Assuming any of this is true, you don't understand stalkers. He didn't tell you when he'd be in town because he wanted to chat. He told you he would be in town so he could watch you leave. He manipulated your behavior. You showed him you cared. He was thrilled.
So, if this is true, your stalker is of the especially wackadoo variety and you need to suck it up and move.
That is not necessarily true at all. My stalker can not comprehend that I don't want to be with him, that I don't want to talk to him or be friendly. He will email me that he is coming to town because he really thinks I will want to hang out with him.
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Exactly. His emails insinuate that I actually WANT to meet up with him. "I'm going to be in X city on X date. Would love to catch up over dinner. Please tell me your address so I can pick you up." No, just no.
First off all I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I have a very similar situation from my ex-abuser and I completely understand trying to keep tabs on him. It makes me feel safer to know what is going through his head. I'm sure you know how important it is to never respond. I agree with talking to the embassy and seeing if they have any suggestions for you. Also have an escape plan. If he emails that he will be in your town, maybe you can take the kids for a visit back to the US for awhile. I'm so sorry it is so shitty to have to live with this fear hanging over you.
Thank you. I'm sorry that you're dealing with a similar issue.
I want to know if anyone knows of a service that can fake newspaper articles, etc. And make it look real. Not real enough to fool an insurance company to pay a claim, but real enough to convince someone that you're dead and there's no point in pursuing you.
I have been "hiding" from DHs birth mom for over 7 years. She contacted me through hotmail, she was blocked. Had she contacted me again through another email, I would have shut it down. I was the last known holdout on timeline and you bet your ass I read every last thing about privacy before I switched. This woman is not a threat to me and my family's safety and I have made sure she can't find me through social media. Either this is all bs or someone from your past emailed you and gave you the willies and your making way more of it than needed.
Or I just didn't read every last thing about privacy before switching to the Timeline. Stupid me. I assumed that PRIVATE pictures would remain PRIVATE even with the Timeline feature.
I am still having a hard time fathoming moving to the same country as a person you are so scared of. Are these emails he sends threatening? I agree with whoever suggested going the the us embassy and asking what your options are.
I moved to this VERY BIG country about 10 years after severing ties with him. Except for Facebook's freaking Timeline change, he would have NO IDEA where I'm living. He'd probably still assume I'm in Europe.
Anyway, the US embassy would be no help as they don't have authority to intervene in civilian matters abroad. Plus, he's not actually breaking any laws - his emails are not threatening. He's very sweet and tries to entice me into responding to him.
You left America to move to the native country of your stalker. Huh.
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right?
i can't wrap my brain around this.
you sound kinda dumb and desperate for attention.
Thanks, but it's a BIG country. Over 100M inhabitants. That's a 1/3 of the size of the US and now you should be able to figure out the country.
Anyway, I moved to this country nearly 10 years after severing ties with him. Facebook's new Timeline made my current city public knowledge. I had no idea that this happened until it was obviously too late.
There has been a block option on Hotmail for over 7 years. Why have you never looked into this? Or as pp said, close the damn account.
I actually DID block him. But he'd write from different accounts.
In any event, I found it more helpful to KEEP the email account open because he'd give me useful information. Example: telling me he was traveling to my town (when I lived in the US) and that we wanted to see me. This was excellent info - I would leave town during that time period or stay with friends.
He seems to be under some illusion that I actually want to see him, and he gives me this info. So I've kept the account open to stay in the loop. Keep your enemies close and all that...
If he doesn't have the means to travel, why are you worried? Isn't he in the US while you're in a different country?
No, we are both in the same country. Sorry for not being more clear earlier. He is a native of the country where I now live. His city is about 6 hours away from mine.
You should invite him down for a visit and then report him as a drug mule. Some time in a latin american prison should be fun.
No really, you should probably just close your email account and ignore him. 2 emails a year from a guy in another country isn't really a reason to fake your own death.
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We're in the same country now. Only about a 6-hour car ride away.
If you're dead, will he try and contact/threaten your family?
No, I really don't think so. He doesn't really know them since we dated while away in school. In any event, I don't think he has the means to travel internationally.
Wait! You said earlier that he will come after you. Now you're saying he might come after you. Which is it?
I FEEL that he'll come after me based on his actions in the past. Since we're not in contact now - I NEVER RESPOND TO HIS EMAILS - I have no idea what's going on in his mind.
The email address that he writes me to is an old Hotmail address. I now use it for junk mail (signing up for stuff online, etc.). He does not have my current email address (that I've been using for the last 8-10 years).
In any event, I NEVER respond to his emails. So they could be going into thin air for all he knows. But he keeps writing. The frequency is 2-12 times a year.
Post by aeinneedofhelp on Nov 29, 2012 19:41:21 GMT -5
To answer some of your questions:
We're in Latin America. That's all I want to say.
As for leaving, it's just not that easy. We own a house, a BUSINESS, our children are in school. We can't just uproot ourselves because this guy MIGHT come after me. We don't know what he knows. All I want is to throw him off my trail before he gets any closer. IF he gets any closer.
Post by aeinneedofhelp on Nov 29, 2012 19:26:12 GMT -5
Sorry for the AE. I'm a regular, but not on this board. I chose this board because it has the most traffic. Here's my story:
I once dated someone who turned out to be psychotically jealous and dangerous. Even though I broke up with him, he was always there, wouldn't take no for an answer: threatened me, chased me in cars, may have tried to burn down my house, etc. My family isn't the greatest support system, so I was basically on my own (out of state) dealing with this. It got so bad that I actually went abroad (during college) for a year to get away from him.
It's been 12 years since I left and severed ties with him. Since then, I've graduated, married, moved to several countries, etc. But he still emails me. He's been emailing me for the last 12 years. I'VE NEVER RESPONDED, NOT EVEN ONCE. I've always ignored him.
I thought I kept a low profile on Facebook (completely private profile, had to be a friend of friend to find me, etc.)... But after the new Timeline change I guess this privacy went out the door. I had NO IDEA that the general public could now search and see "timeline pictures." Guess I should have read the terms and conditions more closely
Anyway, he wrote me again last night. But this time he had all sorts of details about me: my dog's name, the city I'd last moved to, etc. I had NO IDEA where he'd gotten this info until I took a hard look at my Facebook profile. Timeline changed everything... (I've since cancelled my Facebook profile, but the damage is done.)
So now he knows the city where I live. He knows my married last name. He is CRAZY. And this is all going on in a foreign country where the police will be NO HELP at all. He WILL come looking for me. The only solution I can think of is to die. On paper.
I KNOW this sounds crazy, but I've been running from him for 12 years. He won't give up until he finds me. I'm sorry if this sounds dramatic, but I'm honestly scared.
Does anyone know of a way to fake your death online? Fake obituary, etc. I need to live in peace.