Okay guys, here it is: where should we live?

[Deleted]

How much are mr man's student loans? (sorry, I'm a cash money ho. I always go with whatever puts the most scratch in my fabric fund. Well usually. lol)

[runforrest]

Ugh, that's a tough one.

His job in Indy sounds amazing but it sounds like it would not be a good fit for you or the kids.

I would stay. Chicago is amazing and there is a lot of opportunity here.

[Deleted]

I think it seems like a no-brainer based on that list, but the politics and culture would sway me to staying in Chicago. But you are in Chicago now and not very happy, right, bc your H's job is so crappy.

Can you afford to stay home with your H's new job? Not long term, but enough so that you can take your time finding a new job?

[Anne Blythe]

Mar 11, 2013 13:20:05 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

How much are mr man's student loans? (sorry, I'm a cash money ho. I always go with whatever puts the most scratch in my fabric fund. Well usually. lol)

I'm here too. I don't know where you live now, but would the financial benefits be enough to offset the lack of a cultured lifestyle? 

[gpw]

That SL forgiveness is just such a big carrot for me.. that's a tough decision

[Deleted]

It is so hard for me to be objective because I so dearly hated Indianapolis the few times I went there. Like wanted to stab myself in the eye.

But I'm also sure that you can find good schools and know the difference that not hating your job makes.

So harumph. I got no advice. Just good wishes.

[Anne Blythe]

If I was offered a job with SL forgiveness.... I'd never be able to take it because I would immediately die of joy.

[NitaX]

Mar 11, 2013 13:23:29 GMT -5 gpw said:

That SL forgiveness is just such a big carrot for me.. that's a tough decision

Same here. 

[StrawberryBlondie]

I'd go with Indy. It wouldn't have to be forever, right?

Sent from my Nexus 7 using proboards

[mominatrix]

I'm worrying less and less about how liberal or conservative my area is... when you search, you'll be able to find your tribe.

Ditto with schools... You don't need 100 great ones, you only need one. And with a lower cost of living, that one can be private.


I've always been convinced about the importance of being happy at work. We spend vast swaths of time there, so if it sucks, it impacts our whole lives.


I'd go.

[sunterp]

Could he commute from Bloomington? I know it is not the same culture as Chicago but it is blue. We moved from Chicago to Bloomington and it was an adjustment at first but we really loved it, although my DH was at IU so no major commute.

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

I know you have a lot of flexibility right now with regard to your work/life balance. How much time do you spend at home? Would you be comfortable (i.e. not ready to kill yourself and/or a child and beg for adult interaction if you were at home all the time, at least at first)?

If it were me, probably Indy. You have indicated that you are disillusioned with the specific place you're at, your husband hates his new job, you hate dealing with the insurance at his new job, so it seems like his misery is also misery for you with all the changes. Seems like there is more opportunity for at least one of you to be happy in Indy. But I'm only judging based on what I see here, and not what your life looks like every day. Could you be happy if nothing changed? Both of you guys?

[eddy]

Where would you be financially better off? It looks like it would be Indy.

I feel like I could be happy almost anywhere so I am clouded by that a bit. Especially if we were doing well financially.

[ringstrue]

To be fair, there are Liberal and Conservative parts of every state and every area. I was talking about moving to another town 20 min from me and my friend said don't do it cuz a lot of Republicans live there, lol.

Same for the schools. Wouldn't you do private school either way?? Are the issues with the schools due to how they run or what your child would or wouldn't learn?

You could still go to Chicago for trips or a weekend away, yes?

My impression is that DHs job needs to be the one that is stable and yours is more able to be flexible. With a LCOL, you could maybe take your time finding a job you like and doing more activities?

It just seems like long term Indianapolis would be easier and you'd always be fighting the current, so to speak, in Chicago, for the sake of museums and events.

[Velar Fricative]

Well, I think Chicago is a great city but the perks of Indy (hellllllooooooo SL forgiveness!!!) make Indy sound like the better option. Ditto mominatrix about the school dilemma.

[ESF]

Indianapolis sounds pretty shitty to me. Can I ask - what are his options like for finding a better job where you are? I am more likely to be accepting of shit job moves if a spouse has exhausted all options in the more desirable, current location.

