Dear whore aunt,

[lilybug]

I finally wrote my email. Anyone have anything I can add? Am I being too nice? 

A-
I have put off contacting you about this, because the topic makes me feel physically ill. But I need to get it off my chest before I implode, so here goes. [My husband] recently admitted that he and you slept together four years ago when I was pregnant with [son]. This is absolutely disgusting to me, and we are in the process of divorcing because of it. You can't understand the level of hurt and betrayal that I feel. Please do not contact me, and please stop liking pictures of my children.
-N


---------------------------------------------------

Also. A comment that cville made on my last post got me thinking. I really am disappointed in my family's reaction to this whole scandal. I told my dad (she's his sister) a couple of weeks ago, and last night when he and my grandma were over for dinner, they went on and on about how whore aunt quit her job, and they're pet sitting her dog, and she loved Iron Man 3, and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I know he's in a tough spot, because he lives with my grandma (as her caretaker) and I asked him not to tell her about whore aunt. But if MY sister had slept with MY daughter's husband, I'd sure as shit be going out of my way to make her life miserable.

If, hypothetically, your daughter told you that your sister slept with her husband, how would you treat your sister? I need to know what is reasonable, because I plan on approaching my dad about this.

[meggers5]

Can you block her or delete completely, instead of asking her to stop liking pics?
ETA: And I think the letter is really good. I'm sorry hasn't been more understanding of this.

[alzi]

If you asked her to stop liking pictures of your kids, does that mean you are still friends with her? There has to be a way to block her all together.

i am so so sorry you are dealing with this. good for you to contact her.

[cheeseandcrackers]

delete that crazy woman

[eddy]

In regards to the dad thing, I would expect my dad to not cut off contact with his sister. But I would also expect that he didn't go out of his way to be buddy buddy and talk about what movie she likes. So I think staying cordial, being able to be in the same room etc is acceptable. But yes I would expect my dad to be Team Me.

[karmasabiotch]

I think you are way too nice, but you have to do what helps you feel better.

It sounds like your family is toxic. I'm so sorry.

[leeann]

I am sorry you are dealing with this and I hope your email gets your message across to her.

[Deleted]

you're not being too nice.  but i think it wouldn't hurt to be more forceful at the end.  or all over.  now i'm editing it again.  i hate this woman.

A-
I have put off contacting you about this, because the topic makes
me feel physically ill. But I need to get it off my chest and make sure you understand my position going forward. [My husband] recently admitted that you had sex with him four years ago when I was pregnant with [son]. You had sex with your pregnant niece's husband.  This is absolutely disgusting to me as it would be to any normal, functioning person.  [husband] and i are in the process of divorcing because of his actions. You can't understand the level of hurt and betrayal that I feel. Do not ever contact me or my children, ever again, which includes by phone, email, in person, or even by liking pictures of my children on facebook.  I do not want to speak to you and I do not want you to speak to my children.  Nothing you can possibly say will change my mind on this topic.
-N


and then you just never respond again.  and block her.  BLOCK HER.


w/r/t your family's response?  hell, i'd WANT my family to set shit on fire.  and if you're not sure what you want from your dad, i think you can tell him that.  "dad, i don't know what i want here, but it's not having to listen to what whoreaunt thought of ironman 3 when i visit you.  i want to feel protected, defended, and loved."  and then open the floor to him.

[partiallysunny]

Me, personally, I wouldn't tell her it makes me ill. I feel like her knowing that gives her... too much power? Let her know too much about your current emotional state? IDK. Also, don't tell her not to comment/like your pictures. Just delete her as a friend and be done with it.

Cut those out and keep the rest:
[My husband] recently admitted that he and you slept together four years ago when I was pregnant with [son]. This is absolutely disgusting to me, and we are in the process of divorcing because of it. You can't understand the level of hurt and betrayal that I feel. Please do not contact me.

Short and to the point.

[nadasteph]

I don't think there is anything wrong with sitting your dad down and telling him that you don't want to hear polite conversation involving your aunt, and if he wants you to keep it from gma, then he'd best be changing the subject when she bring your aunt up or else you might not react so neutrally in the future. Just flat out tell him how hurt you are by what happened and you don't want to have to think about it or her right now.

[5hole]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

I think unless you give your dad license to tell people why he's treating his sister like garbage, you can't expect him to treat her like garbage in front of others. I hope for your sake, though, that he chews her out privately.

[margarita]

Unfriend and block WA (Whore Aunt) on FB.

