I can get behind the facebook part. But IRL, we have 2 little kids together and are going to have to coparent them for the next 17 years. I'm not going to make my own life miserable by treating him like the dickhole that he is. We aren't overly friendly, but I'm being civil.
you're not being too nice. but i think it wouldn't hurt to be more forceful at the end. or all over. now i'm editing it again. i hate this woman.
A- I have put off contacting you about this, because the topic makes me feel physically ill. But I need to get it off my chest and make sure you understand my position going forward. [My husband] recently admitted that you had sex with him four years ago when I was pregnant with [son]. You had sex with your pregnant niece's husband. This is absolutely disgusting to me as it would be to any normal, functioning person. [husband] and i are in the process of divorcing because of his actions. You can't understand the level of hurt and betrayal that I feel. Do not ever contact me or my children, ever again, which includes by phone, email, in person, or even by liking pictures of my children on facebook. I do not want to speak to you and I do not want you to speak to my children. Nothing you can possibly say will change my mind on this topic. -N
and then you just never respond again. and block her. BLOCK HER.
Definitely make these revisions. Your original email is way too nice. This one is strongly worded but not unreasonable or overly bitchy.
I think I might need my grandma to know. I feel SO shitty telling her, because she's 86 and has had some medical problems lately. But she's sharp as a tack, she's still the matriarch of our family, and I know that she's the key to getting whore aunt excluded from family functions. If we all keep her in the dark, we have to keep up appearances. I'm torn.
Who will take care of your grandma?
My dad is living with her right now, as a caretaker. She has 5 kids who all live nearby, they share the load AFA dr appts, driving her around, etc. We have also discussed the possibility of her moving in with me if she ever needed round-the-clock nursing care.
My dad is living with her right now, as a caretaker. She has 5 kids who all live nearby, they share the load AFA dr appts, driving her around, etc. We have also discussed the possibility of her moving in with me if she ever needed round-the-clock nursing care.
Sorry, for some reason i thought whore aunt was living with grandma. How did your dad react when you told him?
As far as your dad's reaction, it sucks. You are his daughter, not some damn sister.....who is in the WRONG! I'd tell grandma too, you need someone in your corner during this situation. I'm truly sorry this happened to you.
I just wanted to add that I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this - and you should definitely tell your grandmother. Regardless of how old I get and how fragile I may appear, I would want to know when and why someone that I loved was hurting.
My dad is living with her right now, as a caretaker. She has 5 kids who all live nearby, they share the load AFA dr appts, driving her around, etc. We have also discussed the possibility of her moving in with me if she ever needed round-the-clock nursing care.
With this piece of information I'm jumping in to encourage you to tell grandma. If you don't tell her and she moves in with you, you run the risk of WA coming to visit at your house because you won't be able to tell g'ma why she isn't welcome. You also don't want to tell g'ma after she moves in with you because I could see her being furious that she didn't know sooner.
Post by sunshineray on May 6, 2013 15:43:25 GMT -5
I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. Your whore aunt is a whore. I'm glad you're taking the necessary steps to cut her out of your life completely. ((hugs))
Post by amberlyrose on May 6, 2013 15:45:16 GMT -5
Your grandma is the same age as DH's, and she'd probably be the first person someone would tell.
Also, if this ever happened in my family, all of my other aunts would beat the ever living shit out of whore aunt. There would be no question how the family felt. The fact that your dad even mentioned her name in front of you would be upsetting.
I can get behind the facebook part. But IRL, we have 2 little kids together and are going to have to coparent them for the next 17 years. I'm not going to make my own life miserable by treating him like the dickhole that he is. We aren't overly friendly, but I'm being civil.
No one said you had to treat him like a dickhole. I said to stop being his friend, FB or otherwise. Treat him like a coparent and be civil and make him keep up his end of the bargain. At no point did I say to pretend like he doesn't exist or to treat him like a piece of shit.
