Would you have an abortion if the baby had a genet

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2012 7:43:01 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Depends on the disorder.

.

This. It's not a question I can answer in the hypothetical. I think it's something where few People are absolutely sure what they would do until Faced with it.

I can say that generally abortion is not off the table depending on the disorder.

[statlerwaldorf]

I would if it were not compatible with life or they would have a short painful life. It seems like the more humane option. I would not for DS.

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2012 13:03:02 GMT -5 @mrsbecky07 said:

Dec 28, 2012 7:43:01 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Depends on the disorder.

.

This. It's not a question I can answer in the hypothetical. I think it's something where few People are absolutely sure what they would do until Faced with it.

I can say that generally abortion is not off the table depending on the disorder.

yup.

I can't say for sure if I would or wouldn't with DS. I wouldn't rule it out, but I wouldn't automatically leap to abortion without more information.

I am very pro-choice, but I don't know if I could have one myself unless the disorder was incompatible with life. That's the only situation I'd absolutely abort (ie- tay sachs)

[Deleted]

Its also inconceivable to me that there are people who wouldn't abort for a disease that doomed a baby to a short, painful life.

[liveintheville]

Dec 28, 2012 10:05:10 GMT -5 speckledfrog said:

We would have. We did the NT screening and a follow up amnio. It's a very personal decision and not one many people who would terminate talk about but I'm really, really glad I have the option.

This was precisely our experience and our stance.

[takeonyou]

It would depend 100% on the disorder and what life would entail for that child.

[jena]

Dec 28, 2012 14:53:56 GMT -5 @iheartcosmos said:

Its also inconceivable to me that there are people who wouldn't abort for a disease that doomed a baby to a short, painful life.

I agree. A friend of a friend had a baby with a rare disorder where every touch was painful. The baby lived for a few months, in constant horrible pain. I wouldn't want anyone to suffer like that. This was basically zero quality of life and the parents were suffering almost as much as the child. How is living in hideous pain preferable to never having lived?

Sent from my HTCEVOV4G using proboards

[cjeanette]

There is no way I could answer this question unless I was in the situation.

[mollybrown]

Yes, I probably would. This is apparently a flammable opinion here, but I would probably lean towards termination for Downs Syndrome as well.

It's interesting to me that very few people admit they would terminate for DS, but the stats confirm that in reality, most people do. I wonder if people who actually would terminate for DS just keep quiet, or if people just change their minds when actually faced with the possibility of a child that might need lifelong care.

[Ashley&Scott]

Dec 28, 2012 15:30:20 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

There is no way I could answer this question unless I was in the situation.

This.

[dragonfly08]

With my first? It would have depended on the genetic condition and exactly what quality of life issues that would cause. I can't make a blanket statement because some things would have been harder for me to handle than others.

With #2? I would definitely have been more likely to consider termination, but again that would depend on the issue. My position would have been colored by the fact that I already had a responsibility to the child at home, and - for me - the existing kid trumps an unborn baby. If the condition would have meant I was not able to take care of DD #1 the way I wanted/she needed, either emotionally or financially, then abortion would have been a serious possibility.

[auntie]

Dec 28, 2012 8:14:29 GMT -5 holly116 said:

Dec 28, 2012 7:39:08 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

No. Dh and I are both pro-life. We also believe that if God chooses to give us a disabled child, it's because He thinks we are capable of carrying for that child.

This exactly

Just curious. Do those of you who hold a belief in a God who doles out special children to special mothers actually have a disabled or sick child? Or is this hypothetical for you?

My son has autism and every now and then some well-meaning indidvidual sends me this-

www.downsyn.com/bombeck.php

I can't wrap my mind around a God who would do such a thing.

[tizzy]

I didn't read all of the replys, but my brother had a progressive genetic disease and died at 19. Both my sister and I were adopted because my parents didn't want to take the chance of having another child with the disease. I asked them once that if they had known my brother had this disease in utero, would they gone through with the pregnancy and they said that they would have, but only because there was such a variable in how bad the disease affected each individual. However, like I said they weren't going to risk it again.


Sent from my MB860 using proboards

[bunch]

I have no idea. For ds, probably not.

[MadamePresident]

No. I couldn't do it.

[jewel]

Dec 28, 2012 12:24:25 GMT -5 LauraMoser said:

Dec 28, 2012 10:17:49 GMT -5 L said:

No, not an option for me ever.

I'm pretty sure I'm here. Regardless of what the disorder was. And I am not prolife. I am all for women doing what they think is the right thing (abortion), but in my own personal life, I don't think I could ever bring myself to have an abortion.

