Embarrassing tales

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Share yours!

Sent from the future.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

I once got pretty loaded at an outdoor wine thing and peed in a corner on the subway platform. I was certainly seen by many.

Also, my husband and I were once at a bar ... I licked the side of his face, The Jerk style, and someone pulled me away and told me to stop harassing him.

Sent from the future.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Jan 5, 2013 14:14:25 GMT -5 pinksapphires said:

I've had sex with two people in my life. One was my HS boyfriend of 2 years and the other is DH. Both of them are idiots and flushed a used condom down the toilet when we were visiting my home. And surer than shit, both times our septic system overflowed a few days later, and my mother found the used condom floating in the backyard.

CH!

Sent from the future.

[bebeetmoi]

When I was super pregnant I was at a meeting in our corporate office, and all the head honchos were there giving presentations and the five district managers (myself being one of them) gave brief breakdowns on our numbers etcetc. Well, it was my turn and as I'm trying to be all even-though-i'm-pregnant-my-district-is-still-kicking-ass-and-so-am-i, I let out a chain of SBD farts and all the other managers who were sitting beside me got horrified looks on their faces, making everyone else in the room curious as to what was going on. Luckily, I got along well with everyone and was very respected, but I wanted to die. I still don't know if everyone else knew what happened... :-|

[creamsiclechica]

Yesterday I pooped so hard my tampon fell out.


That is probably the grossest thing I've ever typed.
Also, I might be the queen of public peeing. I used to have no shame whatsoever, ahahaha.

[hass2001]

I started my period while on a bus with all my 7th grade classmates. We were on our way home from a week long Christian camp. During a pit stop for food, I stood up and blood was everywhere. Thank goodness some of my girlfriends had already started theirs so they whisked me away to the bathroom of Taco Bell and gave me a pad. But everyone saw. Everyone.

[lauranicole91]

Jan 5, 2013 14:26:52 GMT -5 creamsiclechica said:

Yesterday I pooped so hard my tampon fell out.


That is probably the grossest thing I've ever typed.
Also, I might be the queen of public peeing. I used to have no shame whatsoever, ahahaha.

Truth: when I poop I always have to shove my tampon back in a little bit.
Props to you for pushing it all the way out!!

Also I've peed in public more times than I can even begin to count. Good times.

[lauranicole91]

Jan 5, 2013 14:41:38 GMT -5 hass2001 said:

I started my period while on a bus with all my 7th grade classmates. We were on our way home from a week long Christian camp. During a pit stop for food, I stood up and blood was everywhere. Thank goodness some of my girlfriends had already started theirs so they whisked me away to the bathroom of Taco Bell and gave me a pad. But everyone saw. Everyone.

Ugh I started my first period just one day before a 5 day trip in 6th grade. Needless to say I wasn't educated on how all the pad placement and replacement worked etc. I laid on my back at night and it all flowed to the back where the pad wasn't at. Bled all the way trough my undies and pants(the only pj pants I brought for the whole trip). I didn't realize the blood until I took them off in the communal shower area. Walked through the whole cabin showing off my stain. Blech.

[Deleted]

Have I shared this before?

I was 16, at work, ending out my register. I had the cash out so I couldn't stop or start over. I had to pee....bad. I was hurrying to finish. I peed my pants. I had a bottle of Coke I'd been drinking. I took the lid off and "accidentally" spilled it all over me and the floor to cover it up. I got to leave right away because I was all wet. No one ever talked about it so I think I hid it well.

[hass2001]

Ah Laura that sucks! At least it was all girls right? I think every woman has a bad period story.

[musiclover]

Jan 5, 2013 14:47:55 GMT -5 hoodyhoo said:

Have I shared this before?

I was 16, at work, ending out my register. I had the cash out so I couldn't stop or start over. I had to pee....bad. I was hurrying to finish. I peed my pants. I had a bottle of Coke I'd been drinking. I took the lid off and "accidentally" spilled it all over me and the floor to cover it up. I got to leave right away because I was all wet. No one ever talked about it so I think I hid it well.

Clever, Very clever!!!

[musiclover]

Jan 5, 2013 15:01:20 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

When I was pregnant with Hazel I was visiting my mom because she had cable and internet and we didn't. I was a little horny and masterbating while reading lady porn. My mom opened the door and caught me fondling my boobs. It was like 2 in the fucking morning!

You were checking for lumps right?

