Being a stay at home mom is not equivalent to a full time job.
Do you think being a nanny is? If so, what separates them in your mind?
If you clean your own house are you a housekeeper? If you answer your own phone calls and book your own travel are you a personal assistant? If you go to Nordstrom and pick out your own clothes are you a personal shopper? No, you are someone who takes care of your own shit. If someone else cleans my house, answers my phone, picks out my clothes, or takes care of my kid, they are employed and doing a job. If I do those same tasks, I am just running my life.
Family was joking about how when their baby wakes up in the middle of the night, the dad would poke the mom (a SAHM) and say, "hey the baby's crying". I didn't see what was wrong with that.
When I'm on maternity leave I expect to take on all or most of the middle of the night wakings once we've settled in at home. If I have no appointments the next morning and am not sick, I see it as taking on my share for the family.
Unless we're having an unusually rough night, I don't see myself pushing my husband out of bed to tend to the baby when he has to work the next morning.
Of course I have not had my own child yet, so this is purely assumption.
Note that a nanny can't typically: -run their own errands during the day -take the children they watch to their own personal doctor's appointments -wash their own laundry during the day -go out to lunch with friends and take the child they watch along -prep and/or cook dinner -put the child in front of the TV when they (nanny) are sick -follow the schedule that they feel suites themselves + the child best -put the TV on for their own enjoyment while picking up the house/toys, etc. -go to work in their pajamas -have their own friends over for play dates unless the children are of similar ages
As a stay at home mom someone can do all or most of the above.
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
Being a stay at home mom is not equivalent to a full time job.
Agreed. I keep seeing the facebook post going around about how being a stay at home mom is like being a police officer, chef, house keeper, nurse, chauffer, teacher etc. It drives me crazy because I think it is demeaning to all the moms out there who work full time and still are fantastic parents.
I don't think teachers are underpaid. They get a crazy amount of time off.
Agreed. I hate it when they start talking about "But oh, I have to work when I get home, and do this, and do that, and I don't really get a whole summer off."
Shut up. You get more time off than most of the workforce and most people don't work traditional 40 hr work weeks anymore.
Note that a nanny can't typically: -run their own errands during the day -take the children they watch to their own personal doctor's appointments -wash their own laundry during the day -go out to lunch with friends and take the child they watch along -prep and/or cook dinner -put the child in front of the TV when they (nanny) are sick -follow the schedule that they feel suites themselves + the child best -put the TV on for their own enjoyment while picking up the house/toys, etc. -go to work in their pajamas -have their own friends over for play dates unless the children are of similar ages
As a stay at home mom someone can do all or most of the above.
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
So, if I work outside of the home AND take care of my kid, do I have TWO full-time jobs?
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
Yes, this is a fact.
It doesn't change my opinion that being a stay at home parent is not equivalent to a full time job.
Do you think being a nanny is? If so, what separates them in your mind?
If you clean your own house are you a housekeeper? If you answer your own phone calls and book your own travel are you a personal assistant? If you go to Nordstrom and pick out your own clothes are you a personal shopper? No, you are someone who takes care of your own shit. If someone else cleans my house, answers my phone, picks out my clothes, or takes care of my kid, they are employed and doing a job. If I do those same tasks, I am just running my life.
Yeah, I guess it's easier for me to separate out the two hours I spend per week cleaning my apartment v. what it would take to be the primary caregiver for a child. One allows me to hold down a FT job outside of the house - the other does not.
Post by emilyinchile on Nov 30, 2012 14:27:41 GMT -5
Bliss, I feel like I shouldn't touch this with a 10 ft pole, but I'm going to give it a shot.
What do you mean by "the opportunity?" I have gone out to clubs without H, traveled by myself, lived on a different continent and not cheated on him. It wasn't for lack of opportunity, I just didn't want to.
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
So, if I work outside of the home AND take care of my kid, do I have TWO full-time jobs?
Of course not since someone else is raising your child while you work.
Post by theintended on Nov 30, 2012 14:28:33 GMT -5
I guess I'm just wondering how to define equivalence if "full-time job" itself has many meanings in terms of hours, responsibilities, perks depending on the position.
Note that a nanny can't typically: -run their own errands during the day -take the children they watch to their own personal doctor's appointments -wash their own laundry during the day -go out to lunch with friends and take the child they watch along -prep and/or cook dinner -put the child in front of the TV when they (nanny) are sick -follow the schedule that they feel suites themselves + the child best -put the TV on for their own enjoyment while picking up the house/toys, etc. -go to work in their pajamas -have their own friends over for play dates unless the children are of similar ages
As a stay at home mom someone can do all or most of the above.