I think the letter is great. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[Deleted]

I would completely cut off all contact with her - block, delete, everything. And for the time being, I'd ask that she not be mentioned in conversation when I'm around, too. You need to heal, and hearing about her favorite movies and whatnot is really quite pointless.

I'd expect my father to be Team Me (as someone else stated) and I'd leave the room if she were mentioned. The fact of the matter is that the members of your family have to take a side. It's just how it is. I hope they take yours.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. *hugs*

[Captain Serious]

Yeah, this woman wouldn't ever see another picture of my children unless someone specifically showed her one. We'd not be connected in any way, shape, or form in real life, cyber-space, or any alternate life I've not yet heard of, even if we were the last two people alive following a reptilian/alien invasion.

[Yankees21]

I think with what cville added, it is perfect. I'm really sorry about this, and your dad's reaction. I would have a talk with him too about how you are feeling, because if I were him, I can't imagine keeping in contact with her, at least for a long while. Because who does the shit she's done?!

[BAMFMrsB]

Yu must BLOCK her on FB. That way she is literally gone from the FB internet for you.

Click on your page, then the little star thingy in the top right corner. On the left, you should now see "Blocking". Click that. Add her name. Walla. She is now gone from the realm of FB for you.

And I agree - its a hard spot to put your dad in, but he needs to hear how upset/hurt you are about the whole situation. "Dad. Please don't ever say HER name in my presence again" is a totally fair request.

[litebright]

I like cville's version. And block her on FB ASAP.

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 15:05:44 GMT -5 meggers5 said:

Can you block her or delete completely, instead of asking her to stop liking pics?
ETA: And I think the letter is really good. I'm sorry hasn't been more understanding of this.

Delete her and block her.  Then send the email

[Deleted]

cville's letter is spot-on.

Again, I'm so sorry that you're going through this and am proud of you for standing up for yourself.

With respect to your family, I'm very sorry for their reaction or, rather, lack of reaction, and I'd make it as crystal clear to them as you are making it to your "aunt" that this is not acceptable.

If they want to continue to have a relationship with her, that is their right, I suppose, but they do not get the right to ever expose you to said relationship in the future. Remind them that she gave up that right and they did by proxy the day she spread her legs for her pregnant niece's husband.

[LLL]

1) Delete her
2) I would expect my father to be equally pissed if if not more so than me about the whole situation
3) whore bitch aunt really sucks

[miniroller]

May 6, 2013 15:12:14 GMT -5 @iamsnazzy said:

cville is right on the money. Put that bitch in her place.

ABSOLUTELY!
And (if you nd to get pumped) re-read that email a couple times before you talk to your dad about your desire for him to eliminate aunt from any & all future conversations.

[lilybug]

She was unfriended the instant I found out. Unfortunately, she is still fb friends with my stbxH, who tags himself in pictures of our kids. I keep meaning to ask him to delete her when I see him, but we've been so focused on other shit that I've been forgetting.

cville, I'm using your ending. I knew the end was weak, but I didn't know what else to say.

[Deleted]

or what I would love to say

Aunt,

I have deleted your filty rotten whore self from FB. I would also request that you have NO contact with myself or my son. In other words, you are dead to us. Fuck you, you dirty filty rotten good for nothing whore

[Deleted]

Stop being friends with your stbxh.

[Deleted]

I think if you block her then she can't see the pics even if your shitty STBX is tagged.

Sorry, she sucks. And your dad should back you up.

[lilybug]

May 6, 2013 15:23:38 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Stop being friends with your stbxh.

On fb or in person?

[Deleted]

Both.

[lilybug]

I think I might need my grandma to know. I feel SO shitty telling her, because she's 86 and has had some medical problems lately. But she's sharp as a tack, she's still the matriarch of our family, and I know that she's the key to getting whore aunt excluded from family functions. If we all keep her in the dark, we have to keep up appearances. I'm torn.

[Deleted]

May 6, 2013 15:28:30 GMT -5 lilybug said:

I think I might need my grandma to know. I feel SO shitty telling her, because she's 86 and has had some medical problems lately. But she's sharp as a tack, she's still the matriarch of our family, and I know that she's the key to getting whore aunt excluded from family functions. If we all keep her in the dark, we have to keep up appearances. I'm torn.

Who will take care of your grandma?

[cuddlyevil]

I would tell her, gently but tell her. She needs to know why you won't be at things when whore aunt will be there.

You can block your aunt from seeing pictures and such using the filters on FB. Or you can just flat out delete her and block her.

Cville's letter is perfect.

I am sorry you're dealing with this.