[carawestt]

When I was 18 I went to H's work party (he was a bouncer at a club) and got so drunk that I passed out, face first, for a couple minutes in my Caesar salad that he was trying to make me eat so I could sober up. We had only been dating for 4 months, thankfully we were friends for 5 years before that or he would've dumped me haha.

[musiclover]

I'm sure you are sick of hearing mine, but remember that time I drank way too much wine and barfed on my male friend's arm? Not only did I barf, but then I remained in it....until someone noticed and told him. Then I ran off in the rain and cried. Oh those were the days...

[vthokie]

When I was a freshman in college, I went to a band party and we were drinking strawberry daquiris. After WAY too many I managed to NOT make it to the bathroom, and puked bright red all over the white carpet in the apartment. Any party I went to at their place after, they made sure to point out my stain. Don't give liquor to freshmen!!

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Jan 5, 2013 15:21:43 GMT -5 musiclover said:

Then I ran off in the rain and cried. Oh those were the days...

CH.
Sent from the future.

[browneyedhunni85]

While DH and I were dating we went to one of his friends house and there was a group of us there drinking and having a bonfire. I decided I would take shots like a man and had one way too many. One of DH's friends told me something was vodka when it was really golden grain liquor. I slammed it back and later that night I was puking in the living room. Classy! That is the first time I've ever gotten sick like that and not make it to the bathroom. I also remember asking one of the dudes to put on his sailor uniform and later he appeared with it on.

[dojo]

DH and I went to an outdoor wedding at a local conservation / camping area. There was a keg so I did a bunch of keg stands like any classy wedding guest would do.

On the way out I had to pee really badly. I kept asking DH if the building in the near distance was a bathroom but he insisted it wasn't so I went "into the woods" (read: by the side of the road) and started to pee. A ranger approached me with his flashlight and told me I had to go to the bathroom in the building I had been asking DH about. I was bareassed and said, "sir, please avert your flashlight"

[thedahliharpa]

Stupid things in high school like getting a chunk of candy cane completely stuck between the wires in my molars and my cheeks. I had to be escorted out of class to the nurse who removed it with tweezers. I also thought it was hilarious to stick my tongue in my clear retainer to make my tongue look like teeth. I laughed so hard I inhaled the damn thing and threw up in main hall in efforts to not die.
College- Just so many throwing up/ laying in the street stories, too many..

Oh and I also was momentarily stuck under a hotel sink during a trip to Europe.

[kdrake8]

Ok. Super embarrassing.

I had been dating DH 6 months when his grandma died. I took off work to be there for the funeral. Afterwards we went back to his parents house with a ton of people to eat.

Very full house. All of a sudden, I had to poop. I went to the upstairs bathroom to be discreet. I noticed the water level in the toilet seemed low, but no alarms sounded in my brain.

I did what I had to do. Then I flushed. Nothing happened. Nothing. The person before me had clogged the damn toilet!!!! I searched but found no plunger. I was horrified. I am NOT open about these kinds of things.

I had to leave shortly to get to cheer leading practice (I was the coach). So I concocted a plan. I fished my own shit out of the toilet with my HAND! I threw it in the mini trash can and tied up the bag. I had stayed at DH's parents the night before so my duffel bag was there across the hall.

I exited the bathroom and stuffed the shit bag into the side of my duffel. Grabbed all my stuff and told now-DH I had to go to practice. He had to drive me so he got ready to go. As im waiting on him, his parents' beagles come sniffing at the bag!!!!!!!!!! I was shoving them away, about to die.

We finally get in the car and it hits me - what if, with the heat blowing, he can smell the shit?! It was snowing outside but I insisted I was hot and drove with the window down.

When we finally got to school, I stopped in the main office and threw my shit away in the secretary's garbage can.

So, there you have it.

[unclejesse]

Jan 5, 2013 21:15:44 GMT -5 kdrake8 said:

Ok. Super embarrassing.

I had been dating DH 6 months when his grandma died. I took off work to be there for the funeral. Afterwards we went back to his parents house with a ton of people to eat.

Very full house. All of a sudden, I had to poop. I went to the upstairs bathroom to be discreet. I noticed the water level in the toilet seemed low, but no alarms sounded in my brain.

I did what I had to do. Then I flushed. Nothing happened. Nothing. The person before me had clogged the damn toilet!!!! I searched but found no plunger. I was horrified. I am NOT open about these kinds of things.

