I get that this is awkward. My MIL signs her emails "Mom" and I always just write back "Hello!" or something like that. I just can't do it. And this is totally my fault too, I think, because after our wedding shower 5 years ago I wrote MIL and FIL a thank you card addressed as "Dear Future Mom and Dad." I am still so pissed I did that because I would rather just call them by first name.
And now that my Dad has passed away I will NEVER call my FIL "Dad." Not happening. And over my dead body would I ever call them Mommy or Daddy.
So it's just gonna be "Hello!," "Hey You!" or whatever else works from now on, LOL.
A friend of mine who is in her 40s calls her dad, "daddy" and I always cringe when I hear her say it. I guess whatever floats your boat, but I call my MIL by her first name.
Why don't you just call her by her first name? No title necessary. Mommy seems sort of juvenile for an adult to use.
Whatevs. I call my Mom "Mommy" and my adult daughter calls me "Mommy" too.
I also call my father "Daddy" and I'm old.
I call my parents Mommy and Daddy (to their faces, and when speaking with my adult siblings who also call them that). But I'd be totally weirded out if my husband called my mom "Mommy XYZ".
OP: What does your DH call his mother? Maybe go with a variation of that? It's just...I dont know, "Mommy" is a term I can't imagine someone using for someone else's mother. It's so intimate, if that's the right term. I call my MIL "Mom" or her first name, so it's not like I'm a stickler for formality.
What does your MIL want you to call her? Has she ever said anything?
She hasn't asked me to call her anything. But in her emails direct to me, she signs "Mom [firstname]" or "Mom."
By signing "Mom Firstname", I'd say she's telling you what to call her. Is there a reason you would choose to call her Mommy Firstname over what she's already addressed herself as to you?
She hasn't asked me to call her anything. But in her emails direct to me, she signs "Mom [firstname]" or "Mom."
By signing "Mom Firstname", I'd say she's telling you what to call her. Is there a reason you would choose to call her Mommy Firstname over what she's already addressed herself as to you?
I was addressing her in the email with what I felt comfortable with. I'm not a fan of calling her by her first name (that's why I used her last name instead).
I still haven't tried this in person. Next time, I will try Mom or Mama [lastname] in person and see how it is.
Why didn't I just stick with "hi" knowing that I'm going to see her tomorrow.
Post by litebright on May 10, 2013 11:54:40 GMT -5
I call my MIL Mom Lastname, or occasionally by her first name.
She likes Mom Lastname and signs her cards to us with it. She's a sweet lady, we like each other, and I think it's a nice distinction from my mom but still affectionate.
By signing "Mom Firstname", I'd say she's telling you what to call her. Is there a reason you would choose to call her Mommy Firstname over what she's already addressed herself as to you?
I was addressing her in the email with what I felt comfortable with. I'm not a fan of calling her by her first name (that's why I used her last name instead).
I still haven't tried this in person. Next time, I will try Mom or Mama [lastname] in person and see how it is.
Why didn't I just stick with "hi" knowing that I'm going to see her tomorrow.
No no... you are FINE! The fact that she used mom first means she wants you to call her that. I am willing to bet she is not going to be upset you used a derivation of it.
I'm still totally confused and I read this whole thing. Your H calls her Mom. She refers to herself as Mom X. You will call her Mom X in public. So, why Mommy???
I'm still totally confused and I read this whole thing. Your H calls her Mom. She refers to herself as Mom X. You will call her Mom X in public. So, why Mommy???
::Sigh::
Recap of what everyone uses - H: Mom MIL: Mom [firstname] Me: Mom/Mommy [lastname]. <-----And this was the first time addressing her as such than my usual "Hi" in the email I sent this morning.
I used "Mommy" instead of "Mom" because I sometimes call my own mother "Mommy." I just felt comfortable putting that in the email at the time. The only reason I made a big deal about not saying "Mommy" in public is because people make a big deal about the word being "childish." In public, I call my Mom, Mom or Ma.
Post by MixedBerryJam on May 10, 2013 12:17:03 GMT -5
Maybe it's because I was an older bride, but I must be in the minority. I didn't meet them until after we were married, but my inlaws introduced themselves to me as "We're Mom & Dad." I nipped that sucker in the bud, and replied with, "Oh, Mary & Joe, it's so nice to finally meet you." The only awkward part is when they sign cards, it's "Mom/Mary/Gramma. This was worse before FIL died and the signature was twice as long.
*shrug* I'm not trying to be mean. You volunteered the info, and the vast majority of those of us who responded said the same thing - calling our MIL's Mommy would be weird. But you do what you want, obv.
Maybe it's because I was an older bride, but I must be in the minority. I didn't meet them until after we were married, but my inlaws introduced themselves to me as "We're Mom & Dad." I nipped that sucker in the bud, and replied with, "Oh, Mary & Joe, it's so nice to finally meet you." The only awkward part is when they sign cards, it's "Mom/Mary/Gramma. This was worse before FIL died and the signature was twice as long.
I was 34 when we got married and I'm 38 now and call my MIL mom and my FIL dad. (I call the step in laws by their first names.)
I agree that Mama X sounds more natural than Mommy.
This.
What would be even better is if you just straight up asked her what she would like you to call her. It's worked fine for me with my in laws and grandparents-in-law.
*shrug* I'm not trying to be mean. You volunteered the info, and the vast majority of those of us who responded said the same thing - calling our MIL's Mommy would be weird. But you do what you want, obv.
Oh I know, I didn't think you were! I just wanted to clear up the confusion. Also, I have no problem with everyone's opinions. Some people said that it's normal to call their MIL/FIL by their first name and I think it's weird, but everyone has different opinions. This is my first time addressing her! Give me a break, I'm still trying to get comfortable giving her a name . I will see how she response to the email and go from there.
I do have a problem with someone calling me "childish" because I choose to use that word. (Saying "Mommy" in general)
*shrug* I'm not trying to be mean. You volunteered the info, and the vast majority of those of us who responded said the same thing - calling our MIL's Mommy would be weird. But you do what you want, obv.
Oh I know, I didn't think you were! I just wanted to clear up the confusion. Also, I have no problem with everyone's opinions. Some people said that it's normal to call their MIL/FIL by their first name and I think it's weird, but everyone has different opinions. This is my first time addressing her! Give me a break, I'm still trying to get comfortable giving her a name . I will see how she response to the email and go from there.
I do have a problem with someone calling me "childish" because I choose to use that word. (Saying "Mommy" in general)
FWIW, I think Mama X is cute, and a little less awkward