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
Not really. They may be able to do them during the day, but they should not being doing them on work hours. A SAHM can do them whenever she feels it's convenient.
Disclaimer: I am neither agreeing or disagreeing with the original UO in question.
A nanny is certainly a FT job if they put in FT hours.
Note that a nanny can't typically: -run their own errands during the day -take the children they watch to their own personal doctor's appointments -wash their own laundry during the day -go out to lunch with friends and take the child they watch along -prep and/or cook dinner -put the child in front of the TV when they (nanny) are sick -follow the schedule that they feel suites themselves + the child best -put the TV on for their own enjoyment while picking up the house/toys, etc. -go to work in their pajamas -have their own friends over for play dates unless the children are of similar ages
As a stay at home mom someone can do all or most of the above.
Or, a SAHM mom can hire a nanny so she can go to doctor's appointments on her own, have lunch with her friends, or run errands.
So I guess my unpopular opinion is that I don't get why being a SAHM means you can never leave your child with someone else or do things exclusively for yourself. And I'm not talking about whether it's financially feasible, I'm talking about why people give a crap about how SAHMs spend their time.
Post by UnderProtest on Nov 30, 2012 14:30:38 GMT -5
What about sah isn't equilivant? Is it that the mom has control over what to do or not do? Does that mean someone who owns their own business doesn't have a full time job?
But, children/nannies aside, someone with a flexible schedule, someone who works from home, or someone who is self-employed can do many of the things on that list. Every job comes with different perks and benefits.
So, if I work outside of the home AND take care of my kid, do I have TWO full-time jobs?
Yes. I'm an attorney and CEO of the Cosmos household. My resume says so.
Family was joking about how when their baby wakes up in the middle of the night, the dad would poke the mom (a SAHM) and say, "hey the baby's crying". I didn't see what was wrong with that. After all, the dad has to get up early and works full time+ to support the family so the wife could stay home.
Wow, I had NO idea that was an unpopular opinion. Apparently it is. They all said I'd understand when I have kids, but I doubt it since we'll both we working.
I also think SAH is a choice and somewhat of a luxury (depending on your situation). Please don't flame me too hard.
I'm a SAHM and I don't disagree with you. I can think of 1 tme in 3 years I've asked DH to help at night.
I really don't care if people don't think I have a FT job. It is a family choice to stay home and I do think it is a job. Maybe not the most difficult job out there, but it's certainly not the easiest.
Not really. They may be able to do them during the day, but they should not being doing them on work hours. A SAHM can do them whenever she feels it's convenient.
That is entirely up to the discretion of the employer. Very true for some jobs, not true for others. Regardless, I meant across the range of those working from home, with flexible schedules and self-employed, many of the listed items are possible. Not that each type of position is able to do each thing on the list.
A nanny is certainly a FT job if they put in FT hours.
Note that a nanny can't typically: -run their own errands during the day -take the children they watch to their own personal doctor's appointments -wash their own laundry during the day -go out to lunch with friends and take the child they watch along -prep and/or cook dinner -put the child in front of the TV when they (nanny) are sick -follow the schedule that they feel suites themselves + the child best -put the TV on for their own enjoyment while picking up the house/toys, etc. -go to work in their pajamas -have their own friends over for play dates unless the children are of similar ages
As a stay at home mom someone can do all or most of the above.
Post by theintended on Nov 30, 2012 14:35:08 GMT -5
lol. For the record, I don't give a shit what people do with their kids or how they refer to their decisions. I just find the conversation about how to define work and what constitutes it interesting.
If you clean your own house are you a housekeeper? If you answer your own phone calls and book your own travel are you a personal assistant? If you go to Nordstrom and pick out your own clothes are you a personal shopper? No, you are someone who takes care of your own shit. If someone else cleans my house, answers my phone, picks out my clothes, or takes care of my kid, they are employed and doing a job. If I do those same tasks, I am just running my life.
Yeah, I guess it's easier for me to separate out the two hours I spend per week cleaning my apartment v. what it would take to be the primary caregiver for a child. One allows me to hold down a FT job outside of the house - the other does not.
Can you clarify this? Because the way it reads to me, it says you think that you cannot have a full-time job (outside of raising a kid) and be the primary caregiver for a kid. Do you think that a nanny or daycare provider is a child's primary caregiver?