Not rude. Just dumb. If you don't want to have a two-way conversation, quit telling people about your kid.
In is defense, he wants to hear about your dog but when he says "baby is always chewing things because she is teething" it seems weird to say "oh, yeah, my dog does that" Or "baby doesnt listen, we dont know if we should discipline at this age" and you reply "well, we spray the dog wuth water when she is bad".
Over the line? Depends on how serious he was being.
On one hand I guess I can see parents getting offended at the idea of dogs and kids being on the same level.
OTOH, as a non-breeder, my eyes often glaze over when parents start talking in depth about some aspect of parenting that I have no reference for besides raising a puppy, to whatever extent that relates. WTF is the parent's desired response, if not my best effort to relate? Just sitting there going "uh huh, and then what happened?"? That's not a conversation I'll sit through very many times.
Maybe people are trying to give him hints that he talks about the baby too much?
I'll admit that I'm pretty quick to judge posts like this. The people I know IRL who post things like this are trying to be clever & biting, but it comes across as being unaware of how others perceive you to think your friends really give a shit about your witty banter. especially when it's a cliche/unoriginal observation.
I'm not saying this is your H. I tend to judge with a broad brush based on the people I know, and cut little slack.
Over the line? Depends on how serious he was being.
On one hand I guess I can see parents getting offended at the idea of dogs and kids being on the same level. OTOH, as a non-breeder, my eyes often glaze over when parents start talking in depth about some aspect of parenting that I have no reference for besides raising a puppy, to whatever extent that relates. WTF is the parent's desired response, if not my best effort to relate? Just sitting there going "uh huh, and then what happened?"? That's not a conversation I'll sit through very many times.
Yeah, this. My aunt's dog died and she said "It is the same as if my child had died" and I can say as a mother and a former pet owner, it is NOT AT ALL THE SAME. I didn't say anything though b/c I know she was just really overwhelmed w/ grief. But seriously, it's not even in the ballpark as the same.
On a related note, I posted a funny picture of a cat with the caption "How do you know you're a cat owner? You never pee alone." And someone posted "I have a toddler so I never pee alone either." Mommyjacker. So I wonder if there can be Dogjackers? Anyway I like to avoid random vague callouts on FB.
Do parents feel like it minimizes their hard work when people without kids make comparisons? It may not be comparable, but why get annoyed?
Would you care if you said you did something and someone said "My dog does that."?
I don't know if I would be offended but I can see why people would be. And I'm someone who was afraid I wouldn't love my kid as much as I love my dogs.
Not if I was talking about something related to poop, chewing, fetching toys, or eating things off the ground.
Oh this is funny because I have done this. I didn't realize it was offensive. It's usually something like "omg my kids can wreck a house in no time flat" and I'll be like "lol, so can my dogs" or whatever. And it's always done lightheartedly; I would never seriously be like "this works on my dog, try it with your baby." And I highly doubt the "I spray my dog with water" person was recommending that your DH try it on your baby. lol.
Post by RoxMonster on Oct 31, 2012 18:52:33 GMT -5
In general I hate vague Facebooking. If you're calling someone out on something, then actually call them out and don't be passive aggressive or don't say anything.
But as for the actual comment, as someone with no kids who doesn't want kids, I guess I can't totally see it from the other perspective, but unless the other person was constantly, *seriously* comparing their dog to a child, I do think he could lighten up a little bit. Sometimes my friends with kids ONLY talk about their kids. Like a PP said, unless I just sit there and nod (which wouldn't be fun for either of us), the ONLY thing I could possibly relate to rearing a child is rearing an animal. Again not the exact same but they have similarities and at least it's a two-way conversation then.
my child often reminds me of my dog, if my dog was helpless.
My sister and I actually have a running joke about how my dogs' personalities align with her kids. My older dog and her oldest son are both gentle and cautious, where the youngest dog and boy are more of the bull-in-a-china-shop type. The parallels are uncanny.
My step-brother actually made comments when his baby past the intelligence of his cat and his dog. As it "baby has object permanence now, one step up from the cat!"
He is an odd duck though.
Never occurred to me ppl would be offended (except comparing the death of a pet to a child- I know that is different).
I pull out the dog comparisons purposely when I'm tired of hearing constant mommy martyr complaints, to show them how annoying it is. Was he being a daddy martyr, by any chance?
I totally compare my dog to my nieces and nephews, lol. For the first few years they have a lot in common and even go after the same toys. Even my SIL mentioned that her daughter and my dog were both following us around in the same way when her kid was 3. Would I try to compare everything or use the same "training" methods? No, I wouldn't - that's not the same and they aren't growing up to be the same.
I pull out the dog comparisons purposely when I'm tired of hearing constant mommy martyr complaints, to show them how annoying it is. Was he being a daddy martyr, by any chance?
I used to do this when SIL kept talking about her kid's potty training escapades. I would say, 'Oh, let me tell you about what happens when my dog eats string.' which her eyes would bug out of her head and she'd act all grossed out. WELL! No one wants to hear poop stories about your kid either!!
My step-brother actually made comments when his baby past the intelligence of his cat and his dog. As it "baby has object permanence now, one step up from the cat!"
This is hilarious.
This just solidifies my impression that OP is a dolt. She clearly married someone cut from the same cloth. Hopefully they can get her kid into a social group when the kid gets to school and perhaps she will be normal.
In general I hate vague Facebooking. If you're calling someone out on something, then actually call them out and don't be passive aggressive or don't say anything.
I agree with this...I have several friends that do this on a regular basis, and it is ridiculous :-P
Also, as someone who has been around both babies and puppies I have sometimes joked that there are similarities...I wouldn't assume there wouldn't be?
If I said to someone "My baby is teething and chews on everything" I wouldn't be offended by someone who only knows puppies to say My puppy does that when he/she is teething too....are they the same exact thing? No, of course not. Let's not pretend that teething isn't a stage for other animals either though...you can find teethers in the baby section or the puppy section
Again, they're not the same...but I don't see why get majorly upset and then vague Facebook post about it