If you dont do Santa, do your kids ever ask why Santa skipped your house? I could imagine a realy small kid saying "Mommy, was I bad? Why doesnt Santa come to our house?"
If you dont do Santa, do your kids ever ask why Santa skipped your house? I could imagine a realy small kid saying "Mommy, was I bad? Why doesnt Santa come to our house?"
Unless someone has made a big deal about Santa to the kid (a grandparent or something?) I have a hard time believing this would happen. If my kid said that to me and we didn't do Santa, I would say "that's bc Santa isn't real, his mommy really buys the presents and says they are from Santa, but don't tell him, it will hurt his feelings". Walla!
We are kind of Santa-neutral (see my giant flamings on CEP and ML for the details) and we have never made a huge deal out of it either way. DS is totally uninterested, and dd is terrified of him. It is a non-issue.
People on the interwebz are the only pele I have seen get bent out of shape about this issue. In real life I know multiple people who don't do Santa for various reasons and it has never been an issue. Ranging from Christian religion to being culturally Jewish to not wanting to lie to their kids. None of these kids have been scarred for life. And anecdotally, they are less likely to ruin Santa for other kids, than younger siblings who used to believe and found out the truth from an older sibling.
If you dont do Santa, do your kids ever ask why Santa skipped your house? I could imagine a realy small kid saying "Mommy, was I bad? Why doesnt Santa come to our house?"
Are you kidding? It's not like they don't get gifts. Do you really think a kid cares if a gift is labeled "From Santa" versus "From Mommy and Daddy"?
I think the difference between families who don't "do" Santa because they don't celebrate Christmas (Jewish, Mormon, whatever) and families who don't "do" Santa but still celebrate all the other aspects of Christmas is that the former has a good reason that the kids can understand, the latter I think would be harder to explain.
It makes sense that if your family has a different religious belief or tradition that doesn't involve Christmas, Santa wouldn't come to your house. It doesn't really matter if he's "real" or not, he's not relevant.
I think a kid who otherwise has Christmas but doesn't have Santa come to his/her house would either have to know for sure that Santa isn't real and that other kids are being lied to/are stupid for believing, or would have to think that they are missing out on something the other kids get.
I understand not wanting to lie to children, but otherwise I don't really get not wanting to "do" Santa. There is little harm in it, especially if you are doing presents anyway, and I find it kind of a bummer to think of some kids missing out on the fun that their little friends get to have.
To answer the OP's question, I would just avoid the topic or say that since you come from different religious backgrounds, you've chosen to follow some traditions from both and leave out some from both (since you can't do everything).
If you dont do Santa, do your kids ever ask why Santa skipped your house? I could imagine a realy small kid saying "Mommy, was I bad? Why doesnt Santa come to our house?"
Are you kidding? It's not like they don't get gifts. Do you really think a kid cares if a gift is labeled "From Santa" versus "From Mommy and Daddy"?
Post by Doggy Mommy on Dec 3, 2012 21:55:05 GMT -5
You can't avoid Santa without looking like a grinch. You're going to have to embrace your grinchiness and understand that a lot of people aren't going to get your point of view. They have fond memories of Christmas and Santa and feel that you are depriving your children of that.
Personally, I don't get the whole modern-parent "I don't want to LIE to my child!" and "I want the kids to know that mom and dad work damn hard to give them gifts!" thing. IMO, giving Santa gifts is such a selfless thing for parents to do.... to let their child believe in magic and give them gifts without even getting credit for it. When I found out about Santa, I was sad that the magic wasn't real but I wasn't mad and didn't feel that I was lied to.
If you dont do Santa, do your kids ever ask why Santa skipped your house? I could imagine a realy small kid saying "Mommy, was I bad? Why doesnt Santa come to our house?"
My kid is too young to care, but I have several non-Santa friends with kids as old as 10 and there's nothing but joy in their homes on Christmas morning. Kids don't miss something they never had, especially if their parents are open about some people doing Santa and some people not.
I really cannot figure out why this issue bothers people so much. It's a parenting choice that is different from the mainstream, but it's still a legitimate choice. As parents we are all trying to raise kids in the best way we know how and we will all do things a little bit differently. There is not a need to judge and name-call.