I had to leave shortly to get to cheer leading practice (I was the coach). So I concocted a plan. I fished my own shit out of the toilet with my HAND! I threw it in the mini trash can and tied up the bag. I had stayed at DH's parents the night before so my duffel bag was there across the hall.

I exited the bathroom and stuffed the shit bag into the side of my duffel. Grabbed all my stuff and told now-DH I had to go to practice. He had to drive me so he got ready to go. As im waiting on him, his parents' beagles come sniffing at the bag!!!!!!!!!! I was shoving them away, about to die.

We finally get in the car and it hits me - what if, with the heat blowing, he can smell the shit?! It was snowing outside but I insisted I was hot and drove with the window down.

When we finally got to school, I stopped in the main office and threw my shit away in the secretary's garbage can.

So, there you have it.

[kdrake8]

Jan 5, 2013 21:19:37 GMT -5 unclejesse said:

Jan 5, 2013 21:15:44 GMT -5 kdrake8 said:

Ok. Super embarrassing.

I had been dating DH 6 months when his grandma died. I took off work to be there for the funeral. Afterwards we went back to his parents house with a ton of people to eat.

Very full house. All of a sudden, I had to poop. I went to the upstairs bathroom to be discreet. I noticed the water level in the toilet seemed low, but no alarms sounded in my brain.

I did what I had to do. Then I flushed. Nothing happened. Nothing. The person before me had clogged the damn toilet!!!! I searched but found no plunger. I was horrified. I am NOT open about these kinds of things.

I had to leave shortly to get to cheer leading practice (I was the coach). So I concocted a plan. I fished my own shit out of the toilet with my HAND! I threw it in the mini trash can and tied up the bag. I had stayed at DH's parents the night before so my duffel bag was there across the hall.

I exited the bathroom and stuffed the shit bag into the side of my duffel. Grabbed all my stuff and told now-DH I had to go to practice. He had to drive me so he got ready to go. As im waiting on him, his parents' beagles come sniffing at the bag!!!!!!!!!! I was shoving them away, about to die.

We finally get in the car and it hits me - what if, with the heat blowing, he can smell the shit?! It was snowing outside but I insisted I was hot and drove with the window down.

When we finally got to school, I stopped in the main office and threw my shit away in the secretary's garbage can.

So, there you have it.

Hahaha thank you my BFF and I die about this story every time we are drunk.

[rxbeth]

kdrake!!!! OMG, I wouldn't even have thought to do that. That is both disgusting and resourceful.

[musiclover]

Kdrake, that is amazing!!!

[kdrake8]

Lol it is absolutely disgusting. My BFF works at the High school and was there for her own rehearsal.

She stopped to visit me at prac and I told her the story (she has IBS so has her own stories) and we laughed until we cried. The cheerleaders thought we were crazy.

[spaghetticat]

Omg. I lol'ed at so many of these.

The puke stories inspired me to tell mine. The day before my bachelorette party, my friend and I saw our favorite band in concert. We got backstage and brought up the bachelorette party and the lead singer gave us a bunch of backstage passes for the next day so I could basically have my bachelorette party there. We were so psyched.

The next day I barely ate anything. Such a bad move. We drove to the city and pregamed in the hotel. Then we went to the bar. I remember laying on the floor in the public bathroom and my friend telling me to throw up bc I would feel better. Eventually we left and I started puking all over myself in the car. I kept insisting we could still go to the concert. Eventually I woke up half dressed in the hotel room. Most of my friends had gone home. I was SO upset.

But the embarrassing part wasn't over. The few friends that were left and I went to the continental breakfast in the hotel. I had to leave to go puke. When I get out of the bathroom, who do I run into? The lead singer of the band. While I'm in sweatpants, reeking of puke. And I was all like, "heyyyyy. Never made it last night but thanks for the passes."

I was really bummed about the whole experience for a long time.

[Deleted]

I am the reason my elementary school got pad/tampon dispensers put in the girls bathroom. I started my period right before school lunch and bleed on the chair/pants. Because of this My girl classmates were mad we didn't have the dispensers and petitioned the school to install them

And I have never peed in public, boring.

[thedahliharpa]

Kdrake, shit smuggler. I die.

[vthokie]

Kdrake....my.hero

[kdrake8]

Hahahaahhaaaa shit smuggler. Omg so fucking nasty. If it wasn't such a desperate situation.... Lol

FYI - I washed my hands. A lot.