Which is harder for you?

[Deleted]

At a playdate the other day two if the mum's who work downtown office jobs said how much harder mat leave is then working their jobs. I said that mat leave is way easier than my job of teaching. One needy kid vs. 27 needy kids! Just cuious for you personally which was is/was harder your outside the home job or home on mat leave?

[dojo]

This is going to cause major butthurt since its been a topic at least a couple times and has caused major butthurt. I vote to veto this post.

[Deleted]

Jan 11, 2013 6:56:58 GMT -5 dojo said:

This is going to cause major butthurt since its been a topic at least a couple times and has caused major butthurt. I vote to veto this post.

why? I was just asking which personally is/was harder. I am not saying one is or isn't or that one is better. I was just asking for personal experiences there is no right or wrong answer.

[kdrake8]

I agree - maternity leave was much easier than teaching, ESP when I got out of baby blues

[rainbowchip]

They are both hard in their own ways so I can't say that one is harder than the other. What I can say is that I much preferred maternity leave to working.

[vthokie]

I would say that my leave was easier than the combo of teaching and parenting I have now. That said, I suck at staying home all day and accomplishing anything. Or, I did that first couple months. I can think of jobs I have had in the past that would have been easier than my leave though.
No hurt feelings. I still wish I could BE home and not working, and hope I could have figured out how to get things done so my house didn't look like a hell hole. We'll see how the summer goes.

[imimahoney]

Mat leave was hard and easy, just like teaching. I'm a great teacher, confident and creative but I had NO clue what to do with Ari at first, I was lonely and a bit bored. But then we fell into an awesome routine and I didn't miss teaching one bit. Not having to plan until 11 each night, grade for hours or deal with punks calling you a bitch was a freaking dream. Plus I could nap with Ari and didn't have to wake up at 5 everyday.

[laurack]

Both are hard in their own way I think. My job is pretty easy when I'm actually sitting at my desk. I just sit here and do my work and/or go to meetings. the actual WORK part is easy, I mean it can be stressful at times but overall I am pretty unstressed at work.

what's hard for me about being a working mom isn't the actual work it's the rushing around. I feel like I am constantly rushing on work days. My commute is an hour each way which doesn't help.

But when I was at home on maternity leave, I felt like it was tough in a different way. I found it hard to not have a schedule. I never got anything done. My house was still a mess. I felt guilty all the time for being so unorganized.

Now I love weekend days. I feel so relaxed, like there is so much TIME in the day! I love just chilling out with her, going to breakfast, going to the store or whatever without having to rush. So I love those days. But then, after 2 weeks with her over christmas all day every day I was dying to get back to the office. She's hard work now. Not a moments peace when she's awake as she's into everything. And she's not a fan of long naps at all. 30 minute napper.

So I guess ... my answer is i don't know. Both are hard!

Now what was easy was working full time and having NO baby. Never realized before but i had so much free time! I'm sure I'll be saying the same about how things are now, when I have the second baby.

[joyhart02]

I think they are both hard in different ways and both easy in different ways.

Being back at work is hard because night times and weekends are so rushed and busy and I feel like I can never stay on top of things. When I was home most days I could keep the house clean and laundry done.

But, I still sent dd1 to daycare everyday during my maternity leave. If she was home with me I know my leave would have been way harder than being at work.

[laurack]

Yes when I have number two I'm totally going to keep sending Matilda to daycare for my maternity leave!

[laurack]

I'd rather be at home too right now. She might sleep til 7am sometimes even EIGHT! And I could nap with her!

I think lack of sleep is the hardest part of mothering.

[formerlyllizzyb]

I work PT as a teacher, but didn't start working until DS was 4 months old. For the sake of your question, even though I was home for 4 months, I'm going to refer to the first 12 weeks as the "maternity leave" time period. I taught full time up until DS's birth.

Once I was recovered from my c/s (about 4 weeks) I was SO jealous DH got to get up and go to work each day. DS cried about 23 hours a day and never slept. I would have much preferred to go to work and let someone else deal with my colicky baby just so I could catch a break. So, in my case, maternity leave was way harder than any job I'd ever had.

Being a mom and staying at home is harder than my previous teaching job some days, but being a mom and teaching is harder than being childless and teaching! KWIM? Having a kid makes everything harder.

I love working PT b/c it's the best of both worlds. I get to spend relaxed days at home with my baby playing, but I also get to go to work, interact with adults, use my brain, etc. And of course now that DS is nine months old and a happy little ball of energy he's much easier to take care of than a screaming, arching, refluxing, colicky newborn.

[JuliaGulia]

I found maternity leave to be a lot easier than for me than working. Not because being home with a baby is all butterflies and rainbows but because my job can be extremely stressful. Even though I really enjoyed my maternity leave and absolutely loved being home with DD I couldn't do it permanently as a SAH. I desperately need other adult interaction.

[Deleted]

I much perferred maternity leave to working.

[Deleted]

Working was much harder than sah for me. I'm busy with a needy and mobile baby, but it is a lot less stress. I'm busy, but it isn't "hard". Maybe when there are more kids in the kid my answer will change.

[Regina Philange]

At first i would say maternity leave was hard. I mean hormones going crazy, and trying to figure out how to care for you baby. But once you get into a flow, not so much. Also, once i started getting the hang of things, is when i went back to work, so it was really hard on me. I was just starting to enjoy it.

But my job isnt really hard either. I get stressed trying to meet deadlines, but its not hard.

[petitepomme]

I'm finding mat leave way easier than my job (also a teacher). That being said, I love my job and I'm looking forward to going back to work.

