Yep. We do a lot of extended family weekend lunches/dinners and she comes most of the time. I will say if we're going somewhere nicer, it's a really special event, it's right at bedtime, I will get a babysitter and leave her home. We're all just cranky and no one can eat in peace otherwise. If I'm going somewhere that nice I want to enjoy my dinner and not worry about Toddler. Toddler feels the same and would rather be at home reading stories with the neighbor girl. But the general run of the mill "Happy Birthday!" girls lunch with grandma at the local hangout she comes.
H and I take her out for lunch/dinner sometimes too. She's actually really good in restraunts. Loves to people watch, color in her highchair etc. I think in 19 months we've only had one awful restraunt experience. We don't get out much though so the great big world always fascinates Rubes and she's pretty good as a result.
Post by emoflamingo on Jan 31, 2013 9:10:11 GMT -5
Yep. We take our kids just about everywhere. Of course, there's not any like 5-star restaurants here, so it's not an issue to have it be "kid inappropriate". They love the Japanese steakhouse though!
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jan 31, 2013 9:13:17 GMT -5
There were ages and stages when we avoided it like the plague. Or, one of us would eat before since we knew we would be outside walking around with the kids the whole meal, or that dd would scream the minute one of us wasn't bouncing her (she was a high needs baby).
Now we do fine. We just make sure to pack lots of books, crayons, etc. and we try very hard to only eat dinner out right at 5 pm, so the kids don't both other patrons, and so the food comes faster so we aren't waiting forever.
If it is a family dinner at a horrible restaurant that I know the kids will be crabby at (due to time of day or length of meal or whatever) we will sometimes bail with them as the excuse just because why have the four of us be miserable for the sake of (extended) family togetherness.
Yes, but we eat out a fair amount regularly, so when family is in town we still go out to eat. We stick mostly to lunch but will do an early dinner. We try to go to restaurants that have food that the kids like which luckily isn't too limiting for us.
I suspect there is a backstory to this question and I'm curious to hear it.
I don't have my own kid yet - but my friends with toddlers all still go out to eat with the kids. We stick to kid friendly places - i.e. has a kid menu, has high chairs, not too quiet - and we head out earlier than we would otherwise, but I can't think of a period where they just totally stopped being ok with going out to eat. My closest friend's oldest is 4.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Jan 31, 2013 10:11:00 GMT -5
Yes. DD is actually better behaved when we are with our extended families. She listens better and doesn't test her boundaries with them. She's always been pretty well behaved in restaurants. She is 3.5 now.
Yes, we've taken our son with us out to eat since he was a baby. When he was tiny, we would go at somewhat odd times to coincide with his schedule. My husband's family is about an hour away from us, so we've often driven down or they've driven up and go out to eat together. We always eat our dinner together as a family, and I think it's good to start them young learning table manners, how to talk with adults, etc.
Of course, there were periods in there where he couldn't sit still for very long, so we'd all take turns keeping him occupied.
There were ages and stages when we avoided it like the plague. Or, one of us would eat before since we knew we would be outside walking around with the kids the whole meal, or that dd would scream the minute one of us wasn't bouncing her (she was a high needs baby).
Now we do fine. We just make sure to pack lots of books, crayons, etc. and we try very hard to only eat dinner out right at 5 pm, so the kids don't both other patrons, and so the food comes faster so we aren't waiting forever.
If it is a family dinner at a horrible restaurant that I know the kids will be crabby at (due to time of day or length of meal or whatever) we will sometimes bail with them as the excuse just because why have the four of us be miserable for the sake of (extended) family togetherness.
I could have written this.....like 25 or 30 years ago. lol
We could take our oldest to a fine dining establishment and people wouldn't know that she was there. Not so much with our second. Sometimes we could tell that she wasn't going to be able to handle it, so it was just easier and far more enjoyable to stay home. Certainly much less stressful for us (and everyone else).
We did manage to take both kids out often enough that they learned how to behave properly in public, but the younger one has some sensory related issues that just made it more challenging.
Yes, we bring DD when we go out to eat - even if extended family is coming. Although I should admit that we don't eat out a lot. When DD was younger she was horrible in restaurants. Now she's pretty good. She gets antsy if she has to sit for too long so we usually go somewhere that has quick service.
emoflamingo, I have a funny story about Japanese steakhouses.... Last year we went to a Japanese steakhouse (hibachi) for my birthday. The chef was tossing broccoli for people to catch in their mouth. It was DD's turn and the broccoli hit her smack in the middle of her forehead. It was still really firm and HOT. She freaked out! We almost had to leave the restaurant. We've never taken her to a hibachi restaurant since and I don't think we'll be taking her to one anytime soon.
Post by beefcheeks on Jan 31, 2013 11:28:16 GMT -5
Yes, all the time. Obviously we don't go to places that would be inappropriate for kids, but other than that...we go TONS of places with both kids (3 and 10 months) several times a month.
