Post by awkwardpenguin on Jul 15, 2013 18:42:25 GMT -5
You really need to find out how much daycare costs. My sister pays $900/month in a low cost of loving area. Here (high cost of living) it is $1400-$1800/month.
I would wait on TTC until you've figured out your budget. It will take some serious sacrifices to afford a baby and you are already living way beyond your means.
Hi! I would make it a goal to try to pay off all cards by the time you have a baby, so plan for a nine-month debt payoff. If you can cut that $1,800/month on shopping and eating out to $400/month, you could pay off all CCs in 14 months with just that $1,400/month payment. So if you can just find a couple hundred other dollars from your budget or take on some tutoring, you should be able to cut a few months off that and be CC debt free in under a year. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover is pretty inspiring for debt payoff.
But I WANT a baby NOW!!Stomps feet. Wanting something is not sufficient reason to go ahead and do it/buy it etc.
The stress of your current financial situation, added to the stress of a new baby (as well as the additional financial stress they bring) is enough to end many a marriage. Oh, yes, it can happen to you . (Do you know anyone who divorced who thought it would happen to them?)
It is time to grow up. Face reality and deal with it appropriately. If you earn 5000 you cannot spend 5001. You need to learn to live with limits - your lifestyle, buying what ever you want, doing what ever you want when you want. No, you do not "deserve" it , unless you can pay for it in full without causing problems in other areas of your budget. You do not have to like it, - you just have to do it.
I hope you do not loose your job.
Where ever did you get the entitlement attitude you have?
I appreciate all the insights. I think I've made a great plan. We're going to start putting a minimum of $1600/month towards the debt, more if the incidentals budget for the month is less, or the earning for the month is more. H and I both are looking into picking up extra income through tutoring and other differentials through our school.
I am going to be looking for some 0% interest rate cards to transfer balances too. If I'm successful, we'll be debt free in a year or less, depending on how much extra we can make, picking up side jobs.
As far as TTC goes: I've heard you, but I really think we can swing this. IF I get pregnant tomorrow (which, LOL, can't--not Oing, and probably will be away from H during FW this month anyway so it'll probably be another month AT LEAST).. I have 9 months. By which time, our debt will have been cut down SIGNIFICANTLY. We would be able to slow (not halt!) our progress on the debt once the baby is here in order to pay for this hypothetical child that may or may not be conceived in the next few months.
Anyhow, advice related to any part of my finances OTHER THAN THE TTC stuff is still totally welcome, but more lectures on TTC-related finances are basically going to fall on deaf ears.
Right. But what you seem to not get is that you haven't implemented this new budget. You don't know if you can live with it. You've been living so far outside your means for so long that one month, two months, 9 months, isn't going to change it. And so then you give birth and go back to it? Because the first months and years and forever with a kid are trying and if you don't have practice living within your means, you'll slip back into your bad habits.
You don't have the money now to TTC and have a kid. Period.
You need to implement the new budget and practice living on it before you TTC. You need more than the two or less weeks until you O.
Thanks for the update, but I'm still curious? How old are you guys? Any particular reason for wanting to TTC right now?
Ages: 27 (me), 28 (him). We are not old. I am not AMA.
As far as reasons for now vs. later have more to do with the number of children we want, the spacing we would like, and trying to be relatively young parents.
H and I have talked at length at this and we are on the same page. I know many of you will disagree and that's okay.
Obviously your choice of when to TTC is yours and your husband's and none of us are going to sway you. You don't even have to respond to my post, but I would recommend doing some thinking about how the "I want this now" attitude toward money has worked for you thus far. That, and whether waiting just 6 months so you'd have all your CC's paid off and have a small baby fund in place would actually change the number of children you could have or the spacing you would need between them. I don't think most people on this board are telling you to wait 5 years or anything.
Well, I win the money battle. (no debt, paid off mortgage, 2 kids, well funded retirement, 2 cars bought with cash all on a modest income) You win the spelling. You need to learn how to add and subtract and stop living in la-la land.
You want several kids, yet you cannot afford one at this point. Heck, you are not managing to manage to support the two of you without going into debt.
Having a plan and implementing it are two different things.
I hope I am wrong about you, but so far, your responses do not lend to a good outcome. Wish you luck.
What exactly would be the harm in waiting even just six months to see if you can actually stick to your budget before you start trying to have a baby? You are being really naive if you think someone who has as much trouble with delaying gratification as you seem to is going to be able to sit on her hands and not spend money while pregnant. You are going to want ALL THE THINGS for the baby and the nursery, etc. What if you end up on bed rest and aren't drawing a salary at all? TTC with $2K emergency fund, about to die cars, and a debt load of roughly three times your YEARLY take home pay is insanity.
I know you don't want to hear about TTC, but you really need to look at your finances and plan for it. Think about that baby as a 2k month payment. Would you go buy a car with a payment of 2k a month? No you wouldn't. That would be foolish in your financial state. Making that "bill" of 2k doesn't seem better if it's a human.
