Post by Willis Jackson on May 22, 2012 14:24:09 GMT -5
How do they sign your birthday card or whatever?
I've managed to avoid addressing my ILs by name and they sign my birthday card "Love, 'The Lastnames'" so they're not helping. And yes, they put quotes around The Lastnames. I don't get it.
Post by biscoffcookies on May 22, 2012 14:26:44 GMT -5
My inlaws have always signed their first names.
I have been married over three years, and it is only within the last few months that I have actually started addressing them by said names to get their attention rather than just starting to talk and hoping they realize I'm talking to them.
But they have never expressed any desire for me to call them mom&dad and I wouldn't anyway. I think some day when I am backed into a corner I'll just use their firstnames. managed to avoid it for 8yrs now though
Post by hilwithonelary on May 22, 2012 15:35:00 GMT -5
I don't think they've ever sent me a birthday card. They used to say "This is Mom" or "This is Dad." very awkwardly when they would leave voicemails. A couple years ago, they transitioned to using their first names. I still avoid calling them anything at all costs. Nothing I say feels right.
I address them by first name, but it gets awkward sometimes for me because my husband and my FIL have the same first name and I feel weird using it when they're in the same room.
Post by Doctorblue on May 22, 2012 18:34:32 GMT -5
They sign their first names. His grandparents sign theirs first and last name. I generally don't address them at all in person. I've tried mom & dad but it feels weird. Will probably address them by first names if it's needed.
Post by orangeblossom on May 22, 2012 18:54:53 GMT -5
I don't have a problem calling ILs by their first name, but I get the sense that it bother my MIL. I think she would like me to call her mom. Absolutely not. She signs her cards with mom and it drives me batty. She means well, but I don't like it at all. If she did Mom Jones then that would be a little better, but I cannot stand it when she does it.
Post by NachoProblem on May 22, 2012 18:57:36 GMT -5
They sign cards Mom and Dad, but don't call them that to their faces. I call them by their first names, but when I'm talking about them with DH I'll call them mom and dad.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 22, 2012 19:14:42 GMT -5
I'm still surprised by my actions regarding my in-laws' names when I first met them. DDH and I eloped and I didn't actually meet my in-laws until after we were married. MIL introduced herself and FIL as "We're Mom and Dad" and the very next words out of my mouth were, "I'm so happy to meet you, Firstname and Firstname." Turns out all the DILs called them by their first names, so I still don't know why she was going for "Mom and Dad"
I am normally pretty meek and extremely conflict averse, but I just knew in that minute that I would never call them Mom and Dad, and I wasn't about to spend the rest of my life not addressing them directly. Even my kids call them Grandma FN and Grampa FN.
Post by DarcyLongfellow on May 22, 2012 19:32:21 GMT -5
My mom managed to go 20+ years without ever knowing what to call my grandfather (her FIL). He and my dad have/had the same name, ao she felt awkward using that, and she wasn't going to call him dad (her own father died when she was young). She seriously spent over 20 years just not calling him anything! I seriously doubt he and his wife ever sent my mother a birthday card, but if they did it was probably with their first names. My mom called my grandmother (her MIL) by her first name, but my grandparents were divorced and we saw a lot more of my grandmother.
My in laws sat me down for a "very serious discussion" after DH and I got engaged and told me I was no longer allowed to call them Mr. and Mrs. Last name. They said I could call them whatever I wanted -- mom and dad, first names, but no more Mr. and Mrs. I thought that was adorable.
They usually sign stuff to both of us with "mom and dad," but stuff to just me with their first names.
I'm kind of weird about addressing stuff to them -- I think it should say mom and dad, but I always make DH write it so it's in his handwritng, not mine.
For the record, I can't imagine calling them mom and dad. DH thought I should, until I asked him if he planned to call my parents that. Then he realized how weird that would be!
My ex in laws signed things mamma og pabbi (I may be spelling it wrong) - mom and dad in Icelandic. I called them first names but xfil's name was difficult for me to pronounce so I mostly avoided.
Bf's parents sign their first names right now. But I think, based on what they call each other's parents and the way they sign things to bf's ex wife, that they'll eventually be "mom & dad lastname".
But they have never expressed any desire for me to call them mom&dad and I wouldn't anyway. I think some day when I am backed into a corner I'll just use their firstnames. managed to avoid it for 8yrs now though