Same here. I'm glad others have the choice, but it wouldn't be mine. We won't do much prenatal testing because there aren't any decisions to be made.

I am religious, but I definitely do not believe that God "chooses" children to suffer in any kind of way.

[Deleted]

I would if the child was going to have a short painful life. I would do it for the sake of the child. I wouldn't want my kid to be in pain for a few hours just so I could have a memory.

But I would not for something like Downs.

[countthestars]

Yes, we probably would

[Deleted]

I have very mixed feelings on this, and it is wrapped into the fact that while I'm curious about having kids, I may never actually pull the trigger on having one. I feel that if I want a child badly enough to have one, I will need to be prepared for the possibility they may not be "normal". I have 2 disabled cousins (one has Downs) and their parents (2 families) have spent their whole lives caring for them and looking out for them, the job didn't end when they moved out of the house because they will NEVER move out. I don't think I want that, but knowing what amazing people my cousins are I don't think I could abort a baby with their issues, either.

I don't think I'd question it much if it was something incompatible with life or something where they will never have any quality of life. I do think both my cousins have a decent quality of life, have a lot of joy and happy times, and have lives worth living.

[Deleted]

I honestly don't know. My inclination would be to end the pregnancy, especially now that we would have three older children to take care of as well. However, my H grew up Catholic and I can't see him agreeing to an abortion. I guess it would really depend on the condition in question and how hard it would be to raise a child who might have significant disabilities.

[knitty]

Yes, but it would be a decision based on the individual outlook. Like, say arthropygisis (sp), can be anywhere from minor to hideously agonising for life.

[smiley]

Dec 28, 2012 7:39:08 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

No. Dh and I are both pro-life. We also believe that if God chooses to give us a disabled child, it's because He thinks we are capable of carrying for that child.

I agree with this 100%.

I always thought I was in the "let the woman decide what to do" until I had a coworker this year abort her pregnancy around 20 weeks due to an abnormality. It broke my heart that the baby could have had a chance at life but she decided it wasn't worth the risk. That child could have been someone fabulous later in life.

[Deleted]

Dec 29, 2012 13:13:59 GMT -5 smiley said:

Dec 28, 2012 7:39:08 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

No. Dh and I are both pro-life. We also believe that if God chooses to give us a disabled child, it's because He thinks we are capable of carrying for that child.

I agree with this 100%.

I always thought I was in the "let the woman decide what to do" until I had a coworker this year abort her pregnancy around 20 weeks due to an abnormality. It broke my heart that the baby could have had a chance at life but she decided it wasn't worth the risk. That child could have been someone fabulous later in life.

^o) I don't agree with your comment. Presumably if your coworker made that decision, the risk of having a terrible or low quality of life was too high or she wouldn't have done it. That kid wouldn't have been "fabulous", that kid would have been disabled, probably severely so. There are lots of wonderful people with disabilities and I don't think all disabled children should be aborted - but if that ends up being the best option for a parent, I trust that that decision wasn't made lightly and that the outcome of keeping the child was not going to be "fabulous".

[Deleted]

Dec 29, 2012 13:33:21 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

I don't agree with your comment. Presumably if your coworker made that decision, the risk of having a terrible or low quality of life was too high or she wouldn't have done it. That kid wouldn't have been "fabulous", that kid would have been disabled, probably severely so. There are lots of wonderful people with disabilities and I don't think all disabled children should be aborted - but if that ends up being the best option for a parent, I trust that that decision wasn't made lightly and that the outcome of keeping the child was not going to be "fabulous".

This is probably going to earn me some flames, but I also think that if a family does not feel financially or emotionally equipped to deal with a disabled child, even one with DS where there's a chance there would be a good quality of life (but also a chance there wouldn't--and no way to know which one it'll be), they are justified in selecting an abortion.

I do not think all pregnancies where testing reveals a genetic problem should be terminated, but I think all pregnant women (and their partners) should be allowed to decide to terminate if they so choose, ideally without judgment from uninformed 3rd parties.

I am friends with a couple that chose a late 2nd trimester termination and I would not wish the nightmare they went through on anyone. It is not fair to judge them saying their child could have had a "fabulous" life. She could not have, and my friends did not want to bring a child into the world who would have suffered from the outset and for whom they did not feel equipped to care, in many ways. And that is fine.

