Post by BieberMyBalls on Jun 27, 2013 23:43:45 GMT -5
I have body issues, hell, most of us do. I've been the brunt of many jokes all of my life about my weight, and its always been a sore spot. H knows that I have low self esteem, which is why I'm having a hard time laughing it off. Tonight, we were getting ready to watch a movie, and he was pinching my side. I laughed and asked him to stop pinching my fat. He says, "If I wanted to squeeze fat, I'd squeeze your belly."
I think it was a case of not thinking before he spoke, and I know he feels bad, but man..that's a serious blow to the self esteem. He's asleep, and I'm sitting here feeling gross. I hate that I don't have enough confidence to not give a shit.
Post by BieberMyBalls on Jun 28, 2013 0:12:09 GMT -5
The flattery is much appreciated, thanks lol. I'm sure he'll feel like an ass tomorrow, and I'll get over it. If not, I'll make him some pretty cement shoes and take him swimming.
OK. I'm lying. It does. But moreso because of who you are.
Does your H see you like we do?
Genuine question.
You're sweet nic, thanks. That really me smile. I'm sure he does. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt me, he just needs to stop and think before speaking sometimes.
You're sweet nic, thanks. That really me smile. I'm sure he does. I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt me, he just needs to stop and think before speaking sometimes.
Post by BieberMyBalls on Jun 28, 2013 9:37:28 GMT -5
He apologized this morning when he woke up, so I suppose I'll let him live. I told him that I get that sometimes we all say dumb shit and don't think before we speak, but that this wasn't a compliment done horribly wrong, it was a blatant insult, and that saying those kinds of things makes being comfortable with him difficult. He's usually very good at helping me feel ok about myself, so I'm cutting him some slack this time. Next time? Shot to the balls.
Am I losing my mind? Is this seriously the kind of thing that would be okay to say to someone who isn't sensitive about his/her weight?
No, it's not. But if it is a one-off, what are you going to do? All you can really do is call him out on it, let him know that it's not cool, and keep going on with your day. If it fits into a larger pattern of put downs and other derogative behavior, then we have something to discuss.
Why have you been the brunt of jokes all your life? I know it is hard, but if people poke fun of you, you need to tell them that it hurts your feelings. I know it is probably easier to "laugh with them", but you will never get over your body image issues if the people around you constantly put you down. You are beautiful. No one should make you feel less then that. You will be amazed at how good it feels to tell someone to stop making fun of you.
Why have you been the brunt of jokes all your life? I know it is hard, but if people poke fun of you, you need to tell them that it hurts your feelings. I know it is probably easier to "laugh with them", but you will never get over your body image issues if the people around you constantly put you down. You are beautiful. No one should make you feel less then that. You will be amazed at how good it feels to tell someone to stop making fun of you.
I thought this was odd, too. Who are all these people making these jokes, and what in their lives leads them to believe that this is appropriate behavior?
Am I losing my mind? Is this seriously the kind of thing that would be okay to say to someone who isn't sensitive about his/her weight?
No, it's not. But if it is a one-off, what are you going to do? All you can really do is call him out on it, let him know that it's not cool, and keep going on with your day. If it fits into a larger pattern of put downs and other derogative behavior, then we have something to discuss.
Yeah, there's a big difference between following that comment up with 'oh my gosh, that's not what I meant, sorry, I'm an idiot' and 'yeah, maybe you should get your ass to the gym'.
Post by cheeseandcrackers on Jun 28, 2013 10:22:02 GMT -5
this one time i told my H to suck in his gut for a picture.. i still don't hear the end of it from him... lol sorry he made you feel bad bieber, next time just smack him in the balls
Why have you been the brunt of jokes all your life? I know it is hard, but if people poke fun of you, you need to tell them that it hurts your feelings. I know it is probably easier to "laugh with them", but you will never get over your body image issues if the people around you constantly put you down. You are beautiful. No one should make you feel less then that. You will be amazed at how good it feels to tell someone to stop making fun of you.
Because I've always been chubby, I guess? Kids were cruel all through school, and perfect strangers would target me and call me things like "rhino." Unfortunately it hasn't stopped there, and even my own grandfather cracked jokes at my expense. Fortunately, however, as an adult I have the courage not to put up with that shit, and people like him have no place in my life. I don't draw attention to the fact that I have these insecurities, and generally its a non-issue, it just stung last night because he knows its taken a lot to reach the level of comfort I have with him, and like it or not those old wounds still hurt sometimes.