[christidee]

It totally depends on the day. Some days materniity leave was easier, and some days teaching is easier.

Reasons why maternity leave is easier:
Don't have to wake up at 6
Don't have to get all dressed up
Don't have to pack bags for LO and me
Get to take care of one kid that I love instead of 5 classes of up to 38 teenagers each
Some days at work are mentally draining, especially when there are consistent behavior problems and new CA legislation makes it even more difficult to punish kids. They can basically run the roost now.
Nap time can sometimes be 3 hours of down time a day

Reasons why teaching high school is easier:
The kids communicate instead of cry
They can tell me what is wrong
Some days being at home with one baby is exhausting
Nap time is sometimes a bitch and my prep break and lunch break are the only downtime

Each has its own perks. I feel blessed (and I don't usually throw that word around) to have a career that I love and that also affords me the opportunity to be home so much. Between a week off for thanksgiving and spring break, three weeks off at Christmas, 11 weeks off over the summer, and all major holidays off, I consider myself a full time working mom and a part time SAH mom.

[chasbride07]

I work in finance so there are times when it is really stressful. At those points maternity leave was easier (even with 3 kids!). There are other times when work isn't too bad and I can just come and go as I please (I WFH and have a nanny for the kids) and those times, work is easier.

All in all, It's a crap shoot and depends on the day.

[katie]

I found being at home on maternity leave was harder than going back to work. I never felt I got into the swing of things when I was on mat leave. Colicky baby, MSPI, reflux and then getting PPD and not getting it under control until after I returned to work was not what I had planned or thought would happen. I knew it would be hard but the colic really through me for a loop. She cried all.the.time and was not a good sleeper. I had to hold her all the time, didn't like to be worn either.

I agree with Laura though in that on weekdays I feel completely rushed. In the mornings not as much but the evenings from when we get home from DC is a little crazy. I feel like I have a better handle on it now and I get done what she needs with no problem. It's everything else around me that doesn't get done.

[kandrze1]

Jan 11, 2013 8:55:42 GMT -5 formerlyllizzyb said:

I work PT as a teacher, but didn't start working until DS was 4 months old. For the sake of your question, even though I was home for 4 months, I'm going to refer to the first 12 weeks as the "maternity leave" time period. I taught full time up until DS's birth.

Once I was recovered from my c/s (about 4 weeks) I was SO jealous DH got to get up and go to work each day. DS cried about 23 hours a day and never slept. I would have much preferred to go to work and let someone else deal with my colicky baby just so I could catch a break. So, in my case, maternity leave was way harder than any job I'd ever had.

Being a mom and staying at home is harder than my previous teaching job some days, but being a mom and teaching is harder than being childless and teaching! KWIM? Having a kid makes everything harder.

I love working PT b/c it's the best of both worlds. I get to spend relaxed days at home with my baby playing, but I also get to go to work, interact with adults, use my brain, etc. And of course now that DS is nine months old and a happy little ball of energy he's much easier to take care of than a screaming, arching, refluxing, colicky newborn.

That's pretty much my situation too and how I feel about it. Part time teaching is the best of both worlds for me.

[mumegs]

I think maternity leave was harder, my job is pretty easy in that I sit at a desk all day, I don't have to be on my feet or anything. I was a substitute teacher for awhile and teaching is hard work! Plus the whole newborn stage you can't do anything else but take care of baby 24/7 and it is hard. Going to work is kind of like a break which you don't get during leave.

[irishsara]

I think they were both hard, and as I had more kid, maternity leave got harder and harder. However, I would much prefer maternity leave to working, just because I would rather do nothing at home than do nothing at work!

[ruby412]

I haven't done both yet, I'm currently SAH, but plan to go back to work in August. However, I'm guessing they are both hard in their own ways. And a lot of it probably depends on the job. If you like your job, have sufficient breaks, and enjoy your co-workers, it might be nice to go to work and have adult time. It probably makes you appreciate the time with your babe even more. Sometimes I feel like I take my time with V for granted because we're always together.

I think working PT would be ideal.

[Regina Philange]

Working PT is the dream Ruby. That is the dream.

[ruby412]

Jan 11, 2013 10:05:34 GMT -5 Regina Philange said:

Working PT is the dream Ruby. That is the dream.

I want to live the dream!!

[Deleted]

I work in a office setting. I am more physically after a weekend with the kids than I am from working at work. I am more mentally tired from work though.

I think Mat leave was challenging b/c it was also my first attempts at wrangling 2 kids.

[jaime183]

Jan 11, 2013 10:06:34 GMT -5 ruby412 said:

Jan 11, 2013 10:05:34 GMT -5 Regina Philange said:

Working PT is the dream Ruby. That is the dream.

I want to live the dream!!

[jaime183]

they are both hard in their own ways. I agree that working FT without a baby is the only easy answer.

I work PT so I do have the best of both worlds and can compare them at a similar age.
The days I work the schoolday is more relaxing but the nights are so stressful. By the time we get home he needs to eat, shower and be in bed. I feel like I don't see him. I also changed into my dream job this year (instructional coach) so that helps.
On the days I SAH we are so busy but the days feel really long and it feels like forever until my husband gets home. I also feel like I get nothing done at home on days I'm home (he's not a napper)

On days he's fussy or teething, it's so much easier to let someone else handle him and go to work. On days he's lovey, goofy and naps it's so much fun to be home.

I'm not sure of my job situation next year but I want to work PT again.

[spaghetticat]

I had a really hard time with maternity leave. V cried a lot and I felt like I was never doing anything right. It was nice to go back to work just to be on a schedule again. But now that we have figured each other out more, I really hated going back after winter break.