Post by verycontrary247 on Mar 20, 2013 5:53:12 GMT -5
I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and hopeful that we could handle this like mature adults but that was blown away in about 30 minutes.
When I walked outside the car I drove when I left last night (which is the car i normally drive) was gone, replaced by the crappy one that he trashed. All my school stuff is in the trunk of car 1, so I try to call/text him so i can get that and discovered my phone has been disconnected. I can't go to his work because you have to have a special pass to get into his specific parking lot.
All of our money is in an account with his name on it. I know he's already managed to remove me from the "authorized user" list of our CC, not sure if I'm blocked from our regular checking/savings too.
So basically I have an unfaithful husband, no phone, a car that barely works, no money and I can't even go to class without my books because the car he left was running on fumes.
Who have I been married to for the past 4 years? What a fucking joke.
I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and hopeful that we could handle this like mature adults but that was blown away in about 30 minutes.
When I walked outside the car I drove when I left last night (which is the car i normally drive) was gone, replaced by the crappy one that he trashed. All my school stuff is in the trunk of car 1, so I try to call/text him so i can get that and discovered my phone has been disconnected. I can't go to his work because you have to have a special pass to get into his specific parking lot.
All of our money is in an account with his name on it. I know he's already managed to remove me from the "authorized user" list of our CC, not sure if I'm blocked from our regular checking/savings too.
So basically I have an unfaithful husband, no phone, a car that barely works, no money and I can't even go to class without my books because the car he left was running on fumes.
Who have I been married to for the past 4 years? What a fucking joke.
Post by underwaterrhymes on Mar 20, 2013 6:24:28 GMT -5
I am so, so sorry.
Step #1 - Call in to work / school. Go to the house (with a friend - NOT alone) and get your things and your cats.
Step #2 - Call a lawyer. I'd also call your checking account / savings account people and sort out why you've been removed. I don't think he can just remove you like that without proof of divorce, etc.
Step #3 - Give yourself a hug. Go to lunch with a friend. Call him every name in the book. Cry. Deal with the rest of this shit later and for today just let yourself be pissed and sad. You can sort out what this means and what needs to be done long term later, but for now just hang in there.
Ack- sweets!!!! What a great situation for you to wake up to, huh?! Argh!! I wish I could kick his ass for you! Ok, I AM glad that this has lit a fire under your bum to seek legal counsel ASAP, & see what your next move should be/ how to proceed. (You might even get some advice on here) AND @ least you have the motivation you need to nail this dick to the wall in any/every way possible during court proceedings. And last, at least you found out his true character before wasting more than a couple years/ having kids/ etc. You'll absolutely recover from this & it'll just be a little blip on the history radar in years to come. Hugs. So many hugs.
Also, you won't be able to see this truth for awhile, but someday you will look back and be grateful that he showed you his true colors. Because you are getting out now while you are young, hot and child free.
Seriously, this is just the beginning of some shitty things but also the beginning of some amazing things!! Hang in there.
Are you sure that he took you off the bank accts? If it was a joint acct I don't think he can do that, at the very least he would have to call or go in. If this all went down after the bank closed he would not have had time. I would go to the bank as soon as it opens and try to withdraw as much money as you can.
Post by nightandday on Mar 20, 2013 6:48:20 GMT -5
So sorry you're going through this. Everyone has given you great advice. Definitely get a lawyer and take a police escort with you, just in case he trashes something and tries to accuse you later of doing it. ((hugs))
So sorry you're going through this. Everyone has given you great advice. Definitely get a lawyer and take a police escort with you, just in case he trashes something and tries to accuse you later of doing it. ((hugs))
Photograph the house and car when you leave a make a list of what you took. I wouldn't give it to him now, maybe you could get the cop to sign off on what you took. Make sure you keep the cops contact info. Your H is going to play this dirty, you may need the cop in the future.
I know none of you ladies know me here, I am still trying to find the right board that I fit in to.
First off I am so very sorry you are going through this, bug ole hugs being sent your way.
I walked on my hubby many years ago, and he tried to take me off accounts, and could do it, so first thing get your butt to the bankand take what you can!!! Don't let him have the upper hand.
I also wouldn't worry about the pass thing at his work, TAKE THE POLICE, AND tell them he came and took the car ( is it in both of your names or just his) I would be showing up at his work, and make sure that someone knows what he did.
GET A LAWYER, get your stuff with a police escort, and if he trashed anything, make sure you take pics and show what he did.
3rd, have a drink, talk to some friends and get your head together. It is very overwhelming and a huge decision you have made and obviously a good one, and you are the bigger and will remain the bigger person. He probably can't believe that you took the step, and reacted the only way he knows how, is like a child. Good luck to you, but document every conversation, anything possible, and don't let him talk you into shit to make you feel guilty. He will try to do that as well and turn things around.
Things will work out for you it will be a hard go but you have plenty of support, from here it looks like, and concentrate on you for now, and what you can do to make this situation better.
hope this helps just a bit. You made the big step, that was the hardest decision to make so the rest of them will be much easier.
Post by partiallysunny on Mar 20, 2013 7:18:51 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. Everyone has giving you great advice, I just want to ditto the police escort and having the police officer sign off on the things you've taken.