Post by peachykate on Dec 27, 2012 11:02:06 GMT -5
So can a judge override him not wanting to sell it and let you put it on the market?
Our realtor was telling us about this when we were looking for a house. There were quite a few we wanted to see but the wife in those instances wouldn't let anyone see it and one that we put an offer in on refused to sell it and then they go to auction after 2 years.
Post by hisno1girl on Dec 27, 2012 11:04:45 GMT -5
You know B., this has reached the point where I'm ready to head up a volunteer posse of MLers, load them in my Mom-van and pay that sonofabitch a little visit.
My van seats 7 and plenty of us have a lot of rage to let loose.
Fwiw, my lawyer said he's not going to get alimony, and they're probably just using it as a negotiating technique. But seriously- what kind of person with any pride would ask someone else to support them?
The same sort of person who would trash a house and allow their spouse to pay the mortgage for an entire year.
Seriously, I wonder if he's on drugs or psychotic.
But for the most part, he has gotten everything he has wanted during this divorce part, and you haven't gotten shit.
Post by peachykate on Dec 27, 2012 11:10:02 GMT -5
LOL at Saul Goodman. So true.
I wonder if there isn't someone telling him to ask for alimony and not help with anything. It's just so fucking bizarre or that he really just hates her that much for asking for a divorce that he is trying to be a vindictive asshole.
Yes, he is on drugs. He's a pot head, and a drunk, and possibly other things by now as well. He may also be psychotic.
I'm so embarrassed that I was ever married to him.
There is nothing to be embarrassed about! I am sure it was all rosy at the beginning just like it is in all relationships, once you realized what he was and that it wasn't for you, you left. That's kick ass, not an embarrassment.
I got a second opinion back in the spring, from a much more agressive lawyer, and she said pretty much the same thing. I'm seriously considering a third opinion though. This can't possibly be right.
I got a second opinion back in the spring, from a much more agressive lawyer, and she said pretty much the same thing. I'm seriously considering a third opinion though. This can't possibly be right.
I would do it. It cannot hurt to get another opinion, especially since it has escalated since April.
Can I ask a stupid question- do I just call another office and say that I'd like to meet to get a second opinion?
I don't really know anyone that's been divorced recently to get a recommendation from. I found some ratings on a website, and I checked out the firm's website and I like what I see. I think I might call them.
Post by gretchenindisguise on Dec 27, 2012 11:39:43 GMT -5
I think there has been enough that has happened since the Spring that absolutely warrants another opinion. I agree with the others, your lawyer is not being aggressive enough.
At one point when I was talking to my lawyer, I asked her this: "what would you be telling my husband right now if you were his lawyer?" It really helped me understand how this whole thing works. And yes - from what I understand, the alimony is just a tactic they use. my lawyer made(??) me ask for it in my original filing... even though I told her I would never need/take it. we just backed it out when making a settlement. Acted like we were giving up something. It was all fake.
Both of those lawyers have an idea of if he could actually get it. If he can't, don't let him use it against you to get something else. Obviously the judge is going to see him as a freeloader.
I was so nervous about the judge not being fair and not seeing things for what they really were. This never ended up being the case. He didn't appreciate any bullshit tactics. at all.
And finally - you are right to say that you think he just wants to bring you down, even if it means screwing himself. I'm told MANY divorces end up this way and your H has nothing to lose... sadly.
My husband refused to allow this and even though I proceeded with the typical processes toward him, he didn't retaliate and do it back to me. He knew he was wrong and it would only cost both of us more money. But if he'd been listening to his lawyer - he would have hit me right back with discovery and whatnot.
I had to do it. He didn't - and he did the right thing for both of us.
In the end, you will have to make smart choices, even if they hurt at the time. Set your sights on the long term and try not to get lost in how much you hate him. It will only cause you to do things that hurt you more when it's all over.
Post by nightandday on Dec 27, 2012 11:47:44 GMT -5
I agree with others that you should definitely get another attorney's opinion.
I don't know the whole backstory, but I know enough to say without a doubt your XH is a complete piece of shit. I hope there's not a judge anywhere on this earth who would grant alimony to someone like him in this situation.
He said he'd be telling xh not to move out, and that they'd try to convince the lawyer that he couldn't afford it.
ok - well at least you know what you're dealing with.
Do you feel he has a good way to counter the argument? Or do you feel like you're just going to "lose"?
If you really want another opinion / new lawyer - by all means - go for it... but if you think he is doing what he can (and the outcome seems typical for the situation), you're probably saving money by sticking with this one.
I get nervous about people trying to sell me on an idea that they can do better, only to end up with the same result.
I felt like my lawyer pegged my divorce settlement from the start. She had a good feeling about how it would all go down, and she was right. I think things are a lot more "typical" than most people want to believe. They want to feel like their divorce is different and deserves a special circumstance outcome.
Ugh, this whole thing is so infuriating. I'm sorry, Bernadine. But don't lose sight of the end now that it's so close! I think you've made good decisions up to this point. Just keep at it and soon it will all be over. Good luck!!!
I have a feeling another lawyer would tell me the same thing, but I think I could sleep easier hearing it again.
I can understand that.
and yes - perhaps it will help you wrap your head around the fact that, in the end, you're propably not going to love how this turns out. Understanding that now is better than being surprised later.
again - I'm really sorry. my divorce wasn't even stressful and it stressed me out.
Can you get rid of all the items in the house, like furniture, bed, TV, etc so all he has access to is the house?
I like this! Start selling shit to pay for the mortgage. If he can live there with you paying for it with no recourse, you can sell shit with no recourse, right? Especially if it is "marital property" like a couch/TV.