Guys, I think I'm going to do it

[chedominique]

I'm going to give my MIL a title: Mommy [lastname].  I've been avoiding it for almost two years, so I'm finally getting the courage to write it.  (saying it is another story).  I don't know why this is weird.  I've been calling her Mrs. [lastname] for years, especially since she was a teacher at my high school.

She asked me to email her something and I'm trying to stop greeting her with just "Hi."  I'm about to press send.

[Deleted]

Yea I get this. I still just address any emails to my MIL as Hello!

[cinderbella]

Why don't you just call her by her first name? No title necessary. Mommy seems sort of juvenile for an adult to use.

[Deleted]

Yeah..........I just call her by her first name..........

[Deleted]

I just call my MIL her first name in person and emails. I'd die of embarrassment if I referred to her as mom (or especially mommy). The only exception is cards from both my H and I. Then it's mom, but that's the only time we do it.

[Deleted]

If you are comfortable with that go with it. I, for one, would not.

[chedominique]

May 10, 2013 9:45:34 GMT -5 cinderbella said:

Why don't you just call her by her first name? No title necessary. Mommy seems sort of juvenile for an adult to use.

I call her whatever I call my Mom but with her last name - Mommy/Mom/Ma.  And I don't feel comfortable calling her by her first name only.

ETA: I don't say "Mommy" in public, lol.  Just in emails or on the phone.

[eb777888]

I also call her by her first name.

[Deleted]

I call my mil by her first name.

I call her lots of other things behind her back. Mommy is not one of those things.

[Deleted]

whatever works for you.

[Deleted]

Mommy is an odd choice.

My MIL was my H.S. calculus teacher for two years! It took a long time before I stopped stuttering when uttering her first name.

[ElizabethBennet]

Please don't use Mommy. I'd just stick with mom.

[game blouses]

I also call my MIL Hello! She has never told me what to call her (FIL either). They would hate it if I used their first names, and I would feel like a kid if I used Mr. and Mrs.

[winnied]

It took me 8 years to address my FIL period. He has never said "Just call me Joe/Dad/Mr.Dude" so I've just avoided it. After about 6 years I just wanted to see how long I could get away with it. I've still never addressed him in spoken word, but I had to write him an email and wrote "Hi, Dad." It was weird but all the other ILs (as in people who married my ILs) call him "Dad" so I felt like I had to.

[juliagoulia]

Mommy is a bold choice.

[jane6672]

Whatever makes sense for you.

It is not one-size-fits-all when it comes to naming your ILs, people!

[thinkofthesoldiers]

If you are going to go with some version of "mother," I think Mama FirstName sounds better than Mommy, especially for a grown woman. Of course I think it is adorable when Bill Ransic (sp?) calls his MIL Mama DiPandi.

[sawyerthedestroyer]

The last time I called anyone 'mommy' it was my own mother and I was in the middle of a contraction.

I just call my ILs by their first names.

[Bernadine]

I called my xIL's mom and dad and it never felt right. I think I'm going to stick to the first name for J's mom. He's already calling my mom "mama firstname."

[Deleted]

May 10, 2013 9:58:29 GMT -5 @iamsnazzy said:

Maybe call her what your H calls her, with her name tacked into the end?

Ultimately it's whatever works for you, but I would feel silly saying Mommy

I like this idea too. But if you like Mommy Lastname, then go with that. Whatever you are comfortable with.

[macmars45]

I call my MIL & FIL by their first names. I think they'd like it if I called them mom & dad, but those names are saved for my parents so it's a no go.

[rex]

I just call mine by her first name.

I have enough mother problems that I don't need to call someone who isn't even my mother by "mom."

[my4girls]

mommy is an interesting choice, especially going from Mrs lastname jumping right to that.

I just this past week starting calling MIL by her first name in emails. I have always been mr/mrs lastname because they never said otherwise so I felt weird but I finally just said fuck it and started. We'll see if I can do it in person anytime soon though lol

[chedominique]

I sent the email. It still feels weird.

My H calls her Mom and in emails to me she refers herself as Mom [firstname]. In public, I will call her Mom [lastname]. I don't mind using "Mommy" [lastname] in emails (because I've known her for over 10 years), but I'm not crazy to use it in public!

But yeah, I agree with jane6672.  Some people are comfortable with Hi/Hello, Mom, Mrs. [lastname], [firstname] or whatever.  I just didn't know what to use after being married for two years.

ETA: I agree, Mama sounds more natural to say.  I may try that next time.

[papie]

Awkward! lol

But if that is what you feel good with, just go for it. I decided to call my ILs by first name after we got married. I couldn't do the Mr et Mrs anymore. BIL calls them Mr and Mrs, which makes me feel like I'm not being respectful enough by doing first names, lol.

[jane6672]

My ILs thankfully told me "just call us [firstname]"

It was awkward at first.

[nomad100]

May 10, 2013 9:49:05 GMT -5 @lazerus24 said:

I call my mil by her first name.

I call her lots of other things behind her back. Mommy is not one of those things.

This is where I am at. 

MIL refers to herself as "Mom firstname" when leaving me voicemails.

I am sure she would love nothing more than for me to call her "mom" but that just isn't going to happen.

[dizzydee]

Super awkward and I'm from the south*.
R calls his parents momma and daddy. I call them by their first names.





*no I'm not.

[candreco]

Yeah, I've known my MIL for 10+ years and I still wouldn't call her mommy. I don't even call my own mom mommy. I kind of feel like as an adult I can be on a first name basis with her.

[roxysoxy]

I would use mom or mama over mommy, but it's whatever you are most comfortable using.

I'm not sure if I've ever called my in laws by their first name.  I feel so awkward.  Most of the time I simply say hello without using their names.  DH calls my parents by their first names and it doesn't seem weird.  I'm not sure why I feel so strange about doing the same for his parents.