Drunk driving

[ilovelamp]

DH and I were talking the other night about how after going out with his friends at the bar, a few of them were driving home. They weren't wasted, but in my opinion they had too many to be driving. We tried to give then rides but they were set on driving.

When we go out, one of us limits ourselves to 2 drinks all night and that's it. Even if we are out for hours and could probably drink more. And back in the day when we were party animals, we would get a cab home.

I guess it just irritates me. If you want to be a grown up and drink, then be responsible about it.

[beachy]

I fully admit that back in the day when I was bartending I had a lot of stupid nights. As in, I would wake up in the morning wondering how I got home, and then found my car half in the grass, half in the driveway. The sad thing is that many nights I would have cops in the bar after their shift and they would be buying my shots, telling me just drop their name if I got pulled over. Definitely not my smartest days.

H also has had his younger, dumb days as well. But we both acknowledge how dumb we were and how incredibly lucky we were, and are nothing like that now. We rarely ever go out, and when we do we have one of us that drives and only has a couple drinks depending on how long we're out. Usually it's just dinner, and then if one of us had 2 drinks and the other only had 1 then that person drives. There is just way too much at stake for either of us to be stupid anymore or take chances.

[Dory1988]

MIL got her second DUI last fall and SIL got 2 DUI's in the past year. I used to drive after 1 or 2 beers but, driving on base, MH and I didn't want to risk it and one of us will always not drink if we go to dinner, out with friends, etc. It's kind of become a habit for me not to drink if I have to drive.

Our units are completely full at the hospital right now and at least 50% of the patients are alcohol related motor vehicle/ATV/motorcycle accidents so it really chaps my cheeks when people insist on drinking to the point where they're probably unable to drive and then drive anyway.

[ilovelamp]

Well I think most youngsters have driven drunk. I know I did when I was young, and I thank God that I never got hurt or hurt anyone. The point is we grew up and I don't understand why some people don't.

[Dory1988]

I feel like you're saying it's okay that you did it in the past because you grew up and changed. That's like saying it's okay for an 18 year old to go out and drink and drive as long as they don't get hurt. How is putting yourself and others in danger ever okay? I'm sorry I will never hate the person for it but drinking and driving does absolutely disgust me. I hate that I ever did it. As MH said to me, what if that person killed a member of your family? How would you feel? The "everybody did it/is doing it mentality" sucks.

[ilovelamp]

Jun 3, 2012 9:07:37 GMT -5 Dory1988 said:

I feel like you're saying it's okay that you did it in the past because you grew up and changed. That's like saying it's okay for an 18 year old to go out and drink and drive as long as they don't get hurt. How is putting yourself and others in danger ever okay? I'm sorry I will never hate the person for it but drinking and driving does absolutely disgust me. I hate that I ever did it. As MH said to me, what if that person killed a member of your family? How would you feel? The "everybody did it/is doing it mentality" sucks.

No, I was saying that to point out that I'm not perfect and I used to be stupid. I think it was horrible that I put people in danger and I am thankful to God that I never hurt anyone. I definitely don't have the "everyone does it" mentality. I just can't grasp how an adult who knows the consequences of their actions can still drive drunk.

[ilovelamp]

And while I'm not making excuses or saying it's okay for ANYONE to drunk drive, I will definitely judge harder and hold adults to a higher standard than a teenager.

[Dory1988]

Jun 3, 2012 9:34:27 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

And while I'm not making excuses or saying it's okay for ANYONE to drunk drive, I will definitely judge harder and hold adults to a higher standard than a teenager.

I can agree with that.

[ggirl]

Agree with Lamp. I was stupid in high school/college, thought I was invincible basically. And like Beachy, the fact that I could probably drop a name and get out of it didn't help matters.
But then I grew up, and realized I was stupid. And it was an "everyone does it mentality". In my hometown, it is still extremely rare to see a "dd" when out at the local bars. I know that sounds awful, but it's true.

