Post by TrudyCampbell on Jul 7, 2013 22:44:27 GMT -5
I haven't read the other responses but I ABSOLUTELY want my child(ren) to go away to school. Even if they went to a local school I'd want them to live at the dorms and be as independent as possible. It was an invaluable experience.
Post by pixelpassion on Jul 7, 2013 22:57:45 GMT -5
I'd want my (hypothetical) children to go to a college where they are valued, so I'd be pretty upset if I was the parent in this situation.
I hated my first year of college. The first time I saw the campus was when I was dropped off and everything was totally unknown. After getting way more involved in extra curricular activities after the first year (marching band, service sorority, etc.) I LOVED college. It's such a shame because being in a sport would give this kid a social group from the get go
Post by justkeepswimming on Jul 7, 2013 23:06:18 GMT -5
I HATED orientation! My parents wouldn't let that get in my way. I ended up loving and thriving in college. Orientation can be a horrible representation of what college will really be like. I am firmly on team "suck it up, be brave, and try it for a year".
Post by Shreddingbetty on Jul 7, 2013 23:30:43 GMT -5
That wouldn't fly in our house. DH's niece (whom we have raised for the past 4 years) will be going to college 3 hours away. She will not be able to come home on the weekends because she won't have a car. She also has been dying to get the hell put of here.....we told her if she didn't want to go to college she would still have to move out and get a job and support herself (her college is paid for by the grand parents).
I think everyone needs to go away to college (if at all possible) to become more independent and not be able to fall back on your parents for every little thing
I suppose I technically did a gap year. I am from the Netherlands and came to the US to do a year of college before I would go back and go to university there. I was only 17 and my parent figured it would be a good experience . Except for I never left ( that wasn't their plan).
I can't imagine not wanting to go away to college. But then again I have been talking about getting the hell out of my house since I was 11. I didn't have a bad childhood or anything, I was just ready to go somewhere else.
And to be clear - I'm not anti-CC. I went to one and so did my sister. I just never got to have a real college experience and I wish I had. My sister is transferring to UCLA, and I am so happy for her. She is going to live on campus and wouldn't have gotten in straight from HS, so it worked out really well for her. She also did a semester abroad through the CC at Oxford - so her experience was completely different than mine.
I'm glad you clarified. I don't know how long I would have tried to google what campuses Univ. of GA had that might be abbreviated NDA somehow. :-#
I did the CC thing. DH stayed home and went to college while he lived at home. Saved a bundle for his mom and himself but in some respects he missed out, I think. I know I missed out on a lot. If my kid wanted to forego a scholarship to hang out with high school buddies in community college, I'd be furious and dragging her back with the caveat that she give it an honest effort for one year and then we'd revisit the issue. But if she wanted to go to CC and hang out with her friends instead then she'd better be attending full-time and getting As and maybe the occasional B but if the GPA falls below an A-/B+ the ride is no longer free because obviously she's attending to have fun with her friends rather than learn. So, at that point she'd better be working at least part-time to alleviate her "boredom."
Yes, I think all kids should experience it. I wanted my SS to, and thankfully he was looking forward to the day he could. He did a weekend at the college when he was a Jr. in HS and loved it and knew he wanted to go there. Thankfully he was accepted at his dream school and is loving every minute of it.
I was able to go way to school and loved it.
DH was not able to go away. He had to live at home and commute to a large university in his town. He loved school but is disappointed he missed out on a lot because he didn't live there. He didn't want that for his son.
I don't care if they go to a scholarship offering ivy league school, a state school, the community college, a tech school, or if they don't go to school at all. You turn 18, you have choices. If one of those choices is NOT school, you need to have a job and a place to live 3 months post graduation.
If my kid(s) turn down a great school to hang with loser friends, sorry but that's not happening on my dime. You only get to make that choice if you are funding loser school and ALL of your bills.
I'd like her to go away to school, it's a good experience. I feel like I adapted to college and post college life from not having my parents near as a crutch.
I received two scholarships (one music, one academic) to amazing schools far, far away from my family and chose to stay home and live at home through school because I was too scared to move away and was head over heels over some asshole who ruined my entire college experience. Nobody throat checked me over that decision and I ended up with mega student loans and working two jobs to cover my tuition and books. I regret not sowing my wild oats when I had the chance. I would like to instill much more independence in my children to go and do and grow without mama and daddy right there to hold their hands.
