I started to date about 4 months into my separation. As long as you've been in counseling and working through your issues, I think it's fine. I also think your lunch is fine, since he doesn't live in town and you've been honest that you're not looking for anything.
J is all about fb and wants to make us fb official. I feel funny about that since I still can't even file for divorce for another month. Still, it's pretty obvious that we're together.
And he just posted something about me spending the night, which I also feel a little weird about.
Post by crapsmcgee on Oct 19, 2012 10:14:35 GMT -5
I'm not a fb fan. If someone was posting about us spending the night together I wouldn't like it. But I'm a weirdo when it comes to fb. I don't like it at all. Which might be flamefull in itself.
J is all about fb and wants to make us fb official. I feel funny about that since I still can't even file for divorce for another month. Still, it's pretty obvious that we're together.
And he just posted something about me spending the night, which I also feel a little weird about.
FF and I were dating exclusively for 2 months before his divorce was finalized. After his was finalized he changed his marital to status to “In a relationship” but didn’t tag me since I had another 3 months until my divorce was final. The day mine was finalized I changed my status as well, and tagged him. People who knew us well knew what was going on, although it did make me feel weird for those people saw “Oh, PiP is divorced and the next day she’s in a relationship with FF???” But, it is what it is. We already had many pictures of us together on FB so I’m sure it didn’t come as surprise to most.
So there's this guy who I've known FOREVER. He just found out about six weeks ago that his wife has been cheating on him. He has a 2 year old daughter and is devastated.
I went over to his parents house (he lives 3 hours away) to talk to him last Sat. night and be there for him as a friend. He was reallly appreciative of it and was happy to speak with someone who could relate to all that he's going through, etc.
So we've been communicating a little since then. He wants to come up again in two weeks and go out. I know it's too soon for him but I agreed...and if it goes well I definitely plan on telling him that he needs to make sure that he's in the right head space to date. I wouldn't want to be the recipient of a rebound in any way, shape or form.
But damn, I keep thinking about him and comparing EVERYONE I date to him since we talked. He's definitely the WHOLE package. Has a great career, a wonderful father, super fun and outgoing, hilarious, just an overall GREAT guy.
Since my separation, I have nearly tripled my number of guys I've slept with. But I also recently hit double digits. Not sure what that makes me...
I was told that one of my friends has been saying some bad stuff about me behind my back. They won't say who, but just hearing that... I had a name pop in my head, which is sad.
Post by prettyinpearls on Oct 19, 2012 10:49:18 GMT -5
Ohhhh, Achase this is dangerous. Very, very dangerous. The man found out 6 weeks ago that his wife was cheating on him! But….you already know this. He’s not going to know if he’s in the right head place to date – all he’ll know is this beautiful, amazing woman is giving him the time of day and taking away from the pain of what his wife did to him.
This is a bad idea and you know it, but you don’t need us to tell you that.
Ohhhh, Achase this is dangerous. Very, very dangerous. The man found out 6 weeks ago that his wife was cheating on him! But….you already know this. He’s not going to know if he’s in the right head place to date – all he’ll know is this beautiful, amazing woman is giving him the time of day and taking away from the pain of what his wife did to him.
This is a bad idea and you know it, but you don’t need us to tell you that.
Post by blondnearby on Oct 19, 2012 10:53:55 GMT -5
I went on a date with a guy last night just to go out. We both actually had a really good time and he already asked me out again for tonight. I can see us having the potential to actually have a relationship. However, I don't think I am ready to be in a relationship at the moment but don't want to pass up an opportunity, should it present itself. But hey, I am hyper-aware of the mistakes I made last time and am in counseling. Eh, who am I kidding. It will probably fizzle out and die early next week.
Ohhhh, Achase this is dangerous. Very, very dangerous. The man found out 6 weeks ago that his wife was cheating on him! But….you already know this. He’s not going to know if he’s in the right head place to date – all he’ll know is this beautiful, amazing woman is giving him the time of day and taking away from the pain of what his wife did to him.
This is a bad idea and you know it, but you don’t need us to tell you that.
I can't tell if this is flameful or not without specific numbers, lol.
This!
If you only slept with, say, 3 guys last year thats NBD. However,if you slept with like 15 guys...then we might have some flaming to do
I just can't get the flames up for sleeping around, as long as you were safe and protected yourself, get down with it! You are an adult, hopefully these men are adults ( ) so, do what you want!
Bern-yeah, I'd keep tings off FB until your divorce is final. Facebook crap gets dragged into court all the time now days.
Achase, your situation sounds very similar to what happened with me and the dude. I have to saw if you REALLY like this guy, you need to keep your distance right now and not put yourself in situations to become "dangerous." I know it's hard and I speak from my own regret. I think he sounds like an awesome prospect for like maybe a year from now, but if you do anything now, you'll ruin that potential.
Oh and my confession. I really like one of the dude's friends. And I know that he likes me because he asked the dude if he would mind if he asked me out (a mutual friend told me). But he's really shy and hasn't done anything. Professionally we work in similar fields so I think I'm going to ask him to drinks under the guise of "picking his brain."
Achase, your situation sounds very similar to what happened with me and the dude. I have to saw if you REALLY like this guy, you need to keep your distance right now and not put yourself in situations to become "dangerous." I know it's hard and I speak from my own regret. I think he sounds like an awesome prospect for like maybe a year from now, but if you do anything now, you'll ruin that potential.
I totally agree and appreciate your perspective a lot.
The good thing is that we're good enough friends that I can communicate this to him without worrying he'll take it the wrong way.
Achase, your situation sounds very similar to what happened with me and the dude. I have to saw if you REALLY like this guy, you need to keep your distance right now and not put yourself in situations to become "dangerous." I know it's hard and I speak from my own regret. I think he sounds like an awesome prospect for like maybe a year from now, but if you do anything now, you'll ruin that potential.
I totally agree and appreciate your perspective a lot.
The good thing is that we're good enough friends that I can communicate this to him without worrying he'll take it the wrong way.
Yea I think that's totally a good way to go. I know I started out being very strong and all like "we're just gonna be friends." But then I totally became his rock and emotional support and once that bond and emotional intimacy was there it was much harder to resist the physical stuff. Just looking out! I know I totally kick myself for the way I handled that whole mess.