Help Me Fake My Death

[aeinneedofhelp]

Sorry for the AE. I'm a regular, but not on this board. I chose this board because it has the most traffic. Here's my story:

I once dated someone who turned out to be psychotically jealous and dangerous. Even though I broke up with him, he was always there, wouldn't take no for an answer: threatened me, chased me in cars, may have tried to burn down my house, etc. My family isn't the greatest support system, so I was basically on my own (out of state) dealing with this. It got so bad that I actually went abroad (during college) for a year to get away from him.

It's been 12 years since I left and severed ties with him. Since then, I've graduated, married, moved to several countries, etc. But he still emails me. He's been emailing me for the last 12 years. I'VE NEVER RESPONDED, NOT EVEN ONCE. I've always ignored him.

I thought I kept a low profile on Facebook (completely private profile, had to be a friend of friend to find me, etc.)... But after the new Timeline change I guess this privacy went out the door. I had NO IDEA that the general public could now search and see "timeline pictures." Guess I should have read the terms and conditions more closely

Anyway, he wrote me again last night. But this time he had all sorts of details about me: my dog's name, the city I'd last moved to, etc. I had NO IDEA where he'd gotten this info until I took a hard look at my Facebook profile. Timeline changed everything... (I've since cancelled my Facebook profile, but the damage is done.)

So now he knows the city where I live. He knows my married last name. He is CRAZY. And this is all going on in a foreign country where the police will be NO HELP at all. He WILL come looking for me. The only solution I can think of is to die. On paper.

I KNOW this sounds crazy, but I've been running from him for 12 years. He won't give up until he finds me. I'm sorry if this sounds dramatic, but I'm honestly scared.

Does anyone know of a way to fake your death online? Fake obituary, etc. I need to live in peace.

[girlfriday11]

Faking your death is not the way to go. Have you called the cops? Restraining order?

[textbookcase]

This seems like the muddiest mud of all time.

[aeinneedofhelp]

Calling the cops is not an option. I/he live in a developing country where the police are absolutely no help. This is not happening in the US.

[aeinneedofhelp]

This REALLY isn't mud. I can't "just move" away. I'm married and have a life here.

[textbookcase]

Are you from the US? If so, can you get back?

[aeinneedofhelp]

Again, I know this sounds INSANE.

[textbookcase]

I really feel like there has to be a better solution than faking your death. I know you say the police are no help but have you tried to go to them?

[girlfriday11]

Yes you can just "move away." You won't have a life at all if this guy actually does something.

[speckledfrog]

Could you move to a neighboring town and change your name/phone/email?

[shostakovich]

Are you originally a US citizen? Are you in a country that has a US embassy or consulate? I would start there.

[aeinneedofhelp]

Nov 29, 2012 19:32:42 GMT -5 textbookcase said:

Are you from the US? If so, can you get back?

Yes, I am American. But I've built my life here with my husband. I have children in school. I can't just uproot myself.

If I could just convince him that I'm dead surely he'd leave me alone.

[speckledfrog]

Nov 29, 2012 19:34:51 GMT -5 shostakovich said:

Are you originally a US citizen? Are you in a country that has a US embassy or consulate? I would start there.

This is a good idea. What about contacting the police in the town he lives in? I don't know if they can do anything, but he's doing the harassing from there so it seems like it might be worth a shot.

[textbookcase]

I feel like uprooting your children would be better than having a dead mother.

[girlfriday11]

Nov 29, 2012 19:35:20 GMT -5 aeinneedofhelp said:

Nov 29, 2012 19:32:42 GMT -5 textbookcase said:

Are you from the US? If so, can you get back?

Yes, I am American. But I've built my life here with my husband. I have children in school. I can't just uproot myself.

If I could just convince him that I'm dead surely he'd leave me alone.

That's not going to work for the long term though. He'll find out.

[girlfriday11]

Nov 29, 2012 19:36:14 GMT -5 textbookcase said:

I feel like uprooting your children would be better than having a dead mother.

Yep.

[speckledfrog]

Nov 29, 2012 19:35:20 GMT -5 aeinneedofhelp said:

Nov 29, 2012 19:32:42 GMT -5 textbookcase said:

Are you from the US? If so, can you get back?

Yes, I am American. But I've built my life here with my husband. I have children in school. I can't just uproot myself.

If I could just convince him that I'm dead surely he'd leave me alone.

I just don't see how this is possible.

[thebamker]

put your facebook back up and let us all leave messages about how we're going to miss your smile and you meant so much to our lives. RIP

[mudslide]

Like it or not you have to uproot your family and move back to the us. What does your h say about this? What country are you in?

[yourmother]

How does he have your email address?

[textbookcase]

Nov 29, 2012 19:36:50 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

You lost me at the Facebook account. I don't believe anyone who is *that* worried about a stalker that they would move to various countries would be daft enough to have a social media account.

Right? If I had some crazy stalker that I feared was going to kill me, I would put that shit on LOCK DOWN.

[aeinneedofhelp]

To answer some of your questions:

We're in Latin America. That's all I want to say.

As for leaving, it's just not that easy. We own a house, a BUSINESS, our children are in school. We can't just uproot ourselves because this guy MIGHT come after me. We don't know what he knows. All I want is to throw him off my trail before he gets any closer. IF he gets any closer.

[flex]

I seriously can't believe that you feel your ONLY option is to fake your death. Jeez.

Does your DH know about this? Has this fellow threatened you physically or verbally recently?

Buy a pistol. Learn how to use it. Shoot him in the kneecap if he comes into your house.

End of replies

[Sloane]

If you're dead, will he try and contact/threaten your family?

[mudslide]

Wait! You said earlier that he will come after you. Now you're saying he might come after you. Which is it?

[aeinneedofhelp]

Nov 29, 2012 19:37:30 GMT -5 yourmother said:

How does he have your email address?

The email address that he writes me to is an old Hotmail address. I now use it for junk mail (signing up for stuff online, etc.). He does not have my current email address (that I've been using for the last 8-10 years).

In any event, I NEVER respond to his emails. So they could be going into thin air for all he knows. But he keeps writing. The frequency is 2-12 times a year.

[thebamker]

why is my suggestion being ignored?

[aeinneedofhelp]

Nov 29, 2012 19:43:28 GMT -5 mudslide said:

Wait! You said earlier that he will come after you. Now you're saying he might come after you. Which is it?

I FEEL that he'll come after me based on his actions in the past. Since we're not in contact now - I NEVER RESPOND TO HIS EMAILS - I have no idea what's going on in his mind.

[aeinneedofhelp]

Nov 29, 2012 19:43:59 GMT -5 thebamker said:

why is my suggestion being ignored?

Sorry, that actually WAS a good suggestion. But I've since cancelled my Facebook account.

[girlfriday11]

Nov 29, 2012 19:43:46 GMT -5 aeinneedofhelp said:

Nov 29, 2012 19:37:30 GMT -5 yourmother said:

How does he have your email address?

The email address that he writes me to is an old Hotmail address. I now use it for junk mail (signing up for stuff online, etc.). He does not have my current email address (that I've been using for the last 8-10 years).

In any event, I NEVER respond to his emails. So they could be going into thin air for all he knows. But he keeps writing. The frequency is 2-12 times a year.

You should have deleted that account YEARS ago.