Post by chedominique on May 10, 2013 9:39:00 GMT -5
I'm going to give my MIL a title: Mommy [lastname]. I've been avoiding it for almost two years, so I'm finally getting the courage to write it. (saying it is another story). I don't know why this is weird. I've been calling her Mrs. [lastname] for years, especially since she was a teacher at my high school.
She asked me to email her something and I'm trying to stop greeting her with just "Hi." I'm about to press send.
I just call my MIL her first name in person and emails. I'd die of embarrassment if I referred to her as mom (or especially mommy). The only exception is cards from both my H and I. Then it's mom, but that's the only time we do it.
Post by game blouses on May 10, 2013 9:51:06 GMT -5
I also call my MIL Hello! She has never told me what to call her (FIL either). They would hate it if I used their first names, and I would feel like a kid if I used Mr. and Mrs.
It took me 8 years to address my FIL period. He has never said "Just call me Joe/Dad/Mr.Dude" so I've just avoided it. After about 6 years I just wanted to see how long I could get away with it. I've still never addressed him in spoken word, but I had to write him an email and wrote "Hi, Dad." It was weird but all the other ILs (as in people who married my ILs) call him "Dad" so I felt like I had to.
Post by thinkofthesoldiers on May 10, 2013 10:00:28 GMT -5
If you are going to go with some version of "mother," I think Mama FirstName sounds better than Mommy, especially for a grown woman. Of course I think it is adorable when Bill Ransic (sp?) calls his MIL Mama DiPandi.
I called my xIL's mom and dad and it never felt right. I think I'm going to stick to the first name for J's mom. He's already calling my mom "mama firstname."
mommy is an interesting choice, especially going from Mrs lastname jumping right to that.
I just this past week starting calling MIL by her first name in emails. I have always been mr/mrs lastname because they never said otherwise so I felt weird but I finally just said fuck it and started. We'll see if I can do it in person anytime soon though lol
Post by chedominique on May 10, 2013 10:08:26 GMT -5
I sent the email. It still feels weird.
My H calls her Mom and in emails to me she refers herself as Mom [firstname]. In public, I will call her Mom [lastname]. I don't mind using "Mommy" [lastname] in emails (because I've known her for over 10 years), but I'm not crazy to use it in public!
But yeah, I agree with jane6672. Some people are comfortable with Hi/Hello, Mom, Mrs. [lastname], [firstname] or whatever. I just didn't know what to use after being married for two years.
ETA: I agree, Mama sounds more natural to say. I may try that next time.
But if that is what you feel good with, just go for it. I decided to call my ILs by first name after we got married. I couldn't do the Mr et Mrs anymore. BIL calls them Mr and Mrs, which makes me feel like I'm not being respectful enough by doing first names, lol.
Yeah, I've known my MIL for 10+ years and I still wouldn't call her mommy. I don't even call my own mom mommy. I kind of feel like as an adult I can be on a first name basis with her.
I would use mom or mama over mommy, but it's whatever you are most comfortable using.
I'm not sure if I've ever called my in laws by their first name. I feel so awkward. Most of the time I simply say hello without using their names. DH calls my parents by their first names and it doesn't seem weird. I'm not sure why I feel so strange about doing the same for his parents.