You need to be TTC'ing in your brain if you should TTC. You want the baby now but those poor choices got you to this place. I'm in the same boat as you- 20k in credit card debt, 100k in students loans and make nearly triple what you guys do. I'm older than you, want 4 kids, at least 2 beach vacations a year and a Mercedes. I know I can't have it all. But I have myself 14 months to pay it off. Once my debt is paid off, I will feel better knowing that I wouldn't have to work if I didn't want to. If you just wait a year and pay off your debt, you'll feel more confident in having children.
Thanks for the update, but I'm still curious? How old are you guys? Any particular reason for wanting to TTC right now?
Ages: 27 (me), 28 (him). We are not old. I am not AMA.
As far as reasons for now vs. later have more to do with the number of children we want, the spacing we would like, and trying to be relatively young parents.
H and I have talked at length at this and we are on the same page. I know many of you will disagree and that's okay.
This may fall on deaf ears, but here goes:
It sounds like you and your husband have a serious issue with delayed gratification. Your "I want it all, RIGHT NOW" attitude is what got you into over 20K of consumer debt. If you can't set aside TTC for even six months while you attempt a debt snowball (which is going to be hard enough given your spending habits), I'm afraid you're in for a world of hurt. Also, you're 27 and 28, not 37 and 38.
Your financial situation is terrifying to me. TERRIFYING. Why not let TTC be your goal/reward once you've made some serious progress on the debt? If you and your husband went snowball crazy - barebones, rice and beans budget, nights jobs, sell crap, etc. - you could knock out the credit cards in six months. Another six months of living like that and you could have a REAL emergency fund and baby savings.
And then you could have a baby and be able to do fun things like buy baby clothesnot on credit, take family vacations, put the kid in swimming lessons, and save for college. Little things like that.
I do financial planning for the elderly and there's nothing more heartbreaking than a couple in their 80s who still has a mortgage, credit card debt, car notes, etc. Why? Because their finances are a disaster after a lifetime of poor choices and money management. I'm afraid that's you in 50-60 years unless you make different decisions. It's not too late, but you really need to do some soul-searching...
Ok, she is taking advice and making a plan. She has even politely answered some of the TTC questions. But leave her alone now on the TTC front. It seems like she is making a good plan and will eliminate the debt quickly now that she knows what she needs to do. Having a family is important to her...and as MM as I am I still think I would feel the same as her about TTC.
bricco, good luck on the debt payoff (you can do this!!) and the TTC.
Post by LoveTrains on Jul 15, 2013 20:06:03 GMT -5
That is great that you are doing some research into daycare and baby costs.
If you are going to go ahead with TTC, my suggestion is to make up a budget NOW that will be your "postbaby budget". Rather than spending the $600/month on daycare and the $500/month on diapers/formula/whatever (I don't have babies so I don't know!), take that $1100/month and put it right towards your debt payoff.
Then, when the baby comes, you will already be living with your post baby budget and will have paid down even MORE debt.
I just want to point out that you will likely need to replace one, if not both, of your cars in the next few years. Please just make sure take everything into consideration regarding your financial picture.
You are young, have nothing in savings or retirement. You can change it around but it will require dedication and in your earlier post you says you were going to take a modest approach because you were afraid you wouldn't stick to it if you went too extreme.
I think you have a really good attitude. It is very commendable that you continued to read and respond to the TTC comments, even though you don't like or agree with them. Sometimes the advice we need to hear the most is the hardest to hear.
I'm glad you and your husband are on the same page and that you have a plan. I'd suggest setting up weekly meetings (especially at first) to sit down together and go over your spending for the week, any progress you have made, etc.
Use this board as well. Once you have a budget, post it here if you are comfortable. There will be good advice, even if you don't implement all of it!
I don't want to pile on about TTC, but I do want to add something from my experience that you may have not considered.
I have what most people consider to be good insurance, and when I got PG last year, I was shocked at how much we spent on copays, ultrasounds, labs, a special RX prenatal, etc. Easily more than $300/month. So if you think there is a chance that you may have a difficult pregnancy or require even a few extra tests or visits, you should definitely build that into your budget during your debt payoff.
I think you have a really good attitude. It is very commendable that you continued to read and respond to the TTC comments, even though you don't like or agree with them. Sometimes the advice we need to hear the most is the hardest to hear. I'm glad you and your husband are on the same page and that you have a plan. I'd suggest setting up weekly meetings (especially at first) to sit down together and go over your spending for the week, any progress you have made, etc.
Use this board as well. Once you have a budget, post it here if you are comfortable. There will be good advice, even if you don't implement all of it!
