No Wiper (poop-related)

[Glitter Tits]

Does anyone know what I mean when I say a no-wiper poop? I just posted that term on ML and I think that everyone is ignoring me. Some poster had a poop quote about relationships in her siggy. I asked her what sort of relationship she would compare a no-wiper to and she won't respond.

[humpty]

Clean break!

[Deleted]

I do know that I love it when you are changing a diaper and get a no-wiper.

[Glitter Tits]

May 12, 2012 20:48:58 GMT -5 humpty said:

Clean break!

Oh, is this the proper term? I like that.

[Glitter Tits]

May 12, 2012 20:51:09 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

I do know that I love it when you are changing a diaper and get a no-wiper.

That never happens.

[humpty]

We can make it official if you'd like. I made it up.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 20:52:36 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

May 12, 2012 20:51:09 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

I do know that I love it when you are changing a diaper and get a no-wiper.

That never happens.

No, it doesn't happen until they get off formula. But eventually their poop get hard enough to have a no-wiper. It's the best.

[Glitter Tits]

Oh dear lord. I don't want the poop to resemble real person poop. It's going to be so much grosser changing her then. I've finally gotten to the point where I don't dry-heave when it's really smelly.

Clean Break it is!

[humpty]

I found it is easier when they are more solid. The earlier stages were horrible.

[Llama in Mules]

How can it be a no wiper in a diaper? It still smushes against the tushie.

[Glitter Tits]

May 12, 2012 21:06:56 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

How can it be a no wiper in a diaper? It still smushes against the tushie.

See, this is exactly what confused me. I guess we will find out when we have a toddler that shits their pants.

[humpty]

If you catch them right afterwards and they are standing, it is possible. You would probably want to do a courtesy wipe though.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 21:14:03 GMT -5 humpty said:

If you catch them right afterwards and they are standing, it is possible. You would probably want to do a courtesy wipe though.

Exactly, but you don't have to get down and dirty. Minimal poop exposure.

[Glitter Tits]

LMAO at "courtesy wipe".

[Deleted]

Crystal, just trust me when I say that dealing with a solid turd is way better than dealing with baby poop. Especially when it's the solid/formula/bm mix.

[kmw325i]

I love this.

I'm a courtesy-wiper, though. Mostly because my kid is sneaky. He's got an extra deep upper-buttcrack dimple, and even if you THINK nothing is stuck, you have to check, so you might as well wipe anyway.

[Llama in Mules]

Li had a shit wedge stuck in her butt this morning, it reminded me of the individually wrapped wedge of Laughing Cow cheese.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 21:42:48 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

Li had a shit wedge stuck in her butt this morning, it reminded me of the individually wrapped wedge of Laughing Cow cheese.

And thanks to that, I will never be able to eat laughing cow again. Ever.

[Llama in Mules]

May 12, 2012 21:43:57 GMT -5 @amishlovah said:

May 12, 2012 21:42:48 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

Li had a shit wedge stuck in her butt this morning, it reminded me of the individually wrapped wedge of Laughing Cow cheese.

And thanks to that, I will never be able to eat laughing cow again. Ever.

You're welcome.

[Glitter Tits]

Does anyone else think that Laughing Cow tastes like Velveeta? I much prefer those Baby Bel cheese wheels.

[dearprudence]

I far prefer the solid poop to the bm poop in terms of cleanup.

I do not prefer it in terms of smell.

[kmw325i]

May 12, 2012 21:47:22 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

Does anyone else think that Laughing Cow tastes like Velveeta? I much prefer those Baby Bel cheese wheels.

I never thought about Laughing Cow tasting like Velveeta, but now that you mention it....

My preference has more to do with the red wax coating on the Babybel. It's much more fun to play with than a little foil triangle. It also makes for a great prop for my Lisa Rinna impression.

[humpty]

My kid has ruined most forms of mustard for me.

[EloiseWeenie]

May 12, 2012 21:50:39 GMT -5 kmw325i said:

May 12, 2012 21:47:22 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

Does anyone else think that Laughing Cow tastes like Velveeta? I much prefer those Baby Bel cheese wheels.

I never thought about Laughing Cow tasting like Velveeta, but now that you mention it....

My preference has more to do with the red wax coating on the Babybel. It's much more fun to play with than a little foil triangle. It also makes for a great prop for my Lisa Rinna impression.

LOL. Yes, Laughing Cow is nasty like Velveeta. Ick, it's like a creamy "cheese" with no cream! That shit is fake!

[Glitter Tits]

May 12, 2012 21:50:39 GMT -5 kmw325i said:

May 12, 2012 21:47:22 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

Does anyone else think that Laughing Cow tastes like Velveeta? I much prefer those Baby Bel cheese wheels.

I never thought about Laughing Cow tasting like Velveeta, but now that you mention it....

My preference has more to do with the red wax coating on the Babybel. It's much more fun to play with than a little foil triangle. It also makes for a great prop for my Lisa Rinna impression.

I love playing with the wax coating. I don't know who Lisa Rinna is, but I am assuming that it's someone with comically large lips.

[statlerwaldorf]

May 12, 2012 21:06:56 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

How can it be a no wiper in a diaper? It still smushes against the tushie.

I never had a no-wiper poop until DD was potty trained.

[kmw325i]

Her lips are the shit nightmares are made of.

[humpty]

She always scared me when she was on Days of our Lives.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2012 21:48:13 GMT -5 dearprudence said:

I far prefer the solid poop to the bm poop in terms of cleanup.

I do not prefer it in terms of smell.

Completely unrelated but how do I get my daughter to stop replying "I'M NOT SMALL!" when I quote your siggie at her out of frustration?

[dearprudence]

May 12, 2012 22:21:26 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

May 12, 2012 21:48:13 GMT -5 dearprudence said:

I far prefer the solid poop to the bm poop in terms of cleanup.

I do not prefer it in terms of smell.

Completely unrelated but how do I get my daughter to stop replying "I'M NOT SMALL!" when I quote your siggie at her out of frustration?

I believe the appropriate response to that is sticking out your tongue and blowing a raspberry.