Husband sleeping on the couch/floor/guest bedroom

[greencrayon]

Is that the start of the end of a relationship?

[Deleted]

Well, it depends on why. But if you are asking this question, I assume there are problems in your relationship. I'm sorry.

[rubytue]

Jan 26, 2013 8:55:23 GMT -5 @lilly said:

Well, it depends on why. But if you are asking this question, I assume there are problems in your relationship. I'm sorry.

Ditto.

I mean, H slept on the couch for most of the first couple of years we were married.  We moved, got a king bed, and got his snoring fixed (allergies), and now we rarely sleep apart.  The couch sleeping had nothing to do with our relationship.

[gt7301b]

I agree with Lilly, but I go have to ask why would your husband be sleeping on the floor?

[greencrayon]

Those are all kind, considerate reasons. DH didn't sleep in the bed because he didn't want to get in it with me.

[Kore]

What happened? Has he done this before?

[mrsfarmer]

Jan 26, 2013 9:14:38 GMT -5 greencrayon said:

Those are all kind, considerate reasons. DH didn't sleep in the bed because he didn't want to get in it with me.

Then I guess yes without knowing more backstory?

[pugz]

more info please!

[hannamaren]

I think it may not mean the end of the relationship but it is definitely a signal to start working on it or it will be the end.

[Deleted]

I agree - more info is necessary.

We don't sleep in the same bed every night. If one of us is having trouble sleeping we'll get up and go in the guest room or go downstairs to sleep on the couch. Same goes if someone is sick, coming home extra late, having to get up extra early, starts snoring, etc.

[mommylikestattoos]

I'll chorus the response of it depends on the reason... My husband has been sleeping on the couch for the last several months because he didn't want to get in bed with me. Initially it was because my pregnancy induced snoring was practically shaking the walls lol. Now it's because I sometimes fall asleep while nursing at night and he's scared he'll roll over on the baby... I'm pretty sure he'll eventually make it back to the bedroom lol.

[Deleted]

I've slept on the couch a few times over the past nine years because I didn't want to sleep beside DH. I knew our relationship wasn't over, but when I get mad It's better that I just keep to myself. If I would have been laying beside him I would have wanted to punch him. When I get really angry being alone is how I put things into perspective and talk myself down. Anger issues and all that. Sleeping alone on a regular basis would be concerning though.

[greencrayon]

I will talk to to him when he wakes up, to see what his reasoning was.

[Deleted]

I would say no - not necessarily. If it becomes a pattern and it is specifically because he doesn't want to be around you - maybe so.

DH and I generally sleep in the same bed but there have been plenty of times when he fell asleep on the couch or we've slept apart for various reasons. There was only one period where we slept separately on purpose because we were having marriage trouble. But there are tons of reasons why a perfectly stable couple might sleep apart.

[Norticprincess]

Ditto the it has more to do with the reason why you are sleeping in differentbplaces.

I'm about to start sleeping in the guest room again. Has nothing to do with our relationship, it has to do with medication side effects and insomnia.
Have slept in other places after fights/disagreements just not wanting to deal with it anymore that night.  Calming down in different locations works for us, we talk about it after we are calmer.

The not wanting to get into bed with you sounds very strange, was this the first night he has done this?

[AAM2012]

Jan 26, 2013 9:27:49 GMT -5 greencrayon said:

I will talk to to him when he wakes up, to see what his reasoning was.

Are you saying you have NO idea why he would just suddenly not want to sleep in the same bed...?  It sounds like you need to sit down and have a nice conversation good luck.

[greencrayon]

Jan 26, 2013 9:35:46 GMT -5 AAM2012 said:

Jan 26, 2013 9:27:49 GMT -5 greencrayon said:

I will talk to to him when he wakes up, to see what his reasoning was.

Are you saying you have NO idea why he would just suddenly not want to sleep in the same bed...?  It sounds like you need to sit down and have a nice conversation good luck.

We're in marriage counseling, but he's never done this before.

[krystee]

I have slept on the couch a couple of times because I was mad. Childish, yes. But the space helped, we talked it out the next morning, realized we were both dumb, and everything was fine.

[kershnic]

Did you have an argument? Did he say anything, or just do it? Did you try to stop him or try to ask him why at night before falling asleep?

It doesn't sound like it's a good sign, but plenty of relationships come back from sleeping apart out of anger with communication and working to address the underlying issues.

[krystee]

It does seem odd that you don't know why. The lack of communication would bother me more than the need for some space for a night.

[jillboston]

My DH didn't sleep with his first wife for over a year before their divorce. He had a little room downstairs with the 2 dogs. It makes me sad to think about it even though he is my husband now. (He doesn't even sleep elsewhere even if I am snoring- which, unfortunately, I do..)

[chessie]

We ended up getting a spare bed so I wouldn't end up on the couch. For us it happens, sick, snoring, needs extra sleep..sometimes you just dont want to sleep with someone else there.

[Heisenberg]

Jan 26, 2013 9:40:04 GMT -5 greencrayon said:

Jan 26, 2013 9:35:46 GMT -5 AAM2012 said:

Are you saying you have NO idea why he would just suddenly not want to sleep in the same bed...?  It sounds like you need to sit down and have a nice conversation good luck.

We're in marriage counseling, but he's never done this before.

sounds like he's got some 'splaining to do.

[moolarkey]

As of 2 weeks ago, we've been married 30 years. H sleeps in the living room - in a chair, on the floor, on the couch, on the floor with his face on chair seat, on the floor with his face on the couch...and sometimes in bed. I think it's weird but it doesn't bother him so it doesn't bother me.

[moolarkey]

He's pretty much done this since we've been married. We're in a hotel in suburban Cleveland last night. Came up to our room after a banquet to change to go to a hospitality suite but he feel asleep - on the bed!!! - while I was changing so I'm on the sofa playing on here while he's out like a light!

[dexteroni]

Jan 26, 2013 23:22:42 GMT -5 moolarkey said:

on the floor with his face on the couch

I'm picturing him positioned as if he tripped and fell face first into the sofa, and just fell asleep that way. lol.

OP, have you talked to your husband?  What did he say? 

[moolarkey]

He sits in a chair and as he starts to get sleepy he'll just sit on the floor. Then as he falls asleep he'll turn and plant his face on the chair or sofa seat. He's on his knees but his face and shoulders are on the seat. He's been doing this for many years.

[Deleted]

Does anyone else think that this thread is strange? Or is it just me?

[Deleted]

DH sometimes sleeps in the guest room to SAVE our marriage - his snoring is ridiculous. It's the only way the both of us can get a decent night's sleep (he'd sleep fine, but I wake him up to make him stop snoring so I can fall back asleep).

But yeah, this thread is a little strange.

[drloretta]

Jan 27, 2013 14:18:03 GMT -5 cuadrado said:

Does anyone else think that this thread is strange? Or is it just me?

Def strange.

I spent the first 2 years of our married life in the guest BR, but that's because DH snored like a freight train. And we certainly discussed it before we had that arrangement.

My BFF's parents have never slept together. He likes it cold with the window open, she likes it warm with the window closed. But again, I'm sure they discussed it.