Did you register

[Deleted]

if you lived together pre-marriage?

I am trying to convince SO that this is normal. He's like, but we already have stuff! And I am arguing that, while our mismatched silverware and ikea plates (and pots and pans) are nice, I think we should register for some nicer things. He's also concerned that it would seem like we're being greedy.

But people like buying things for weddings right? Right?

[Deleted]

Yes, we registered but not for much and only at Target and BB&B so people could get gift cards. Definitely not for china, silver, crystal, etc.

[Deleted]

We lived together and still got lots of presents. I don't think anyone side eyed me for having a shower. We focused on nicer upgrades, but had lots of smaller, less expensive items on the registry.

[Deleted]

I don't think we'll register for anything when we do it but we're really determined to keep things relatively low key and small. I don't think there's anything wrong with it though.

ETA:  Plus we're thinking about a destination wedding and I can't see "asking" people to buy gifts if we're already asking them to drive six hours each way and then spend money to stay in a hotel for two nights.  

[joshlyman]

Yep - there was a ton of stuff we had that was old and/or hand me downs, so it was nice to get some newer matching stuff. We still had a majority of people give us money though (not that I am complaining!). If/when I get married again I won't register though, but I also won't have a big wedding and will say no gifts.

[Deleted]

We already have a set of "nice" dishes from my grandmother, so it'd mostly be everyday dishes, some better knives and cookware and that sort of thing. No crystal or anything like that.

[joshlyman]

Mar 30, 2013 12:40:42 GMT -5 @amoosed said:

We already have a set of "nice" dishes from my grandmother, so it'd mostly be everyday dishes, some better knives and cookware and that sort of thing. No crystal or anything like that.

This is exactly what I did. And towels. I love new towels lol

[pantsparty]

Yes, of course.

[murdock]

Yes, we didn't have much spending money so we still needed many basics. Also, DH's grandmother informed us she was buying us a nice set of china whether we wanted it or not, so we better pick something out. Six years later, the set is still in the boxes.

[iamgrace]

Yes. We lived together for four years and still registered.

[birdistheword]

We lived together before we were married, and we registered. Everything we had was really old or a hand-me-down. I don't think anyone side-eyed us for it, or if they did, they didn't say anything about it. Everyone else we know who also lived together registered as well. I didn't know anyone disapproved of this. I understand maybe not wanting to register if it's a second wedding or something*, but I thought pretty much everyone registered if it's both people's first marriage.

*I wouldn't care if someone registered for a second wedding, just wanted to clarify that I understand if the couple themselves feels uncomfortable registering.

[goaskalice]

We did, but we were only 24 so we didn't have anything really nice. There's always something that needs to be replaced though, so even now I bet I would want to register.

[nomad100]

We did, including for china and crystal. However, we only lived together for about 6 months before we got married and he moved into my place filled with hand me downs and IKEA stuff.

(And we will be using the china and crystal tomorrow.

[daisybuchannan]

Absolutely! I don't think I've ever given this a second thought. No one will judge!

[Deleted]

Yes, but if it makes a difference we only lived together for about six months before we got married.

[suzyp]

Yup.

And it was DH's second wedding - and we got gifts from people who went to both. And we were 35 and 45 when we got married.

[ralphlauren]

Yes.

[azurely]

Yes.

Register; no one will think anything of it.

[lola]

Mar 30, 2013 12:51:43 GMT -5 AutumnRose25 said:

Yes

Not only had we lived together, but it was my H's second marriage (my first)

Sure we each had "stuff" we had each owned before we lived together that we blended when we moved in but it was a blend of my college stuff and some random stuff from him

and besides, isn't the point of wedding gifts to give the couple new "together" stuff? 

Us too!

We registered. We had a small wedding and already had most of the basics, but we registered for new dishes (Fiestaware!), wine glasses, a blender, etc. Nothing crazy, but I don't think anybody even thought twice about it.

[Deleted]

Yes to both. We married the year I graduated from law school. We didn't have anything. I don't think anyone side eyed us.

[dragonfly08]

We did. But we hadn't moved in together until after we were engaged, and there were lots of things we definitely either didn't have or needed to upgrade. It's sort of expected where I'm from...registry gifts are what people give for a shower. You don't have that info available you're going to get asked for it (or, at least, your shower hostesses will).

[UMaineTeach]

yes

[midnightrae]

I live with my FI and we are registering for stuff. We need some new silverware and some towels and bedding and stuff like that. We probably aren't going to register for too many things since we already have some stuff.

[Deleted]

No we did not. We were "older" though and each had nice stuff when we moved in together. If we had registered it would have been to upgrade our current stuff which would have been to All Clad etc. We felt bad doing that since our families aren't well off.

[Deleted]

We did, and we got crap for our registry being a) too short and b) not enough higher end items on it. so I doubt anyone will side eye you for having one.

As long as you aren't sending out the information in the invites only the people who ask or really go looking will know you have one. And those are the people who genuinely want to get you something so why not help them out.

[Deleted]

We lived together and it was my second marriage, and we still registered.  We didn't do a big registry, though (but mainly because it was a second marriage).  There will always be guests who prefer to pick gifts from a registry.  We were set with cookware, glassware, china, etc, but we registered for a lot of camping gear, some board games, and a few other random things.

[rex]

Yes. Now is the time to register for the nicer stuff!

[sent]

Yes, do it! I had a version of everything I needed for a kitchen before I got married.  I used the registry as an opportunity to upgrade my $8 hand mixer from Walmart to a $40 Kitchen Aid one in Cocoa Silver that matched all my other Cocoa Silver appliances I also registered for.  Now if only I had a big kitchen with counter space to put all the Cocoa Silver stuff out and use it!  (Next apartment!)

I side eye the people who DON'T register because then it feels like a money grab to me. My husband's friend didn't register when he got married. We went to visit them at their gorgeous apartment in Chicago and their kitchen barely had anything in it! They wanted to use their grill and barbeque for us and were struggling to cut chicken with something that looked not much sharper than a butter knife. I made the friend drive us to Williams Sonoma, I bought them a pair of kitchen shears and taught them how to use the shears, and then reminded them that this is why they were supposed to register for their wedding.

[KaraOrNot]

Yes.

[Jalapeñomel]

Yes of course!