Post by redheadbaker on Jun 4, 2013 20:06:58 GMT -5
For some reason, it feels AW-ish to make a post about it. I'm normally a very private person. But talking about it seems to help, at least to get past the "is this just a nightmare" phase.
Around 1:30 a.m. Sunday morning, I woke up to a feeling of gushing fluid. My side of the bed was soaked. There was some brown blood. I rushed to the hospital by myself, since my fiance had to stay home with DS.
A nurse started an u/s, which showed the baby's heart beating. A doctor finished the u/s and said there was next to no fluid around the baby. She took swabs for testing. I called my parents to go stay with DS, so FI could be with me at the hospital.
Testing confirmed it was amniotic fluid. I was only 19 weeks along, so even if I was put on bedrest, the baby needed amniotic fluid to help the lungs develop, and there was none. There was no chance for survival.
They said we could induce labor, or they could do a D&E. Since my cervix was closed and I wasn't contracting, we opted for the D&E. My blood pressure crashed under anesthesia, and I lost an excessive amount of blood, and needed 2 transfusions. I had to spend the night in the ICU.
I'm home now, and in no physical pain. But we are devastated. The hospital gave us a memory box, which contained the baby's footprints. We still don't know if it was a boy or a girl -- my anatomy scan was scheduled for next Friday. We opted for genetic testing to see if anything was wrong with the baby, and that will tell the baby's sex. Then we can give the baby a name, and we're looking into planting a memorial tree.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't feel bad talking about it (or not) here at whatever level helps you with processing and ultimately healing from this devastation.