No one said you had to treat him like a dickhole. I said to stop being his friend, FB or otherwise. Treat him like a coparent and be civil and make him keep up his end of the bargain. At no point did I say to pretend like he doesn't exist or to treat him like a piece of shit.
That is what I'm already doing, so I'm glad we're on the same page.
and your husband? This situation just floors me. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I can't imagine. *hugs*
He's 29. They were 47 and 25 at the time of the fucking.
It really sucks. As someone said in my last thread, I'm seriously surrounded by assholes.
Sorry I've been a one-trick-pony so far, ML. I swear, I'm more interesting than I seem. This just takes up so much of my brain right now.
Damn. I'm sorry. Sometimes there isn't enough time or effort to really understand why someone would do something like this. It's best to cut them out of your life and move on. Wish you the best!
For everyone saying that if you were an 86 year old grandma, you'd want to know... That stands even though it means that you raised a homewrecking whore? She is very close with whore aunt. I think she'd be very upset.
Also, my good aunt (dad's other sister), her 2 daughters, and my dad already know. They can vouch for my story if whore aunt tried to turn things around on me. Which I am suddenly paranoid about. If she can sleep with her pregnant niece's husband, God only knows what kind of evil plot she could come up with if I try to turn her family against her. ughhhh...
For everyone saying that if you were an 86 year old grandma, you'd want to know... That stands even though it means that you raised a homewrecking whore? She is very close with whore aunt. I think she'd be very upset.
Also, my good aunt (dad's other sister), her 2 daughters, and my dad already know. They can vouch for my story if whore aunt tried to turn things around on me. Which I am suddenly paranoid about. If she can sleep with her pregnant niece's husband, God only knows what kind of evil plot she could come up with if I try to turn her family against her. ughhhh...
Yes, I'd want to know. She will be upset because her daughter is a heartless slut. She needs to know why the dynamics of the family are going to change. You shouldn't be subjected to being around that terrible woman.
You don't seem like a one trick pony at all. You seem like a badass handling this terrible situation very calmly and doing so in the best interest of your children. No shame in your game!
Post by shostakovich on May 6, 2013 16:37:24 GMT -5
I don't have any advice to add on to others' in here, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through all of this, lilybug. And I seriously admire your strength (and restraint).
Wholeheartedly agree w/ suesue!! YOU'RE not the one causing damage to your family (stated this in your 1st thread re: this disgusting sicko aunt, but not surprised it needs repeated ) Certainly not trying to be harsh, but repeat this to yourself until you KNOW that in no way are you responsible for this family drama or the inevitable repercussions of WA's disgusting slutty actions. Your Gma needs to know, but you need to make yourself understand that you are completely & absolutely faultless before you share.
Adding another voice to the chorus: I too think you need to tell Grandma. Everyone is going to find out anyway. You're protecting her by telling her on your own terms (in a sensitive way).
And do it sooner than later...cat's out of the bag...
Your being a lot nicer than I would be. However, I admire your ability to be a better person than I would be in this situation. I also think you need to block her after this message is sent, don't give her the opportunity to even see pictures of your children, she doesn't deserve that from you. Fuck her. Also, I would be upset with your dad too. I am so sorry you are going through this.
This is going to come out, one way or another. If I was your gma, I would be so hurt if I found this out from someone besides you. I think as people age, they fear being treated more as a child than an adult. I would be afraid that this would be how your gma would see it. She then could have anger towards you also. I agree with mini, this was done TO you, you have no fault in this situation.
I would buy a billboard and out them both to the whole whoever is driving by. With pictures.
Yes, tell your Grandmother. Her daughter did this, ruined her granddaughters family and her family also.
No way would I stay silent and I would tell my Grandmother in a heartbeat even if it wasn't done to me but my cousin. She has a right to know why the family can't all be together anymore.
Also, your Grandmother does know who her daughter is. She isn't going to be a shocked as you think.