You can't avoid Santa without looking like a grinch. You're going to have to embrace your grinchiness and understand that a lot of people aren't going to get your point of view. They have fond memories of Christmas and Santa and feel that you are depriving your children of that.
Personally, I don't get the whole modern-parent "I don't want to LIE to my child!" and "I want the kids to know that mom and dad work damn hard to give them gifts!" thing. IMO, giving Santa gifts is such a selfless thing for parents to do.... to let their child believe in magic and give them gifts without even getting credit for it. When I found out about Santa, I was sad that the magic wasn't real but I wasn't mad and didn't feel that I was lied to.
I think this is very well stated....I completely agree.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Dec 3, 2012 22:02:13 GMT -5
I think you will never convince some people that unless the parents make a big deal about Santa, the kids won't care much if at all. Different families, different traditions, different ways if celebrating the holiday. For some the people the magic of Santa was real to them as a kid and they want to pass it on. For others it is not important.
What amazes me is that the pro-Santa-magic people get so bent out of shape about the possibility of some poor child celebrating Christmas without Santa, as if they have discovered that the inclusion of santa is the only one true correct way to celebrate the holiday. (This is in general, not aimed at any specific poster).
I couldnt care less if Santa comes to your house. I was just curious if kids ask. My H is Muslim and his sister was little when they moved here. She begged for Xmas every year and didnt get why they couldnt do it. So not a stretch for me to wonder what a kid might wonder. And this isnt a non-judgment wrapped in an actual judgment.
You can't avoid Santa without looking like a grinch. You're going to have to embrace your grinchiness and understand that a lot of people aren't going to get your point of view. They have fond memories of Christmas and Santa and feel that you are depriving your children of that.
Personally, I don't get the whole modern-parent "I don't want to LIE to my child!" and "I want the kids to know that mom and dad work damn hard to give them gifts!" thing. IMO, giving Santa gifts is such a selfless thing for parents to do.... to let their child believe in magic and give them gifts without even getting credit for it. When I found out about Santa, I was sad that the magic wasn't real but I wasn't mad and didn't feel that I was lied to.
This is only true though because we grew up with Santa. OP didn't. There was no magic (or Christmas?) in her upbringing. And she's fine for it too. She doesn't seem to feel she missed anything. And doesn't feel she can create an experience that she really doesn't get or remember fondly.
We'll do Santa but I can understand her point of view and don't think she's a grinch. There's no religious context (that's she's mentioned) but it's really no different for her.
Lol @ "worldwide fantasy"! and "why wouldn't you do Santa you grinch!" This is completely cultural and Santa is not a worldwide fantasy that is practiced in the same way as it is in the US. I also love the CE&P superior response that imaginative play is a key developmental phase.
I never believed in Santa and I don't know anyone who did. I never even knew people believed in the Easter Bunny etc. I didn't know anyone growing up who believed he was an actual man any more than we believed that Sleeping Beauty or fairies were real.
Christmas was still magical for me and Santa was still a part of the season but he wasn't a real man.
I think the people who say you are a fun sucker and think you are missing out on imaginative play if you don't do Santa as a literal person miss the point. Magic can occur in many forms and fashions and it certainly doesn't have to take the form of Santa being a literal being.
Agreed.
I am Jewish and I never had Santa.
But Hanukkah and other holidays were plenty magical without an imaginary man coming down a chimney to bring us presents.
Out of curiosity, I asked DD today if she wanted Santa to come to our house. She freaked out, said no, and said she was scared. This kid sat on Santa's lap last week and loved it, so its not like she had any reason to be "scared"-- other than the fact that a man sneaking down your chimney when you are asleep IS pretty scary if you really think about it.
We're treating Santa like we treat Dora. Don't tell me I'm a fun sucker/grinch because I'm not pretending he is real. Don't impose your culture on others and feel sorry for my kid because of it. She will have the last laugh getting 8 presents for Hanukkah on top of Christmas. I'm sure there will be a point in her childhood she will gloat that fact over her friends.
We didn't do Santa growing up either. I wasn't even allowed to sit on his lap at the mall (only on Santas who my mom knew, like at her office holiday party).
Then again, I also didn't get 8 presents for Chanukah, so that might explain the years of therapy.
We didn't do Santa growing up either. I wasn't even allowed to sit on his lap at the mall (only on Santas who my mom knew, like at her office holiday party).
