Post by verycontrary247 on Jul 9, 2013 11:23:56 GMT -5
My BFF has been dating a guy for 2-3 months and they are talking about moving in together in the next few months once their current leases are up. I'm a little concerned its too soon but haven't said anything. I need some success or horror stories to share!
I moved in with my EX after 3 years and it was a disaster. I moved in with my H (then BF) after 3 months, although he had already been living at my place for a month by then and it was awesome.
We moved in 2 weeks after we met bc long story short, her crazy mom kicked her out after a stupid fight. We've been together 8 happy years now, so we're a success story.
DH and I were long distance and then moved in together after a few months of being in the same city. We probably rushed it at the time but it worked out great in the end (obviously). We had both lived with exes before and so we had some expectations going into it about how we wanted to day to day to go.
I would say, "Hey BFF, I'm a little concerned that you guys might be moving in together a bit soon, but I just want whats best for you and now I'm going to mind my own business."
Because they are going to do whatever the fuck they want to do anyway.
Post by walterismydog on Jul 9, 2013 11:28:45 GMT -5
My XH and I moved in together the day after we met. It worked out pretty well for 5.5 years. My XBF and I moved in together after less than a year. It also worked out fine. Our early move-ins had nothing to do with us breaking up.
Post by walterismydog on Jul 9, 2013 11:29:43 GMT -5
Can I ask why you are concerned that it is "too soon"? Some people just know, and also age may have a lot to do with it. If she were, say, 18 I would probably be a lot more concerned than if she were in her 30s.
I gradually moved in to my xh's apartment over our first 2-3 months of dating. I'd spend one night, then a weekend, and before I knew it, most of my clothes were there and I was sleeping there every night. I still had my dorm room as backup until the summer, though.
I wouldn't be concerned about the timeline unless I had other legitimate concerns about the relationship.
This is how I feel.
IMO, if she is spending all her time at his place (or vice versa) and they are happy and doing well, then I see no reason why they shouldn't live together.
But I may just be projecting my current situation with N, because I am always at his house and half my things are there anyway and we are super-dee-duper happy and I foresee us moving in together sooner rather than later.
Post by EmilieMadison on Jul 9, 2013 11:37:30 GMT -5
Too soon for her, or for you? Because even if it's not a good idea, why is your business? FWIW, DH and I moved in together after about 6 weeks. Oh noes!
i think this a case by case situation, not a hard, fast rule.
Yep. Ex-BF talked about moving in at 2 months. By 3-3.5 months I started noticing all of the things that were wrong in the relationship that I didn't see before because it was so new and exciting. I broke up with him just shy of 4 months.
Post by sunshineluv on Jul 9, 2013 11:39:24 GMT -5
For me it wasn't about when we moved in, it was about us being on the same page. I moved in with XBF after maybe three months. We were happy and perfect, in my mind, I thought moving in was another commitment and step towards marriage. In his mind, we got along well, so yea, why not live together?
Fast forward a year or so and I was heart broken and devastated. We had a marriage talk and he didn't see us together forever.
In hindsight, I wish I would have had those conversations a bit sooner, but I had my head in the clouds. I may or may not have still moved in with him, but that was a hard lesson to learn, about assuming. . . .
He may as well have lived there after a month but it wasn't "official" till about 2 months. We were married 14 months after our first date and have been together over 9 years.