I will say, though, just make sure you won't be resentful if you do move. Like, "Well, H is happy, but I'm miserable, and I'll take it out on him." I mean, you might not be able to know for sure how you'll feel, but if you think that's a strong possibility, let it out. And if you/he thinks that making him pass up his dream job will make him resentful, you should know that, too.
Unless you're currently in your dream job, I personally think you have to go. Dream jobs don't come around that often. Commit to 2 or 3 years with an agreement that y'all will reassess at that point.
Or, how about my coworker who gave me an intro to a class saying "sushi is really interesting. She hikes and skis. And has traveled out of the country." I was a novelty. It sucked.
Well, I owe you all an enormous thank you today for helping me work through this "out loud."
I'm sure it will be an ugly process for me, as I am a person of routines and predictability and all that will certainly be disrupted over the next several months. Also, I am having a little of panic of the "OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS IS OUR LAST MOVE AND I DIE IN INDIANA?!?!?!" I guess the whole thing makes me feel kind of old. Is this where I thought I'd be at 35? Definitely not. Am I upset about that? I'm not sure.
It's ok to not be 100% thrilled about moving. Moving to Indy is a death of a dream. But with the death of a dream, you get to create a new one.
When I got married, I thought we would be poor Christian missionaries for the rest of our lives. Then my H changed career paths, got his MBA, and we thought we were moving to VA/DC. As of now, it looks like we might be staying here forever (and you talk about culture- the most culture this place has is an Olive Garden, LOL).
It's hard to make big changes. As much as I freak out over change, I've forced myself to focus on things that I can control (like my attitude). I allow myself to be sad about the things that will never be (like living near family), but don't allow myself to harbor bitterness. I've finally accepted that this is where we will most likely be for the long haul, and am beginning to get more involved in the community. I'm SO much happier now that I feel like I'm getting out, and beginning to make this place my home.
What sucks, is your H will have to give his answer soon. You have such a short amount of time to process everything. Good luck with everything!
Well, I owe you all an enormous thank you today for helping me work through this "out loud."
I'm sure it will be an ugly process for me, as I am a person of routines and predictability and all that will certainly be disrupted over the next several months. Also, I am having a little of panic of the "OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS IS OUR LAST MOVE AND I DIE IN INDIANA?!?!?!" I guess the whole thing makes me feel kind of old. Is this where I thought I'd be at 35? Definitely not. Am I upset about that? I'm not sure.
It's ok to not be 100% thrilled about moving. Moving to Indy is a death of a dream. But with the death of a dream, you get to create a new one.
When I got married, I thought we would be poor Christian missionaries for the rest of our lives. Then my H changed career paths, got his MBA, and we thought we were moving to VA/DC. As of now, it looks like we might be staying here forever (and you talk about culture- the most culture this place has is an Olive Garden, LOL).
It's hard to make big changes. As much as I freak out over change, I've forced myself to focus on things that I can control (like my attitude). I allow myself to be sad about the things that will never be (like living near family), but don't allow myself to harbor bitterness. I've finally accepted that this is where we will most likely be for the long haul, and am beginning to get more involved in the community. I'm SO much happier now that I feel like I'm getting out, and beginning to make this place my home.
What sucks, is your H will have to give his answer soon. You have such a short amount of time to process everything. Good luck with everything!
I totally agree with this, and I would also say it's okay to mourn the loss of what you thought you would have. It's probably better to be less bitter than I am when that topic comes up for us...lol. We had planned to move near Louisville and be near my family, but things didn't work out. I still ache a bit when I think about it; I think that's relatively normal.
But seriously, making it your home and giving it your all makes all the difference. I spent the first few years here thinking we'd move back to Indiana (hey, way to live MY dream... ), but in the past year or so, I've realized that we're staying here until we retire, at least, and I've started getting involved and making it our home instead of just surviving and trying to get through. It's made a huge difference in my level of happiness.
I have literally not read a single response. However, DH's family is from Indy and we are considering moving there. His family lives in Carmel and the kids all went to school in the Carmel school district. DH has always spoken very highly of it. For high school, he went to Brebeuf (private Jesuit school), and he does nothing but rave about that place. His brother went to Cathedral for high school. Just some thoughts on school districts and a good location to live for you.
Do NOT send your kids to Park Tudor if you are considering private options.
Well, I owe you all an enormous thank you today for helping me work through this "out loud."
I'm sure it will be an ugly process for me, as I am a person of routines and predictability and all that will certainly be disrupted over the next several months. Also, I am having a little of panic of the "OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS IS OUR LAST MOVE AND I DIE IN INDIANA?!?!?!" I guess the whole thing makes me feel kind of old. Is this where I thought I'd be at 35? Definitely not. Am I upset about that? I'm not sure.
I'm late to the party, but everyone else gave the advice I would have given anyway. I can relate to you on this part though. If you change the caps to "Alabama" then you have me. Sometimes I still look around and think to myself "JFC. Do I *really* live in Alabama? What the hell am I doing here?"
It sounds like this job for your DH has the potential to improve the quality of life for your whole family immensely, and that's a HUGE thing. When a job has the ability to do that, it's a pretty incredible thing. And it's not like you'd be moving to the middle of bumfuck nowhere - you would still have fairly easy access to Chicago, and other cities.
Home isn't the location - home is the life you build at the location. And it sounds like this job for your DH will allow you to build a pretty nice life for yourselves, even if there seem like some negatives at first. I would say to go for it.
Indianapolis Move - it does not need to be a permanent choice. Your attitude will determine your happiness in any city. so look for and find the positives - they are there.