Even if what he said is true, he went to a bar with his friend and proceeded to flirt and hit on another woman. He then went to his friends home with her where something inappropriate happened. Assuming his friend did in fact give his number out he did so b/c your husband's behavior lead him to believe it was okay. I would assume he has been hanging out with this friend and flirting with women on all these trips. Maybe he felt guilty and stopped, maybe he didn't. He was calculating and even if he is guilty this isn't one of those things that just happened. Saying no and going home at several points would have prevented all of this.
I agree with this. Honestly you can analyze the texts all day, but you may never know what happened. It could have even been that this girl wanted to cuddle with him, went over to him with the intent of doing so, ended up kissing him instead, and then apologized since she got carried away and he was apologizing for leading her on. You have no way to know for sure - but even if no kiss or cuddling happened, your H is engaging in activities that could lead to cheating in the future.
It is hard for me to give advice beyond that. My STBX has always been a flirt and crossed lines at least a couple of times in our marriage because of it. We're divorcing in large part because he is a cheater. I do hate to jump all over a situation without knowing the details, since I know how hard it is to think straight when you have 90 people telling you one thing and your H is telling you another. This is something you'll have to figure out with him, preferably in counseling. And you'll probably need to learn to accept that you're never going to get the whole truth, no matter how much you want it. Or if you are getting the whole truth, you'll never know that for certain. It sucks when trust is broken.
Even if he is telling the truth about what happened that night, why is this girl continuing to text him in the middle of the night asking him to meet up with her at a bar? Either she didn't get the message... or his story doesn't add up.
Get counseling so you will be strong enough to leave him and his lies. I'd probably be getting my ducks in a row. He did this and it is not up to you to fix it. btw I'd be a bitch and call her and tell her he has an std. Get yourself checked.
I think he got a bj, but I wouldn't be looking for lipstick on his peen or underwear.
I've only read the first page, so perhaps this issue has already been addressed:
I think we're belaboring the "cuddle" past here. Let's go to the very beginning of this: WHY AND HOW IN THE HELL did this broad get a married man's number?
And why in the hell did a married man go to some other woman's house after hours???
To just hang out?
Yeah...sure...
Strike one, hanging out with some other woman not his wife at a bar and worse, without said wife's knowledge.
Strike two, going to some other woman who is not his wife's home.
Strike three, assuming nothing happened (which I highly doubt), his failure to immediately tell you vs getting found out, his lying then, his lying now, and the fact that he didn't block her number/tell her not to contact him again and I'm guessing he has yet to do so, if he doesn't get into counseling STAT and start telling the whole truth and nothing but, I'm sorry, I don't have a lot of hope for the future of this relationship.
Post by Saint Monica on Jun 5, 2013 6:57:49 GMT -5
Listen. I could probably deal with cheating. What I couldn't deal with is someone telling me such schitty assed lies and expecting me to be stupid enough to believe it. Fuck him (but not literally). I'm sorry.
I agree with everyone. My marriage is ending right now because of my husband cheating. He has moved in with another woman and still insists he has only kissed her. He is full of shit and I think your H is too. I'm sorry. You don't have to make any choices now, go to counseling, figure out what is best for you. Don't call the other woman, there is no point. Good luck!