Then again, I also didn't get 8 presents for Chanukah, so that might explain the years of therapy.
your parents suck.
My parents went out of their way to make sure Hanukkah was every bit as fun as Christmas could be.
We didn't do Santa growing up either. I wasn't even allowed to sit on his lap at the mall (only on Santas who my mom knew, like at her office holiday party).
Then again, I also didn't get 8 presents for Chanukah, so that might explain the years of therapy.
your parents suck.
My parents went out of their way to make sure Hanukkah was every bit as fun as Christmas could be.
Nah, we still had a ton of fun. I remember going to Brooklyn and waiting for the first star to appear in the sky, beacuse we HAD to wait for that in order to open presents. I got presents, just not one each night Usually one big one from my parents and then a few from grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc.
I never felt that I was missing out by not having Christmas. Though, not going to lie, I love decorating the Christmas tree
Could you tell the Saint Nicholas story? But not the commercial Santa Claus story?
I completely agree with this - position "him" as more of a story character (which frankly, Santa / St Nick is) - sort of like Cinderella, or Snow White, etc.
I always thought it was odd that a lot of people who do "do" Santa never give gifts to their kids that are from them. We had "santa gifts" and we had gifts from our parents. Santa gifts were under the tree and unwrapped because he and the elves didn't have time to wrap everything. Gifts from our parents were wrapped. My family always had all of our Christmas on Christmas Eve (my dad loved to sleep in). We went to church and when we came home- Santa had been there- amazing it happened every year and since one year I saw Santa driving a green 57 chevy as we went to church (no snow that year)... well I was a believer.
H and I did the same thing but we would do our family gifts on Christmas eve, then when the kids went to bed we'd put out the Santa gifts. Between all the family & friends, they always got a lot of stuff so I tried to spread it out just a big.
We gave our kids gifts from us because they got gifts from everyone else, wouldn't it be odd that the people who love you the most didn't give you anything? I mean Santa, your piano teacher, everyone is giving you something but not your parents?
We are pro-santa in our home. I have three kids and so far the oldest two who go to school have classmates who also believe in Santa. The teachers have a bunch of activities involving stories about Santa during the week before Christmas. If one of my kids was to come home sad because a classmate told them Santa didn't exist, I would just explain to them that they were naughty and that is why Santa was not coming to their home and to not pay any attention to what they are saying.
Life is hard as they get older and they will have plenty of time in the future to learn what is real and what is not. Some of my fondest memories is believing in Santa and I will provide the same for my kids. I also believe it is okay to lie to your kids if you are doing it in their best interest and not out of harm.
If one of my kids was to come home sad because a classmate told them Santa didn't exist, I would just explain to them that they were naughty and that is why Santa was not coming to their home and to not pay any attention to what they are saying.
seriously???
The bolded is one of the most damn offensive things I've read on this thread. And you've posted some doozies in the past.
If one of my kids was to come home sad because a classmate told them Santa didn't exist, I would just explain to them that they were naughty and that is why Santa was not coming to their home and to not pay any attention to what they are saying.
seriously???
The bolded is one of the most damn offensive things I've read on this thread. And you've posted some doozies in the past.
I thought maybe it was just me, and decided to keep my mouth shut.
If one of my kids was to come home sad because a classmate told them Santa didn't exist, I would just explain to them that they were naughty and that is why Santa was not coming to their home and to not pay any attention to what they are saying.
seriously???
The bolded is one of the most damn offensive things I've read on this thread. And you've posted some doozies in the past.
I'm glad I finally clicked on this thread because :-|
I wonder if she's planning to tell her kids that all Jews are naughty?
If one of my kids was to come home sad because a classmate told them Santa didn't exist, I would just explain to them that they were naughty and that is why Santa was not coming to their home and to not pay any attention to what they are saying.
Or you could just use it as an opener to explain who Santa really was and the spirit of Christmas and all that good stuff that makes up the idea of the guy who ensures everyone has a special Christmas no matter who they are. That just because there isn't an actual man doesn't mean we stop being charitable and enjoying the season and good will it's supposed to bring.
That's my plan anyway. Because with your plan the kid is going straight to school to tell the other kid they're a terrible person and probably ending up in a fight or with someone crying in a corner or at their desk or whatever kids do now when they're insulted and their feelings are hurt by another kid.