DP just left to return some books to the library

[sosaystara]

Annoying and inconsiderate.

[tacokick]

I'd be super frustrated at that!

[sake]

Call her and ask her to come back and get him. Tell her you need him out of the house for a while so that you can focus and work and not have to give 50% of your attention to him.

[nicanmatt]

DH pulls stunts like this a lot. Or instead of saying "let's go to the playground!" he turns it into a do you want to go or not. Of course he says no, he's 2 and in the middle of doing something else. Then when it's naptime he throws a fit because NOW he's ready to go to the playground and cannot go.

I think when she gets back from the library they go see the trains. Will the trip to the library take a long time? I hope she can get in and out really quickly and then take him to do something fun!

[ralphlauren]

I would be pissed. That was inconsiderate of her. It sounds like she asked Carl if he wanted to go because she knew he would say no

[ralphlauren]

Do you do a majority of the parenting? I am annoyed for you

[Deleted]

Yep, I'd be pissed too. Especially if it happens a lot.

[Deleted]

Use your words. And disconnect the fucking cable while she's gone.

[hbear]

Jan 5, 2013 12:03:15 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Use your words. And disconnect the fucking cable while she's gone.

I like this idea!

[ralphlauren]

I am sorry That sound very unfair

[sonrisa]

How frustrating. Sure, give him choices if you want but choices like "do you want to wear your red shoes or your blue shoes?" She can't use a toddler's "choice" to get out of a commitment she made to you.

[speckledfrog]

How frustrating. And a crappy way to start the weekend.

[Deleted]

Yeah my DH has done this in the past. Its like "No, take him, this is what was discussed." I would be irritated.

My husband is famous for asking them what they want packed in their lunches. While I certainly try to pack stuff I know they like, I don't ask them because it turns into I don't want grapes I want cookies.

They eat what I pack them EVERYDAY . STOP GIVING THEM OPTIONS

[Deleted]

I'm ragey for you. She needs to buck up and be a team player and Ann active parent.

I'd take Carl up there to meet her at the library and tell her she forgot something.


Sent from my cream of crap.

[Deleted]

I know the whole point is that SHE should be initiating such a trip and sticking to what you planned, but why didn't you tell Carl to get his shoes/coat on and to go with DP?

[Deleted]

When she gets home I would take your laptop and leave Tell her you are going out to get some work done since she took off and left ds home and you got nothing done. Then leave for many hours.

[fuckyourcouch]

that's bullshit, i'm sorry. i agree with others - call her and let her know she needs to come get him or take him up there. and i would totally cut the cable.

[sake]

Seriously text or call her, and just tell her that he changed his mind, and wants to come. Who cares if thats a lie. She said she would take him, so she needs to follow through.

[speckledfrog]

Sounds like she tried really hard to weasel out of taking him. I'm angry for you.

[muffin0]

I kind of want to shake her for you.

Are things better re: cleaning up and such?

[bab]

That is BS. If you work from home, you have to set aside a certain number of uninterrupted hours for yourself each week. He either needs to go to daycare, you need a sitter, or your partner will have to care for him in the evenings/weekends for a set amount of time. Does he join her at her job? No. Same goes for you.

[ralphlauren]

I am so sorry MM....that is not fair.

What kind of word do you do?

[Deleted]

Would it be *too* condescending to make her a chore chart and tell her you bought special star stickers?

[motzie]

It pains me to read your posts. You sound awesome and she is not earning her partner title at all. I would be screaming mad if I were you. I agree that when she gets back, either send her off again with the kiddo and tell her not to come back til X time, or take off yourself for a few hours.

[imoan]

From what I can tell, your DP needs a major come to Jesus talk.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

I would be seething.

[julesf84]

That's not fair at all. I would be really pissed.

[rex]

This whole thing makes me so ragey for you.

From what you post it seems like she has zero interest in being a parent or partner to you. Counseling is a must because I don't know how much longer you should have to put up with this.

Sorry if that's too blunt.

[textbookcase]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Mommy. It isn't fair for you to be stuck doing everything. I hope you guys are able to work out a better arrangement. She needs to pick up her slack!

[PinkSquirrel]

Jan 5, 2013 12:35:40 GMT -5 @themommymonster said:

today she said she'd do dishes and when I ended up doing them because I needs the stove to be cleared her excuse was she was planning to do them after I made my breakfast. I can't make breakfast when there are pots and pans stacked on the stove to be washed.

I'm still not clear on why you did the dishes. Could you not have moved the stack from the stove to the sink and left them for her to deal with? If I told someone I would do dishes today the chances of that happening before breakfast are slim to none.

I completely get that she very much seems to take advantage and you're doing the bulk of the work on your own, but you also seem to be enabling her. If she says she's going to do something you need to hold her accountable. Doing the dishes for her or allowing her to walk out the door with your kid in tow is just reinforcing her behavior.