We TRY to get out at least 1x per month without DS. Sometimes we get out 2-3x per month, but then we did a stretch of like 1.5 months because we were just SO busy.
We really need to make an effort to get out more without him, its been very stressful on our marriage not having enough alone time. We DO get some alone time after DS goes to bed at 7, but we usually just zone out in front of the TV. I'm going to start making a better effort for us to actually connect at that time.
This has been a big issue for us. We have made an agreement to have a date night every 2 weeks without DS. The lack of going out alone is one of our underlying issues in our marriage right now.
Post by savannah11 on Oct 30, 2012 11:13:00 GMT -5
We just hired a babysitter to go out every other Friday. We have no family in the area so we haven't gone out more than once or twice a year in the past 5 years. Our marriage is good but I feel like we'd both benefit from more time alone.
We don't really. Maybe twice a month since DD was born. It'smostly my fault. It's just that by the time Friday night rolls around I am beat. I don't know why I am so exhausted all the time. We should probably be better about doing a weekly date night though.
Post by Ashley&Scott on Oct 30, 2012 11:13:31 GMT -5
In 9.5mo we've been out alone 3 times. Twice my mom babysat, once we had an afternoon date while DS was at daycare. (all three occasions were for a few hours, we haven't done any overnights or trips)
This reminds me we should make it a point to have a date night at least once a month.
We go out anywhere between 2-4x's per month sans kids. 3/4 of the time, the boys are already in bed (they're down by 7:30), and the babysitter is just "monitor watching". The other 1/4 of the time, it's one of my parents watching them while they're awake so they get in some grandparent time.
No, we don't get out a lot. We should though (although it's very MM to not go out, ha!). In the 4.5 years that we have had kids, we've been on one week-long vacation. We also do a weekend away for Christmas shopping every year and the kids stay with the grandparents a couple other weekends per year. Initially it was due to my crazy work schedule, now it's just become routine I suppose.
Date night out simply doesn't happen unless it is a work-related function. We're only about 45 minutes away from family, but it is just far enough to make a one-night babysitting deal cumbersome. We've been working on setting up babysitters in our area.
However, we do see friends fairly often and have people over for dinner (not quite the same as getting out, but good social interaction anyway). Also, the boys go to bed between 7 and 7:30 so we have every evening together, though often times we end up doing housework. We do "date night in" at least once or twice per week (t.v., a movie, a board game, etc.). It works well for us for the time being.
We go out after DS is in bed once or twice a month. DH has family in town, so his mom or brother or my BFF can usually babysit for us. We've hired a random teenager once, so now I guess we have a babysitter.
Haven't done any trips yet; I think I would if DS would sleep, but I hate subjecting someone else to his screams.
I would say we usually get out without them about once a month, sometimes more. We also get yummy take out and watch a movie for "date night at home" after the kids are asleep on Saturday nights. Our problem is that we tend to schedule babysitters for events (parties, friends' b-day dinners, etc.), which means we end up rarely getting as sitter so that the two of us can just go to dinner alone.
I'll add my MIL & sister both take all the kids for sleep overs at their houses--about once a month. Usually DH & I just got out & come home like normal.
Now that we live closer to my parents we go out usually once a month so they can watch them. Or I trade off babysitting with a friend that lives nearby-always after our kids are in bed though. I can't wait for my kids to get older so we can drop them off at my parents for the night-haha!
So far we have only left them overnight once. We have both had to travel for work/fun and left them but one of us stays home which is a beating. My DH went to a college FB game out of town a few weeks ago and I was alone with them all weekend. I went out of town this past weekend and he managed to weasel out of keeping them the whole time-got the nanny to come on Fri for most of the day and then my parents on Sun morning so he could fly to Phoenix for another fb game...grrrr! We are planning on going somewhere next year together probably for at least 4 nights.
When we don't have a baby in the house we try to take one couple vacation a year.
We are lucky to have two sets of eager grandparents to do the overnight stuff. It was a priority before children that we try to get away to be adults regularly. It has done wonders for us to stay connected.
Post by sarahlindsay on Oct 30, 2012 11:52:42 GMT -5
We need to be way better about this. We don't have scheduled nights out w/o DD, which we're starting up in November - much of our time out, when we're out, is solo with one of us at home. Weddings have been our only nights out together recently (1 in September, 1 in October).
Post by hilwithonelary on Oct 30, 2012 12:00:28 GMT -5
We hardly ever get out alone We live far from our families, and we haven't looked for a babysitter. We've been out once since DD was born. We were visiting home, and DH's parents watched the kids for an afternoon.
Yes, & often. My parents love having him for overnights or to take him for a full Saturday. MIL will watch him for a couple hours at a time as well, so we've done dinners out, movies, met up with friends, etc.
We do maybe once every 2 months. Honestly, it should be more and we wish it was more but we don't have family close by, and we are living on a very tight budget while we save up for a new house. We simply cannot afford a $10/hour sitter as often as we would like. We do plenty of fun date-type nights at home though.
As for taking trips, we haven't taken any trips just the two of us but I have taken a few solo trips which has been nice. Again, we would totally do it if we had grandparents or other free childcare living locally where they could watch her, but since we do not, budget doesn't allow.
Post by luvmagoldn on Oct 30, 2012 12:12:16 GMT -5
No but we keep saying we are going to do better.
We went to a pop up restaurant opening last week and have a no kids birthday party in November. Maybe we will make it a 2013 resolution.
As for traveling, we spent a weekend at a hotel in DC in August. We hadn't spent the night without the kids in five years. Not good but that's how it shook out.
We are planning to go back to Italy next fall for our anniversary. The thought of lining someone up to take care of all three while getting them to two different schools every day and managing their food allergies stresses me out. But that trip is very important to us so I've got to figure something out.
My parents usually keep DS overnight every WEdnesday night. This will often allow us to go out to dinner. But we also hire a sitter once or twice a month to get out.
We tend to travel with DS - we like for him to go w/ us and experience travel and different locations. But we aren't adverse to going away w/o him on occasion.
My in laws take my kids overnight 1 to 2 times a month.
Aside from work travel (which is 1-2 times a year) we've taken 2 kid free trips since the kids were born. One was 4 days and the other was a week. I think a week was a bit long, while 4 days was perfect. Next year we're planning on taking 2 long weekends vs a week long trip. Once my youngest is about 3 we'll start taking family trips.