[k everdeen]

When we go out one of us is always the DD and doesn't drink anything or drinks very little. If we're taking people on base then that person won't drink anything. On special things like New Years Eve, 4th of July or Cinco de mayo we cab there and cab back. I'm too paranoid to take risks.

I have a pretty low tolerance for DUI's regardless of age, but I probably do side eye older adults more. We had someone in our 'group' get a DUI a couple months back. He lives less than a mile up the road from the bars he was at and was 2x the legal limit. I had/have no sympathy for him. If he couldn't afford the $5 cab he should have walked his happy ass home.

[audette]

There is no excuse for drinking and driving. None. Being young and dumb isn't an excuse, either, as far as I am concerned. The risk is too extreme.

When DH and I go out, one of us doesn't drink alcohol, at all. Or we get a cab home. Or we are in a larger group and someone else is DD. Although, often one of us will DD, because someone else thinks it's OK to have a couple drinks when they are the DD, and we're not cool with that.


A family friend committed vehicular homicide while drunk, a while ago. It totally destroyed her family. Her in jail, couple divorced, kids in therapy, you name it.


I also automatically think less of someone who chooses to drink (even one or two drinks) and drives. Again, it's just too easy to avoid. This is one area where I am have extremely strong opinions. Apparently all the anti-D&D publicity hit at just the right age for me...

[verycontrary247]

I am against drunk driving, but I think some of you are going overboard. Only 2 drinks no matter how long you're there?

[prettyinpink]

We are an oddity. Neither of us drink and never have. The majority of our friends don't drink either so we never have to deal with this issue.

[verycontrary247]

Also, I think there is a huge difference between drunk driving and drinking and driving. One is unacceptable, the other is circumstantial.

[Deleted]

I feel guilty if I have a drink and drive regardless of the amount. I can tell it affects my vision and motor skills. I couldn't imagine drinking two drinks and then driving. Maybe I'm a lightweight but one time I had a drink and we were at the restaurant for two hours and I was still skeptical if I was below the legal limit because of how I felt.

[amaristella]

Jun 3, 2012 11:40:21 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I am against drunk driving, but I think some of you are going overboard. Only 2 drinks no matter how long you're there?

Some people just don't handle alcohol well. DH and I both have exceptionally low alcohol tolerance.

If I'm driving I won't have more than a couple sips of anything. DH hitched a ride home with his coworker the other night after only 2 beers.

[beans]

Jun 3, 2012 8:35:23 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Well I think most youngsters have driven drunk. I know I did when I was young, and I thank God that I never got hurt or hurt anyone. The point is we grew up and I don't understand why some people don't.

I think "most" is an overstatement. Maybe most the people you knew. Certainly not most the people I know. This is one thing I'm super judgy about. I had a sorority sister killed in a drunk driving accident (she was walking and sober). This is never ok to me and I don't hang out with people who would drive drunk. Even when I was young and stupid, this was not something I was stupid about.

[ilovelamp]

Jun 3, 2012 11:32:21 GMT -5 audette said:

There is no excuse for drinking and driving. None. Being young and dumb isn't an excuse, either, as far as I am concerned.

Did anyone say it was?

[ilovelamp]

Jun 3, 2012 11:40:21 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I am against drunk driving, but I think some of you are going overboard. Only 2 drinks no matter how long you're there?

Yeah, I get paranoid about maybe I'm not really sober. So we just limit it.

[Dory1988]

Jun 3, 2012 13:18:26 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Jun 3, 2012 11:32:21 GMT -5 audette said:

There is no excuse for drinking and driving. None. Being young and dumb isn't an excuse, either, as far as I am concerned.

Did anyone say it was?

It may not have been said so much as implied.

[beachy]

Jun 3, 2012 11:40:21 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I am against drunk driving, but I think some of you are going overboard. Only 2 drinks no matter how long you're there?

I know for me and H we will have more than 2 if we're driving, especially if we are out for hours. We both have a pretty high tolerance, and 1 drink per hour keeps you sober. For me I was just using 1 or 2 drinks as saying when we go out to dinner. Neither of us usually has more than 2 drinks with dinner unless we are out with friends and there a long time.