[mollybrown]

Dec 29, 2012 13:13:59 GMT -5 smiley said:

Dec 28, 2012 7:39:08 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

No. Dh and I are both pro-life. We also believe that if God chooses to give us a disabled child, it's because He thinks we are capable of carrying for that child.

I agree with this 100%.

I always thought I was in the "let the woman decide what to do" until I had a coworker this year abort her pregnancy around 20 weeks due to an abnormality. It broke my heart that the baby could have had a chance at life but she decided it wasn't worth the risk. That child could have been someone fabulous later in life.

^o)

I'll retract my side eye if you've actually adopted any special needs children that didn't turn out to be fabulous, whose parents weren't able to care for them.

Let me tell you, my son has MILD autism, and it's astounding how many hours of therapies, money, special programs, and extra time we have invested in him. This is a child that seems typical to most people, and will almost certainly go on to live a full and independent life. I would NEVER judge someone that decides they would not be able to handle raising a child that is likely to have far more profound disabilities. I think it's easy to look at a highly functioning disabled person and underestimate how much work/money/time/sacrifice it took to get them to that point, and the toll it took on their family. It's appalling that someone that hasn't been in that situation would judge.

***And I am not saying or implying that children with autism should be aborted. My point is that even a child with a minor disability can have cost prohibitive therapies, require a parent to quit their job, affect parents retirement plans and ability to have additional children, and require their siblings to be cast in the role of caregiver whether they want to or not. The possibility that maybe everything will work out and the child might be "fabulous" may not be enough.

[GailGoldie]

I know 2 little boys who have downs.... one is in my twin's preK class, another is the son of a regular on our local board -he is 5yo. I would never even consider aborting a child b/c of Downs.

DH and i have discussed it - and only if the baby threatened my life would we abort - everything else we would go through with the pregnancy and deal with what we are given.

[h]

Dec 29, 2012 13:13:59 GMT -5 smiley said:

Dec 28, 2012 7:39:08 GMT -5 @chronoptomist said:

No. Dh and I are both pro-life. We also believe that if God chooses to give us a disabled child, it's because He thinks we are capable of carrying for that child.

I agree with this 100%.

I always thought I was in the "let the woman decide what to do" until I had a coworker this year abort her pregnancy around 20 weeks due to an abnormality. It broke my heart that the baby could have had a chance at life but she decided it wasn't worth the risk. That child could have been someone fabulous later in life.

The only thing I question about this poor mother's decision is why she told her co-workers about it, thereby opening herself up to this kind of judgment. This is exactly why if we were ever in this situation I would say "we lost the baby" and leave it at that.

[liveintheville]

Dec 29, 2012 17:33:40 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

I am surprised by all the strong no caveats for DS. It looks like at least 50% of DS conceptions are terminated. Maybe this is something where you really can't wrap your head around it unless it happens to you.

www.patheos.com/blogs/thinplaces/2012/06/down-syndrome-prenatal-testing-and-abortion-its-complicated/

I am, as well. With kid 2 the NT scan came back less than great and we opted for an amnio. We did some very brief research and realized DS can cause major medical issues. It seemed like the odds of having a high functioning healthy child with DS were much lower than we had thought. But like I said, we did very little research. Had the amnio come back positive we would have done extensive research but were leaning towards termination.

[Deleted]

Dec 29, 2012 19:18:03 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Dec 29, 2012 17:33:40 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

I am surprised by all the strong no caveats for DS. It looks like at least 50% of DS conceptions are terminated. Maybe this is something where you really can't wrap your head around it unless it happens to you.

www.patheos.com/blogs/thinplaces/2012/06/down-syndrome-prenatal-testing-and-abortion-its-complicated/

I had no caveats to my answer, except that I would terminate. With many of these disorders, you don't know how bad it will be until you have the baby and I wouldn't take the risk.

I would also terminate for DS, for this reason among others.

[auntie]

Dec 29, 2012 17:33:40 GMT -5 @msstarry said:

I am surprised by all the strong no caveats for DS. It looks like at least 50% of DS conceptions are terminated. Maybe this is something where you really can't wrap your head around it unless it happens to you.

www.patheos.com/blogs/thinplaces/2012/06/down-syndrome-prenatal-testing-and-abortion-its-complicated/

In the U.S. the percentage of pregnancies in which a fetus with down syndrome is identified are aborted is generally reported to be between 80 and 95%.

I agree that most people can't really appreciate the situation until they're making the choice for their own family. It's interesting that the rate for elective abortion for any reason are pretty consistant among different religious groups- even among those like Roman Catholics and Evangelical Christains whose religions expressly forbid the option.