more sexy prior to sex. It's curious because I have a great connection with my H, we're best friends and have a awesome relationship, but we don't have much of a sexual connection. Do you have any suggestions for that? thanks in advance!
This. Maybe a massage or something to get you all ready.
Do you watch New Girl? There was an episode a few weeks back where Jess needed an "emotional fluffer" before casual sex. Maybe you need something similar; ie emotional fluffing to feel more connected/sexy prior to sex.
No, I don't watch that show but it's true that I need to feel more sexy prior to sex. It's curious because I have a great connection with my H, we're best friends and have a awesome relationship, but we don't have much of a sexual connection. Do you have any suggestions for that? thanks in advance!
How affectionate are you guys normally? I know that whenever I date a guy, he's constantly grabbing my ass. That alone makes me feel sexy and wanted. Or Giant will squeeze my inner thigh if we're sitting next to each other but still at work.
If you aren't affectionate outside the bedroom that's where I'd start. More hugs, more little kisses, swats on the ass, etc.
Oh another thing that could help. Role playing. Or simply adding a wig. You won't "feel" like yourself and might be able to let loose a little more.
The bath is a great idea also! it could definitely help me unwind and be more relaxed before sex actually starts. Thank you very much for your suggestions and for sharing your experience, it makes me hopeful that I can do better!
I'm happy to help! and remember - "doing better" just means giving yourself more pleasure/enjoyment. one of the plus sides may be making your partner happy or feeling more connected, but don't put that pressure on yourself.
clear your mind as much as possible and focus on what makes your body feel good. this is like the best homework assignment ever, lol.
No, I don't watch that show but it's true that I need to feel more sexy prior to sex. It's curious because I have a great connection with my H, we're best friends and have a awesome relationship, but we don't have much of a sexual connection. Do you have any suggestions for that? thanks in advance!
How affectionate are you guys normally? I know that whenever I date a guy, he's constantly grabbing my ass. That alone makes me feel sexy and wanted. Or Giant will squeeze my inner thigh if we're sitting next to each other but still at work.
If you aren't affectionate outside the bedroom that's where I'd start. More hugs, more little kisses, swats on the ass, etc.
Oh another thing that could help. Role playing. Or simply adding a wig. You won't "feel" like yourself and might be able to let loose a little more.
Yes, we're affectionate, but not in a sexual way. I feel for my H, because he usually tries to touch me, for example when making dinner and I reject him 100% of the time. I honestly would like to relax and be affectionate in a sexual way but I just feel akward and I can't enjoy it.
Lol at the wig but I get the concept, and I might try it!
The bath is a great idea also! it could definitely help me unwind and be more relaxed before sex actually starts. Thank you very much for your suggestions and for sharing your experience, it makes me hopeful that I can do better!
I'm happy to help! and remember - "doing better" just means giving yourself more pleasure/enjoyment. one of the plus sides may be making your partner happy or feeling more connected, but don't put that pressure on yourself.
clear your mind as much as possible and focus on what makes your body feel good. this is like the best homework assignment ever, lol.
Lol, you're a great teacher that gives wonderful asignments!
I understand what you're saying and believe me that's why I asked for suggestions. I don't just want to improve my marriage, but I also want to feel more comfortable with myself.
Post by sweetnsour on Oct 16, 2012 18:01:11 GMT -5
bunnysmom, You need to find ways to feel good about yourself. Focus on your positive features. I can guarantee you, when your DH is getting busy with you, he isn't paying attention to anything but pleasuring you!!!!
I need my children to go to sleep so my DH and I have more "alone" time!
Post by orchideous on Oct 16, 2012 18:43:49 GMT -5
I used to think that girls who complained about horrible cramps and insane cravings during their period were dramatic. My last 3 cycles have been HORRIBLE. I have a heating pack on my back and a jar a peanut butter in front of me as I type this. Don't judge.
Post by hannamaren on Oct 16, 2012 18:54:50 GMT -5
Orchid, I thought the peanut butter was for the cramps and I didnt get how the jar pressed on your front would help. Lol I dont like peanutbutter so I didnt get it.
I have never and will never do anal. Have the people who dont do oral Tried anal?
An old coworker invited me to her wedding shower. She ended up having to change the date and I was unable to go. I just found out I wasn't invited to her wedding. I'm pretty upset. Up until she got engaged this year, we were constantly hanging out. I was one of the few friends she could actually depend on. After she got engaged, we didn't get to hang out, but we still talked a lot. Now it is almost like she is avoiding me. Whatever. Be a bitch.