I'm not justifying drinking and driving, but if you are responsible and know what you're drinking and how much and know how you're handling it, then I don't think there is anything wrong with having a few drinks if you're out for a while and then driving. That's fine if you choose not to drink at all if you're driving, but I don't think you should judge others for completely staying within legal limits.

[ilovelamp]

Jun 3, 2012 12:55:56 GMT -5 beans said:

Jun 3, 2012 8:35:23 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Well I think most youngsters have driven drunk. I know I did when I was young, and I thank God that I never got hurt or hurt anyone. The point is we grew up and I don't understand why some people don't.

I think "most" is an overstatement. Maybe most the people you knew. Certainly not most the people I know. This is one thing I'm super judgy about. I had a sorority sister killed in a drunk driving accident (she was walking and sober). This is never ok to me and I don't hang out with people who would drive drunk. Even when I was young and stupid, this was not something I was stupid about.

Did you read any of my other posts where I said how against dd I am?

[beans]

Jun 3, 2012 13:48:01 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Jun 3, 2012 12:55:56 GMT -5 beans said:

I think "most" is an overstatement. Maybe most the people you knew. Certainly not most the people I know. This is one thing I'm super judgy about. I had a sorority sister killed in a drunk driving accident (she was walking and sober). This is never ok to me and I don't hang out with people who would drive drunk. Even when I was young and stupid, this was not something I was stupid about.

Did you read any of my other posts where I said how against dd I am?

Yes. My reading comprehension is quite good, thanks. I was responding directly to your notion that "most young people do this" my opinion is that most is an exaggeration. The rest of my comment was just my general thoughts on the topic, not directed at you per say, so you really don't need to be so defensive.

[ilovelamp]

Jun 3, 2012 14:00:28 GMT -5 beans said:

Jun 3, 2012 13:48:01 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Did you read any of my other posts where I said how against dd I am?

Yes. My reading comprehension is quite good, thanks. I was responding directly to your notion that "most young people do this" my opinion is that most is an exaggeration. The rest of my comment was just my general thoughts on the topic, not directed at you per say, so you really don't need to be so defensive.

I wasn't saying it rudely, I honestly thought maybe you skipped down. Your right, most might be an overstatement. I will say the majority of people I knew at my school drove after drinking.

[decemberrain]

I do agree that most young people (in my area) have drove after drinking. I have not. My uncle was killed in a drunk driving accident when he was 26 so as kids NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE was just pounded into our heads. Then about 2 years ago a man on a motorcycle (who we found out later was an undercover cop) was struck by a car that was being driven by a drunk teenager and he bled to death on the street in front of my house with my mom and I both trying to put pressure on his wounds. So yea can honestly say I've never driven drunk nor will I. Out of all of my college and high school friends I would have to say that more than half of them have driven after drinking. I've been stuck places by a few friends after refusing to get in the car with them because they were so drunk. In general young people don't think drinking and driving is that big of a deal, until they get caught or kill someone that is.

[beans]

Maybe I'm in the minority here. But I'm thinking "who are these people hanging out with?" I can't ever recall being in a situation with friends when someone was too tipsy to drive insisting they should drive anyway or me needing to flat out refuse to be a passenger in a car with someone like that. And I have had quite a few different circle of friends between hs, college, post college, grad school, and living at two different bases. Like, everyone I've gone drinking with finds it completely reasonable to have a DD or get a cab, or if everyone wants to drink we stay at someone's home. This is something we talk about ahead of time. I mean, yeah I get that it happens but is my experience really all that outside the norm? And when I was a freshman my college was the number one party school in America! I'm also more than happy to play dd whenever... I'm more than happy to be sober to ensure people (myself included) get home safe - not saying anyone here isnt.