I, too, am curious why you're asking. And what the reference to "extended family" is all about!
Post by sierramist03 on Jan 31, 2013 11:32:22 GMT -5
Okay I was curious we don't have kids and I don't have close family with kids other than some cousins. So I was curious. We were going to go down to where SIL/bil/niece live this saturday and I mentioned getting dinner out nothing fancy. Message actually said why don't we do dinner out Saturday night. Didn't even name a restaurant honestly I was going to let them pick. SIL replied why don't we do pizza in instead. I just replied and said I'd rather not do pizza and told Dh to talk to his sister because I couldn't handle it lol. I guess I don't understand how you change soo much because you have a kid. I mean prior to kid they had plans every weekend they were always doing things. Most the time you ask weeks out if you wanted to do dinner with them. Now all they do is stay home all the time. SIL won't even take niece on a quick errand to the store. It's just different to me. I will admit I'm selfish I don't want to go the city and get something we can get anytime so getting pizza in just doesn't sound exciting plus I don't have ever weekend off.
Could it have just been a suggestion and you read too much into it? If I remember right, you have issues with your SIL, right? "Hey, do you want to go out to dinner?" "Eh, not really feeling it, how about pizza at home?" seems like a perfectly normal exchange to me. Knowing them, I probably would have said, "Hey, we'd love a night out on the town - would you be able to get a sitter?" instead so that the expectations were set when I asked the question.
Post by adhdfashion on Jan 31, 2013 11:46:45 GMT -5
Niece might be going through a tantrum throwing/ screeching at the top of her lungs phase. /me shrugs Things do change when you have a kid. Maybe come up with some family friendly fun. Kids are a great excuse to to pretend to be a kid again. LOL Go to a bounce house, eat ice cream for lunch and head to the zoo.
Yeah, I wouldn't read too much into that one exchange, but if this is a pattern for them (i.e. they NEVER go out with the kids) then yes, they're weird.
I guess I don't understand how you change soo much because you have a kid. I mean prior to kid they had plans every weekend they were always doing things. Most the time you ask weeks out if you wanted to do dinner with them. Now all they do is stay home all the time. SIL won't even take niece on a quick errand to the store. It's just different to me. I will admit I'm selfish I don't want to go the city and get something we can get anytime so getting pizza in just doesn't sound exciting plus I don't have ever weekend off.
Eh. DH and I don't go out hardly at all now that we have DD. We do sometimes, but both DH and I work FT with DD in daycare, so we don't always want to go out. DD is a high energy child, and while it's not impossible to go out with her, it's just easier to stay home sometimes. DH and I used to go out all.the.time before having kids. It really does change you. Plus, kids are expensive (FT daycare + Diapers + kid food+ kid clothes= a lot of money), so there's not always a ton of money to go out all the time like we used to. And sure we could get a babysitter, but that's honestly kind of a PITA sometimes. Until you have kids of your own, don't hate or judge IMO.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Jan 31, 2013 12:06:01 GMT -5
Like I said, we do go out plenty with the kids. I have no clue what the back story is with your SIL, but there were definitely ages where the kids were less well behaved in restaurants, and if i had a strained relationship with my in laws, the last thing I would want is yet another thing they are going to judge me about wrt my parenting.
Typically in a situation like that, we would get takeout from whatever kind of restaurant we wanted, and eat at home. My kids are fine now, but my niece is 1.5 and she is a terror in restaurants. It is no fun for my SIL to eat out since she cant enjoy her food and spends the whole time fighting my niece. Sounds like there might be more going on with your SIL given that this has been going on a long time, but try to give the benefit of the doubt.
Ok, I'm not sure of your history with SIL, but we have a 22 month old and he is awful 90% of the time at restaurants. He doesn't want to sit in the highchair for longer than 10 minutes and throws food all over the place and wants to run around like a crazy person. So, we don't go out with him very often. It's also a huge PITA to pack up the diaper bag with stuff to entertain him and make sure we don't forget his sippy cup and god forbid he poops while we're out. For a lot of people, it's a big ordeal to run a simple errand and if you don't have kids, you can't really fathom that. It can be very stressful! I would suggest a sitter or be willing to stay in and get take-out.
Post by emoflamingo on Jan 31, 2013 12:40:42 GMT -5
I think your niece isn't much older than Baby W right? He is kind of a handful sometimes at restaurants. Last night, I ate half my meal and spent the rest of the time H and Monkey were eating standing. But, again, it wasn't like some "coat & tie required" restaurant. However, kids don't learn how to behave in situations like that if they are never in them.
april37, that is Monkey's favorite part! Well, that and the volcano lol. We go at least 3-4 times a year for birthdays with my ILs. We finally got him to try the shrimp this last time (by bribing him with $2) and he tries to catch them, but he has a hard time with depth perception so he usually misses.