I wanted my kids to go away to college. Even if they'd chosen a college in "town" I would have had them live on campus. I think it's a great transition period from living at home to being on your own. I commuted my first 2 years, it was ok but it wasn't like being in college - it was like high school. I wanted a more broadening experience for my kids. I don't regret it, it was the right choice for us, both kids & parents.
I feel the same as pretty much everyone else. Choose whatever college you want/suits your career goals, but live on campus/in an apartment if it's in our hometown.
As far as transferring. With our kids we saw that their friends who decided to transfer, before the winter break and already had the plans in motion, regretted doing so. They would complete the year where they were and then the transfer was through and they left but they all regretted it. YOu have to make them stick it out the first year and after that year if they still don't like it, the transfer can occur.
Learning to deal with adversity is something they need their whole life. You can just quit and run, that doesn't bode well for the rest of life.
I wouldn't be mad, but would highly encourage it. My oldest stayed behind for cc because of her boyfriend. They have since broken up and she was miserable the entire year. She decided to transfer now and leaves next month.
I didn't have the "dorm life" experience and feel like it's something I missed out on. I'm glad she's changed her mind, but also glad she learned to put herself first from now on.
Post by dragonfly08 on Jul 8, 2013 10:21:06 GMT -5
I'd like them to experience living outside of the home, but that doesn't mean they have to go far away. DH attended college half an hour from home and still lived on campus in the beginning, to know what that was like (he moved home for the last few years to start saving money for after graduation, but since he was completing both a bachelors and masters at the same time it was really just a place to sleep because he was rarely home!).
I was horribly homesick after the first quarter at college; I actually requested applications from several schools closer to home and was getting ready to submit them so I could transfer the next year! My parents made me stick it out, and although I did change schools after sophomore year it wasn't so I could go home, it was to get a better education in the major I'd switched to, and I've always been glad that mom and dad didn't let me quit. I learned and grew up A LOT living away from home.
The dream school orientation thing I wouldn't put up with. You go to a school for a semester AT LEAST, ideally a year before deciding you want to transfer. Not making friends orientation weekend is a bullshit excuse.
I don't know about the sports team thing. I WANT them to go to college but I know it isn't for everyone. I would probably stress the importance of education and encourage them to a) weigh all details and b) go to community college while on the sports team, even if it's 1 class a semester, just to keep options open.
Yes, I would want them to suck it up and go. They will make friends, get to know people, and settle in. I have actually heard that it's a good idea not to come home until fall break (mid-Oct) as a college freshman, to give you time to get settled and make friends.
I went to college about two hours from home and it was SO good for me to be on my own and experience life. I stayed close to my family and came home most breaks and every summer, but I always had a job. My best friend lived at home for college and I also had a boyfriend at home during my junior and senior year, so that helped I also knew I wanted to eventually move back to my hometown, since I went to college in a much smaller town than where I grew up.
I have a friend whose parents told her they would only pay for her school if she went out of state. She still came home after the first weekend (moved in on Thurs, drove home with all of her stuff on Sun). She never did end up getting a four year degree, I believe she has her Associates.
There are four universities in Montreal. Therefore I expect that my kids will not be going away. If they do, I'll be happy. If they don't, I'll be happy too. As long as they actually GO to college that is.
Yes, but there isn't really a legit community college closer than an hour away, so if he is seeking higher education, he will have to live away. And I would want him to.
I expect they'll both go away. Although, if they want to go to the school where H works, which is free for them, then I'd be thrilled (assuming they could get in).
If my kid was in your hypothetical, I'd insist she go at least a semester. Kids can make dumb decisions based on fears they don't know they will get over. So I'd make her go and see whether it took.
I would happily support her if, after a semester, she wanted to transfer somewhere else that was equally good, academically. If she wanted to stop college altogether and work, that would be fine, too. But if she'd been A students, I don't think I would pay for her to go to a community college. To me that would be a cop out - her being lazy or scared, so she'd have to figure out how to do that on her own.