[ggirl]

Jun 3, 2012 15:41:38 GMT -5 beans said:

Maybe I'm in the minority here. But I'm thinking "who are these people hanging out with?" I can't ever recall being in a situation with friends when someone was too tipsy to drive insisting they should drive anyway or me needing to flat out refuse to be a passenger in a car with someone like that. And I have had quite a few different circle of friends between hs, college, post college, grad school, and living at two different bases. Like, everyone I've gone drinking with finds it completely reasonable to have a DD or get a cab, or if everyone wants to drink we stay at someone's home. This is something we talk about ahead of time. I mean, yeah I get that it happens but is my experience really all that outside the norm? And when I was a freshman my college was the number one party school in America! I'm also more than happy to play dd whenever... I'm more than happy to be sober to ensure people (myself included) get home safe - not saying anyone here isnt.

Honestly? In my hometown yeah, its totally all over the place. At least with the crowd out at the bars. And most of the people in the bars know enough cops, sherrifs, etc to drop names. Off the top of my head, I can name at least 5 names I could use if I got pulled over for anything (in my hometown). Most people know more that, and usually have some sort of sticker or card in their wallets, so it becomes "no big deal". I don't agree with it obviously, and I expect to see a huge change soon, especially with this huge DWI trial that happened recently in a suburb of my area of town. I've noticed there has been a slight shift though since it the consequences are becoming harsher. But 10 years ago when I was 18, yeah no one thought twice about it. It was extremely rare to find someone in the bar that wasn't drinking.


I think that entire post is rambling, but you get my idea. I hope haha.

[beans]

Jun 3, 2012 11:40:21 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I am against drunk driving, but I think some of you are going overboard. Only 2 drinks no matter how long you're there?

See the thing is, a lot of people assume they're fine because they only had however many drinks in however long. But, if you're using the one drink in one hour thing, you really need to take into account that nobody really gives you "one serving" of alcohol (i believe 5 oz of wine= one seriving. I dont ever drink that) Then add in the fact that higher proof alcohol changes that calculation. Women metabolize slower than men, body fat affects metabolism as well. Add in the fact that we get "used" to the effects of alcohol if you drink frequently. But even if you think you are fine because of your tolerance level, you still have cognitive impairment, which negatively impacts driving reaction ability despite the fact that you think you're fine. Adding in multiple drinks over multiple hours, your body can't keep up with the metabolism -especially if you've had more than one actual serving in an hour. If you have a pint of beer (16 oz) an hour- that's more than the "serving size" of 12 oz that the formula says you can typically metabolize. So you drink two pints in two hours, you're 8 oz over what that formula says your body can get rid of in that time frame. Add another pint, you're now a full serving over what your body can handle, and so on and so forth.

My point is that most people don't recognize what the actual effect is until later. I know for me there have been times when we leave the bar (and someone else is driving) thinking "oh, I only had x in x, I feel fine, I could have driven." then I get home and sit down and realize "oh wow. I'm more tipsy than I thought" that's why I don't have more than one drink or maybe two of we are there for like three or four hours * eta- if I'm driving- and 95% of the time I'm driving it's one or nothing* It's just safer. I don't ever really *need* to drink that bad I guess.

[ilovelamp]

Dh's uncle just recently got his 5th DUI (going 90 mph on the wrong side of the road). He's an engineer making great money, 3 great kids, beautiful house. He only got SIX months jail time and he goes to work during the day. Wtf. Does it take him actually killing someone to be punished? It's sickening.

[ggirl]

Jun 3, 2012 16:56:19 GMT -5 ilovelamp said:

Dh's uncle just recently got his 5th DUI (going 90 mph on the wrong side of the road). He's an engineer making great money, 3 great kids, beautiful house. He only got SIX months jail time and he goes to work during the day. Wtf. Does it take him actually killing someone to be punished? It's sickening.

Yeah, that might not even happen.

this happened in Buffalo recently. www.buffalonews.com/topics/dr-james-corasanti-trial/article884833.ece

He was found not guilty of everything except misdemeanor DWI. People are shocked that he got off. He had blood drawn 2 hours after the accident and was still legally drunk.

ETA: This is probably not the best link to show the story, but it gives you an idea.