We're going to do it every other week.. the Saturday after payday, but yes, I think sitting down and reviewing it will go a long ways. Since we're starting this in the middle of a month, we obviously can't go FULL STEAM since we've already been spending, but we made a budget that will work for us starting August 1 (really July 26, next check!). Then, we made a separate budget based on how much money we have right this minute to get us through the next two weeks.
Full disclosure (oh, this is might be flameful!): We already have a weekend in St. Louis planned for this weekend. It has been paid for already, and we're going. We will have to spend some money on food while there, but we budgeted it out. I am also going on a cruise (flying out of St. Louis on Monday-thus the weekend there) for a bachelorette party next week. Luckily, all food is included, so all I have to pay for while I'm there are drinks, whatever we want to do at the ports, and any souvenirs. I budgeted this out of what I have in my personal account now (not in the joint/bill account). So, we're going to be more careful in St. Louis than we would have been, and I'm going to be a lot choosier in how I spend my money on the cruise, but I'm not canceling the trips because they've been paid for.
Re: Posting a budget - I might do this at some point, but for now, I'm feeling a little bit vulnerable/sensitive about it based on some of the reactions in this thread. I'll think on it.
So you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater (see what I did there?) when it comes to my advice, please know I'm not such a hardliner that I'd tell you to cancel the trip or the cruise... I think your plan for dealing with those two upcoming expenses sounds very reasonable.
But I do still think you should actually put your new budget into practice and try improve your debt/savings situation before TTC. I just can't understand why waiting six months would be such a huge sacrifice for you considering your ages.
Post by theintended on Jul 15, 2013 21:11:13 GMT -5
Looking into 0% cards is a good idea, but make sure you read the fine print about when you need to pay the balance before the higher rate kicks in. You're often accountable for back interest if you still have a balance after the introductory period ends. Related: did you say you got your current 0% card two years ago? If so, I'd double check that rate -- if you haven't already -- to make sure it's still 0.
You've been a good sport about the TTC advice. It will never be easier than now for you to get your financial life on the right path. As others pointed out, delaying for a year could make a huge difference. (Yes, you may have nine months more to save, or you may go on bed rest, deliver early or any other number of complications that would throw a wrench in your plans). But if you're not going to wait that long, I would think that even waiting three months to make sure the new budget will stick would give you some peace of mind and put you on firmer ground.
Sorry to harp. I think most of us have because we want to see you succeed. Good luck!
Signed,
Got pregnant at 27 and occasionally daydreams about where we'd be financially with a year or two more pre-kid
Post by HoneySpider on Jul 15, 2013 21:12:04 GMT -5
Just wanted to come back in and say good luck - I think it's great that you're listening to some of the advice here and already making changes. You can do it and just think of the satisfaction you'll get making those huge cc payments every month!
You've been a good sport about the TTC advice. It will never be easier than now for you to get your financial life on the right path. As others pointed out, delaying for a year could make a huge difference. (Yes, you may have nine months more to save, or you may go on bed rest, deliver early or any other number of complications that would throw a wrench in your plans). But if you're not going to wait that long, I would think that even waiting three months to make sure the new budget will stick would give you some peace of mind and put you on firmer ground.
Sorry to harp. I think most of us have because we want to see you succeed. Good luck!
This. We're really trying to give you some perspective, not hurt your feelings.
We can extend our student loan payments out to 25 years. Obviously, we'd love to get that tackled sooner, but first we have to start with the credit card debt. Our thought past that will be to re-evaluate where we are after the CC debt is taken care of. It will be our next financial priority for sure.
I'd consider making more retirement savings your next financial priority. If the remaining student loan rates are low, it makes more sense to let your money earn even more in the market. And saving as much as you can as early as you can (getting up to 15% from 9% would be a good start) means you'll take full advantage of compounding interest.
I did double check this.. dug out my last statement, and it's still listed at 0, and there's a column that says "introductory offer only?" and next to it, it says no.
Great! I didn't even know that was possible. I thought they were always introductory rates.
You've been a good sport about the TTC advice. It will never be easier than now for you to get your financial life on the right path. As others pointed out, delaying for a year could make a huge difference...
Sorry to harp. I think most of us have because we want to see you succeed. Good luck!
I understand the advice. I know that anything could happen with bed rest, early delivery, etc. It's a risk I am willing to take.
Why?
I'm not being snarky and I won't even argue with whatever your answer is... But I just cannot wrap my head around why a 27-year-old with no known medical issues but a ton of debt would entertain this point of view.
Waiting six months to a year and getting your finances in order first would make SUCH A HUGE, MASSIVE DIFFERENCE to your - and your child's - financial wellbeing that I'm just flabbergasted over here.
First of all bricco I want to say it was awesome of you to ask for help and you've handled this post with incredible grace.
Sometimes you just need something to shock you into shape and seeing the concrete numbers seems to have had that effect. It's not like you guys have absolutely no wiggle room- you've already identified areas you can cut way back. I wouldn't want to stop TTC either, so just use that as motivation to stick to your budget.