Ugh. Judgy people vent

[niq]

One of my CWs is ultra judgy about putting kids in child care. As in "if you can't have an SAHP you shouldn't have kids" which I think rules out somewhere around 70% of US households. Look I'm sorry, but msniq & I like our jobs and we're not going to put our lives on hold for years or decades. Maybe he can start paying my mom's health insurance premiums while we both work 80%, leave her with grandma one day a week, and juggle our schedules so one of us is at home all the time. sigh.

Said judgy CW doesn't have kids, just has very strong feelings that you have to stay home with your kids, restraining a child under any circumstances is basically child abuse, and we should abandon fiat currency and use either the gold standard or Bitcoins.

A different CW had to intervene. Yeesh.

[jennlin]

boooooo....

[Deleted]

Apr 10, 2013 15:16:33 GMT -5 niq said:

One of my CWs is ultra judgy about putting kids in child care. As in "if you can't have an SAHP you shouldn't have kids" which I think rules out somewhere around 70% of US households. Look I'm sorry, but msniq & I like our jobs and we're not going to put our lives on hold for years or decades. Maybe he can start paying my mom's health insurance premiums while we both work 80%, leave her with grandma one day a week, and juggle our schedules so one of us is at home all the time. sigh.

Said judgy CW doesn't have kids, just has very strong feelings that you have to stay home with your kids, restraining a child under any circumstances is basically child abuse, and we should abandon fiat currency and use either the gold standard or Bitcoins.

A different CW had to intervene. Yeesh.

^o)  Nothing this person says has value based on that last bit...cray-cray, ignore from now on. *nods emphatically*

[sarack]

i love that people who don't have/want children always have such STRONG opinions other people. fuck off. seriously.

[picksthemusic]

Apr 10, 2013 15:16:33 GMT -5 niq said:

One of my CWs is ultra judgy about putting kids in child care. As in "if you can't have an SAHP you shouldn't have kids" which I think rules out somewhere around 70% of US households. Look I'm sorry, but msniq & I like our jobs and we're not going to put our lives on hold for years or decades. Maybe he can start paying my mom's health insurance premiums while we both work 80%, leave her with grandma one day a week, and juggle our schedules so one of us is at home all the time. sigh.

Said judgy CW doesn't have kids, just has very strong feelings that you have to stay home with your kids, restraining a child under any circumstances is basically child abuse, and we should abandon fiat currency and use either the gold standard or Bitcoins.

A different CW had to intervene. Yeesh.

Your CW sounds like a douchebag.

He should try having a child first before having an opinion about them. But maybe it's a good thing he's not procreating.

[niq]

Apr 10, 2013 16:01:16 GMT -5 @jennuinne said:

Dumbass. If you want to and can stay home, good for you.

But, there are a lot of benefits to having children in childcare, beyond the financial benefits and the fact that it may save your sanity, like the social interactions they get to experience. I bet this guy's mom stayed at home and that is why he turned out so special and thinks that it is the only option.

It gets better, he was homeschooled and wants to homeschool his kids. And not in a "we're homeschooling our kids because we don't believe in evolution way". Oh schools are an awful way to raise children, I missed that one.

I mean, his main point is that parents should get as much direct contact with their parents. Which is a halfway sensible point. But AFAICT he thinks like 90% of humanity doesn't deserves to be parents which is just an extremely arrogant position.

IK: the funny thing is he's an extremely well-adjusted anarcho-capitalist Bitcoin freak. I don't understand how this happened. Like, sometimes I don't get how this guy isn't holed up somewhere in Eastern Montana with his guns and his homeschooling and his opinion that taxes and inflation are theft. Mostly we just troll each other and it's all good fun but the parenting stuff makes me very stabby.

[niq]

Apr 10, 2013 16:48:14 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

I felt this way pre-kids. I still kind of feel this way. It breaks my freaking heart we send Thor to daycare. I am also not as invested in my career as others though. When I see babies at daycare, it makes me really sad.

But I know there's a big difference between ideological thinking versus reality.

I remember kind of making fun of kids who were enrolled in extended stay in elementary school, and I really remember hating daycare (mostly adults but I think the kids too) the few times we had to go to daycare over the summer. I guess I was pretty judgy as a kid .

I get a little sad at the idea of infants being in daycare at 10 weeks. I think my nudging on msniq that she should take full leave has worked and we'll be able to get babyniq to 6 months before he's in DC. I wish we could stay out of work a little longer, but we don't live in Denmark or France .

I went back and checked the paternity leave clicky to see if you wrote anything. Was there a reason mr spun only took 2 weeks off? There was a clicky on this on MMM recently:     pandce.proboards.com/thread/162174/leave

[cdmay]

Apr 10, 2013 16:13:28 GMT -5 niq said:

he thinks like 90% of humanity doesn't deserves to be parents

I mostly agree with this much of the time, but probably closer to 60%.  Though it has nothing to do with daycare and everything to do with them acting like assholes.

[jennlin]

Apr 10, 2013 17:51:20 GMT -5 cdmay said:

Apr 10, 2013 16:13:28 GMT -5 niq said:

he thinks like 90% of humanity doesn't deserves to be parents

I mostly agree with this much of the time, but probably closer to 60%.  Though it has nothing to do with daycare and everything to do with them acting like assholes.

this.

[jennlin]

interesting poll, niq... of the options, i would have to say "he didn't want to take more"..but it really is "we didn't felt it was necessary". bjl/babies sleep so much of the time when they're itty bitty, that we didn't find it to be constructive having him at home, esp with my mom/his mom helping out.

[niq]

Apr 10, 2013 18:17:56 GMT -5 jennlin said:

Apr 10, 2013 17:51:20 GMT -5 cdmay said:

I mostly agree with this much of the time, but probably closer to 60%.  Though it has nothing to do with daycare and everything to do with them acting like assholes.

this.

Being on MMM has made me a lot less judgy about parent stuff. Someone posted some quote about how now that they are a parent, when they see other parents struggling to deal w/ their kid they know that it's hard and almost all the time, and the parents are trying their best. I'm sure there will be cases that's not enough, and I'll feel differently once I'm actually a parent.

[cdmay]

Apr 10, 2013 18:21:32 GMT -5 niq said:

Apr 10, 2013 18:17:56 GMT -5 jennlin said:

this.

Being on MMM has made me a lot less judgy about parent stuff. Someone posted some quote about how now that they are a parent, when they see other parents struggling to deal w/ their kid they know that it's hard and almost all the time, and the parents are trying their best. I'm sure there will be cases that's not enough, and I'll feel differently once I'm actually a parent.

Oh, no, i think this about people totally separate from parenting (though some parenting i see does make me think it, too).  I figure if one can't manage to act civilly around other adults one has no place raising a child.
What is MMM?  I thought it was some version of money matters, but it sounds like the discussions are usually parenting-oriented...

[niq]

Apr 11, 2013 1:42:00 GMT -5 cdmay said:

Apr 10, 2013 18:21:32 GMT -5 niq said:

Being on MMM has made me a lot less judgy about parent stuff. Someone posted some quote about how now that they are a parent, when they see other parents struggling to deal w/ their kid they know that it's hard and almost all the time, and the parents are trying their best. I'm sure there will be cases that's not enough, and I'll feel differently once I'm actually a parent.

Oh, no, i think this about people totally separate from parenting (though some parenting i see does make me think it, too).  I figure if one can't manage to act civilly around other adults one has no place raising a child.
What is MMM?  I thought it was some version of money matters, but it sounds like the discussions are usually parenting-oriented...

Yeah, even though it's a sub-board of Money Matters, they don't talk about money stuff much .