Luker here, but have been following your story. Get a 3rd opinion but don't be surprised if they say the same thing your lawyer is telling you. And I would definitely get a UHaul and get what you can out of the house. And don't be embarrassed. We all make mistakes. My exh is a convicted sex offender(happened after we divorced). Talk about feeling like a total loser! Just be glad you will soon be done with this bag of garbage.
I don't post very much, but I promise I'm not a creeper, lol. I just have to pipe up and offer some support. First of all, you've been amazing throughout all this, and to be able to move on and maintain your compusure is really a testament to the fact that you're going to come out of this on top.
However - I agree with the others. This is so far beyond ridiculous, I can't even deal. This is utter bullshit, and it's time for you to get PISSED OFF. Take ALL the stuff from the house. Turn any utility bills in your name off. Get a 3rd or hell, even a 4th opinion. Start showing up at the house whenever you damn feel like it. Call someone about the drugs in the house.
It's YOUR house. Don't let him bully you any further, because that's EXACTLY what he's doing. He has NO leg to stand on, but he (and his lawyer) are making you second guess yourself. It's time to stop letting them put you on the defensive.
You can tell by the amount of capital letters in this post that I'm really really pissed off on your behalf. You don't deserve this :-)
You know B., this has reached the point where I'm ready to head up a volunteer posse of MLers, load them in my Mom-van and pay that sonofabitch a little visit.
My van seats 7 and plenty of us have a lot of rage to let loose.
I will seriously fly up to where ever and meet up with everyone.. This is effing ridiculous.
Post by sherbanator on Dec 27, 2012 13:48:36 GMT -5
I got a divorce in MD and it was a pain. I did not have any issues like you are having but I could definitely see it if we weren't so amicable.
How much longer until your year separation is up? You weren't ordered to pay the mortgage right? You're just being responsible? Sorry your douche ex is being a douche.
Post by sherbanator on Dec 27, 2012 14:18:27 GMT -5
No the court date date was about 5 months and everything was already settled between ex and I. There were no lawyers and ex didn't even show up. I had to bring a witness with me to testify we had not stayed under the same roof in the last year and there were no relations or else we would have to wait another year to refile. It took about a month for the court to make the divorce officia/finall after that court date.
Post by kellbell191 on Dec 27, 2012 16:00:29 GMT -5
Do you all have a separation agreement? We used to do pendente lite for divorces to determine who would pay the Mortgage, electricity, etc during the separation period bc I work in a state with similar separation requirements to MD. Just because he can't afford the entire mortgage does not mean he doesn't hve to pay any of it. It also doesn't necessarily mean he gets to live there.
I think in the end all of this will work in your favor but it sucks having To wait. Your Stbx is a dickbag.
Post by saraandmichael on Dec 27, 2012 19:40:28 GMT -5
yo! don't forget that my BIL is a police officer near you ( i can't recall the city that your house is in...h or m) and I wouldn't mind making a call to inquire what the proper channels are re: drugs in the home.
and also, i can talk to him about an escort for you to empty the house out if necessary. hell, i'm sure he'd even do it for you on a day he has off.
Post by glitzyglow on Dec 27, 2012 20:06:00 GMT -5
Your ex is such a douchebag. I really hope karma exists and that he gets screwed over 100x worse than what he's doing to you.
What is it that you want from the house situation? From what I gathered during my divorce, it's my ex's house, too, and any damage and such was a moot point in court. Also, with both of our names on the mortgage, it wasn't that ex owed me money for paying the mortgage; we were both 100% responsible to the bank, so the court/judge wouldn't care that I paid it alone for a year.
My attorney specialized in foreclosures and made it sound like it was no big deal if that did happen to me. He said so many foreclosures have happened and are still happening that he was confident it wouldn't mess up my future. That route might be something to look into again.
I don't understand why your ex not making enough to pay the mortgage means he can't take the house in the divorce. My ex doesn't make enough and he got the house. He rents it out. Hopefully that's another avenue to explore.
I like everyone's ideas. I would turn off the utility bill, water, etc. I would take the appliances from the home and sell them. I would take all the furniture from the home and sell it.
Good luck. You don't deserve this treatment and I hope your ex removes his head from his ass soon.
Bern, when are you going to see the judge? Is there an informal meeting with the judge? When I got divorced. we had to see the judge for an informal meeting. The judge could get a sense of the divorce and order things to be done until it was final. No judge will allow him to live in the house for free indefinitely while you pay for the mortgage. Plus the fact that he is trashing it. Who is paying for the utilities? A judge can order him to pay for the utilities and if he can't afford to pay for the house, it HAS to be sold. Trust me, despite what his lawyer says, once you see the judge, he/she will order the sale of the house as part of the divorce.