[hopecounts]

Mar 11, 2013 13:20:05 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

How much are mr man's student loans? (sorry, I'm a cash money ho. I always go with whatever puts the most scratch in my fabric fund. Well usually. lol)

Depending on how large his loans are I could put up with a lot to get rid of SLs.
the money at frees up could be put towards travel with and without the kids for culture/trips back to Chicago/private schools/etc.

[sunterp]

I agree you can visit Chicago. We did several weekend trips from Bloomington, with two kids in tow. I would say being happy at a job and making a reasonable amount of money would more than compensate for the lack of museums.

[pescalita]

In addition to the $$, the health insurance, less hours and more autonomy is a bonus to you and the kids as well as your H. So that sways me towards Indy.

Do you think you get a lot out of the culture in Chicago? Like, we've got some great stuff, but we get out to see it about never at this point in our lives.

Will there be resentment either way? I'd watch out for this going "we moved for him" or "I gave up that job for her". That's not really a plus or minus either way.

[caden]

How hard would it be for your DH to find another Chicago job? It sounds to me like you would stay there except for this job opportunity. Maybe there are other job opportunities. If it's impossible for him to get one there then I'd move. You'll find a school and friendship circle that suits you. I live in a liberal area of a blue state and there are plenty of people all over the spectrum.

[pescalita]

Also, this post isn't really fair without pretty houses.

[heyjude]

Flip a coin.

No serious. It helps. Not that you necessarily do what the coins said but it does help you understand your emotions better about either choice.

[Deleted]

OK, so I do not mean to diminish the importance of your career or job prospects, and my inner feminist cringes that I'm saying this. BUT. Since you are already PT and your H is the breadwinner, I do think it's important to think long and hard about how he can be happy at his job. Being happy (or, at a minimum, not miserable) at your job can totally revolutionize the way you look at life. How would it affect your marriage if his job situation changed? Is it possible to find anything comparable in Chicago? Those are the kinds of things that push me toward Indy.

I know it would take some work, but given that you grew up in the area, I bet you could find something once you start really looking and networking.

That said, I still hate Indianapolis, so I don't envy your dilemma.

[teflep]

If I can make it in maryland, you can survive in IN

Okay, seriously, with that exception, the sl forgiveness and top health insurance would sway there for me, given pts, etc.

[mominatrix]

Mar 11, 2013 13:38:09 GMT -5 pescalita said:

Also, this post isn't really fair without pretty houses.

I'm looking at Indianapolis houses right now. Because I'm sick that way...


Here's one:  www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/4409-N-Meridian-St_Indianapolis_IN_46208_M47232-25580



or, farmhouse:  www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/65-N-700-E_Whitestown_IN_46075_M34618-95894



Victorian:  www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/645-S-Meridian-St_Indianapolis_IN_46225_M38335-08205

Victorian:  www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/4602-N-Pennsylvania-St_Indianapolis_IN_46205_M39868-99196


Pretty!:  www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/3610-Central-Ave_Indianapolis_IN_46205_M42609-03871

[Deleted]

Plus, I don't know that the current job, health insurance, student loan sitch is allowing you to enjoy the Chicago culture, is it?

[eclaires]

I'd go to Indy. Now I lean more conservative than you do and I actually like Indianapolis, so obviously I'm a bit biased. But I do think you can find like minded people and good schools. It may take more effort but if the benefits (dream job, SL forgiveness, health insurance) are worth it, I'd do it. Most of the couples with young kids I know in Indy lean liberal or are really moderate. Also, stay away from any churches in the Lafayette diocese. It is very conservative IME. Churches north of a certain point are Lafayette diocese.

And tbh, there is a lot I don't like about where we are but the pros and MH's job situation outweigh the things I dislike.

[Deleted]

Being a liberal in a super red state is not be end of the world. I've done it my whole life:) And surely there are some decent schools in some part of Indianapolis.

I think moving would probably be best.

[blindyswife]

Mar 11, 2013 13:25:55 GMT -5 Anne Blythe said:

If I was offered a job with SL forgiveness.... I'd never be able to take it because I would immediately die of joy.

Same.

All the monetary perks make me say Indy is an easy choice. 

[munkii]

Mar 11, 2013 13:50:17 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

Being a liberal in a super red state is not be end of the world. I've done it my whole life:) And surely there are some decent schools in some part of Indianapolis. 

As a liberal living in Indy, I can say with certainty that you will find you will find your group. I will add, though, that Indy is definitely friendlier politically than Hamilton Co just in case you're looking in those there.